32 episodes

This a podcast dedicated to the weird, unexplained, and all things sticky, stupid, and uncomfortable like a gloryhole in a nursing home.

Citizen's Guide To The Supernormal Citizen's Guide Productions

    • Comedy
    • 5.0 • 41 Ratings

This a podcast dedicated to the weird, unexplained, and all things sticky, stupid, and uncomfortable like a gloryhole in a nursing home.

    The Great Barrington Event; Corn, Butternuts, and 40 Pound Dildos

    The Great Barrington Event; Corn, Butternuts, and 40 Pound Dildos

    Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal
    Episode 31- The Great Barrington Event: Corn, Butternuts, and 40 Pound Sex Toys
    https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
    https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal
    Special Patreon Shoutout! - https://twitter.com/ObsidianShiv The best whip maker on Earth!
    Welcome back to the CGS blog. Where I get to wax philosophical about all things unexplained. In this week’s episode, we have a special guest, Ms. Tiffany Vanderlust or https://twitter.com/its_me_your_mom if you’re nasty. She joined us via the Zoom. In addition we had Ms. Laura and Jordan’s triumphant return. Jordan did some extensive research and we rewarded that by interrupting him throughout the entire show. I’m especially excited about this episode because we discuss a topic near and dear to my heart, giant sex toys. The beginning of the show, we talk about aliens or whatever but at the end of the show, known as “segment 3” (little inside baseball for all you non-podcasters out there) we do our favorite segment, Dick News! This is a meaty subject to be sure and we approach it with all the weight that it deserves. So, strap on and get ready because it’s gonna be a wild ride that leaves you wanting more and also wanting a sandwich and maybe a nap.
    We love you,
    Sarge
    citizensguidepodcast@gmail.com

    • 1 hr 4 min
    The Axman of New Orleans: House Axes, The Black Hand, and Jazzin’ it into the good towels

    The Axman of New Orleans: House Axes, The Black Hand, and Jazzin’ it into the good towels

    Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal
    Episode 28 - The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins
    https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
    https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal
    Well, we finally released another episode and it didn’t take us a month. That sounds like progress to me. This is another true crime episode and it’s got a spooky scary monster who used old-timey bible terms and loved Jazz. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear the Axman of New Orleans was Mike Pence. I know what you’re thinking, “why do you have to bring politics into this?” To that I respond, Mike Pence obviously likes Jazz. I mean, look at him. No one with eyes that dead hasn’t slowly masturbated to Miles Davis’ Kind Of Blue.
    Anyway, in researching this story, my biggest take away is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sure, fewer and fewer killers are trafficking in ax murders but it might come as no surprise that people in America have always been obsessed with race and immigrants. Much like today’s right wing quixotically fighting against migrants from south of Texas, early 19th century had a complicated relationship with another group of folks speaking a latin-based language, the dreaded Italian… which sounds like a super filling Subway Sandwich… great now I’m hungry. I won’t spoil the ending for you but this episode has some pretty interesting factors that led us down some weird roads. I hope you like the episode and I hope you’re staying safe.
    Be safe, we love you all.
    Sarge

    • 49 min
    The Servant Girl Annihilator! – Gloryholes, Bailey Jay… again, and Schrodinger's fingerprints

    The Servant Girl Annihilator! – Gloryholes, Bailey Jay… again, and Schrodinger's fingerprints

    Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal Ep. 29
    The Servant Girl Annihilator! – Gloryholes, Bailey Jay… again, and Schrodinger's fingerprints
    https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal
    https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
    Well, it’s been a f*****g lifetime since we had an episode release. As two out of the three of us are essential employees and Maynerd working hard from home, we were unable to get to our show. As we’ve not gotten a little more stable, we’re ready to make love to your earholes with our voices. Today’s topic is THE SERVANT GIRL ANNIHILATOR! One of the most horrific aspects of this story is the incredible amounts of racism exhibited by the people who investigated the crimes. Some things never change, unfortunately.
    Be Safe,
    Sarge

    • 1 hr 16 min
    The Bermuda Triangle Charcoal Drawings, Sanitary Napkins, and The Sinky Cyclops

    The Bermuda Triangle Charcoal Drawings, Sanitary Napkins, and The Sinky Cyclops

    Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal EP-28 REMIX!
    The Bermuda Triangle: Charcoal Drawings, Sanitary Napkins, and The Sinky Cyclops

    https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
    https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal
    Guys… we fudged up. We thought the audio was too quiet on the first Bermuda Triangle episode so we rerecorded it. However, Maynerd found it accidentally, edited it accidentally, and I released it… accidentally. The bad news is, we dropped the wrong episode, the good news is, we have two episodes! Some of the jokes are the same but some are very different and so it’s mildly funny… I think. You be the judge. I hope you like it. Same story, different jokes. It’s a CGS REMIX and not a big dumb mistake on my part. Is this one better, you be the judge but if we’re guilty, I will appeal.
    Love,
    Sarge

    • 1 hr 12 min
    The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins

    The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins

    Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal
    Episode 28 - The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins
    https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
    Welcome back to the CGS Blog! Holy shit, a lot has changed since we released our last episode. Jordan dropped something like 240 pounds, Maynerd and I sang a ballad, and the new Trolls movie came out! Honestly, I think we’re all in a weird place right now but keep your chin up. We’ll get through this together, one dick joke at a time.
    Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about one of the most enduring mysteries of the modern world. That’s right gang, there’s a place on earth where many things enter and never see the light of day again (*name of my sex tape). We’re talking about the MOTHERF***ING BERMUDA TRIANGLE! Is it really everything it’s all chocked up to be? No, no it is not, but tune in anyway because you knew damn well we didn’t believe in that nonsense.
    The reason the Bermuda Triangle is such a powerful story is because much like all the things that truly scare us, it involves uncertainty. Not only do we not know what will happen when you disappear but you don’t even know if you’ll disappear if you’re unlucky enough to pass through it. It’s like when you were a kid and got in trouble at school. As the principal very thoroughly describes your epic upper-decker in the teacher’s bathroom. You’re sitting there sweating, not worried about getting suspended, you’re worried about what your parents are gonna do to you when you get home. I mean, it doesn’t get more primal than that. The Bermuda Triangle is like a well planned but poorly executed upper-decker… kinda.
    Anyway, we hope you enjoy the show. Also, we hope you pay a visit to our new T-Spring shop to get your official CGS merch. There’s a mug with my mug on it. Buy it, drink your morning coffee out of it while I silently scream at your eggs. Here’s the link: https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal
    Be safe, we love you all.
    Sarge
    *music from www.bensound.com

    • 1 hr 4 min
    Cropsey: Urban Legends, South Sides of Towns, and Coke Pockets

    Cropsey: Urban Legends, South Sides of Towns, and Coke Pockets

    CGS Blog Episode 27
    Cropsey - Urban Legends, South Sides of Towns, and Coke Pockets
    www.Patreon.com/sargethedestroyer
    https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
    Welcome back to the CGS blog. We got a crazy episode for you. It’s got true crime, urban legends, and dick news, like usual. We had a lot of fun recording this one and with any luck, you’re never going to see Newark Airport the same way again. Laura joined us again because frankly, she’s the only mature adult we know.
    Cropsey is a scary topic because it takes all the elements from the urban legends you know and makes them terrifyingly real because the guy from the lunatic asylum is actually stealing kids. There is some speculation as to whether the subject of this show is really a killer or not. We aren’t police, forensic pathologists, or responsible adults so we encourage you to actually watch the documentary entitled Cropsey, listen to our podcast, and then come to your own conclusions. This show was sourced mostly from the documentary and news articles about the story. We hope you like it or at least tolerate it. Have a great week and remember… THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
    Love,
    Sarge

    • 1 hr 9 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
41 Ratings

41 Ratings

Soopah_Troopah ,

Hillarious

Awesome show. If only they would be consistent with posting new episodes

Quantumbeef ,

Great for a laugh! Love these guys

This podcast is informative as it is hilarious. Their spin on history kept me laughing the whole time. I usually don’t find a podcast that’s gold from the very first episode but here it is. Love these guys and I wish I could get drunk with them and have them read me bedtime stories.

SoulfulMDK ,

5-STAR

Maynerd needs more instruments to play during the show...maybe even the soundboard! Either way if you’re not listening to this show on a regular basis then what’s wrong? Who hurt you? Come, sit and listen. You’ll feel better.

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