Compost

The Composter
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One woman’s musings on the experience of life and the not-so subtle art of turning shit to gold. To quote Mary Oliver, “Pay attention, Be amazed, Tell about it.”

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    33 - Re-emergence

    After the winter hibernation/reset. How losing my voice became a “pause to notice”. How I’m diving into ‘where am I willing to do something for someone else’? And perhaps more importantly WHERE AM I NOT? How our cultural conditioning blinds us to where we are not willing… and how to notice it? Slow down, pay attention to sensation, and trust it!

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    32 - Asking isn’t manipulation

    How I felt that I couldn’t ask for what I want because that included an assumption to the other that in some way I **needed** them to be different. How I have learned that by NOT asking for what I want, I am actually withholding necessary information to the other which prevents me being able to connect with them. And how hard it is to change a lifetime of conditioning/patterns!

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    31 - Contribution v cause

    How I’ve spent my life thinking I’m to cause/blame for things that can’t possibly be my fault (and lots that can!). How I had to travel to “no one ‘makes’ anyone feel anything” to find the paradox between - where I can see I can contribute (both helpfully, and less so) but that I am not Cause. How the Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin has helped.

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    30 - Consent is conditional, Love is not

    How my conditioning taught me to equate “yes” with love, and “no” with no-love! What does life look like now I understand a bit more how unconditional love is?

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    29 - The Right to Someone Else’s Attention

    This is a theme that has been brewing for a while - why have I believed I had a right to someone’s attention? How have I been repeatedly tripped up by feeling someone else had the right to mine?

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    28 - Empathy or Compassion?

    My musings on empathy as most people think of it (which can be a side effect of people pleasing), and compassion. Why does compassion feel different to me? How does it help me where empathy doesn’t?

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    27 - Unsolicited Advice

    How has unsolicited advice impacted me? How does it land for you? Recognising what’s mine and what’s not mine when people “gift” me their opinion.

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    26 - Conflict Resolution

    How learning to recognise what’s mine and what’s not mine has expanded my ability to be neutral around any disagreement. How acknowledgement and reparation are KEY to healing disconnection, disagreements and differences of opinion. Reparation means I can improve upon a relationship after each ‘glitch’ rather than simply soothing my own wounds.

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حول

One woman’s musings on the experience of life and the not-so subtle art of turning shit to gold. To quote Mary Oliver, “Pay attention, Be amazed, Tell about it.”

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  • صناع العمل
    The Composter
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    © The Composter
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    Compost