Care Without Burnout

Donna Bentley-Carr

Honest conversations for the people who give everything.Millions of people across the UK are caring for someone they love: a parent, a partner, a child, a sibling - without ever calling themselves a carer. They're sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends. And quietly, without noticing, many of them are running on empty.Care Without Burnout is the podcast that speaks directly to them.Hosted by Donna Bentley-Carr, founder of Care Without Burnout CIC, registered nurse, and someone who knows what it means to care for a loved one whilst holding everything else together. This show brings together expert voices and honest solo conversations to help unpaid carers protect their own wellbeing before crisis hits.Each episode explores what it really takes to keep going: the emotional weight of caregiving, the identity shifts that come with it, and the practical strategies that build genuine resilience - not the kind that asks you to do more, but the kind that helps you stay whole.

  1. 6d ago

    Love, Loss, and Legacy: Transforming Caregiver Grief into Purpose

    In this poignant episode, Donna continues her conversation with advocate Mike Parrish about his journey caring for his late husband, Tom, who lived with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy and Corticobasal Degeneration. Mike candidly discusses the emotional and practical hurdles of navigating rare dementia diagnoses, systemic shortcomings within the healthcare system, and the heavy toll of unpaid caregiving.  KEY TAKEAWAYS Rare Dementias Lack Standard Roadmaps: Conditions like PSP and CBD affect far fewer people than Alzheimer's, resulting in less research and guidance. Carers are often left to react to symptoms as they happen rather than knowing what to expect next. Historical Trauma Influences Current Care Needs: Older LGBTQ+ adults lived through eras when homosexuality was illegal and severely stigmatized. This history creates deep-seated anxieties about entering care environments or welcoming unfamiliar carers into their homes. Memory Regression Can Relive Past Anxieties: As dementia causes memories to regress to earlier decades, individuals may lose awareness of modern social acceptance and fear being outed, affecting their willingness to show affection, accept care, or feel safe in their surroundings. Systemic Gaps Fall on Unpaid Carers: Finding inclusive, specialized care and respite often requires extensive self-directed research by the carer, highlighting a critical lack of proactive support from local authorities and healthcare providers. Carers Face a Dual Loss: When a loved one passes away, carers experience a double layer of grief—grieving the person they lost and grieving the full-time role that defined their daily life. Channeling that energy into advocacy can create a meaningful legacy. BEST MOMENTS "What you do as a result of being victimized... you carry that with you, and I think that's probably true for a lot of minorities." "I can't have somebody in my house who doesn't like the idea that we are married... That's not looking after somebody, that's quite frightening." "Not only have you lost the person that you're caring for... you then grieve the role that you were fulfilling, because if you were 24/7 on call, all of a sudden you've got this big hole." "The system is not working to support the people who are supporting the people that they are supposed to care for." "The love doesn't stop when somebody dies, it continues. So a way of loving him is creating an ongoing legacy..." ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. rebecca@rebeccacookcoach.com @rebeccacookcoach on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw==⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠hello@carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠https://carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠⁠

    Love, Loss, and Legacy: Transforming Caregiver Grief into Purpose
  2. Aug 3

    Navigating the Unknown: Love, Loss, and Dementia Without a Diagnosis

    Donna speaks with Mike Parish about his 47-year journey with his late husband, Tom, and the heartbreaking complexities of caring for a partner through young-onset dementia.  Mike opens up about the subtle early signs, the silent struggles of being an unpaid carer, and the frustrating years spent navigating the medical system without a formal diagnosis. The conversation illuminates the unique vulnerabilities faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in caregiving, the heavy financial and emotional burdens placed on family carers, and how music provided a powerful bridge to Tom’s memories even when speech was lost. KEY TAKEAWAYS The Diagnostic Void: Many families navigate years of debilitating dementia symptoms and life changes without a formal diagnosis, leaving them isolated and without structural support. Unseen Carer Burdens: Unpaid family carers face immense financial and emotional strains due to systemic gaps that fail to recognise or support them as essential partners in care. Unique LGBTQ+ Vulnerabilities: Older LGBTQ+ individuals often rely on chosen families and face additional barriers to finding culturally safe, inclusive caregiving environments. BEST MOMENTS "And to actually find that you’re not only in love with somebody, but you’re having fun all of the time—it was just, it was almost like a dream."  "You don't know what you don't know... You're constantly on guard, you're constantly on high alert all the time." "It's almost like you're the most important person in the whole of that person's life, and yet you're on the outside." ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. rebecca@rebeccacookcoach.com @rebeccacookcoach on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw==⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠hello@carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠https://carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠⁠

    Navigating the Unknown: Love, Loss, and Dementia Without a Diagnosis
  3. Jul 21

    Putting Your Gas Mask on First: Navigating the Rollercoaster of Chronic Caregiving

    Donna sits down with Rebecca, a mother whose life shifted instantly when her daughter was diagnosed with brittle type 1 diabetes during the height of the COVID-19 lockdown. Rebecca shares the gruelling reality of transitioning from a parent to a 24/7 medical caregiver, facing steep learning curves, isolation, and agonising guilt over unspotted warning signs.  The conversation dives headfirst into the toxic cycle of self-neglect common among caregivers, tracing Rebecca's personal breakthrough from total burnout to setting firm boundaries and rediscovering her own wellness through paddle-boarding. It’s a powerful exploration of the vital truth that to effectively care for someone else, you must first survive yourself. KEY TAKEAWAYS Caregiver Guilt is an Illusion: Chronic diagnoses often manifest gradually, and parents must forgive themselves for not noticing subtle shifts in an otherwise healthy child. The "Gas Mask" Principle is Non-Negotiable: Carving out dedicated wellness time is not a selfish act; it is an essential maintenance requirement to remain strong enough to support those who rely on you. Empowered Advocacy Means Setting Boundaries: Caregivers must confidently trust their intimate knowledge of their loved one, while insisting that institutional support systems—like schools and family networks—actively share the caregiving load rather than defaulting entirely to one person. BEST MOMENTS "I was told initially that too little can kill her and too much can kill her, which sort of puts quite a big fear on you in the early days. Suddenly you're left alone making medical decisions without really much support." "By talking to a counsellor it allowed me to park all of the medical explanations and the justifications of what I'd done and what I hadn't done, and I could just talk about me." "I have to start to let go and put myself first. I'm all Abigail's got now, and if I burn out there's nobody to take care of her." ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. rebecca@rebeccacookcoach.com @rebeccacookcoach on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw==⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠hello@carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠https://carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠⁠

    Putting Your Gas Mask on First: Navigating the Rollercoaster of Chronic Caregiving
  4. Jul 15

    From Caregiver to Griever: Exploring the Complexities of Loss and Identity

    In this episode of the Care Without Burnout podcast, host Donna Bentley-Carr welcomes Laura, a social prescriber with over 20 years of experience in social care. Laura shares her insights on the importance of social prescribing in supporting patients with non-medical issues that impact their health and well-being, particularly for unpaid carers. She discusses her role in connecting individuals to vital services and resources, emphasising the emotional toll of caregiving and the need for support. Additionally, Laura introduces her new venture as a grief and loss coach, highlighting the complexities of grief that often accompany caregiving roles. KEY TAKEAWAYS Social Prescribing Importance: Social prescribing offers a holistic approach to healthcare by addressing non-medical issues that impact health and well-being, such as housing, benefits, and social isolation, thereby reducing unnecessary GP visits. Support for Carers: Many carers feel isolated and overwhelmed, often unaware of the support services available to them. Connecting them with local resources can significantly improve their well-being and provide necessary respite. Grief and Loss Coaching: Grief can encompass both physical loss and non-death losses, such as the loss of routine or purpose. Understanding these different types of grief is crucial for providing effective support to those navigating their feelings after a loss. BEST MOMENTS "One of the main objectives for social prescribing is to reduce the amount of times that patients might need to see their GP because they found that a lot of patients were going to their GP with more social issues." "People come to us and they don't know what services are out there. And when we tell them, they're like, Wow, I didn't know that was there." "There's a non-death grief there as well that's attached to the physical bereavement. You can live alongside your grief. It's not going anywhere." ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw==⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26⁠⁠ ⁠⁠hello@carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠  ⁠⁠https://carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠

  5. Jul 6

    Navigating the Healthcare Maze: How Clarity Bridge Supports Unpaid Carers

    In this episode of the Care Without Burnout podcast, host Donna Bentley-Carr welcomes Liz, a pharmacy technician with 25 years of experience in the health industry, who has founded Clarity Bridge, a non-clinical advocacy service designed to support unpaid carers navigating the complexities of the healthcare system. Liz shares her personal journey that inspired her to create this service, highlighting the challenges carers face during hospital discharges and the often confusing medical terminology they encounter. Clarity Bridge Website - https://www.myclaritybridge.uk/ KEY TAKEAWAYS Clarity Bridge Advocacy Service: Clarity Bridge is a non-clinical advocacy service designed to help individuals navigate the complexities of the health system, particularly during the discharge process from hospitals. Understanding Medical Terminology: Many discharge letters and medical documents are filled with jargon and codes that can be confusing for patients and their families. Clarity Bridge aims to translate this information into plain English to help families understand their loved ones' care needs. Nationwide Availability: Clarity Bridge is not limited to a specific locality; it offers its services nationwide, making it accessible to anyone in need of support during challenging healthcare situations. BEST MOMENTS "Clarity Bridge is an advocacy service... for people that are trying to navigate the health industry and understand where they are in that system." "When you're a patient... it opened my eyes to how people that don't have the professional experience navigate the system." "It's not just a case of helping people navigate discharges... but also preparing for up-and-coming appointments." ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw==⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26⁠⁠ ⁠⁠hello@carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠  ⁠⁠https://carewithoutburnout.org⁠⁠

  6. Jun 29

    Empowering Carers: Strategies for Maintaining Well-Being While Caring for Loved Ones - With Sara Challice

    In this episode of the Care Without Burnout podcast, host Donna Bentley-Carr speaks with Sara Challice, a former carer who dedicated 13 years to supporting her partner through a battle with a malignant brain tumor. Sarah shares her personal journey, highlighting the emotional and physical challenges of caregiving, including the risk of burnout and the importance of self-care. They discuss practical tools for managing stress, the significance of finding joy in small moments, and the necessity of seeking support and respite. Sara emphasizes the need for carers to prioritise their own well-being to provide better care for their loved ones, and she offers valuable insights and advice for those just starting their caregiving journey. This episode is a heartfelt reminder of the resilience of carers and the importance of community and self-compassion in the caregiving experience. Self-Care is Essential: Carers often neglect their own needs while focusing on their loved ones. It's crucial to prioritize self-care to prevent burnout and maintain overall well-being. Seek Support and Resources: Carers should actively seek out support services, such as local charities and respite care options. Many resources are available that can help alleviate the burden of caregiving. The Importance of Breaks: Regular breaks are vital for carers to recharge. Taking time away from caregiving responsibilities can lead to better care for the loved one and improved mental health for the carer. BEST MOMENTS "I realised not only was I last on my list, I wasn't even on the list of priorities. I knew I had to make changes." "Carers UK says on one of their particular surveys, the best part of 70% of carers fall mentally or physically unwell." "By having a rest, you're helping your loved one. You're actually going to be able to do a better job and do it for longer." USEFUL LINKS https://www.whocares4carers.com/ ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. ⁠https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw==⁠ ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26⁠ ⁠hello@carewithoutburnout.org⁠  ⁠https://carewithoutburnout.org⁠

  7. Jun 22

    The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Embracing Change and Fostering Connection - With Andy Baker

    In this episode of the Care Without Burnout podcast, host Donna Bentley-Carr welcomes Andy Baker, Managing Director and Head Trainer at The Able Training Company, to discuss the challenges faced by unpaid caregivers, particularly those caring for individuals with dementia or mental health conditions. Andy shares insights from his extensive experience in health and social care, emphasizing the importance of understanding behavior and adapting care to the individual rather than the diagnosis. He introduces his book, "The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead," which focuses on fostering empathy and creating meaningful moments in caregiving. The conversation highlights the significance of self-care for caregivers, the need for open communication, and the value of community support, offering practical tips for navigating the complexities of caregiving while maintaining one's well-being. KEY TAKEAWAYS Embrace Imperfection: Accept that perfection does not exist in caregiving. It's important to recognize that "good enough" is sufficient, and caregivers should not hold themselves to unrealistic standards. Seek Support: Caregivers should understand that they are not alone in their journey. It's crucial to communicate their needs to friends, family, and professionals, as many people are willing to help if they are aware of the situation. Focus on Positive Moments: Shift the narrative from what individuals with dementia can no longer do to what they can still enjoy. Creating joyful moments, even through simple activities, can enhance the quality of life for both the caregiver and the person being cared for. BEST MOMENTS "The one thing that stands out is that people are people. Once you start to understand yourself and others, there's a lot you can navigate in different ways." "Good enough is good enough. You don't have to do everything perfectly. Just knowing you've kept your loved one safe is a great job." ABOUT THE HOST Donna brings both professional depth and personal lived experience to every conversation. She holds a Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology and is a qualified Alcohol-Free Performance Coach.  She had 28 years in NHS nursing and clinical leadership - including Matron roles in a busy teaching hospital -  yet found being a carer for a loved one incredibly challenging. That was when she founded Care Without Burnout, a not for profit Community Interest Company, to bridge a gap the NHS simply doesn't have the capacity to fill: preventative, relational support for the people doing the caring. Whether you're in the thick of it right now, supporting someone who is, or working alongside carers professionally this podcast is for you. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe wherever you listen. https://www.facebook.com/share/18sSX8fkRw/ https://www.instagram.com/carewithoutburnout?igsh=MTdvdmV6enY4ZTkxNw== https://www.tiktok.com/@cwb.cic?_r=1&_t=ZN-97SQfpF2r26 hello@carewithoutburnout.org  https://carewithoutburnout.org

  8. Jan 23

    Reclaiming Identity and Purpose Through Life After Public Service

    Today, Donna discusses the new direction she plans to take the podcast. Whether you have served in the NHS, policing, the military, local government, or social care, leaving the job that defined you is rarely just a career change; it is a profound identity shift. Donna outlines her mission to provide honest conversations, real stories of reinvention, and practical tools to help listeners rebuild confidence and find new meaning after the ID card is handed in. KEY TAKEAWAYS Leaving public service is fundamentally an identity shift rather than a simple career move, often requiring a total redefinition of who you are without the uniform or title. The transition is frequently disorienting and emotional, yet these challenging feelings are rarely discussed openly or honestly within the sector. There is a vast, supportive community of former public servants from various sectors, including the military, police, and social care, who are navigating this same path together. The podcast will move beyond theory to offer actionable advice on rebuilding confidence, well-being, and purpose to help you ground yourself in a new life. Despite the feelings of loss that come with leaving, the podcast focuses on hope, proving that there is a meaningful future and a new 'you' to discover beyond the role you once held. BEST MOMENTS "What happens when the job that shaped you ends? When the uniform comes off, the ID card is handed in, and the role that once defined you becomes a memory?" "For millions of people who served in the NHS, local government, policing, social care, the military, and the wider public sector, leaving isn't simple. It's emotional. It's disorienting." "I learned firsthand that life after public service is not a career change, it's an identity shift." "You'll discover that you're not alone, there's a whole community walking this path with you." "Remember, you're not alone, and there is a future beyond the role you once held." ABOUT THE HOST Donna Bentley‑Carr is a former NHS nurse turned leadership coach, organisational wellbeing strategist, and host of Life After Public Service — the podcast that explores what happens when a career of service comes to an end and a new identity begins. After 30 years on the frontline of healthcare, Donna experienced firsthand the emotional, psychological, and cultural challenges that come with leaving public service. Her own transition revealed a truth many never speak about: stepping away from a life of service isn’t just a career change — it’s an identity shift. Today, Donna supports people and organisations across the UK as they navigate change, rebuild confidence, and create healthier, more human‑centred cultures. Through her coaching, leadership development work, and storytelling, she brings warmth, honesty, and deep insight to conversations about purpose, resilience, and reinvention. With a blend of lived experience, professional expertise, and a gift for making people feel seen, Donna creates space for real stories, real emotions, and real transformation. Her mission is simple: to help people rediscover who they are beyond the role they once held — and to show that there is a meaningful, hopeful, and fulfilling life after public service. https://www.facebook.com/share/1FjUrwC7qS https://www.lifeafterpublicservice.co.uk/ Email: Donna@lifeafterpublicservice.co.uk Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-bentley-carr This podcast features real-life stories from frontline public service workers, covering tough topics such as war, trauma and loss, and may be triggering to some listeners. Guests also share their tales of everyday heroism, inspiring joy, hope, empathy and humanity. If you have a story to share that could encourage others seeking change or additional income, please get in touch. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

    Reclaiming Identity and Purpose Through Life After Public Service

About

Honest conversations for the people who give everything.Millions of people across the UK are caring for someone they love: a parent, a partner, a child, a sibling - without ever calling themselves a carer. They're sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends. And quietly, without noticing, many of them are running on empty.Care Without Burnout is the podcast that speaks directly to them.Hosted by Donna Bentley-Carr, founder of Care Without Burnout CIC, registered nurse, and someone who knows what it means to care for a loved one whilst holding everything else together. This show brings together expert voices and honest solo conversations to help unpaid carers protect their own wellbeing before crisis hits.Each episode explores what it really takes to keep going: the emotional weight of caregiving, the identity shifts that come with it, and the practical strategies that build genuine resilience - not the kind that asks you to do more, but the kind that helps you stay whole.