Coupled With...

Dr. Rachel Orleck
  • 5.0 (15)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship should make more sense, you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place. Coupled With… is the podcast for driven, capable, and analytical humans who crave connection, but keep getting stuck in the same relationship patterns. Whether you're overthinking every conversation, caught in another conflict loop, or feeling undervalued despite all your effort—this show is here to help. Join Dr. Rachel Orleck, a licensed psychologist and couples therapist, as she breaks down why relationships get messy (even when you’re trying your best), how perfectionism shows up in love, and what it really takes to feel seen, special, and important by your partner. Through honest solo episodes, expert interviews, and zero “just communicate better” advice, Coupled With… gives you the clarity, tools, and insight to create a relationship that actually works for you. Because connection doesn’t come from getting it perfect—it comes from getting real. Subscribe and tune in to new episodes every Monday!

  1. 3D AGO

    When Your Relationship Is the Emotional Center — and Everything Feels Exhausting

    Every year, couples promise to communicate more, check in more, and be more intentional. And yet—many of them feel more exhausted than connected. In this episode, we unpack a misunderstood dynamic I see constantly in my work: when a relationship becomes the emotional center without enough felt security underneath it. You’ll hear why: More communication doesn’t always create more closenessEmotional effort can actually increase nervous system strainSecure relationships can carry stress, conflict, and misattunements—without collapsingExhaustion is often a signal of missing safety, not missing care If your relationship feels like it’s always “under review,” or if every miss feels heavy and urgent, this episode offers a grounding reframe. Not less closeness. Not less effort. More security—so the relationship can hold what you’re asking it to hold. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    16 min

  2. JAN 19

    The One Habit that Changes every Conversation

    You practiced what you were going to say. You chose calmer words. You tried to do it “right.” And somehow… the conversation still went sideways. In this episode, we unpack why conversations don’t derail because of what you say—but because of how you enter them. If you’ve ever: Walked away replaying a conversation with regretFelt yourself snap into defensiveness or shut down mid-talkWondered why the same arguments keep ending the same way This episode will land. We explore how your nervous system sets the emotional stage before the first sentence is spoken—and why trying harder with communication often backfires when your system is already braced. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why regret and blame are two exits from the same nervous-system responseHow “autopilot entry” quietly hijacks conversationsWhy state matters more than skill in relational momentsThe small but powerful shift that creates choice, space, and different outcomes This isn’t about perfect communication. It’s about stopping the emotional reenactment before it starts. Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    20 min

  3. JAN 12

    January Distance Isn’t Disconnection

    Every January, there’s a strange emotional quiet that settles in. The holidays end, routines restart, and suddenly the connection you expected to feel with your partner just… isn’t there. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck explains why that quiet doesn’t mean your relationship is drifting — and why January distance is usually nervous system recovery, not rejection. You’ll learn how holiday overload impacts connection, why your body needs time to recalibrate, and one simple question that helps you respond to distance without spiraling or over-interpreting. This is a grounded, compassionate reframe for anyone who feels confused, numb, or off with their partner at the start of the year. In This Episode, We Cover: Why January often feels emotionally flat or distantThe difference between depletion and disconnectionHow nervous systems recover after holiday intensityWhy space isn’t the same as abandonmentOne simple orienting question to guide reconnection Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    7 min

  4. JAN 5

    The Smallest Way to Bring Connection Back

    Coming back from a break — a holiday, a vacation, or even a few quiet days — can leave your relationship feeling a little… off. Not broken. Just fuzzy. Disconnected. Like you lost the thread. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck busts the myth that January requires a big relationship reset or a serious “state of the union” talk. Instead, she offers a gentler, nervous-system-friendly reframe: connection doesn’t come from effort or overhauls — it comes from attention. You’ll learn why your body craves small, safe moments of presence after time away, and you’ll walk away with one simple sentence that helps you re-orient toward connection without forcing anything. This episode is an invitation to stop working harder — and start noticing again. In This Episode, We Explore: Why feeling disconnected after a break is completely normalThe January myth that your relationship needs a “reset”How attention (not effort) rebuilds connectionWhy your nervous system prefers small, digestible momentsOne powerful micro-intention to anchor your week Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    7 min

  5. 12/15/2025

    What Real Connection Looks Like in the New Year

    The end of the year can make even strong relationships feel tender, tense, or disconnected. In this episode, Rachel explains why December amplifies whatever is already under the surface — not because anything is wrong, but because your nervous system is tired, overloaded, and scanning for closure. She breaks down how “emotional audits” form, why pressure kills connection, and what real intimacy looks like when capacity is low. You’ll also learn a simple one-sentence “micro-bridge” to help you feel more connected heading into the new year. What We CoverWhy the holidays amplify longing, tension, and unfinished repairsHow “emotional audits” quietly reshape DecemberWhy capacity drops long before love doesHow misfires and misreads intensify end-of-year disconnectionThe difference between engineered intimacy and grounded connectionA one-sentence micro-bridge for real closeness in the new year Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    16 min

  6. 12/08/2025

    When Holidays Trigger Old Wounds

    In this episode, we unpack why the holidays can make even the most self-aware adults feel like they’ve time-traveled back into childhood. From old roles to nervous system reflexes, Rachel explains how your body responds to family cues long before your logical brain catches up — and why that doesn’t mean you’re failing. She also offers simple, doable practices to help you stay connected to yourself instead of getting swept back into survival mode. What We CoverWhy you “regress” around family (hint: you’re not regressing — you’re reenacting)How your nervous system recognizes old cues from childhoodWhy holidays amplify pursue/withdraw patternsThe difference between bracing and being presentHow to interrupt old roles with tiny, compassionate shiftsA simple pre- and post-gathering check-in to support your system Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    16 min

  7. 12/01/2025

    You’re Not Asking for Too Much: Practicing Safety Instead of Suppression

    You’ve probably told yourself, “I should be fine.” Maybe you learned early on that being easy to love meant needing less. But every time you swallow your needs, perform “fine,” or apologize for being sensitive, your body pays the price. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why emotional needs are not weakness—they’re your nervous system’s way of asking for safety. You’ll learn how suppressing your needs turns into anxiety, resentment, or shutdown, and why your body confuses needing connection with being “too much.” Rachel explains how survival wiring makes self-abandonment feel like safety, and how practicing micro-moments of safety rewires that pattern. Using stories from her practice, she shows what rebuilding safety in relationships actually looks like—not as a performance, but as a practice. If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink to stay loved, this episode will help you understand what your body’s really asking for—and how to meet yourself, and others, with compassion instead of suppression. Key Topics CoveredWhy “I’m fine” is a nervous system defenseHow safety—not silence—regulates your emotionsThe connection between need, shame, and self-abandonmentOver-functioning vs. under-functioning in relationshipsHow to start practicing safety in small, nervous-system-safe momentsWhat it means to rebuild connection through presence, not perfection Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    24 min

  8. 11/24/2025

    Roommates to Lovers Again: Rebuilding the Spark Without Forcing It

    You love your partner, but lately, it feels like you’re just co-managing a life together. The spark that used to feel effortless now feels buried under exhaustion, logistics, and “just getting through the week.” In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleckunpacks what really causes the shift from lovers to roommates — and why it’s not proof that love has faded, but that your nervous system has been in survival mode for too long. Rachel explains how stress, routine, and emotional disconnection suppress desire, why “trying harder” doesn’t reignite chemistry, and how safety — not effort — brings your body back online. Learn how to start reconnecting through small, nervous-system-safe acts of curiosity using her 2% Braver approach, and why desire doesn’t die… it just hides until it feels safe to reemerge. If you’ve ever looked at your partner and wondered where the spark went, this episode will help you see that it’s still there — waiting for both of you to exhale and reach again. Key Topics CoveredThe real reason attraction fades in long-term relationshipsWhy stress, survival, and exhaustion shut down desireThe difference between spontaneous and responsive arousalWhy safety — not spontaneity — is the foundation of intimacyThe “2% Braver” method for rebuilding safety and desireHow micro-moments of presence reignite connection Resources Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

    24 min
See All (42)

Trailer

5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship should make more sense, you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place. Coupled With… is the podcast for driven, capable, and analytical humans who crave connection, but keep getting stuck in the same relationship patterns. Whether you're overthinking every conversation, caught in another conflict loop, or feeling undervalued despite all your effort—this show is here to help. Join Dr. Rachel Orleck, a licensed psychologist and couples therapist, as she breaks down why relationships get messy (even when you’re trying your best), how perfectionism shows up in love, and what it really takes to feel seen, special, and important by your partner. Through honest solo episodes, expert interviews, and zero “just communicate better” advice, Coupled With… gives you the clarity, tools, and insight to create a relationship that actually works for you. Because connection doesn’t come from getting it perfect—it comes from getting real. Subscribe and tune in to new episodes every Monday!

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Rachel Orleck
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    42
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Dr. Rachel Orleck
  • Show Website
    Coupled With...