40 episodes

Helping parents empower their teenage daughters to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life's adventures.

Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast Shawna Warner

    • Kids & Family
    • 5.0 • 15 Ratings

Helping parents empower their teenage daughters to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life's adventures.

    Ep – 39 What Does Your Teenage Daughter Have in Common with Other Teenage Girls?

    Ep – 39 What Does Your Teenage Daughter Have in Common with Other Teenage Girls?

    Hey Parents,
    Is your teenage daughter feeling a bit overwhelmed by ‘all the things’ right now?
    what’s going on around her? how she fits into her world?and how to be okay with missing something?The fear of missing out and the fear of messing up are REAL for teenage girls.
    And seem to be a hot button issue right now.
    Thankfully we’re back to in-person learning here in the US, though, like every new beginning, there are some residual pandemic issues that are still being ironed out. 
    One of the issues I’m hearing a lot about from the teenage girls enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Programis that even though they’re surrounded by their peers, they are feeling socially disconnected and lonely.
    So, I was curious to learn more. 
    Why, even though they are physically together again, and ready for new and deeper relationships, these girls are reporting: 
    a lack of confidence as to how to take the next step and often feel stifled by the fear and uncertainty their efforts won’t be reciprocatedWelcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast where you can find the full show notes and resources at cultivatingresilientteens.com.
    Recap
    Okay, let’s quickly recap today’s key points.
    If your daughter is like most teenage girls, she may be feeling socially disconnected and a bit lonely, even though she’s back to in-person learning.
    The most effective way to begin to build the deeper connection she’s ready for, is to simply be aware of if she’s bringing her past wounds into her present environment and try the 3-2-1 strategy so she can redirect, reconnect and redesign her relationships.
    And, if seeing her struggle this triggering for you, simply recognize that’s a natural response and try asking her what would be helpful in this situation.
    Lastly, please, please, please remember that when you approach ‘all the things’ with the attitude that you’re here to learn, you can’t do this wrong.
    It’s truly about learning and growing together. 
    Until next time, here’s to cultivating a more resilient teen.
    Podcast Resources:
    90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
    cultivatingresilientteens.com
    Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
    Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence

    • 8 min
    Ep – 38 Do your Daughters’ Thoughts Really Impact her Mood and Motivation?

    Ep – 38 Do your Daughters’ Thoughts Really Impact her Mood and Motivation?

    Hey parents,
    Have you ever heard the saying … ‘what you resist persists’?
    I mean, could it really be true that, in your daughter’s attempt to push away all those unwanted things, she only attracts more unwanted things?
    The father of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, suggests that in your attempt to ‘resist’ certain situations, by focusing on what you don’t want, you actually cause those unwanted things to persist, or even grow.
    Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where I want to invite you and your daughter to try a quick brain game with me.
    You can close your eyes, or simply use your mind’s eye to visualize something you desire … a giant scoop of ice cream, a beautiful sunset, or a fun event with friends.
    Now, DON’T imagine a giant pink elephant.
    Okay … did a giant pink elephant just photo bomb your image?
    This is just one small example of the power your daughter has over her mind.
    And why two key concepts play a huge role in her ability to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.
    Find the complete show notes and the two key concepts on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
    Podcast Resources:
    Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
    Ep – 37 How to Handle Your Daughter’s Toughest Social Challenge
    90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
    Being Sensitive Can Be a Challenge … This Strategy Set Me Free!
    Episode #11 Help Your Daughter Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions with a 3 Step Solution

    • 7 min
    Ep – 37 How to Handle Your Daughter’s Toughest Social Challenge

    Ep – 37 How to Handle Your Daughter’s Toughest Social Challenge

    Hey parents,
    I have a question for you … what throws your teenage daughter off more - her big emotions OR the after-effects that follow her reaction to her big emotions? 
    Welcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast.
    If you’re listening today, you probably recognize the value in understanding, and learning how to manage emotions capable of rocking your household and social circles.
    So, today’s episode is offering you a ‘What to do When’ Guide that’s designed to help you and your daughter effectively handle the big emotions that stem from her toughest social challenges. 
    And hopefully this guide is applicable with some of the other tough stuff too.
    Because with all the ‘gears in motion’ during the adolescent years, having tools that minimize the guilt and guesswork are golden.
    (Remember, all the resources shared in the podcast, including the full show notes, can be found on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.)
    Thank You
    Before we get into the guide, I want to send a shout out to the parents who courageously shared their daughter’s toughest social challenges with me.
    Even though your daughter’s experiences were not easy for her - or you - it felt good to see each of you find an approach that moved the needle in a positive, feel-good direction. 
    A Common Theme
    Although each girl’s ‘toughest social challenge’ story felt unique, there was an obvious theme.
    When your daughter is lied to by friends she trusts and believes has her back - is clearly one of the hardest experiences to navigate for passionate, connection seeking teens.
    And, I’ll be honest with you, I almost ditched this podcast idea.
    Maybe you can relate, because if you’re like me, being lied to touches on a pretty tender place inside me that doesn’t really enjoy, and certainly resists being poked at, if you know what I mean.
    The Power of Self-Compassion
    So, rather than spending time dissecting why teenage girls lie to one another; a conversation that I believe is most productive between coach and client in a safe, co-creative environment – I want to introduce you to the work of Dr. Kristin Neff because navigating, healing, and supporting those tender places inside your daughter needs a solid dose of self-compassion.
    Find the Full Show Notes, including Your “What to do When’ Guide, visit my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
    Podcast Resources:
    Wikipedia, Self-Compassion
    Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power to Thrive | Kristin Neff, Ph.D. 
    Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
    90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
    https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-raise-a-socially-intelligent-and-resilient-teenager/
    Episode #6 3 Simple Steps to Quiet Your Daughter’s Inner Critic and Boost her Self-Confidence

    • 8 min
    Ep - 36 If Your Teenage Daughter Feels Misunderstood, This Podcast is for Her

    Ep - 36 If Your Teenage Daughter Feels Misunderstood, This Podcast is for Her

    Hey parents,
    I’m interrupting the regularly scheduled podcast to bring up a concerning issue I experienced, the clients enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program are talking about, and maybe it’s coming up for your daughter, too.
    As we’re moving through the covid pandemic - a time that challenged us collectively and impacted each of us a little differently – there appears to be a heightened sense of awareness that’s positive in some ways and a bit damaging, in others.
    What’s Happening
    As you know, most teenage girls already feel like they’re over scrutinized and judged.
    So, when your daughter feels a heightened sense of what other people may be thinking and saying, a chain reaction often occurs that looks something like … 
    Overthinking or distorted thinking about comments / situationsSecond guessing herself and her role in the interactionsAnd unexplained fatigue or an overall lack of motivationI think we can all agree that now more than ever, your daughter needs and deserves to experience moments of joy and spontaneity to make up for all the missed opportunities.
    And, I wanted to say, that the next episode will be part three of the deep dive into your daughter’s sense of self with the ‘What to do When’ Guide.
    Because I think your shared experiences – thank you for trusting me with your personal stories - are definitely going to help other parents and teens realize they’re not alone on this often-tumultuous journey.
    Actually, the ‘What to do When’ Guide is morphing into a series of its own, so stay tuned as I break down the problems and solutions into smaller, more digestible pieces.
    Today’s Question
    Okay, let’s get into today’s question … 
    how many times has your daughter replayed a past situation in her head and wondered what would have happened if she responded or reacted differently?
    As I was reflecting on the situations my private coaching clients are experiencing, I wanted to invite you and your daughter to take a moment and assess what you’re feeling and observing too.
    It seems the upside to the pandemic is that overall, people seem less tense and are more cordial.
    But the pandemic also seems to have opened the door to increased scrutiny of others.
    The intense feeling of being overly assessed by your peers or by strangers, usually doesn’t feel good, and will certainly have an impact on your daughter’s sense of self and her social scenarios.
    Tuning In
    Personally speaking, as a parent and teen coach I really do my best to stay in tune with my thoughts and emotions and use effective tools and strategies to keep a clear mind so I can show up in the world in a way that feels good to me.
    But because I’m also a human, I’m not immune to the tough emotions that get triggered when I feel like I’m being judged or totally misunderstood.
    And last week, I got a taste for what my clients have been talking about.
    I think you'll enjoy hearing how my situation helped me understand, on a personal level, what my clients have been talking about.

    Find the full Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
    Podcast Resources:
    90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

    • 8 min
    Ep - 35 A Surprisingly Simple Solution to Raising a Socially Resilient Teen

    Ep - 35 A Surprisingly Simple Solution to Raising a Socially Resilient Teen

    Hey parents, 
    How much do your daughter’s friendships influence HER attitude, mood and motivation?
    As a parent and teen coach I hear a lot of stories about how other people’s actions and reactions seem to affect my client’s well-being.
    Of course, it’s natural for connection seeking teens to be influenced by their environment, especially their social scenarios.
    The hard part is, humans, not just teenage girls, are naturally fickle.
    So, if your daughter is always acting or reacting to what’s happening in her external environment, in the moment, she may feel like she’s constantly bouncing around like a ping pong ball … up one minute, down the next. 
    And truth be told, even if her wild emotions give her a boost of energy, it’s not a healthy habit she’ll want to keep around. 
    Heads Up
    Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast
    This is the second podcast of a three-part series where we’re diving deeper into what it looks like to develop your daughter’s sense of self and how she can design social scenarios that align with who she truly is or who she desires to be. 
    Find the complete show notes, resources, and links to previous episodes on my website, cultivating resilient teens.com.
    Before we get rolling today, I want to give you a little heads up that today’s topic, if you’re listing with your daughter, may evoke an eye roll before a head nod, and here’s why.
    Most teenage girls have:
    ·         beliefs
    ·         hopes 
    ·         and expectations 
    that influence how they go about creating and keeping friendships.
    Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot of information or conversation about how those beliefs, hopes and expectations come to fruition.
    Though, they’re often the result of their upbringing, environment, and past social experiences.
    So here’s the hard part, if your daughter isn’t aware of what her beliefs, hopes and expectations are - and how they influence her relationships - she’s going to bounce.
    If she’s getting the attention that meets her expectations, she’ll bounce up.
    And when she doesn’t get the reaction or response she wants, her mood will dip.
    ME and WE
    As you might imagine, relying on other people to moderate her mood and motivation level is exhausting, and will leave her feeling pretty powerless. 
    The good news is it doesn’t have to be that way.
    When your daughter is clear with her core friendship values, she’ll be able to establish a clear boundary between ME and WE.
    3 Red Flags
    In order to set clear boundaries, you’ll want to be aware of a few situations, or red flags, that cause things to get messy. 

    You can read about the 3 Red Flags and the Simple Solution to Raising a Socially Resilient Teen on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
    Keeping in Real
    Like I’ve said before, ya all are what make this podcast REAL and meaningful.
    Thank you for being here, for spending the time to build this community, for sharing this podcast with your friends, for trusting me to work with you and your daughter and for coming together so we can collectively empower teenage girls to build confidence integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.
    I look forward to talking with you about ‘What to do When …?’ because when you have a guide to handle life’s toughest social challenges with grace and ease, you’ll feel good about your responses and eliminate the guilt and guesswork.
    Until next time my friends, know that I’m thinking of you!
    Podcast Resources:

    • 8 min
    Ep – 34 How to Define Your Daughter’s Ideal Tribe – Because One Size Doesn’t Fit All

    Ep – 34 How to Define Your Daughter’s Ideal Tribe – Because One Size Doesn’t Fit All

    Hey parents, 

    I wanted to share a personal conversation I had with a dear friend I’ve known for over 30 years because she raised a great question that’s relatable to anyone raising teens. 
     My girlfriend and I met when we were in the thick of our teenage years and now, we’re both raising teens, so we naturally we found ourselves talking about all the social complexities teens experience, particularly when it comes to concept of defining your daughter’s ideal “tribe.”
    I’m so grateful my girlfriend brought up this issue because, honestly, as a new podcaster, it’s really easy to get caught up in what the experts say you’re supposed to do to have a successful podcast.
     The Proverbial Box
     Between you and I, I’ve never thrived when I’ve had to operate inside the ‘proverbial’ box.
     And when it comes to defining a tribe that feels good to your daughter – that doesn’t fit inside a box either.
     Which may cause some confusion if she’s comparing her interests to what she sees on her media platforms.
     Because the larger and fancier the group photo, the more she may think … huge tribe = happiness. 
     But deep down, we all know that what we think we need isn’t always what we really need.
     The Million Dollar Question
     And that’s why I’d like to ask you … how does YOUR daughter define her tribe?
     Find the full Podcast Episode, including what you can do as parents, at cultivatingresilientteens.com
    Lastly, one of the best parts of this podcast is YOU. 
    And our community is growing quickly.
    It’s super cool to see you’re listening across the globe because we all share this common trait – we’re stronger when we feel connected to one another.
    So, if you’d take a moment and post one strategy you’ve found helpful on the iTunes podcast app, that would be awesome.
    Your interaction helps other parents, just like us, find the show.
    Okay, that’s all for today.
    I look forward to connecting with you next time.
    Podcast Resources:
    Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
    Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

    • 6 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
15 Ratings

15 Ratings

Me and xoxo ,

Short, Sweet & Spot-On!

I came across this podcast in the most roundabout way. One of her (now adult) teens became a client of mine in a town far far away from home. This teen listened to my stories about my newly teen girls, and I listened to their life stories. I was enamored by their persona, their authenticity. The teen eventually shared this podcast and thought it might be a useful tool for me. So a few weeks later I found a moment and listened... to 4 entries and I love it! Shawna has a wonderful voice to listen to. She gives specific life/teen images and situations and authentic ways to work with them personally and within the family. The realist approach and humor work for me. Short, sweet & spot-on with a website to back refer to. I love how life just guides us if we pay attention. Glad to have found this podcast!

huge fan 94 ,

Empowering

So many great ideas with actionable clear steps to help me and my teenager. Highly recommend listening to episode 16, awesome steps to help with understanding how to help setting and understanding core values!

Larsandlogan ,

The perfect actionable tips for each week

I love listening to Shawna’s podcast during my morning walk with my dogs. In each topic she takes what feels confusing and overwhelming in the moment with your teen, and breaks it down into helpful tips. I find myself able to shift my perspective as a parent and try the different strategies once I get home from my walk. Tuesday mornings are the best with Shawna!

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