Collaboration over control: Using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

Joining me is Dr. Stuart Ablon, a psychologist, Harvard Medical School professor, founder and director of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and author of several books, including Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work.

Together we explore:

• Why kids’ struggles are more about lagging skills than lack of motivation.

• The importance of empathy, co-regulation, and relationship-building in reducing conflict.

• The 3 “plans” parents can choose from when kids aren’t meeting expectations—and how to use them effectively.

• How Collaborative Problem Solving offers a structured yet compassionate alternative to “tough love” or “gentle parenting.”

• Practical ways to use this approach proactively and in the heat of the moment.

• How practicing this method not only improves behavior, but also fosters resilience, flexibility, and stronger parent–child bonds.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this conversation offers practical tools and a fresh perspective to help you support kids with understanding, structure, and collaboration

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.stuartablon.com/

🔗 https://thinkkids.org/ 

📚 Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work

💻 Tedx Talk 

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@thinkkidscps

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Dr. Ablon has generously shared an amazing parenting resource with us. Visit https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ and use Code: SecurelyAttached to get access to this course for ✨FREE✨ Available in both English and Spanish.

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I’ll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

📚 The Explosive Child: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child’s emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

🎧24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin

🎧06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

🎧318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud