Closeness

Tari Mannello

How did you first learn to be intimate or sexual with someone else? For most of us, it was a guessing game— a little guidance, lots of trial and error, and the same moves repeated year after year. For others it was what we saw and copied online. But when it comes to real sex, and passionate intimacy— something that we all crave more of, we all crave more of, what we really want, is Closeness. We yearn for the skills to satisfy and be satisfied. The Closeness Podcast is hosted by San Diego’s #1-rated sex and intimacy coach, Tari. He takes you on a provocative and sensual journey through the most forbidden, fascinating, and essential subjects about sex and relationships. From igniting chemistry with your partner and uncovering her hidden pleasure to understanding attraction and arousal, this podcast gives you step-by-step guidance on how to touch, communicate, and connect in actionable ways that truly work. With a unique blend of wisdom, humor, and clear, practical advice, Tari breaks down complex and often uncomfortable subjects into simple insights you can apply right now. Whether you’re navigating emotional pain, longing for deeper intimacy, or looking to turn up the heat with your partner, the Closeness Podcast is your modern guide to sexual education, passion, and connection. Ready to take your intimacy to the next level? Tune-in, listen closely, and discover what’s possible. For more or to schedule real-world coaching sessions (in person or virtual), visit closeness.com

  1. 05/26/2025

    Interview: Is it possible to have an unforgettable One Night Stand?

    It's been a while since we've posted an interview style format so we're bringing it backwith a bang! (So to speak) For regular listeners who are used to relationship oriented sexual material, don't worry there will still be plenty of that in future episodes. But for today's guest, Venus is here explore how to make a one night stand a special and fun experience. Closeness also posts videos on all social media platforms. Follow us on YouTube: YouTube.com/closeness X and Instagram: @closenesscoach TikTok: @IntimacyCoaching Chapters: 0:00 Closeness is now on all social media platforms with videos and shorts 1:55 Introduction to Venus 7:43 Defining what exactly a One Night Stand is 10:55 Does she actually like them 12:45 Is people pleasing an inherently female trait? 14:19 Do you feel obligated to partake? 15:51 Do you like ONS? 16:25 The Kiss tells you everything 18:00 Other ways to tell it will be good 20:18 Is it all about a feeling or attraction or both? 21:38 What to avoid and what does it take to make a great one night stand? 25:27 Reasons why you may not want to do it 28:10 How to know if someone is going to be good or not? 30:48 Not all touch should be taken as an advance 32:55 there are two kinds of great one night stands 33:53 What is the recipe for men? 35:06 When there are fireworks on the dance floor 37:36 What women need to do to prepare for an ONS 40:06 Don't be selfish! 41:14 How do you have a passionate ONS that is connected 42:50 Final thoughts and summing up! Photography by: Dominik Malik

    46 min
  2. 11/14/2024

    What happens long-term when you deprive a woman of sex, intimacy and closeness?

    For a sexual woman, or a woman who enjoys regular sex, nothing feels more devastating than being deprived of intimacy, closeness, and the feeling of being desired. In long-term relationships, this scenario is more common than many realize and can lead to her disconnecting, shutting down and even feeling deeply resentmentful. In this episode, we explore what you can do if you've been neglecting your partner ins this department. The Pain of Feeling Undesired When a woman feels rejected sexually, it’s not just about the lack of physical intimacy—it’s about the emotional toll it takes on her feeling unwanted. She may begin to question her worth, her attractiveness, and even the relationship itself. A hug and a peck hello won't be enough to salvage it.  Meaningful actions and effort are needed to make her feel truly wanted but more so in the sensual and sexual sense. The Initiation Paradox Many men struggle to initiate intimacy, while many women hesitate to take the lead for fear of being judged or feeling rejected themselves. This “initiation paradox” creates a frustrating stalemate that slowly erodes sexual connection. A woman’s sexual expression often mirrors what her partner inspires in her; if she feels ignored or undesired, her sensuality can wither. To move things forward, it’s essential to break this cycle by understanding her emotional needs and taking intentional steps to get that chemistry back. Questions to Ask Yourself If intimacy has stalled in your relationship, it’s time for some tough self-reflection. Effort is sometimes too strong of word, but are you putting in the effort or energy to make her feel desired? Are you addressing your own low libido or other barriers to connection? If you’re in a sexless or low-sex relationship, ask yourself whether this is a dealbreaker—or if you’re willing to put in the work to change the dynamic. Recognize that women still crave intimacy and fantasize about passion, even if the spark has dimmed in their own relationship. This emotionally charged episode goes deep into the challenges of intimacy deprivation and offers actionable advice for reigniting connection and restoring balance. Ready to Come Closer? Listen now for insights on how to overcome mismatched libidos, rebuild desire, and create a more fulfilling relationship. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on intimacy and connection.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS 0:00 Introduction 5:12 Disperate sex drives and libidos 8:35 Why can't women just initiate themselves? 9:35 Female Nature 12:27 No man wants a starfish. No woman wants someone who doesn't desire her 13:14 The initiation paradox 14:55 Words vs Actions 16:26 Men find it hard to initiate when 19:06 For things to work, women need to offer these secret ingredients 23:42 Mens false promises? 24:40 This is how it looks when a woman feels undesired 25:52 A hug and kiss is not the bare minimum 26:50 Damage control due to lack of promises 30:32 For men with low sex drives / libidos 38:00 If you can't imagine the previous recommendations, ask yourself these hard questions 44:30 Is lack of sex a deal breaker for you or your partner? 47:45 Understanding mens issue with too much consent 51:41 Understanding why your wife doesn't initiate now even though she used to 53:00 A woman is only as sexual as you will allow or inspire her to be 54:10 Even in a sexless marriage, women still fantasize and want sex and intimacy 57:20 How to get help with this right now 58:44 Outro

    1 hr
  3. 09/23/2024

    How to inspire a woman to FEEL sexy and sexual towards you

    How to Inspire a Woman to Feel Sexy and Sexual TOWARDS you. This episode of Closeness is a game-changer for anyone looking to create deeper sexual chemistry with their female partner. You may think your parter is sexy when you look at her or think she is sexy enough all on her own, but, can you make her feel sexy and sexual when she’s with you? This is a totally different story. There’s a world of difference between a woman feeling good about herself in general as a woman, and her feeling those hot and spicy feelings towards you. If you want to elevate your relationship both in and out of the bedroom, this episode is for you. Men often think it’s a woman’s job to be sexual and sexy: expecting their partner to bring all the heat while changing nothing about themselves. But the truth is, inspiring sexual energy starts with you, as a man. Physical touch isn’t the only way to spark attraction—it’s about eye contact, your masculine energy and presence, confidence, and being intentional in how you show desire. When a woman feels you’re fully present and genuinely interested in her, she’s more likely to feel that electric chemistry. Stop Waiting for Her to Do All the Work Many men expect women to initiate intimacy or keep the spark alive, often lamenting how she “used to be” but isn’t anymore. This mindset misses the mark. The beginning phases of the relationship have, for many, been gone for quite some time. We evolve and grow over time. Women can and should do their part to maintain healthy sex and intimacy in the relationship, but you must lead the charge. When women feel guided and safe in your presence, they’re more likely to relax into their sexuality and let go. Practical Tips to Build Connection  Your sexual gaze—how you look at her—can ignite feelings of attraction almost instantly. And if you want her to feel sexy with you, speak up! Let her know what turns you on, and maybe get comfortable with adding some toys to your repertoire.  A woman’s desire isn’t sparked by accident—it’s cultivated through your words, actions, and energy. Ready to Come Closer? Learn how to inspire your partner to feel sexy and sexual with you. For more insights on intimacy, passion, and connection, tune into The Closeness Podcast or visit Closeness.com. Chapters: 0:00 Intro 4:45 It's not only about physical touch 8:20 Men think it's their partners job to be sexy 8:44 Men want all the sexiness from her while changing nothing about themselves 13:55 Only women can get away with existing 15:05 Women have their own work to do 17:45 Men think women should initiate out of nowhere 20:45 She used to be this way but no longe is 22:00 Wearing lingerie 25:10 Intro to being the director 32:15 Being specific 35:35 Speak up! 41:15 Women get a little woozy when they're submissive 43:15 No half assed leading allowed 46:05 Often women don't even know what is sexy or what is sexy to you 48:30 Toys! 55:29 Eye contact

    1h 1m
  4. 04/06/2024

    13 Easy to fix roadblocks that are keeping you from having sex right now… and what to do about them

    In this episode, we tackle 13 common barriers that can stand in the way of a thriving sexual connection with your partner. Whether it’s logistical issues, bad timing, or emotional disconnection, these roadblocks can quietly chip away at intimacy. The good news? Every one of these obstacles can be addressed easily, paving the way for better connection, desire, and satisfaction. It’s Not Just About Desire—It’s About the Setup Sometimes, logistics are the real problem. Are there too many pillows on the bed creating a barrier to even touch? Is your couch too small or your bed too uncomfortable for sex to happen? Even practical issues like pets sleeping on the bed or family members out staying their welcome can disrupt your ability to connect. It's easy to create a space that feels inviting, private, and comfortable. A lock on the door, rearranged furniture, or a cozy setup can work wonders. From Platonic to Passionate Another common roadblock is behaving too much like a platonic friend. If you’re not making sensual or sexual gestures beyond a quick peck or a hand on her shoulder—it’s hard to shift the energy toward intimacy. Sensual or sexual gestures need to happen on the regular. Women crave and need progressions that build tension and desire, so don’t just stop at a hug. Small, intentional actions, like lingering eye contact, touch, or even flirting, help reignite the spark and move you closer to a meaningful connection. In this episode you'll learn much more about how to act in a way that really gets her attention.  Timing and Effort: Make It Count Sex in long-term relationships requires effort—it won’t always feel spontaneous or like it happens on its own. Interestingly, women will constantly criticize a man’s “bad timing” without initiating intimacy themselves or letting him know what good timing actually is. Don't worry, we'll talk about that too. Good timing is actually a skill you can develop together. Steady progress with visible changes Intimacy is a journey, not a switch you flip that stays on forever. Don’t rush in expecting your partner to feel ready after minimal or no effort. Small progressions—playful teasing, seductive gestures, lingering touch, or shared laughter—lay the groundwork for deeper sexual connection. By addressing these roadblocks and taking thoughtful, intentional steps, you can transform your relationship and bring passion back into the bedroom. Ready to Come Closer? Learn how to identify and overcome the barriers standing between you and a more fulfilling sex life. Tune in now, and visit Closeness.com for more insights on intimacy, connection, and desire.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS: 0:00 Introduction 3:42 1:Logistics 8:03 The three categories of affection 11:33 Logistical problem 1a: Your furnishings 13:37 Logistical problem 1b: Lovers can't find the time 14:12 2. Family, extended family and kids 15:58 3. No locks on your doors 18:30 4. The zoo that lives with you 19:57 5. Energy 22:35 Not wanting to. Needing it to feel natural 29:25 7. You're not there emotionally 32:01 8. She shuts down emotionally, feels defeated and broken 36:04 9. Your timing is off! 43:40 Often women don't even know what bad timing is 46:05 10. Pressure 50:36 11. Not putting yourself in your partners shoes (empathy and understanding) 54:15 12. Too many broken promises 56:50 13. Not making small progressions towards sex

    1h 2m
  5. 12/12/2023

    What to do with an extra horny wife or girlfriend...when your libidos are mismatched

    Ah the case of the extra horny wife! What to do when your wife or girlfriend has a high sex drive and you’re struggling to keep up? This episode looks at one of the biggest challenges in relationships today. Whether you’re dealing with mismatched drives, low libido, or confusion about how to take the lead, this episode gives you actionable tips to handle the situation with confidence and connection. Understanding the Problem When a woman has a higher sex drive than you, frustration and discouragement can creep into the relationship. Sometimes, men have a low libido, feel shy, or simply don’t know how to initiate intimacy effectively. Lack of experience can also cause this situation to worsen even more so.  Sometimes a man thinks he’s giving it his all in the bedroom,  but it will often read as a paltry attempt by his female partner and often still falls short of what his partner craves. Understanding this gap is key to bridging it—and it starts with being present, proactive, and a willingness to learn and take action as a man. Take the Lead—Action Over Consolation If your partner looks discouraged or unfulfilled, don’t wait for her to spell it out. And especially if she's frustrated sometimes, consoling her isn’t the solution... but seducing her may be. As a man, it’s essential to take action in suggestive and often sexual ways that she can read to show her that you desire her. Women often want their partner to lead with confidence and passion, and waiting for her to guide the experience, take the lead or show interest, can cause disconnection. Your willingness to take the initiative not only meets her needs but also deepens your connection. The Role of Authentic Attraction Here’s the hard truth: if you’re not physically attracted to your partner or genuinely desire her, the imbalance in your sex drives will only worsen. Authentic desire and attraction is critical for intimacy when it flows from a man to a woman. Otherwise you both are going to feel like you're doing her a favor.   While you can’t change your own libido drastically, you can work on fostering finding ways that you find her attractive.   If you're a man used to doing grand gestures and showing her how much she means to you with fancy trips and gifts, this strategy may need to be revised. Remember, your sexuality and you desire for her in this dynamic is what she finds exciting. Yes, your needs and your sexuality matters too, but if you’re not engaged, the relationship may struggle to thrive. This episode also sheds light on an often-overlooked dynamic: that women can and do pressure men for sex. For men navigating this challenge, knowing that it really is ok to say no is huge. But if you tell someone no all the time, there is something much deeper going on. Ready to Come Closer? Learn how to confidently navigate mismatched libidos, seduce with intention, and bring passion back into your relationship. For more tips and insights, visit Closeness.com.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this 2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there 3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her 5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend 11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you 15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply 15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive 17:45 What to do if she looks discouraged 21:30 She doesn't know what to do but you DO 25:24 When men get discouraged or don't understand what to do 27:35 Your sexuality matters too - but if you don't desire her you're in trouble 29:35 In search of answers... 30:22 If you don't authentically desire her, you'll probably blow it 35:40 You really can't change someone's desire, libido or sex drive too greatly 37:34 It turns out your sex drive does matter too 41:40 Women actually pressure men to have sex too... 46:02 Final thoughts, summary and wrap up   Image by Racool_studio on Freepik

    50 min
4.9
out of 5
128 Ratings

About

How did you first learn to be intimate or sexual with someone else? For most of us, it was a guessing game— a little guidance, lots of trial and error, and the same moves repeated year after year. For others it was what we saw and copied online. But when it comes to real sex, and passionate intimacy— something that we all crave more of, we all crave more of, what we really want, is Closeness. We yearn for the skills to satisfy and be satisfied. The Closeness Podcast is hosted by San Diego’s #1-rated sex and intimacy coach, Tari. He takes you on a provocative and sensual journey through the most forbidden, fascinating, and essential subjects about sex and relationships. From igniting chemistry with your partner and uncovering her hidden pleasure to understanding attraction and arousal, this podcast gives you step-by-step guidance on how to touch, communicate, and connect in actionable ways that truly work. With a unique blend of wisdom, humor, and clear, practical advice, Tari breaks down complex and often uncomfortable subjects into simple insights you can apply right now. Whether you’re navigating emotional pain, longing for deeper intimacy, or looking to turn up the heat with your partner, the Closeness Podcast is your modern guide to sexual education, passion, and connection. Ready to take your intimacy to the next level? Tune-in, listen closely, and discover what’s possible. For more or to schedule real-world coaching sessions (in person or virtual), visit closeness.com

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