Coregulation Conversations

Sarah Histand
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Semiweekly

Exploring nervous system regulation, somatics, strength, and our relationship with nature to build capacity, connection, and possibility.

  1. Skillful Reality Testing: Getting the Timing Right

    4d ago

    Skillful Reality Testing: Getting the Timing Right

    In this episode, I continue the conversation from the previous episode by exploring the companion skill to meeting and matching: reality testing. Reality testing is often thought of as a cognitive process — reminding ourselves what’s true or finding a more accurate perspective. But in this episode, I explore how reality testing can also be deeply somatic, helping the body take in what is actually happening through the senses. Using a very Alaskan example involving fresh bear scat on a hiking trail, we walk through the importance of timing: why reality testing tends to work better after we've acknowledged and allowed the initial wave of activation, rather than trying to talk ourselves out of it immediately. We also explore how orienting, sensory awareness, and noticing present-day resources can help the nervous system recognize that a stressful experience is over and that safety is available now. This episode is an invitation to bring a little more patience, awareness, and embodiment into the way you work with fear, stress, and nervous system activation. Timestamps 00:00 — Introduction to reality testing 01:00 — The relationship between meeting & matching and reality testing 02:00 — A fresh bear scat example 03:00 — Noticing the body's initial response 04:00 — Why we don't want to skip the first wave 05:00 — Timing: feeling before reframing 06:00 — Orienting to where you actually are right now 07:30 — Resources, support, and present-day safety 08:30 — Activation → settling → perspective shift 10:00 — Bringing the senses into reality testing 11:00 — River crossing example: helping the body catch up 12:00 — Letting the body notice what's true now 13:00 — Cognitive and somatic reality testing working together 14:00 — The deep breath at the end of a cycle 15:00 — Closing reflections Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    16 min
  2. Meet + Match: A Coregulation Strategy

    Jun 15

    Meet + Match: A Coregulation Strategy

    Show Notes In this short Somatic Snack, I explore the concept of meeting and matching — a powerful nervous system skill for supporting someone who is moving through stress, fear, or activation. Drawing from the teachings of my mentor, Carmen Spagnola, I share how meeting and matching helps us join someone in their experience without amplifying it. Rather than immediately reassuring, fixing, or talking someone out of what they're feeling, we first communicate: "Yes, I see you. What you're experiencing makes sense." We explore how this works in practice, why nervous systems respond so strongly to feeling understood, and how bringing just a little less activation than the other person can create a pathway toward settling and regulation together. This episode is an invitation to experiment with a simple but powerful relational skill that can deepen connection and help people feel truly seen. Timestamps 00:00 — Introduction to meeting and matching 00:45 — The Mother Duck workshop connection 01:15 — Learning from Carmen Spaniola 01:45 — Supporting someone through activation 02:15 — Packrafting example: fear before a rapid 02:45 — Why reassurance isn't always the first step 03:15 — Meeting and matching before reality testing 04:00 — Holding activation and safety at the same time 05:00 — "Wicked yes" and validating experience 05:45 — Matching with slightly less intensity 06:15 — Helping nervous systems settle together 06:45 — The practice and power of co-regulation 07:10 — Closing reflections Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    7 min
  3. Connecting With The World

    Jun 4

    Connecting With The World

    Show Notes In this episode, I continue reflecting on my recent trip to Colombia and explore the idea of connecting to the world as a resource. Recording from a warm summer walk in Alaska, I share how the landscapes, people, and relationships that emerged through several years of teaching in Colombia have become a source of support and perspective in my own life. We explore the ways that connection to land, mountains, oceans, and expansive spaces can help us hold big emotions and create a greater sense of spaciousness in the nervous system. From there, I reflect on another kind of connection: remembering that there are caring, creative, and deeply committed people doing meaningful work all around the world. In times when news cycles and global events feel overwhelming, this perspective has become an important resource for me. This episode is an invitation to explore what happens when we widen our view—connecting not only with the natural world, but also with the larger web of people, places, and communities that remind us we’re not carrying everything alone. Timestamps 00:00 — Summer in Alaska + introducing the topic 01:30 — Reflections from teaching in Colombia 03:00 — Mountains, place, and nervous system connection 05:00 — A guided pause: connecting with beauty and landscape 07:30 — When life feels bigger than your body can hold 09:00 — Nature as witness, support, and spaciousness 11:00 — How connection to place can shift nervous system states 12:00 — The “spider web” of connection across the world 13:00 — Remembering the helpers and healers 14:00 — Connecting with people doing meaningful work 15:00 — Resource practice: bringing supportive people to mind 16:00 — Tracking what happens in the body 17:00 — Widening perspective during difficult times 18:00 — Closing reflections + invitation to connect with the world Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    17 min
  4. Getting Out of Our Bubble + The Somatics of Difference

    Jun 4

    Getting Out of Our Bubble + The Somatics of Difference

    Show Notes In this episode, I record from a steep trail in the Chugach Mountains while reflecting on a recent trip to Colombia and the ways travel can expand our perspective. We explore the somatics of difference — specifically the difference between experiences that feel threatening or stressful to our nervous systems and the kinds of differences that feel exciting, nourishing, and life-giving. Through stories from Colombia, I reflect on how encountering different ways of moving through the world can help us step outside our assumptions and widen our understanding of what’s possible. Along the way, we practice noticing how the body responds to different kinds of change: the kind that makes us brace and the kind that invites curiosity, delight, and connection. We also explore the nervous system’s natural process of orienting to something new and how awareness of those subtle responses can help us relate to difference with more flexibility and openness. This episode is an invitation to get curious about your body's response to novelty, difference, and change—and to notice where there may be opportunities for expansion, delight, and learning. Timestamps 00:00 — Recording from a mountain trail + introducing the topic 02:30 — Returning from Colombia + supporting a Somatic Experiencing training 05:00 — The value of perspectives outside our own 07:00 — Difference as something beautiful, not just threatening 09:00 — Polarization, media, and anticipating stress 12:30 — The nervous system's response to difference 14:30 — Colombian culture, dancing, and celebration 17:00 — Practice: noticing “good” difference in the body 18:30 — Practice: noticing “not fun” difference in the body 20:00 — Pendulating between challenge and resource 22:00 — Nature as a resource for exploring change 24:00 — Bringing the practice into relationships 26:00 — Noticing the stages of a nervous system response 27:00 — Startle, orienting, and scanning for safety 28:00 — Opening to experiences that feel safe and supportive 29:00 — Closing reflections + invitation to explore Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    30 min
  5. Still Shaken After the Scare

    May 21

    Still Shaken After the Scare

    Show Notes In this episode, I respond to a thoughtful question that came out of The Art of the Mother Duck workshop Luc and I recently taught on nervous system skills in outdoor recreation and group dynamics. We explore what happens after a stressful or overwhelming experience outdoors — when the body continues carrying activation, fear, or protective responses long after the moment itself has passed. I walk through why these responses are normal, how the nervous system learns quickly around threat and survival, and the ways intense experiences can leave behind incomplete survival responses that continue showing up when we return to similar situations. From there, we explore some practical ways to support the body through this process: orienting to safety cues, resourcing, co-regulation, pendulation, and titrating slowly back into challenge. I also talk about the importance of patience when capacity feels smaller than it used to — and how rebuilding trust with the body often happens through small, successful experiences over time. This episode is an invitation to approach nervous system healing with more compassion, more slowness, and a deeper understanding of what your body is trying to do for you. Timestamps 00:00 — Introduction + walking in the woods 01:00 — Reflecting on The Art of the Mother Duck workshop 03:30 — The listener question: what happens after intense experiences? 04:30 — Prevention vs. response in nervous system work 06:00 — It’s normal to be impacted by intense experiences 07:30 — The nervous system as a fast learner around threat 09:00 — Fight, flight, freeze, and the “panic zone” 10:00 — Completing survival responses 12:00 — When experiences land as growth vs. overwhelm 13:00 — Interrupted cycles + incomplete responses 14:30 — Why some activation stays stuck in the body 15:00 — Somatic therapy + completing survival cycles 16:00 — Returning to activities after scary experiences 17:00 — Orienting, resourcing, and co-regulation 19:00 — Pendulation: activation + safety together 21:00 — Lowered capacity after overwhelm 22:30 — Titration + rebuilding trust slowly 23:00 — Whitewater story: feet in the river as the right first step 24:00 — Giving the body small successful experiences 25:00 — Learning safety takes time too 26:00 — Closing reflections Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    27 min
  6. Somatic Snack: For the Busy Times

    May 14

    Somatic Snack: For the Busy Times

    Show Notes In this episode, I introduce a new summer series format: Somatic Snacks — shorter, more focused episodes exploring practical nervous system tools for real life. Recording from a spring walk in Anchorage, I reflect on the seasonal shift into busier, brighter, more activated rhythms — and the nervous system challenges that can come with high-capacity seasons. From there, we explore how to stay tethered to ourselves while moving through periods that require sustained activation. Together, we practice noticing the sensations of “busy season” in the body and experiment with bringing awareness to something grounding or pleasurable at the same time. We also explore the importance of micro-pauses and tiny moments of down-regulation throughout the day — especially during transitions, after completing tasks, or when approaching overwhelm. This episode is an invitation to work with activation instead of against it, and to build nervous system practices that support sustainability during full and meaningful seasons. Timestamps 00:00 — Spring in Alaska + migratory birds 01:00 — Summer travel + seasonal nervous system shifts 03:00 — Introducing “Somatic Snacks” 05:00 — Invitation for future topics + listener questions 06:20 — Busy seasons + sustained activation 08:00 — The “accordion” metaphor for nervous system work 09:00 — Noticing the sensations of activation 11:00 — Being with activation without changing it 11:30 — Pendulation: activation + resource together 12:40 — “Playing harmony” vs. going back and forth 15:00 — Can the body be activated and okay? 16:00 — Presence, stress, and metabolizing activation 18:00 — Activation as fuel instead of overwhelm 18:40 — The importance of micro-breaks 19:30 — Feeling completion + satisfaction 20:00 — Transition moments + threshold awareness 21:30 — Examples of micro-pauses and resets 22:30 — Building new neural pathways through repetition 23:00 — Presence, pleasure, and nervous system shifts 24:00 — Closing reflections + practice invitation Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    25 min
  7. Practice: A Slow Walk

    May 7

    Practice: A Slow Walk

    Show Notes In this episode, I invite you on a slow walk practice — an exploration of pace, nervous system regulation, and what becomes available when we intentionally downshift. We begin with a story from a recent neighborhood walk, where someone commented on how slowly I was moving — and how differently that landed in my body than it might have in the past. From there, we explore the idea that slowness isn’t “better” than speed, but that many of us live in cultures and nervous systems that are deeply conditioned toward urgency and fast pacing. Together, we experiment with slowing down physically and noticing what shifts: awareness, sensation, breath, attention, pleasure, discomfort, and connection to the environment around us. Along the way, I offer reflections on nervous system range, inner critic healing, and the importance of finding your own pace rather than performing someone else’s. This episode is an invitation to get curious about rhythm, pressure, and what your body might want if there was nowhere to be and nothing to achieve. Timestamps 00:00 — Introduction + invitation to slow walk 01:00 — The “Art of the Mother Duck” class announcement 04:30 — Early spring in Alaska + the story behind this episode 05:20 — “You’re walking so slow” 06:30 — Slowness, nervous system range, and cultural pacing 07:30 — Inner critic healing + trusting your own pace 08:50 — Beginning the slow walk practice 10:00 — Settling into a slower rhythm 11:00 — Feeling feet + contact with the ground 12:30 — Letting your feet choose the pace 13:00 — Slowness is not morally superior 14:00 — Activation, exercise, and learning to slow down 15:00 — “Your pace is sacred” 16:00 — Bringing awareness to ankles, knees, and hips 18:00 — Expanding attention into the environment 19:00 — Sights, sounds, smells, and air on the skin 20:30 — Checking in with your current pace 21:30 — Releasing pressure + achievement 23:00 — Noticing what happens in the body 23:30 — Discomfort with slowness + nervous system learning 25:00 — What becomes available at a slower pace? 26:30 — Closing reflections Resources:    Learn more about and sign up for The Art of the Mother Duck here! Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    27 min
  8. How to Know When to Say No (and Yes) Outside with Julia Sowaska

    May 3

    How to Know When to Say No (and Yes) Outside with Julia Sowaska

    Show Notes In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and fellow somatic practitioner, Julia Sowaska, for a conversation about how our relationships with outdoor adventure have evolved alongside our nervous system work. We reflect on our early days in outdoor recreation — how belonging, fear of disconnection, and identity shaped our choices — and how those patterns sometimes led us into situations that weren’t actually aligned with our capacity. From there, we explore what’s changed. As we’ve built more self-trust and nervous system awareness, both of us have shifted how we approach risk, challenge, and decision-making. We talk about learning to recognize internal signals, developing access to a true “no,” and how that opens the door to more grounded, authentic “yeses.” We also touch on adventure-related trauma, how life stress impacts perceived risk, and the common experience of feeling pulled between a yes and a no in real time. This episode is a reminder that nervous system work doesn’t take you away from adventure — it brings you closer to yourself, and from that place, your choices become clearer and more aligned. Timestamps 00:00 — Introduction + meeting Julia 03:00 — From adventure to somatic work 06:30 — Early patterns: belonging + fear 10:30 — Risk, disconnection, and self-abandonment 15:30 — Building self-trust + self-compassion 20:00 — Co-regulation + relational healing 26:00 — Shifting relationship to risk 31:00 — Returning to challenge with more capacity 35:30 — “What changed?” vs. “what’s wrong with me?” 40:00 — Trusting signals + adjusting expectations 42:00 — Accessing a true “no” 45:00 — Boundaries without over-explaining 48:00 — Navigating mixed yes/no signals 55:00 — Does this work change how you adventure? 01:00:00 — Becoming more yourself 01:03:00 — Closing Julia's Bio: Julia Sowaska is an Adventurer Priestess who has spent her life pursuing adventure and connection with the Divine and Great Mystery. Through exploration of the outer terrain of Mother Earth, she finds deeper connection and meaning in the inner terrain of her spirit and psyche. She is a life coach in private practice, supporting people around the world, primarily in the realm of relationships, as well as supporting folks with adventure trauma or renegotiating their relationship with adventure and the outdoors to be more in alignment with their authentic selves. She is currently living as a digital nomad in Europe and embarking on a 2-year experiment of, "What happens if you live life by the compass of following your highest excitement everyday - and what does that mean when we 'have to' do certain things to survive?"  Resources:  Check out Julia's website here. Submit your questions for the Q&A [here] Photos and links from this episode:www.mindandmountain.co/podcast

    1h 5m
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Exploring nervous system regulation, somatics, strength, and our relationship with nature to build capacity, connection, and possibility.

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