Dear folks of Baba, In the chapter on “Changing Our Address”, Darwin discusses at length the provisional ego recommended by Baba as a means of bypassing our ego, that small, limited self that hides our wholeness, our inherent divinity. Putting the provisional ego into practice is profoundly challenging and elusive, but it is where we are ultimately heading. How do we get there? What are the intermediate steps? Here is how Baba describes what He means by the provisional ego (provisional meaning temporary, a substitute arranged for the time being only): “Think of me in everything you do. Eat, dance, but forget yourself in the action and think of me instead. This is union through action. The less you think of yourself and the more you think of Baba, the sooner the ego goes and Baba remains. When you — ego —go entirely, I am one with you. So, bit by bit, you have to go. Today your nose, tomorrow your ears, then your eyes, your hands, everything. “Think of me when you eat, sleep, see and hear. Enjoy everything, but think it is all Baba. Baba enjoys it. Baba is eating it. Sleep soundly in Baba, and when you wake up remember it is Baba getting up. Keep this one thought constantly with you. If you do wrong, then think it is Baba doing wrong. If you get a pain, think it is Baba getting a pain. Then it will be all the time Baba ... Try to forget yourself and do all for Baba. Let it be Baba all the time!” For those on the path of self-effacement, the provisional ego is the final practice in annihilating the ego. It usually begins as an exercise, but ultimately the truth behind the provisional ego will be revealed in us through experience. That is, the provisional ego is useful as a method, but it has to eventually become a reality. In lifetime after lifetime, we identify with the character before us and are pulled into the whole illusion of Creation. What we are being asked to do is to remain fully aware of Creation and express love, but not identify with anything in it. Baba has said that we are really infinite, but we identify with the mind, and instantly we become a person! If we didn’t do this, we would remain the Infinite that we really are. All this is a very tall, tall order from Baba. Bit by bit, we have to go. We are not really our roles; we are really Baba in disguise. Kitty Davy would often quote this line from the Bible, “… I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” What I found most difficult to reconcile in the practice of the provisional ego is Baba’s statement: “When you do wrong, then think it is Baba doing wrong.” That initially seemed like giving us a blank check to do anything. In spite of my wholehearted efforts to think of everything as being done by Baba, it took over a decade for this to begin to be real for me. I remember Eruch saying one day in Mandali Hall on this subject, “The moment you take credit for doing anything, the whole provisional ego collapses like a house of cards.” Too often my reaction to some of the selfish things I would do was just too intense to blame it on Baba and the provisional ego! I would have to go back again to the drawing board and start the practice all over again. Here is an exchange that took place years ago that was profoundly helpful to me as a valuable intermediate step leading toward practicing the provisional ego. I was in Mandali Hall in Meherazad, and I said to Meherwan Jessawala, one of the mandali, “I have tried Baba’s practice of the provisional ego over the years, sometimes for months on end, but I’ve never been able to make it stick. I do it for a while, and it is very helpful but then it somehow unravels and I don’t keep it up. It becomes more of a mental exercise rather than an actual experience. What do you suggest I do?” Meherwan looked at me very intently and said, “Try this. When you wake up in the morning, say to Baba, 'Come with me as I begin my day.' When you have breakfast, say, 'Baba, join me for breakfast.' When you go to work, say, 'Baba, come with me to work. Be with me when I come home.' When you have to piddle, say to Baba, 'Come with me. I have to piddle.' This was the perfect answer to where I found myself inwardly at the time—the perfect intermediate step. He was suggesting to me to first be more grounded in Baba’s companionship, He and I, before attempting to practice the provisional ego, a very tall order! I said to Meherwan, “What you have suggested is plan B until I’m ready for plan A.” He smiled at that and said, “Yes!” In following this practice, there comes a sense more and more that Baba is actually the doer and we are the witness. An unexpected transition gradually takes place where it seems that Baba is orchestrating everything, that He is behind the unfolding of our day, a day definitely full of more love than if we were actually in charge. What challenges have you faced in trying to put the provisional ego into practice? In His love, Jeff (or shouldn’t it be Baba?)
