Building Birth Confidence

Katie Smith
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
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Building Birth Confidence is the podcast for anyone who is pregnant after a difficult birth, pregnancy loss, or traumatic experience, and who is scared, exhausted, and trying to find a way through.# I’m Katie, an NHS Mental Health Midwife and Perinatal Trauma Specialist. Every week I bring you honest, clinically informed conversations about the things that rarely get said out loud: the fear, the guilt, the disconnect, the grief that comes with pregnancy after trauma. And the tools, the understanding, and the realistic hope that can make a real difference. This is not a positive thinking podcast. This is a podcast for people who need more than reassurance. You deserve support that actually meets where you are. New episodes every week. Start wherever feels right.

  1. 2D AGO

    Fear Doesn’t Have to Run the Show

    So many people preparing for birth after a difficult experience are carrying two fears at once: the fear of the birth itself, and the fear of being too scared to cope. In this episode, Katie talks honestly about why the standard advice to eliminate fear before labour is unhelpful for anyone who has been through something traumatic, and what a more realistic, useful approach looks like instead. This is the episode for anyone who has been told their fear is the problem and has quietly started to believe it. In This Episode Why hypnobirthing tools genuinely work, and the three places where the standard framing needs adjusting for people with a traumatic historyThe problem with being told that fear makes labour harder, and why that message puts an impossible pressure on people whose nervous systems are already primedWhat a different approach to fear actually looks like in practice, including environment, support, communication with your birth partner and team, and the role of distractionHow every step of birth preparation builds evidence against the belief that you won’t be able to copeA listener question about whether anxiety in labour affects the baby, and what Katie actually thinks about that  Practical Tool This Week The personal toolkit exercise. Think back to any moment in your life when you felt frightened or overwhelmed and something helped. Write down what that was. Then think about whether it could be available to you during your birth. This is not a generic list of coping strategies. It is yours specifically, and it is one of the most useful things you will bring into the birth room. Resources Mentioned: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/

    15 min

  2. APR 26

    The Reframe That Changes Everything

    There is an idea that changes everything about how you approach this birth. Trauma isn’t caused by what happens to you, it’s caused by what feels too much to bear. In this episode, Katie explains what that distinction actually means, why it gives you more control than you might think, and how it shifts the whole question of birth preparation from ‘how do I stop bad things happening’ to ‘how do I make sure nothing feels unbearable.’   In This Episode Why trauma is defined by the experience of an event, not the event itself,  and what the research actually showsWhy two people can have the same birth and one walks away fine while the other carries it for yearsHow this reframe shifts preparation from trying to guarantee a perfect birth to building the skills and support that make hard things bearableWhat ‘prepared’ honestly looks like for someone with your history, and why it’s more achievable than you thinkA practical two-column exercise to start identifying what was unbearable last time, and what is within your control this timePractical Tool This Week The two columns exercise, a two-part written practice that helps you identify what felt unbearable in your previous birth, and then map out what is genuinely within your control for this one. Start with what you can actually influence. That list is longer than you think. Resources Mentioned: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/

    10 min

  3. APR 19

    Why This Pregnancy Feels So Different

    The scan is fine. The midwife says everything looks good. And yet there's this flatness, this going-through-the-motions feeling, like you're present at all the appointments but not quite inside them. In this episode, Katie explains exactly why that disconnect happens after a difficult previous experience, why it isn't rejection of your baby, and what to do with the guilt that piles on top of it. IN THIS EPISODE: Why your nervous system keeps a lid on hope and attachment after traumaThe specific ways protective disconnection shows up, named without judgementThe grief for the innocent version of pregnancy you expected to havePermission to feel all of it, the terror and the hope, the love and the fearWhy the disconnect doesn't mean you're not a good mother PRACTICAL TOOL THIS WEEK: The permission practice, when a difficult feeling arrives, say: "I am allowed to feel this. This feeling makes sense. It doesn't mean anything bad about me or my baby." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/ With compassion, Katie - NHS Mental Health Midwife | Perinatal Trauma Specialist

    12 min

  4. APR 12

    The Guilt, Shame & Self-Blame Nobody Talks About

    There is a thought that sits quietly underneath the fear for so many people who've been through a difficult birth: this was my fault. In this episode, Katie names it directly - the self-blame, the guilt, the shame - and explains where it comes from, why it isn't the truth, and what to do with it that actually helps. IN THIS EPISODE: The specific self-blame thoughts that come after a difficult birth, named without judgementThe difference between guilt and shame, and why that distinction matters clinicallyThe real barriers to self-compassion for people who've been through traumaWhy self-compassion isn't self-indulgent, and what it actually feels like to practise itA compassionate self-talk practice to try when the self-critical voice gets loud PRACTICAL TOOL THIS WEEK: The friend question - when the self-critical voice arrives, ask: what would I say to a friend who said this to me? Then say that to yourself instead. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/ With compassion, Katie - NHS Mental Health Midwife | Perinatal Trauma Specialist

    16 min

  5. APR 5

    What Is Tokophobia - And Could You Have It?

    Maybe you've heard the word tokophobia before and felt a flicker of recognition. Or maybe you've never heard it - and you've just been carrying this particular dread without a name for it. In this episode, Katie explains what tokophobia actually is, why having a name for it matters, and what it means for the support you can ask for. IN THIS EPISODE: The difference between general birth anxiety and tokophobia — and why it mattersPrimary and secondary tokophobia explained in plain languageThe specific signs that might mean this is more than nervesWhy having a clinical name for what you're experiencing changes what you can ask forWhat to say at a GP or midwife appointment to access the right support PRACTICAL TOOL THIS WEEK: The three-phrase practice - a simple tool for when the dread arrives: "I know what this is. This response makes sense. I am safe right now." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/ With compassion, Katie - NHS Mental Health Midwife | Perinatal Trauma Specialist

    16 min

  6. MAR 29

    What Is Actually Happening In Your Body When You’re Terrified

    Have you ever wondered why 'just calm down' makes absolutely no difference when you're scared about birth? In this episode, Katie explains the actual neuroscience of fear,  in plain language, so you finally understand why your body responds the way it does. And why that response is biology, not failure. IN THIS EPISODE: What the amygdala is and why it fires before your thinking brain catches upThe four threat responses - fight, flight, freeze, and fawn - and which one feels most like youWhy 'positive thinking' can't reach trauma-based fear - and what the science actually saysThe window of tolerance - what it is, how trauma narrows it, and why that mattersA body scan practice to help you check in with where you actually are PRACTICAL TOOL THIS WEEK: The body scan, a 60-second check-in that helps you identify whether you're activated, shut down, or inside your window of tolerance, so you can choose the right response. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/ With compassion, Katie - NHS Mental Health Midwife | Perinatal Trauma Specialist

    15 min

  7. MAR 22

    I'm Scared to Give Birth Again - And Nobody Gets It

    If you're pregnant again after a difficult birth or pregnancy experience, and you're scared, and exhausted, and wondering why you can't just feel excited like everyone else seems to, this episode is for you. In this first episode of Series 2, Katie names what fear after perinatal trauma actually looks like from the inside, and why none of it is weakness. IN THIS EPISODE: Why fear after birth trauma shows up differently to ordinary pregnancy anxietyThe four ways it tends to look in real life: avoidance, catastrophising, isolation, and guiltWhy the people around you might not understand, and why that's not your faultWhy 'thinking positive' doesn't reach this kind of fear, and what doesA simple grounding tool you can use today when the fear feels like too much PRACTICAL TOOL THIS WEEK: The 3-2-1 grounding technique - a body-based tool that brings your nervous system into the present moment when fear takes over. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie 30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free) https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear CONNECT WITH KATIE: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/ With compassion, Katie - NHS Mental Health Midwife | Perinatal Trauma Specialist

    16 min

  8. 07/26/2025

    Understanding Your Amazing Uterus

    Your uterus is one of the most powerful, and misunderstood, organs in your body. But if you’ve experienced a difficult or traumatic birth before, it can be hard to trust it. In this gentle, informative episode, Katie explains: How the uterus works during labour (with insights from hypnobirthing and Mindful Birthing by Nancy Bardacke)Why fear can create tension in the uterine muscles, and how relaxation supports effective labourWhat your uterus needs to work well (movement, breath, and calm)How to rebuild body trust after traumaA short guided visualisation to reconnect with your body with kindness and compassion✨ This isn’t about birthing a certain way, it’s about giving your body the support it needs to do what it’s designed to do. Download Katie’s free Birth Plan Guide + Template Connect With Katie: Instagram: @birthcarewithkatieFacebook: Birthcare with KatieWebsite: Birthcare.co.ukListen & Subscribe: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who might benefit from these insights. Your support helps others discover the podcast and find the tools they need to approach their birth journey with confidence.

    13 min
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About

Building Birth Confidence is the podcast for anyone who is pregnant after a difficult birth, pregnancy loss, or traumatic experience, and who is scared, exhausted, and trying to find a way through.# I’m Katie, an NHS Mental Health Midwife and Perinatal Trauma Specialist. Every week I bring you honest, clinically informed conversations about the things that rarely get said out loud: the fear, the guilt, the disconnect, the grief that comes with pregnancy after trauma. And the tools, the understanding, and the realistic hope that can make a real difference. This is not a positive thinking podcast. This is a podcast for people who need more than reassurance. You deserve support that actually meets where you are. New episodes every week. Start wherever feels right.

Information

  • Creator
    Katie Smith
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    21
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Building Birth Confidence
  • Show Website
    Building Birth Confidence