4D AGO

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: What Your Child Is Really Asking for When They Fall Apart — Kathryn de Bruin & Ronda Evans

When your child is at their most dysregulated — melting down, shutting down, pushing you away — the moment they need you most is also the moment it's hardest to be present. Why does that happen? And what does it actually take to become the safe place your child is reaching for? In this episode Michelle sits down with two of the most experienced Emotionally Focused Family Therapy clinicians working with families today. Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, registered Play Therapy Supervisor, and co-host of The Family Therapy Express Podcast. Ronda Evans is an EFT Supervisor, co-host of The Family Therapy Express Podcast, and published children's book author whose books — A Jumble of Thoughts and A Tangle of Feelings and The Big Scary Moment — help families navigate big emotions together in everyday moments. Together, Kathryn and Ronda bring the full depth of Emotionally Focused Family Therapy to a conversation about what children are really communicating when their behavior is at its most challenging — and what parents need to understand about their own internal world to be able to respond with steadiness and connection rather than reactivity. In this episode you'll learn: The core EFFT reframe: why your child's meltdown, power struggle, or withdrawal is an attachment signal — a reaching for you — even when it looks like the oppositeHow the way you were raised shows up in your responses to your child's big feelings — and what shifts when you recognize that patternWhy play is not just a fun activity but a genuine clinical tool for healing and strengthening the parent-child bondWhat Ronda's children's books offer families in the ordinary moments of everyday life — and what happens between parent and child when they read them togetherWhat a genuinely resilient and connected family looks like — and the signs you're moving toward it even when it doesn't feel that wayWhat Kathryn and Ronda would say to the parent who keeps missing the moments that matter and can't seem to get there when it countsTopics: Emotionally Focused Family Therapy · EFFT · Emotionally Focused Therapy for families · child attachment · attachment parenting · parent-child connection · child meltdowns · big emotions in children · emotional regulation for parents · play therapy · children's books about emotions · parenting triggers · gentle parenting · peaceful parenting · conscious parenting · family resilience · parent burnout · connection over control · parenting shame Guests: Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT — ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer & Play Therapy Supervisor 🌐 kathryndebruin.com Ronda Evans, LMFT — EFT Supervisor & Children's Book Author 📚 A Jumble of Thoughts and A Tangle of Feelings· The Big Scary Moment 🌐 re2therapy.com 🎙️ The Family Therapy Express Podcast — find it wherever you listen 🎓 Ready to go deeper? Yelling to Connecting — Michelle's 7-week online parenting course helps you find and uproot the real blocks keeping you stuck so you can respond to your kids with more calm, more connection, and less shame. ✨ Free Guided Pause + Regroup: [your link] 🌐 compassionateheartmindfullife.com This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services. Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

49 min

MAY 15

Peaceful Parenting: How to Handle Gamer Rage Calmly (Replay)

Gaming battles can quickly turn into fear, yelling, and power struggles—but underneath it all is often a parent trying deeply to protect their child. In this replay episode, Michelle explores how fear impacts our nervous system, why gaming feels so compelling for kids, and how peaceful parenting helps us respond with calm, connected boundaries instead of panic and control. Listen the full replay episode of “How to Calmly Respond When Gaming is a Constant Fight?” on Compassionate Heart Mindful Life. Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

24 min

MAY 7

How to Parent Through Divorce Without Losing Connection

If you’ve ever worried that a hard season in your family may have impacted your relationship with your child… this episode will give you real hope. Today, we’re talking about something most parenting conversations avoid: what actually happens to the parent-child relationship during major life transitions like divorce. I’m joined by therapist, speaker, and founder of the Center for Growth and Connection, Michelle Cantrell, who shares both her professional insight and deeply personal experience of going through a gray divorce after nearly 30 years of marriage—while parenting her adult daughters. Inside this conversation, we explore: How to stay emotionally connected to your kids during divorceThe difference between being honest and oversharingWhy “getting it wrong” doesn’t damage your relationshipHow repair (not perfection) builds secure attachmentWhat to do when your child is in pain and you want to fix itHow self-compassion changes everything in parentingThis episode is for any parent who: Feels guilt about how they’ve shown upIs navigating divorce or a major life transitionWonders if it’s “too late” to repair connectionThe truth? It’s not. Connection can deepen—even through the hardest seasons. 🎧 Subscribe & share with a parent who needs encouragement 💬 Leave a review to help more families find this message Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

38 min

APR 30

Your Parent Guilt Is Not Evidence You're Failing — Here's What It's Really Telling You"

Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why. Parent guilt is one of the most universal experiences in parenting — and one of the most misunderstood. In this episode, Michelle makes a distinction that could change everything: guilt about a specific behavior — I yelled this morning and I wish I hadn't — is healthy and informative. But the chronic, low-grade guilt most parents carry — the constant sense of never being enough, always falling short — is something different entirely. Michelle shares the story of the Sunday morning she almost went to yoga, didn't, and ended up resentful — and the moment she realized her guilt was quietly running the show in a way that was hurting her and her family. She walks through exactly what chronic parent guilt is really signaling, why fear is usually underneath it, and how to use a simple inquiry practice to turn guilt from a punishment into a compass. In this episode you'll learn: - Why the most guilt-ridden parents are often the most devoted ones - The guilt-to-resentment cycle — and how to break it - The three things chronic guilt is almost always pointing to: an unmet need, a violated value, or grief for the parent you hoped to be - The guilt inquiry practice: 3 steps to get curious instead of consumed - How to read guilt as data rather than verdict Topics: parent guilt · mom guilt · dad guilt · parenting shame · parent burnout · self-compassion for parents · parenting anxiety · gentle parenting · emotional regulation for parents · Brené Brown · peaceful parenting · conscious parenting · parenting and emotions · emotionally focused family therapy Want to learn with Michelle: Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully. There was just one problem. It felt impossible at times. When my kids were small, I was easily overwhelmed. Not only did I find it difficult to parent peacefully or playfully, but also I found myself in an awful yelling pattern. I climbed my way out of parent burnout, depression, and anxiety using the tools I share here. I help parents find th Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

16 min

APR 23

The Hidden Truth of Tantrums with Helena Mooney

Does your child’s yelling, crying, or intense meltdowns leave you feeling overwhelmed and unsure? In this episode, we sit down with Helena Mooney, a certified Hand in Hand and Aware Parenting coach, to flip the script on "bad behavior". We dive deep into the science of emotional release and why "pretexts"—like a meltdown over a pink plate—are actually healthy opportunities for healing. Helena shares practical tools for reactive parenting, including the "listening partnership" for parents and why simple games like hide-and-seek are powerful for separation anxiety. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to "stay steady" when your child falls apart.The difference between "fixing" a tantrum and providing a "safe container".Why play bypasses the prefrontal cortex to help with anxiety.How to use the "Connect, Connect, Connect" mantra in the heat of the moment. Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

53 min

APR 16

Why You Can’t “Fix” Your Emotions (another way)

"I’ll give you something to cry about." Most of us grew up with messages telling us that our emotions were problems to be solved or inconveniences to be hidden. Even as a seasoned therapist, I fell into the trap of trying to "muscle through" my toughest parenting moments—until it led to total burnout. In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a personal story of losing my cool and finding my way back through the RAIN practice. We explore why your emotions aren't something to be fixed, but something to be heard. We cover: The "Tunnel of Emotion" and why we can't skip the middle.Why "trying harder" to be calm usually backfires.How to use self-compassion as a nervous system regulator.A modified RAIN practice for parents (including the power of Interconnectedness).Reflection Question: What if the emotion you are trying to fix is actually trying to tell you something important? Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

21 min

APR 9

The Surprising Truth About Self-Compassion

"If I stop criticizing myself, I’ll just stop trying." If you’ve ever felt like self-compassion is just "letting yourself off the hook" or lowering the bar for your parenting, this episode is for you. Michelle (EFT Therapist) challenges the dangerous myth that self-criticism is a motivator. Drawing on 15 years of clinical work and the latest research, she reveals why shame actually keeps you frozen in the very patterns you’re trying to break. In this episode, you’ll learn: The Accountability Paradox: Why self-compassion actually increases responsibility and motivation.The RAIN Practice: A "therapy session in your pocket" to use in the heat of a parenting meltdown.Emotional Distance: How naming your feelings moves you from being "swept away" by the storm to watching it with clarity.The Antidote to Shame: How to use the "Common Humanity" tool from Dr. Kristin Neff to realize you aren't the only one struggling.Self-compassion isn't a way to excuse your behavior; it’s the only way to change it. Whether you follow Hand in Hand Parenting or are deep into your own EFT journey, this episode provides the practical "how-to" for treating yourself with the same warmth you offer your children. Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

14 min

APR 2

The Lie We Were All Told About 'Negative' Emotions

Do you ever feel an immediate wave of shame the moment you feel angry at your kids? In this episode, Michelle (Emotionally Focused Therapist) pulls apart the dangerous myth that "good parents" don't feel rage, resentment, or despair. Discover why your most painful emotions are actually vital messages from your nervous system—not evidence of failure. Michelle shares her personal journey from the bathroom floor to a place of "calm and connected" using the science of mindfulness and self-compassion. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we were taught to fear our own "negative" emotions.How to use Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion Break" in the heat of a parenting moment.A step-by-step practice to interrupt the stress-yell-shame pattern.How to build new neural pathways through curiosity and kindness. Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting. You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day. A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.” If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity. I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area. __________________________________________ ...

30 min

Compassionate Heart Parenting

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: What Your Child Is Really Asking for When They Fall Apart — Kathryn de Bruin & Ronda Evans

Peaceful Parenting: How to Handle Gamer Rage Calmly (Replay)

How to Parent Through Divorce Without Losing Connection

Your Parent Guilt Is Not Evidence You're Failing — Here's What It's Really Telling You"

The Hidden Truth of Tantrums with Helena Mooney

Why You Can’t “Fix” Your Emotions (another way)

The Surprising Truth About Self-Compassion

The Lie We Were All Told About 'Negative' Emotions

Ratings & Reviews

About

Information

Compassionate Heart Parenting

Episodes

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: What Your Child Is Really Asking for When They Fall Apart — Kathryn de Bruin & Ronda Evans

Peaceful Parenting: How to Handle Gamer Rage Calmly (Replay)

How to Parent Through Divorce Without Losing Connection

Your Parent Guilt Is Not Evidence You're Failing — Here's What It's Really Telling You"

The Hidden Truth of Tantrums with Helena Mooney

Why You Can’t “Fix” Your Emotions (another way)

The Surprising Truth About Self-Compassion

The Lie We Were All Told About 'Negative' Emotions

Ratings & Reviews

About

Information