Complex Couples Podcast

Heidi Applegarth
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Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.

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  1. 6시간 전

    I Just Want You to Want Me: The Hidden Desire Killers in Marriage

    In this episode, Heidi explores the tension between emotional closeness and sexual desire in long-term monogamous relationships, especially within mixed-orientation marriages. After sharing a personal story from early in her own journey, she dives into the deeper question: What actually fuels attraction – and what quietly kills it? Heidi outlines four common “desire killers” that often show up in marriages where partners feel disconnected, tolerated, or unsure about attraction. In This Episode Why attraction matters deeply in mixed-orientation marriages The difference between being tolerated and being genuinely desired Why you cannot control whether someone is attracted to you How systems resist change (homeostasis) when you begin shifting your behavior The 4 Desire Killers: Dependence or Emotional RelianceWhen your sense of worth depends on your partner’s validation, desire erodes. Differentiation — standing on your own two feet while staying connected — is key. AccommodationOver-accommodating and giving yourself up in the name of love often destroys self-respect and mutual respect. One-Up / One-Down DynamicsParent-child patterns, power struggles, or subservience undermine equality — and equality fuels desire. Too Much ClosenessSmothering kills the flame. Desire requires space, freedom, and individuality. Heidi challenges listeners to consider where they may be pressuring, controlling, or seeking validation — and invites them to experiment with change from the inside out. This Week’s Invitation Notice where you may be trying to control your partner instead of working on yourself. Choose one area where you can increase your differentiation and experiment with showing up differently. Connect Have questions?Have a story to share? Share your story with me here: complexcouplescoaching.com/questions If you need further help with this, this is the work that I do and I’m passionate about.If you’d like to learn more, I created a Free Guide called "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." You can download it here.  Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Your emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone.

    14분

  2. 4일 전

    Creating Space for Mixed-Orientation Marriages: Now There’s A Booth for You - Debut Episode

    In this debut episode of The Complex Couples Podcast, I share my personal story of being married for 18 years when my husband disclosed that he was attracted to men.  I talk about the disorientation, the fear, the questions, and the conflicting messages I encountered. And all while in a marriage and family program. Most importantly, we explore a question you may be quietly asking: Do I have to end my marriage because of this? This episode introduces the purpose of this podcast: creating a space, what I like to call a “booth”, for couples who don’t feel like they fit neatly anywhere. In This Episode, We Talk About: The moment my husband came out and what it felt like The immediate questions that flooded my mind: If he’s attracted to men, can he still be attracted to me? Is he staying for the kids? Is he staying because of religion? Am I a burden to him? The conflicting cultural messages about mixed-orientation marriages Why I didn’t want to automatically assume divorce was the only path What actually makes marriages thrive (and why ours was not an exception) The importance of choice in marriage Why language around sexuality can feel triggering and how not to let it block growth Why triggers can act as lighthouses for growth You deserve a place where your marriage has room. You deserve tools and information so you can confidently decide what you want. This podcast is not about forcing you to stay. It’s not about forcing you to leave. It’s about helping you: Understand what makes relationships work Learn what facilitates desire in marriage Reduce dependence on your relationship for your personal happiness Make informed, empowered choices This Week’s Invitation Treat your marriage with the same care you would give any other relationship you believed had real romantic potential. And see what happens. Connect Have questions?Have a story to share? Share your story with me here: complexcouplescoaching.com/questions If you need further help with this, this is the work that I do and I’m passionate about.If you’d like to learn more, I created a Free Guide called "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." You can download it here.  Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com Your emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone.

    16분

  3. 시즌1 예고편

    Welcome to Complex Couples Coaching with Heidi Applegarth

    Hello and welcome to the Complex Couples Podcast! I'm Heidi. I'm a couples therapist and relationship coach specializing in mixed orientation marriages and mixed gender identity relationships.  Whether you're just discovering this reality, or you've been on this journey for a long time.  This is the space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter.  Let's dive in. Connect Have questions?Have a story to share? Share your story with me here: complexcouplescoaching.com/questions If you need further help with this, this is the work that I do and I’m passionate about. If you’d like to learn more, I created a Free Guide called "When Your Spouse Comes Out 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." You can download it here.  Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.comYour emails help shape future episodes. You don’t have to face this alone.

    23초

예고편

소개

Welcome! This is a space where your marriage matters, your values matter, and your choices matter. I’m Heidi, a couples therapist and founder of Complex Couples Coaching. I help couples navigate complex marriages, especially where mixed-orientation, desire discrepancies, attraction changes, or mixed gender identity play a role. My goal is to help you see your relationship clearly and make decisions rooted in integrity rather than fear. Learn to navigate complicated issues so you can make choices and thrive in whatever choice you make. Join me as I share insights about marriage that specifically apply to your situation. I’ll walk you through complicated issues such as: • What to do when your husband or wife comes out as gay, bisexual or trans • Whether mixed-orientation marriages can thrive or just merely survive • How attraction works and if you have to give it up if you want to stay married • Loss of desire in long-term marriage and how to get it back • Navigating high-conflict situations in a way that increases self-respect • Working through feelings of resentment • Rebuilding trust after emotional betrayal or secrets Subscribe and join a community of people committed to allowing marriage to shape them into better humans.

정보

  • 제작진
    Heidi Applegarth
  • 방송 연도
    2026년
  • 에피소드
    3
  • 등급
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  • 저작권
    © 2026 2026
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    Complex Couples Podcast