Coupled With...

Dr. Rachel Orleck
  • 5.0 (15)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship should make more sense, you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place. Coupled With… is the podcast for driven, capable, and analytical humans who crave connection, but keep getting stuck in the same relationship patterns. Whether you're overthinking every conversation, caught in another conflict loop, or feeling undervalued despite all your effort—this show is here to help. Join Dr. Rachel Orleck, a licensed psychologist and couples therapist, as she breaks down why relationships get messy (even when you’re trying your best), how perfectionism shows up in love, and what it really takes to feel seen, special, and important by your partner. Through honest solo episodes, expert interviews, and zero “just communicate better” advice, Coupled With… gives you the clarity, tools, and insight to create a relationship that actually works for you. Because connection doesn’t come from getting it perfect—it comes from getting real. Subscribe and tune in to new episodes every Monday!

  1. 3D AGO

    When Love Slowly Cools: The Hidden Work of Staying Close

    You didn’t wake up one day hating each other. It was quieter than that. In this episode, we explore why connection doesn’t hold itself — and how even strong, loving relationships can drift into distance without anyone doing anything “wrong.” Because here’s the truth: Closeness responds to attention. And when attention shifts to survival, performance, logistics, and competence… intimacy cools. Not dramatically. Gradually. In this episode, we break down: Why “we don’t even fight” can still mean you’re drifting apartHow your nervous system tracks subtle shifts in safety before your mind doesThe two common directions couples move when closeness fadesThe difference between panicked over-functioning and steady tendingA low-bar, practical rhythm that keeps connection warm without turning it into a full-time job If your relationship feels more like quiet embers than bright flame, this episode will help you understand what’s happening — and how to shift it before it becomes a verdict. Because nothing may be “wrong.” You may just need to tend the fire. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it. [Start...

    17 min

  2. FEB 9

    Micro Moments That Make Love Feel Safe Again

    If you’re trying harder than ever to make your relationship feel safe again, this episode is for you. Many couples don’t struggle because they don’t care. They struggle because they keep reaching for closeness through coping—more talking, more explaining, more fixing—only to feel more exhausted and disconnected. In this episode, we explore why safety isn’t rebuilt through intensity or insight, and why your nervous system can’t trust one-off gestures or conversations that require you to minimize your own needs. You’ll learn: Why “working on the relationship” often becomes a continuation of copingHow problem-solving, explaining, and emotional effort can escalate the cycleWhy the nervous system trusts patterns, not performancesWhat micro-moments of care actually look like—and why they matter more than big talksHow safety can grow even when things don’t feel fully resolved or “good” Love doesn’t become safe again all at once. It becomes safer through small, repeatable moments that show care without requiring self-abandonment. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it. [Start here] Disclaimer This...

    20 min

  3. FEB 2

    Why Emotional Closeness Feels Harder Than It Should

    We’re taught that emotional closeness should feel easy, natural, and reassuring—especially in the “right” relationship. So when closeness starts to feel heavy, awkward, or strangely hard, people don’t get curious. They panic. They wonder: What’s wrong with the relationship?What’s wrong with me?Did I choose the wrong partner? In this episode, we dismantle one of the most damaging myths about love: that emotional closeness should be effortless and constant. You’ll learn: Why difficulty with closeness doesn’t mean incompatibility or failureHow nervous systems experience closeness as both connection and riskWhy some people chase intimacy while others pull away—and why both make senseThe difference between intensity and sustainable intimacyHow healthy relationships move between closeness, distance, and repair without panic Emotional closeness isn’t a permanent state you achieve and maintain. It’s something real relationships build, lose, and rebuild over time. If closeness has felt harder than you expected—even in a relationship that looks “good on paper”—this episode offers relief, clarity, and a much kinder frame. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short...

    22 min

  4. JAN 26

    When Your Relationship Is the Emotional Center — and Everything Feels Exhausting

    Every year, couples promise to communicate more, check in more, and be more intentional. And yet—many of them feel more exhausted than connected. In this episode, we unpack a misunderstood dynamic I see constantly in my work: when a relationship becomes the emotional center without enough felt security underneath it. You’ll hear why: More communication doesn’t always create more closenessEmotional effort can actually increase nervous system strainSecure relationships can carry stress, conflict, and misattunements—without collapsingExhaustion is often a signal of missing safety, not missing care If your relationship feels like it’s always “under review,” or if every miss feels heavy and urgent, this episode offers a grounding reframe. Not less closeness. Not less effort. More security—so the relationship can hold what you’re asking it to hold. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it. [Start here] Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client...

    17 min

  5. JAN 19

    The One Habit that Changes every Conversation

    You practiced what you were going to say. You chose calmer words. You tried to do it “right.” And somehow… the conversation still went sideways. In this episode, we unpack why conversations don’t derail because of what you say—but because of how you enter them. If you’ve ever: Walked away replaying a conversation with regretFelt yourself snap into defensiveness or shut down mid-talkWondered why the same arguments keep ending the same way This episode will land. We explore how your nervous system sets the emotional stage before the first sentence is spoken—and why trying harder with communication often backfires when your system is already braced. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why regret and blame are two exits from the same nervous-system responseHow “autopilot entry” quietly hijacks conversationsWhy state matters more than skill in relational momentsThe small but powerful shift that creates choice, space, and different outcomes This isn’t about perfect communication. It’s about stopping the emotional reenactment before it starts. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from

    21 min

  6. JAN 12

    January Distance Isn’t Disconnection

    Every January, there’s a strange emotional quiet that settles in. The holidays end, routines restart, and suddenly the connection you expected to feel with your partner just… isn’t there. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck explains why that quiet doesn’t mean your relationship is drifting — and why January distance is usually nervous system recovery, not rejection. You’ll learn how holiday overload impacts connection, why your body needs time to recalibrate, and one simple question that helps you respond to distance without spiraling or over-interpreting. This is a grounded, compassionate reframe for anyone who feels confused, numb, or off with their partner at the start of the year. In This Episode, We Cover: Why January often feels emotionally flat or distantThe difference between depletion and disconnectionHow nervous systems recover after holiday intensityWhy space isn’t the same as abandonmentOne simple orienting question to guide reconnection Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it. [Start here] Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is

    9 min

  7. JAN 5

    The Smallest Way to Bring Connection Back

    Coming back from a break — a holiday, a vacation, or even a few quiet days — can leave your relationship feeling a little… off. Not broken. Just fuzzy. Disconnected. Like you lost the thread. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck busts the myth that January requires a big relationship reset or a serious “state of the union” talk. Instead, she offers a gentler, nervous-system-friendly reframe: connection doesn’t come from effort or overhauls — it comes from attention. You’ll learn why your body craves small, safe moments of presence after time away, and you’ll walk away with one simple sentence that helps you re-orient toward connection without forcing anything. This episode is an invitation to stop working harder — and start noticing again. In This Episode, We Explore: Why feeling disconnected after a break is completely normalThe January myth that your relationship needs a “reset”How attention (not effort) rebuilds connectionWhy your nervous system prefers small, digestible momentsOne powerful micro-intention to anchor your week Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it. [Start...

    9 min

  8. 12/15/2025

    What Real Connection Looks Like in the New Year

    The end of the year can make even strong relationships feel tender, tense, or disconnected. In this episode, Rachel explains why December amplifies whatever is already under the surface — not because anything is wrong, but because your nervous system is tired, overloaded, and scanning for closure. She breaks down how “emotional audits” form, why pressure kills connection, and what real intimacy looks like when capacity is low. You’ll also learn a simple one-sentence “micro-bridge” to help you feel more connected heading into the new year. What We CoverWhy the holidays amplify longing, tension, and unfinished repairsHow “emotional audits” quietly reshape DecemberWhy capacity drops long before love doesHow misfires and misreads intensify end-of-year disconnectionThe difference between engineered intimacy and grounded connectionA one-sentence micro-bridge for real closeness in the new year Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Free Training | Why Love Feels Like Too Much: A 10-minute video that explains why you spiral in relationships — and the 3-question nervous system reset to interrupt it.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State. And if you’re tired of replaying conversations at 2am… My private audio series When Love Feels Like Too Much is the guided version of this work. Five short episodes. Companion Workbook. Nervous system resets you can actually use in the moment. This is where we move from understanding the cycle to interrupting it. [Start here] Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes...

    17 min
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Trailer

5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship should make more sense, you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place. Coupled With… is the podcast for driven, capable, and analytical humans who crave connection, but keep getting stuck in the same relationship patterns. Whether you're overthinking every conversation, caught in another conflict loop, or feeling undervalued despite all your effort—this show is here to help. Join Dr. Rachel Orleck, a licensed psychologist and couples therapist, as she breaks down why relationships get messy (even when you’re trying your best), how perfectionism shows up in love, and what it really takes to feel seen, special, and important by your partner. Through honest solo episodes, expert interviews, and zero “just communicate better” advice, Coupled With… gives you the clarity, tools, and insight to create a relationship that actually works for you. Because connection doesn’t come from getting it perfect—it comes from getting real. Subscribe and tune in to new episodes every Monday!

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Rachel Orleck
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    45
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Dr. Rachel Orleck
  • Show Website
    Coupled With...