Coffee and Coaching

Bernhard Kerres
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Coffee & Coaching is an espresso, not a seminar. Each week, Bernhard Kerres explores difficult conversations leaders avoid—and why practicing matters more in the age of AI. Bernhard is an executive coach, founder of RolePlays.AI, and went from opera singer to tech CEO to Silicon Valley founder. He coaches executives at Henkel, PwC, and Strategy&, and teaches at London Business School. Leaders perfect slide decks but wing conversations that matter. Performance reviews. Restructuring. Feedback to high performers. Short. Intense. Actionable. www.bernhardkerres.com | www.roleplays.ai

  1. 5D AGO

    Do AI Tools Kill our Ability to Connect?

    I love building AI tools. But I'm worried we're forgetting how to connect on a human level. This episode is about presence, encounter, and why most leaders never practice the skill that matters most. THE 20:20:20 RULE (from Jacob Barnes / Simple Revolution): First 20 steps: How you enter the room. Bernhard practices his keynote entrances—wooden floor? Squeaky? How does it sound? Enter with full presence. First 20 seconds: NOT about talking. Taking in the room. Creating the bond. Finding 3-5 people to "play the room." First 20 words: Know them by memory. "If I wake you at 3am and say 'start your keynote,' you need to be able to say them." Everything else flows from there. YALOM'S WISDOM: Irvin Yalom (existential therapist, fiction writer—"When Nietzsche Wept," "The Schopenhauer Cure"): "The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help." Not fixing. Not solving. Just creating space where someone can reveal themselves. And that takes practice. THE POWER OF SILENCE: Bernhard shares a coaching breakthrough: The client couldn't make business decisions. Brilliant at pros/cons lists. Would create 4th and 5th options rather than deciding. The silence revealed: Fear. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of not being enough. "Suddenly, the silence brought us to the core." JAPANESE WISDOM FOR COUPLES: When in disagreement, sit for 3 minutes and look each other in the eye, then start discussing. "Like eternity. Really difficult. But fantastic." THE VIKTOR NOVÁK SCENARIO: Imagine giving feedback to Viktor—52, Czech, 9 years at an NGO. Blocking grant applications. Missing deadlines. Paralyzed by fear. What you don't know: Wife chronically ill for 3 years. Daughter in university. Supporting an aging mother. Can't afford to lose this job. When he asks, anxious, "Am I in trouble?"—can you hold that moment? Can you stay present when he's terrified? Most leaders can't. Because they've never practiced. WHAT PRESENCE LOOKS LIKE: Specific evidence, not judgment: "3 applications pending 4 months" NOT "You're risk-averse"Impact without blame: "When applications stall, partners lose trust," NOT "You're hurting the mission."Create space: "What's been happening for you?" Actually listen.Hold the discomfort: Stay present when they're afraid. THE PRACTICE GAP: Musicians practice before stage. Olympic athletes train before competition. Pilots simulate emergencies. Leaders? We wing the difficult conversations. WHY ROLEPLAYS.AI: Practice Viktor's anxiety. His defensive excuses. The moment you have to balance safety and accountability. Not because the AI conversation is the destination. But because when you're with the REAL Viktor, you're ready to be present. THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: One conversation. Practice presence. 20:20:20 before you enterHold silence when they're uncomfortableDon't rush to fix. Just be there.Try the Viktor scenario FREE at www.roleplays.ai Remember: The practice prepares you. The real conversation is still yours. ALSO MENTIONED: Bernhard's "Private University" was built on Claude (AI)EU requirement: AI training for all employees who use AILou Salomé (Freud's muse, Rodin's muse—"probably inspired Freud for psychotherapy")Graz keynote: 2 minutes of silent eye contact = "most uncomfortable situation ever"#Presence #Leadership #Coaching #DifficultConversations #Yalom #Practice

    20 min

  2. FEB 2

    Why Even the Best Musicians Practice Daily (And Why Leaders Don't)

    In this episode, Bernhard Kerres shares insights from an unexpected meeting with 30-40 banking executives who just completed an orchestra leadership workshop. Their biggest takeaway? Even world-class musicians practice daily—but leaders rarely rehearse difficult conversations. Plus: Why the PR2 Framework matters, what to do when your opera co-star doesn't sing her lines, and why AI can't replace consultants in high-stakes meetings (yet). Bernhard's leadership framework is based on his opera background: Prepare - Understanding the wider ecosystem, project context, and company environmentRehearse - Working efficiently with your team within strict time limits (like 3-hour orchestra rehearsals with one 20-minute break)Perform - Authoritative leadership when it counts (example: when the house is on fire, you can't discuss feelings)Reflect - The hardest part as you move up in hierarchy; requires people who give you well-founded feedback, not just praise LINKS: RolePlays.AI - www.roleplays.ai (free feedback scenario available)Onlettvint - www.onlettvint.com (Feedback framework partner) If you run leadership workshops or training programs: Orchestra leadership workshops available (contact Bernhard)RolePlays.AI scenarios can be customized for your organizationFree feedback scenario available for trialReach out: www.bernhardkerres.comThis Week's Challenge:Before your next difficult conversation (feedback, performance review, objective setting): Identify what makes it difficultActually practice it once (even just talking through it)Notice the differenceTry It: Visit www.roleplays.aiTry the free feedback scenarioPractice a conversation you've been avoidingBernhard Kerres is an executive coach, founder of RolePlays.AI, and the first opera singer to become a C-level executive of multi-million Euro tech companies. He was the only artistic director of a world-leading concert house to bring his startup to Silicon Valley. Based in Vienna, Austria, he coaches executives at firms like Henkel, PwC, and Strategy&, and teaches at London Business School. More at: www.bernhardkerres.com LinkedIn: Connect with Bernhard KerresHashtags: #CoffeeAndCoaching #Leadership #Practice #RolePlaysAI #DifficultConversations Leadership, Executive Coaching, Difficult Conversations, Practice, Feedback, Performance Reviews, Orchestra Leadership, PR2 Framework, AI in Consulting, Banking Leadership, Situational Leadership, RolePlays.AI Key Takeaway: Even world-class performers practice daily. When's the last time you rehearsed a difficult conversation?

    11 min

  3. JAN 26

    Why I'm Still Taking Risks at 60 (And Why You Should Too)

    #Roleplace.ai, #coaching, #AI, #difficultconversations, #entrepreneurship, #personalgrowth, #consulting, #leadership, #feedback, #technology In this episode of Coffee & Coaching, Bernhard Kerres discusses his journey in creating ⁠RolePlays.ai⁠, a platform designed to help individuals practice difficult conversations using AI personas. He reflects on his diverse career, the challenges of scaling coaching, and the importance of practicing feedback conversations in a world increasingly influenced by AI. Bernhard shares his personal experiences, including the anxiety and excitement of entrepreneurship at nearly 60, and emphasizes the need for human interaction in consulting, especially when dealing with complex strategies and client relationships. Takeaways Building ⁠RolePlays.ai⁠⁠ is a personal risk at almost 60.Practicing difficult conversations is essential for leaders.AI can assist but cannot replace human interaction.Feedback conversations are crucial in every industry.The balance of anxiety and joy is part of entrepreneurship.AI's role in consulting raises questions about learning.Difficult conversations require practice and preparation.The future of consulting may depend on human skills.Roleplace.ai aims to enhance the quality of conversations.

    15 min

  4. JAN 19

    Can You Get a Second Date? (Why We Built an AI to Find Out)

    Key Topics: - Bernhard's California first date disaster - Arthur Aron's 36 Questions to Fall in Love - Why first date skills = leadership conversation skills - Meet Marcus (guarded divorcé) and Maya (curious nomad) - The verdict: Would they want a second date with you? Key Insights: - A first date is really just one question: Can we have a real conversation? - Most people fail first dates for the same reasons they fail work conversations - The skills that work differ by person: Marcus needs safety, Maya needs genuine curiosity - If you can pass the first date test, you can handle difficult conversations anywhere Links: - Try the first date scenario FREE: www.roleplays.ai - Learn more about Bernhard: www.bernhardkerres.com - Arthur Aron's 36 Questions: Search "36 questions to fall in love NYT" Hashtags: #firstdate #valentinesday #conversations #dating #communication #coffeeandcoaching Call to Action: Sign up at RolePlays.AI and try the first date scenario for free. See if you can get a second date from Marcus or Maya. Let Bernhard know how it went!

    14 min

  5. JAN 12

    The OKR Conversation Nobody Practices (But Everyone Needs)

    In this episode, Bernhard Kerres discusses the challenges and importance of effective conversations in the implementation of OKRs (Objectives and Key Results). He reflects on his experiences as a CEO and coach, emphasizing that the failure of OKRs often stems from inadequate conversations between managers and their teams. The episode highlights the need for practice in these conversations to ensure alignment and focus, ultimately driving better results. Bernhard introduces a new tool designed to help managers rehearse these critical discussions, making the case that understanding the theory of OKRs is not enough without the ability to engage in meaningful dialogue. Key Topics: Why OKRs fail (it's the conversation, not the framework)Bernhard's OKR failure as CEO (trusted too much, didn't challenge enough)The five patterns that make OKR conversations difficultWhy practicing with AI that pushes back prepares you for real conversationsThe 30-minute challenge: Why this scenario takes real time and real skill- How to adapt the scenario to your company's actual OKRs Key Insights: OKRs fail when managers approve weak Key Results to avoid conflictThe conversation requires challenging people without demotivating themMost managers have never practiced pushing back on activity-based OKRsJanuary is when these conversations happen—practice before they go liveEach persona conversation takes 30 minutes because real coaching takes time Links: Practice OKR conversations: www.roleplays.ai or https://roleplays.ai/s/BpMSFqCJ6MMHLearn more about Bernhard: www.bernhardkerres.comAdapt the scenario to your company: Contact us at office@bernhardkerres.com #OKRs #leadership #goalsetting #management #difficultconversations #performancemanagement #coffeeandcoaching

    18 min

  6. 12/14/2025

    The Need for Creativity

    In this episode of Coffee & Coaching, Bernhard Kerres discusses the impact of AI on our lives and the importance of integrating technology into education and coaching. He emphasizes the need to embrace technology, particularly AI, as a tool for accessing knowledge and enhancing our daily lives. Bernhard also highlights the unique human ability to think outside the box and the role of music and creative practices in fostering this skill. He encourages listeners to engage in daily creative exercises to unlock their potential and improve their problem-solving abilities. Find out more about Bernhard Kerres on www.bernhardkerres.com. Takeaways AI is transforming how we access knowledge and information.Technology is an integral part of our future and won't disappear.AI excels in specific subject areas but struggles with broader connections.Humans have the unique ability to think outside the box.Engaging with music can enhance creative thinking skills.Learning an instrument can improve cognitive abilities.Daily creative exercises can significantly impact problem-solving.Writing by hand fosters creativity and self-expression.AI is effective for specific tasks but lacks human intuition.Meta-thinking is a skill that develops with experience. Sound bites "Technology is always there to stay." "AI is brilliant to think inside the box." "Writing by hand is a great start." #coaching #ai #artificialintelligence #execed #training

    13 min

  7. 12/08/2025

    Dumb LLMs - The Limitations of AI

    In this episode of Coffee & Coaching, Bernhard Kerres explores the use of AI in coaching, highlighting his own tool, Coach Bernhard. He underscores the significance of maintaining high-quality AI responses by using content derived from his personal coaching resources. Bernhard critiques generic AI tools for often providing subpar information and argues for adopting specialized AI applications that draw from credible, authoritative sources. Here is a link to the tools, Bernhard mentioned: Coach Bernhard, an executive coaching AI chatbot based on Bernhard's teaching materials and aligned with the ICF criteria: www.coach-bernhard.aiRolePlays.AI, a platform to practice challenging conversations around various topics: www.roleplays.aiAsk Bernhard, a mentoring and guidance AI chatbot for classical musicians: www.ask-bernhard.comFind out more about Bernhard and Bernhard Kerres & Friends on www.bernhardkerres.com! #AI, #coaching, #chatbot, #mentoring, #largelanguagemodels, #digitaltools, #executivecoaching

    8 min

  8. 11/30/2025

    Mozart Eats AI for Breakfast

    In this conversation, Bernhard Kerres explores the intersection of creativity, leadership, and artificial intelligence through the lens of Mozart's work. He emphasizes that while AI can enhance efficiency and mimic creativity, it lacks the human elements of passion, emotion, and purpose that drive true innovation. By drawing parallels between Mozart's creative process and modern leadership, Kerres argues that culture and creativity are essential for meaningful impact in any endeavor. Find out more about Bernhard Kerres on www.bernhardkerres.com.

    11 min
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About

Coffee & Coaching is an espresso, not a seminar. Each week, Bernhard Kerres explores difficult conversations leaders avoid—and why practicing matters more in the age of AI. Bernhard is an executive coach, founder of RolePlays.AI, and went from opera singer to tech CEO to Silicon Valley founder. He coaches executives at Henkel, PwC, and Strategy&, and teaches at London Business School. Leaders perfect slide decks but wing conversations that matter. Performance reviews. Restructuring. Feedback to high performers. Short. Intense. Actionable. www.bernhardkerres.com | www.roleplays.ai

Information

  • Creator
    Bernhard Kerres
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    68
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Bernhard Kerres
  • Show Website
    Coffee and Coaching