Chasing Brighter Podcast: Choosing Real Over Perfect

Jessica Colarco and Kelly Fox
  • 5.0 (23)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

**2024 PODCAST OF THE YEAR WINNER: BEST FEMALE HOSTED PODCAST** Welcome to the Chasing Brighter podcast;  created as a guide to living brighter, more connected and real. Because real is the new perfect.  Are you ready to embrace the next chapter of your life with confidence and excitement? Whether you’re looking to reinvent your career, improve your health, deepen your relationships, or find your true purpose, Chasing Brighter is here to help. Join us each week as we bring you inspiring stories, expert interviews, and actionable tips to help you navigate the challenges and opportunities of midlife. From wellness and personal growth to connection and beyond, we’ve got you covered.

  1. 19h ago

    Super Woman Diaries #3: Back to School: Then vs. Now (and Learning to Let Go)

    Back to school looks nothing like it did when we were kids. Jessica and Kelly compare the back-to-school shopping of their childhoods (the planned outfits, the double socks, the once-a-year wardrobe refresh) with what it looks like now: uniforms, reused backpacks, digital textbooks, and teenagers who carry their entire lives around because nobody uses lockers. Then the conversation gets real. They talk about the mental load of the school year, why middle school is such a big transition, how much of it is really the "noise" around the coursework, and what it means to let your kids figure things out without tying their achievements to your worthiness. If you're a parent trying to be more chill than your instincts allow, this one's for you. In This Episode Back-to-school shopping memories from the '90s, and how different it feels today Why kids' wardrobes, and parents' spending, have changed Reusing supplies instead of replacing everything: Kelly shares reporting that 28% of parents plan to reuse last year's items The financial strain of back-to-school season Why backpacks are the size of a body when lockers go unused The textbook maze: ebooks, physical books, and being "analog learners" Supply lists that never get used (and the supplies kids won't let you remove) Raising kids who follow the rules when you're the "efficiency over rules" type Trying to be "chill" about grades, and where that gets hard Why middle school is a lot: new teachers, hormones, and executive function expectations Planners, calendars, and communication: what helps kids stay on top of assignments Transparency vs. "tricking" students: why knowing what's coming isn't cheating Seeing the teacher's side while still advocating from the parent side Letting go of micromanaging school and keeping the relationship at the center Timestamps (approximate) 00:05 – Welcome and why back to school feels so different now 00:24 – Back-to-school shopping memories: the outfits, the socks, the stirrup pants 02:30 – Today's version: uniforms, one pair of shoes, and teens with opinions on fashion 05:00 – Why is it different? Cost, quality, and where clothes come from 05:39 – Reusing supplies and the financial strain of the season 06:40 – Backpacks, binders, and the no-lockers reality 07:57 – Textbooks, ebooks, and analog learners 10:26 – The supply inventory: "Are you using this?" 12:03 – Rule followers, blending in, and efficiency over rules 13:00 – The grind of the school year and trying to be chill about grades 15:20 – Letting kids navigate it themselves: achievement isn't worthiness 17:40 – The middle school transition and the "noise" around coursework 19:04 – Planners, teacher communication, and executive function 20:23 – Syllabi, transparency, and the "real world" 22:36 – The teacher's perspective and staying curious 23:40 – Letting go of micromanaging, plus what's next Reflection Questions What did back to school mean to you as a kid, and how does that shape the way you approach it as an adult? Where are you doing something out of habit that isn't actually serving you or your family? What would it look like to give the people you love space to figure something out, even when you can see the bumps coming? How do you separate someone else's achievements from your own sense of worth? Freebie of the Month Grab this month's The One Thing worksheet by signing up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. Join the Conversation How are you doing with back to school? Send us a DM on Instagram at @chasingbrighter and tell us what's working, what isn't, and where you're trying to let go. Keywords & Search Terms back to school, back to school stress, back to school shopping, back to school then vs now, parenting middle schoolers, sixth grade transition, middle school parenting, executive function in kids, letting go as a parent, micromanaging school, parenting teens, parenting tweens, mom life, mental load, working moms, sisters podcast, women's podcast, lockers, backpacks, school supplies, reusing school supplies, back to school budget, ebooks vs textbooks, teacher communication, planners and organization, grades and worthiness, achievement and worthiness, raising independent kids, intrinsic motivation, rule followers, 90s nostalgia, Superwoman Diaries, Chasing Brighter, Becoming Not Arriving, personal development for women, self-care, lively living, connection Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter signup: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter

  2. 4d ago

    High Standards or Self-Sabotage: How to Tell the Difference

    Do you have high standards, or are you sabotaging yourself and calling it perfectionism? This week Jessica and Kelly dig into the sneaky ways perfectionism disguises itself as a virtue — and why it can be one of the most sophisticated ways we keep ourselves safe. They unpack the real clinical difference between standards that move you forward and self-sabotage that quietly keeps you stuck, share personal examples (hello, unposted Instagram drafts), and offer a few honest questions to help you tell which one you're actually dealing with. In This Episode Why "having high standards" can be a more socially acceptable cover story for perfectionism The clinical distinction that matters most: high standards move you toward something, while self-sabotage keeps you from it — even though they can look identical on the surface How Carol Dweck's research on praise, mindset, and risk-aversion shows up in adult perfectionism Socially prescribed perfectionism — when the standard feels like it's coming from outside you — and why it's the version that does the most damage Two questions to ask yourself when you're not sure which one you're facing: Is the bar specific, or does it keep moving? Genuine standards have a finish line; perfectionism doesn't, because the point is never completion. Does "not good enough yet" protect you from a specific fear? If the fear is about being seen, judged, or found out, it's a vulnerability problem — not a quality problem. Why naming the fear ("name it to tame it") shrinks it, and how avoidance makes it bigger than it actually is A reminder that this isn't about perfectionism being bad — caring about how things turn out isn't the problem; it's about getting curious about what the pattern is protecting you from Brighter Moves Kelly's move: Name one thing you've been refining past the point of readiness. Ask yourself honestly — is this next round of changes making it better, or are you just not ready to let it be seen? You don't have to change anything yet. Just notice. Jessica's move: Sit with this question this week — what would I finish or share if I knew that scared and good enough could coexist? Because they can. You don't need to feel calm to be ready. This Month's Freebie The One Thing Starter worksheet — a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name the one thing you've been putting off and take the one small step toward it. Grab it when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. Coming Up Next Week No framework, no teaching — Jessica and Kelly sit down and get honest about what they've each personally been putting off, including the things they haven't said out loud yet. Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here   perfectionism, self-sabotage, high standards vs perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, Carol Dweck mindset, fixed mindset vs growth mindset, fear of judgment, imposter syndrome, procrastination, avoidance, anxiety, name it to tame it, vulnerability, self-worth, achievement and worthiness, women and confidence, social media perfectionism, fear of being seen, personal growth, mental health podcast, Chasing Brighter, Real Over Perfect, sisters podcast

  3. Sep 14

    Super Woman Diaries #2: "2026 Is the New 2016" — Remembering Who We Were vs. Who We're Becoming

    Jessica and Kelly dig into the viral "2026 is the new 2016" trend — the exercise of looking back a decade and asking who you were then, what you miss, and what you don't. The conversation quickly turns into a heart-to-heart about parenting through transitions: Kelly reflecting on missing her kids' toddler years, and Jessica processing the very fresh experience of dropping her oldest daughter, Gabby, off at college. They talk through the emotional whiplash of watching a child thrive without you, the mental load that shifts (and doesn't) once a kid leaves home, and how far "away at school" really feels in 2026 versus a generation ago. What We Talk About The "2016 vs. now" trend and why picturing a specific year is so hard to do without anchoring on your kids' ages Kelly's mixed feelings about missing her kids' younger years while not missing the exhaustion that came with them Jessica's take on grief as a recurring, transition-by-transition experience — not a one-time event Why going all-in on college visits, extended orientation, and getting to know the campus made the drop-off easier The behind-the-scenes of choosing the right-fit school, and how a five-day orientation builds fast bonding and retention How support systems (mentors, upperclassmen "hosts," roommates) ease the transition for freshmen The temptation to monitor kids via apps like Life360 — and choosing not to How the household mental load shifts when a "squeaky wheel" kid leaves versus a low-maintenance one Meal plans, Venmo cards, and DoorDash culture — how Gen Z's relationship with food and money differs from their parents' childhoods Why immersive campus culture (walkable, self-contained "mini worlds") shapes the college experience differently than it did a generation ago Reflection Questions What year would you pick if someone asked you "when do you wish you could go back to"? What does that answer say about what you actually miss? Is there a transition in your life right now that you're grieving even as you're also excited about it? Where are you holding onto more control (checking in, monitoring, managing) than you actually need to? Connect With Us 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📸 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter 📘 Facebook: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 💌 Get our free monthly resource — sign up for the newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter 2026 is the new 2016, sending kids to college, empty nest, college drop off, parenting transitions, letting go of your kids, college orientation, freshman year college, mental load parenting, Gen Z college life, meal plan college, Life360 parenting, empty nest grief, college move in day, sisters podcast, midlife motherhood, parenting older kids, college readiness, letting your teenager grow up, nostalgia trend, women's mental health podcast

  4. Sep 10

    The Credential Trap: Why We Keep Waiting to Feel Qualified

    Last week we talked about "I'm not ready yet" as fear dressed up as logic. This week, Jessica and Kelly pull on that thread further to unpack the credential trap — the pattern of adding one more certification, one more year of experience, one more thing to point to before you'll let yourself begin. It looks like ambition and diligence from the outside, but underneath it is often a single question: do I have the right to be here? Kelly shares her own story of pursuing (and ultimately not needing) her MBA and her PMP certification, and Jessica opens up about the moments in 21 years of clinical practice where she's felt the pull toward "just one more" credential — including EMDR certification — even when she knew it wasn't what she actually needed. Together they explore the real difference between preparation and permission-seeking, why this pattern is so deeply tied to how women are socialized, and why the research shows this isn't always "just" imposter syndrome — for many women, and especially women of color, the extra proof they're gathering is a rational response to systems that really do demand more of them. What We Cover The credential trap as its own specific pattern — distinct from procrastination Kelly's story with her MBA, the GMAT, and working alongside colleagues with and without advanced degrees Kelly's PMP certification journey and what she learned about not needing the piece of paper Reshma Saujani's framing: girls are taught to be perfect, boys are taught to be brave A KPMG finding that 75% of female executives report experiencing imposter syndrome, often coping by adding more credentials Jessica on 21 years in clinical practice, the pull toward EMDR certification, and choosing brainspotting instead The real test: is this new knowledge you don't have, or is it a delay? And who are you imagining will finally give you permission? A Harvard Business Review perspective pushing back on "just fix your imposter syndrome" — for many women, especially women of color, the extra preparation is a rational response to real bias, not just a mindset issue Preparation vs. permission-seeking: preparation moves you toward something; permission-seeking keeps you at a safe distance Brighter Moves Jessica: Instead of asking "Am I qualified enough?" ask "Am I curious enough? Am I committed enough? Do I care about this enough?" Qualifications get you in the room — commitment keeps you there. Kelly: Audit one thing you're waiting to finish before you start something else. Ask honestly: is this genuinely necessary, or is it a sophisticated way to stay safe? You don't have to act on the answer — just answer it. This Week's Freebie 📥 [Grab your free download here] — The One Thing Starter Worksheet: a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name the one thing you've been putting off and take one small step toward it. Coming Up Next Week Jessica and Kelly tackle perfectionism — but not in the way you'd expect. Most women who struggle with it don't identify as perfectionists; they identify as someone with "high standards." That reframe is the trap. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📸 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter 👍 Facebook: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 📩 Newsletter signup credential trap, imposter syndrome, women and imposter syndrome, permission seeking vs preparation, overqualification, professional confidence, women in leadership, KPMG imposter syndrome study, Reshma Saujani, Harvard Business Review imposter syndrome, women of color and bias, MBA, PMP certification, EMDR certification, brainspotting, credentialism, self-doubt at work, career confidence, chasing brighter podcast, feeling qualified, waiting to start, fear of not being enough, workplace bias, systemic bias, procrastination and fear, one thing starter worksheet

  5. Sep 7

    Super Woman Diaries #1: How ChatGPT Became My Personal Stylist

    In this week's Superwoman Diaries, Jessica shares how she's been using ChatGPT as an unexpected style consultant on her weight loss journey. What started as a simple question — "how do I dress this changing body?" — turned into a full-blown "Jessica Style Playbook," complete with a closet audit, body-shape analysis, and outfit ratings. Kelly and Jessica dig into why understanding why something works on your body (not just that it does) is so much more useful than generic style rules, and how tools like this can replace — or at least prep you for — a stylist consultation. What We Talk About Jessica's "love affair" with using ChatGPT to analyze her body type, closet, and outfit photos Building a personalized "Jessica Style Playbook": color schemes, silhouettes, and a closet audit Discovering her body shape ("soft apple" with athletic shoulders) and what that means for fit Why a higher neckline, higher waistband, and structured double-fabric tops work better for her frame Getting outfit ratings and specific feedback (down to the neckline) from AI Comparing the AI experience to in-person stylists at Aritzia and Evereve How sizing inconsistency between brands complicates in-store shopping Kelly's take on Evereve's Trendsend box service and why in-store pickup gets you more options How bodies and style needs shift as we age — more structure, higher waistlines, more intentional fit Jessica's new favorite: a double-fabric Lululemon workout top she can't stop buying in every color Why feeling good in your clothes is directly tied to confidence Mentioned in This Episode ChatGPT — the AI tool Jessica used to build her style playbook Lululemon — for the double-fabric workout top Jessica is now obsessed with Aritzia — clothing store Jessica visited for a button-down shirt Evereve — stylist-supported clothing store, including their Trendsend box service This Month's Freebie The One Thing Starter Worksheet — a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name the one thing you've been putting off and take one step toward it. Get it, plus more free resources and the blog, at chasingbrighter.com. ChatGPT styling, AI personal stylist, weight loss journey, body confidence, dressing for your body type, soft apple body shape, capsule wardrobe, closet audit, wardrobe playbook, athletic shoulders, high waistband, structured tops, aging and style, Lululemon workout tops, Aritzia review, Evereve Trendsend, stylist vs AI, outfit confidence, sisters podcast, midlife style, Chasing Brighter

  6. Sep 3

    The Lie of "I'm Not Ready Yet"

    In this episode, they unpack why "I'm not ready yet" sounds responsible but is usually just fear in disguise, why readiness is a decision instead of a feeling, and how the question "Am I ready?" is a lot less useful than "Am I willing?" Jessica shares how she's built almost everything in her life — from her private practice to both podcasts — by starting before she felt ready, and Kelly gets honest about the goals she's been quietly putting off. What We Cover The difference between fear and being unready — and why we so often confuse the two Why perfectionism convinces us that "exactly right" and "not at all" are the only two options The idea that starters, even imperfect ones, tend to outpace people who wait to feel ready Why "I'm not ready" can be less about capability and more about belonging or perfectionism Reframing the question from "Am I ready?" to "Am I willing?" The myth of the perfect starting point, and why the conditions we're waiting for rarely arrive on their own Brighter Moves Kelly's move: Write down one thing you've been saying "not yet" to. You don't need to fix it or plan it — just name it. Jessica's move: Ask yourself, "What would I do this week if I knew being scared was allowed?" Not comfortable, not certain — just allowed. Free Download of the Month: Just One Thing This month's freebie is the Just One Thing starter worksheet — a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name one thing you've been putting off and take one real step toward it.   📥 [Grab your free download here] Connect With Us 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📸 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter 👍 Facebook: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 📩 Newsletter signup Coming Up Next Week Why do we keep adding credentials, experience, and proof before we let ourselves begin? Why does no amount of qualifying ever feel like enough — and who set that bar in the first place? Join us next week as we dig in. becoming not arriving, season 6, starting before you're ready, fear vs readiness, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, women and perfectionism, personal growth, starting a business, overthinking, procrastination, willingness vs readiness, Just One Thing worksheet, Chasing Brighter podcast

  7. Aug 31

    The Messy Middle: Chasing Brighter Season 6 Trailer

    Last season, we dug into the gap between who women think they're supposed to be and who they actually are — the expectations, the perfectionism, the invisible rules about what a "good life" looks like. But figuring out who you are was never the finish line. Season 6 picks up where that left off: the messy middle. What happens when you know who you are and have to actually start living that way? This season, Jessica and Kelly explore starting before you feel ready, letting friendships change without needing a villain, saying no without over-explaining yourself, and changing even when the people around you liked the old version of you better. Because maybe the goal was never arriving. Maybe it's becoming — and that's a life that's actually yours. Season 6 of Chasing Brighter premieres September 3rd. Come become with us. 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📷 Instagram: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 📘 Facebook: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter   becoming not arriving, chasing brighter season 6, messy middle, personal growth podcast, perfectionism, boundaries, identity, self-discovery, women's empowerment podcast, letting go of perfectionism, changing relationships, comparison, starting before you're ready, real over perfect, growth and rest

  8. Aug 27

    What are you waiting to feel ready for?

    So many of us are waiting for the moment we finally "arrive." When we lose the weight. When the kids need us less. When work calms down. When we're more organized, more confident, more together... then we'll be happy. Then we'll rest. But what if there isn't an arrival point? In this trailer, Jessica and Kelly open up Season 6 with a question that changes everything: what if this is it? Not in a depressing way, but in a freeing one. Maybe your life isn't something you have to perfect before you're allowed to enjoy it. Maybe you can be proud of who you are and still want to grow. Maybe rest doesn't have to be earned, and starting something before you feel ready is allowed too. This season isn't about becoming the perfect version of yourself. It's about becoming more you. Season 6 of Chasing Brighter, Becoming Not Arriving, begins September 3rd. In This Episode: Why the idea of "arrival" keeps so many of us stuck Letting go of the myth that you have to be finished before you can be happy Growth that's real, rest that's earned, and a life that's actually yours What to expect from Season 6 Season 6 begins September 3rd. Subscribe now so you don't miss it. Find us: Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram/TikTok: @chasingbrighter Keywords: chasing brighter, becoming not arriving, season 6, personal growth, self acceptance, letting go of perfectionism, rest without guilt, women's podcast, sisters podcast, real over perfect, growth mindset, self worth, starting before you're ready, permission to rest, life transitions

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**2024 PODCAST OF THE YEAR WINNER: BEST FEMALE HOSTED PODCAST** Welcome to the Chasing Brighter podcast;  created as a guide to living brighter, more connected and real. Because real is the new perfect.  Are you ready to embrace the next chapter of your life with confidence and excitement? Whether you’re looking to reinvent your career, improve your health, deepen your relationships, or find your true purpose, Chasing Brighter is here to help. Join us each week as we bring you inspiring stories, expert interviews, and actionable tips to help you navigate the challenges and opportunities of midlife. From wellness and personal growth to connection and beyond, we’ve got you covered.

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