Car Ride Conversations For Sports Families

Valerie Alston
  • 4.8 (13)
  • SPORTS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

The ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and youth sport athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time. Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building effective self-talk, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your youth sport athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way. Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch! Questions? Comments? Ideas? ✉️ Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me On: 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 ✨ For exclusive tips, tools, and updates, join my newsletter: 📬 https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

  1. Post Game Car Rides Do’s and Don’ts

    4D AGO

    Post Game Car Rides Do’s and Don’ts

    How Post-Game Talks Can Build Confidence (or Break the Joy) Host Valerie Alston explains why the post-game car ride can either strengthen or strain a young athlete’s love of sport and the parent-child relationship. She emphasizes there is no one-size-fits-all approach and encourages parents to “read the room,” consider athletes’ physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion, and let the child lead—or skip the conversation entirely. Alston warns against turning car rides into interrogations and suggests protecting joy by focusing on connection, support, and age-appropriate reflection. When discussing performance, she recommends balancing growth with celebration using a positive-to-negative ratio (e.g., 3:1), praising effort and character, and asking the athlete what they want to improve. She also proposes creating a family “car ride code” with simple ground rules and ends with guided discussion questions. 00:00 Why Car Rides Matter 01:24 No One Size Fits All 02:18 Read The Room 05:58 Ask First Not Interrogate 08:00 Protect The Joy 10:07 Reflect And Celebrate 13:27 Create A Car Ride Code 16:01 Conversation Questions 19:37 Wrap Up And Next Steps Episode #47: The 24 Hour Rule for Post Performance Reflection https://youtu.be/j5Yg_bnX_dA or https://3cscarrideconversations.captivate.fm/episode/47/ Discussion questions: How do you let your parents know that you are open to talking our you just need space?Do you like talking about games right after they happen, or later?What’s something that makes the ride home feel supportive instead of stressful?What’s one ‘car ride home rule’ we should start using? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    21 min
  2. Early Specialization vs Late Bloomers

    MAR 2

    Early Specialization vs Late Bloomers

    Late Bloomers Can Become Elite: What Sweden’s Soccer Pathways Reveal About Youth Sports Valerie Alston discusses research shared by Steve Magnusson on Sweden’s soccer development system, challenging the myth that athletes must be elite early to succeed. The data showed three nearly equal pathways to national-team level: 34% debuted at U15–16, 33% at U17–18, and 33% at U21 or directly to the senior team, with 12% of senior internationals having no junior international experience. Players from lower-ranked domestic clubs were overrepresented at senior levels, and junior participation was not a prerequisite for senior success. Alston argues development is non-linear and individualized, warns against early specialization, burnout, and weeding kids out too soon, and emphasizes work ethic, resilience, and character-building. She ends with conversation questions for athletes and parents about pressure, what skills matter, and long-term goals. 00:00 Late Bloomers Win 00:53 Welcome and Purpose 01:23 Sweden Study Setup 02:31 Three Pathways Data 04:04 What It Means 05:03 Why Early Elite Fails 08:21 Advice for Athletes 10:46 Advice for Parents 12:04 Fixing US Youth Sports 13:27 Family Discussion Questions 17:42 Wrap Up and Subscribe https://www.instagram.com/p/DVQ2BUtFN5R/?igsh=MWJzdWtjc2h6ZW00cw== Discussion questions: “Do you ever feel pressure to be ‘ahead’ of other kids your age? Where do you think that pressure comes from?”If being elite early doesn’t guarantee long-term success, what skills do you think actually matter most as you get older?”What would change about how we approach sports if our main goal was character and resilience instead of rankings and teams?”If you picture yourself 5–10 years from now, what kind of athlete, and person do you want to be? Shift the conversation from What team are you on? To Who are you becoming? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    18 min
  3. Joy vs. Pressure: What Olympic Free Skates Teach Us About Mindset

    FEB 23

    Joy vs. Pressure: What Olympic Free Skates Teach Us About Mindset

    Pressure vs Joy at the 2026 Winter Olympics: Mindset Lessons from Ilia Malinin & Alysa Liu In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston uses two contrasting 2026 Winter Olympics free skate finals to explore how mindset shapes performance and the experience of competing. She discusses Ilia Malinin entering as the heavy favorite, describing overwhelming attention, internal nerves, and pressure that contributed to a poor free skate and a drop to eighth place. In contrast, Alysa Liu returned after retiring for two years due to burnout, spending time in college classes, hiking, skiing, and reconnecting with life outside skating; she came back skating for joy and artistic expression, choosing her music, choreography, and costume design, and delivering a gold medal performance with what commentators called “California Calm.” Valerie explains the difference between performing for external approval and outcomes versus performing for love of the game, and how tying identity and self-worth to results can create anxiety and overthinking that disrupts automatic skills. She encourages athletes and parents to build a healthier performance mindset by developing interests and relationships outside sport, remembering that results don’t define personal worth, and intentionally reconnecting to joy when nerves rise. The episode ends with guided car-ride discussion questions about pressure versus enjoyment, grounding activities outside sport, reconnecting to why you love your sport, and finding joy and resilience even when results don’t go as planned, including Valerie’s example of a favorite softball game that her team lost in 18 innings against Northwestern. Discussion questions: Pressure vs. Enjoyment: How do you feel when you think about performing for others vs. performing for yourself and your joy in the sport?Perspective Check: What activities or relationships outside your sport help you feel grounded and less defined by scores or results?Internal Meaning: How can you remind yourself why you love your sport the next time nerves show up?Resilience in Response: When something doesn’t go as planned, how can you reconnect with joy instead of dwelling on pressure? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    19 min
  4. Pressure Isn’t the Problem, Interpretation Is

    FEB 16

    Pressure Isn’t the Problem, Interpretation Is

    Thriving Under Pressure: Lessons from Olympic Athletes In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston explores how athletes manage pressure during the Winter Olympics. She discusses why pressure itself isn't the enemy and how interpreting it differently can determine success. Valerie offers insights on mental toughness, resilience, and confidence, with specific examples from Olympic athletes. She provides conversation prompts for parents and young athletes to discuss how to handle high-pressure situations effectively. Tune in for advice on harnessing nerves and focusing on performance rather than outcomes. 00:00 Introduction to Pressure in Sports 01:03 The Winter Olympics: A Case Study 01:28 Understanding Athlete Reactions to Pressure 03:02 Mental Strategies for Handling Pressure 06:41 Youth Sports: Applying Olympic Lessons 11:21 Conversation Prompts for Families 15:28 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Discussion questions: When do you feel pressure most in your sport—and what do you usually tell yourself in those moments?How can feeling nervous actually mean you’re prepared and invested?What’s one phrase you could use to turn pressure into focus?As a parent/coach, how do we talk about pressure without making it heavier? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    17 min
  5. Confident, Calm, Clutch: Inside the Mindset of a 50-Year Coaching Veteran

    FEB 9

    Confident, Calm, Clutch: Inside the Mindset of a 50-Year Coaching Veteran

    Building Confident, Calm, and Clutch Athletes with Coach Jack Smithlin In this episode of 'Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families,' host Valerie Alston offers a preview of her new podcast 'The Clutch Academy.' This clip features Jack Smithlin, a coach with over 50 years of experience and an unbeaten record, discussing what it means for athletes to be confident, calm, and clutch. He shares insights on building mental performance, grit, and redefining success to foster resilience and love for the game. Whether you're a parent or a coach, learn valuable strategies to help athletes perform under pressure. Don't miss out on more tips and updates on 'The Clutch Academy' by subscribing to the newsletter! 00:00 Introduction to Clutch Performance 01:48 Meet Coach Jack Smithlin 02:25 Defining Confidence, Calm, and Clutch 03:14 Building Confidence Through Practice 04:32 The Importance of Mental Performance 09:19 Strategies for Coaches 14:24 The Mind-Body Connection 17:41 Car Ride Conversations 20:07 Closing Remarks and Newsletter Sign-Up Discussion questions: What helps you feel confident going into a game or tryout? Parents: What did confidence look like for you when you were younger?Why do you think being calm helps you play better? What could we do before games or at home to help each other stay calm and focused?Can you remember a time you were “clutch” you stepped up under pressure? What helped you rise to that moment? How can you build that mindset for next time?What do you think matters more to a coach: results or effort? Why? How does that change how you see your role as a teammate or a player? 🎧 Sneak Peek: The Clutch Academy Podcast (Launching 2026!) In the new year, I’m launching a new podcast called The Clutch Academy where I’ll interview coaches across sports and levels to unpack this core question: How do great coaches build athletes who are confident, calm, clutch and full of character? We’ll dive into: - What they say at practice, after games, and in tough moments - How they develop leadership and mental resilience - The strategies they use to help athletes succeed on and off the field If you’re a coach with something to share or know someone who should be on the mic I’d love to hear from you. 👉 Click here to apply to be a guest on The Clutch Academy https://valstoncoaching.typeform.com/clutchacademy Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    21 min
  6. What a Snow Day Can Teach Athletes About Adaptability, Effort, and Resilience

    FEB 2

    What a Snow Day Can Teach Athletes About Adaptability, Effort, and Resilience

    Embracing Adaptability: Lessons from a Snow Day This week on Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston shares a personal story about dealing with unexpected snowfall in the South and its parallels to sports challenges. Valerie discusses adaptability, problem-solving, and maintaining humor under pressure. She relates her snow day experience to athletes needing to adjust to adverse conditions and unplanned situations. Listen in for meaningful dialogue about resilience, mental toughness, and confidence-building while exploring engaging conversation starters for parents and young athletes. This episode is perfect for families looking to build stronger relationships and lifelong skills, one car ride at a time. 00:00 Snow Day Struggles and Lessons 00:42 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations 01:15 Creative Snow Shoveling Solutions 03:25 Adapting in Sports and Life 06:33 Humor and Perspective in Problem Solving 11:19 Interactive Car Ride Questions 15:15 Conclusion and Call to Action Discussion questions: Have you ever had to figure something out on the fly in your sport when things didn’t go as planned? When conditions aren’t ideal — weather, refs, equipment, teammates — what helps you stay focused instead of frustrated?”What’s something that felt harder than expected at first, but got easier once you adjusted? How important do you think it is for athletes to be able to laugh at mistakes or awkward moments?” Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    16 min
  7. Help Youth Athletes Build Better Habits - Make It Satisfying

    JAN 26

    Help Youth Athletes Build Better Habits - Make It Satisfying

    Building Lasting Habits: Rewarding Effort and Tracking Progress In this episode of 'Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families,' host Valerie Alston discusses the importance of making good habits satisfying to ensure they stick, especially for young athletes. Valerie explores the principles behind behavior change, as detailed in James Clear's book 'Atomic Habits,' emphasizing the Fourth Law of Behavior Change: make good habits satisfying and bad habits unsatisfying. She provides actionable strategies for parents and coaches to help young athletes pair behaviors with rewarding outcomes, track progress, and create immediate satisfaction to foster long-term behavior change. Valerie also shares practical tips for using habit trackers and gamification to maintain motivation and consistency. Don't miss out on valuable insights into building stronger relationships, promoting mental toughness, resilience, and confidence in young athletes. 00:00 Introduction to Building Lasting Habits 00:15 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations 00:50 The Science Behind Behavior Change 01:17 Law 4: Making Good Habits Satisfying 04:09 Creating Instant Rewards 10:35 Tracking Progress and Building Streaks 13:06 Handling Setbacks and Maintaining Momentum 16:35 Engaging Family Conversations 20:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4 Discussion questions: When you finish a habit you’re trying to build, what kind of reward actually motivates you — something fun, something relaxing, or seeing your progress?Which habits feel hardest to stick with, and what kind of reward would make showing up feel worth it?” How could we reward effort and consistency, not just performance or results?”Would tracking your habits or building a streak motivate you more than a physical reward? Why? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    21 min
  8. Build Better Habits for Youth Athlete- Make It Easy

    JAN 19

    Build Better Habits for Youth Athlete- Make It Easy

    Making Habits Stick: Simple Strategies for Athletes and Parents In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston explores how to make big goals attainable by shrinking habits to ensure they stick. Drawing inspiration from 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear, Valerie discusses the importance of making good habits easy to start and emphasizes the value of consistency over perfection. She offers actionable advice on breaking down daunting tasks into manageable steps, piggybacking new habits on existing ones, and making bad habits harder to start. Ideal for parents and young athletes, this podcast aims to foster mental toughness, resilience, and confidence through practical, everyday conversations. 00:00 Introduction to Effective Habits 00:49 Understanding the Third Law of Behavior Change 01:42 Making Habits Easy to Start 04:04 Practical Examples for Athletes and Students 05:34 Attaching New Habits to Existing Routines 06:33 Eliminating Bad Habits 08:10 Building Mental Toughness and Discipline 10:49 Conversation Prompts and Challenges 15:19 Final Thoughts and Call to Action Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4 Discussion questions: What habit feels hardest to start right now?How could we shrink that habit so it feels easier to begin?What daily routine could we attach that habit to?What’s one distraction we could make harder to access during school or practice prep? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    17 min
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4.8
out of 5
13 Ratings

About

The ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and youth sport athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time. Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building effective self-talk, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your youth sport athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way. Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch! Questions? Comments? Ideas? ✉️ Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me On: 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 ✨ For exclusive tips, tools, and updates, join my newsletter: 📬 https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

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