Episode 327 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Stephen Dause, father of twin girls. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including: Finding out they’d have twins just after 24 year old adopted son moved out Concerns and anxiety about sleep and wife’s health Going to the hospital twice during pregnancy Choosing a MFM specialist over traditional OB TAPS and TTTS monitoring At 34 weeks, gestational hypertension sent Mom to hospital C-section delivery Emergency hysterectomy to stop bleeding after birth Dad’s emotions dealing with traumatic birth experience Power outage when they got home from hospital Taking time off work to take care of babies and his wife Child care plans – finding a daycare Daily schedule for 4.5 month olds and more… Connect with Stephen via his twin dad posts on Reddit here. Podcast Transcript This is transcript auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes. Joe Rawlinson (Host): Yes, your twin pregnancy and delivery may have some crazy surprises. Today on the podcast we’re talking with a twin dad who shares his experience of how their delivery did not quite go according to plan. Now there was a huge surprise after their twin girls were born in the operating room, how they overcame that challenge and more today on the podcast. Welcome to the dad’s guide to twins podcast, the podcast that’ll help you survive and thrive as a father of twins. Now, here’s your host, the author of the book, the dad’s guide to twins, Joe Rawlinson. Hey everybody. Welcome to the podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson. I’m glad that you’re with me today. As always, you can find me on the web at dadsguidetowins.com where you’ll find all previous podcast episodes and tons of resources to help you along your twin parenting journey. Today’s episode is brought to you by my second book for dads of twins. It is called Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins, How to Thrive as a Father of Twins. This book will guide you through those first several years with your twins to help you overcome the common challenges that you’ll be facing. You can get a copy of this book for yourself at RaisingTwinsBook.com. Today we are continuing our Father of Twins interview series with the Father of Twin Girls who are happy and healthy now, but there were some hiccups and some surprises that were a little bit scary in the pregnancy and during delivery that we’re going to talk about today on the episode. Today I’d like to welcome to the show Father of Twins, Stephen Dause. Welcome to the show, Stephen. Stephen Dause (Guest): Thank you. Current Age and Twin Interactions Joe Rawlinson: Stephen, how old are your twins right now? And what’s something exciting about this age? Stephen Dause: They are four and a half months. Something exciting about this age that just happened, started happening maybe a couple weeks ago was I noticed they started talking and babbling and cooing to each other just with, and sometimes when they’re both lying down, they’ll look at each other and start talking, especially if we hold them to each other’s face and they just smile and laugh. It’s really something special because that’s something that parents of multiples get to experience, I guess, that singletons don’t exactly in the same way. So it’s pretty neat. Joe Rawlinson: Yeah, that’s one of the joys we have as dads of twins. We can watch that happen between our twins. Let’s rewind a little bit back in time to when you found out that you’d be having twins? What was your family situation like at that time? Family Situation When Finding Out About Twins Stephen Dause: Well, so when we found out, we had recently helped our 24-year-old adopted son move out. He was 16 when we adopted him eight years ago, and we slowly helped him mature and become independent, and we had just sort of become empty-nesters, so to speak. And then we found out we were pregnant, and started the process of welcoming, or so we thought, at least one biological kid into the family. Joe Rawlinson: Yeah, that’s quite a transition there between an adult and having babies right on the heels of that. What was the experience like from your perspective with the twin pregnancy? How did that progress? Twin Pregnancy Experience Stephen Dause: It was pretty challenging. My first reaction was just anxiety over not being able to get enough sleep, especially because I have some health conditions that already make that difficult for me. And then it quickly turned into anxiety over making sure my wife was healthy and that the twins were healthy and growing properly. She was quite nauseous, especially early on, but throughout the pregnancy, we had to take her to the hospital twice and I guess around week 14 or 15. Thankfully, all she needed was fluids, but she just couldn’t keep anything down, so they were able to give her an IV. As we move further along, we started ultrasounds to monitor for TTTS, twin to twin transfusion syndrome as well as TAPS. A lot of monitoring things got very hard for her very quickly. I started taking over various things that she couldn’t do anymore or was very difficult for her to do. She also has a kidney disease which made her pregnancy high risk to start in addition to the high risk of the twin pregnancy itself. So we had a lot to watch out for, but thankfully her kidneys performed just fine throughout the pregnancy. But it was definitely, we were on pins and needles kind of throughout, just waiting for something to break bad. Joe Rawlinson: Yeah. So for listeners, TAPS is twin anemia polycythemia sequence, which is a mouthful. That’s just why they use the acronym for that. So how did TAPS and TTTS, twin to twin transfusion syndrome even come up on your radar during the pregnancy? Medical Care and Monitoring Stephen Dause: We planned to continue seeing our normal obstetrician, but I did decide to consult with an MFM at around 18 weeks, Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist, and they thought it was fine to continue seeing our OB, but they did definitely recommend, they monitor for TTTS, which our OB knew about, but our OB didn’t know about TAPS. They were happy to try to monitor for it, but the ultrasound technicians actually weren’t really qualified to do it at the normal OB place. So we ended up transferring care eventually entirely to the MFM. And yeah, we at one time or another, they saw some potentially suspicious readings, then they would take a reading the next week and it would be fine. So neither of those actually became… The girls didn’t get diagnosed with either of those, but we were definitely watching for it closely. Joe Rawlinson: So were you with the MFM all the way up to delivery? Stephen Dause: Yes. Joe Rawlinson: Even when it came to delivery, that same doctor was there? Stephen Dause: It wasn’t one particular doctor. There was actually about seven of them at the hospital where we were and we would see, sometimes it would be the same doctor, but we didn’t really know who we were going to see. As it happened, our favorite one of them was on rotation at the hospital, which is separate from the clinic the week that we ended up delivering so that was great. We have a great relationship with her. But I guess that was the primary downside actually of seeing the MFM clinic is that it was a lot of different doctors. It could be a little bit of challenging because you never know who’s actually going to be there when the babies are ready to be born. Joe Rawlinson: I guess if you were able to meet with all of them in one form or another, then at least you were familiar with them at the time. Well, so despite the extra monitoring and some of the extra stress week to week, it seemed like the pregnancy did go pretty smoothly leading up to delivery. Stephen Dause: Yes. The only thing was around 34 weeks, she developed pre-gestational hypertension, which then led to delivery at 35 weeks. Delivery Decision Joe Rawlinson: Tell us a little bit about that. How did that? That just came up on a weekly visit test and then what? Stephen Dause: Yeah. It was a little funny. The last ultrasound we did, they said, “Well, it took them a long time to find the girls’ middle cerebral arteries.” Two of the MFM specialists were in there, both operating the ultrasound machine. And then they said, “Okay, your girls look fine, but your blood pressure is really high. We want you to go to the hospital right now.” And that was Friday, and my wife ended up staying there until delivery on Tuesday. Her symptoms were not too bad. She developed a headache, some lightheadedness, but it was slowly getting worse. They basically told us, “We want to stop this before it gets any worse, and you go off a cliff and really start to feel bad and develop actual preeclampsia or even worse, eclampsia, and it’s not going to help that much for the babies to last another day or two, and you’re not going to make it to another week. We’re going to deliver you ASAP, basically.” Joe Rawlinson: How did you take that news? Stephen Dause: We were at 34 weeks when she went to the hospital, so we were prepared as well as we could be. And we talked to the doctors Friday, and then there were some doctors that visited us over the weekend. So it was a slow transition to realizing, “Oh, okay, this could happen soon. Oh, this is really likely. Okay, that’s going to happen.” And at that point, since we were already in the hospital, we knew she wasn’t going to leave before the babies were delivered and we trusted them enough to say, “Okay, it’s time to deliver. Let’s go.” The Delivery Experience Joe Rawlinson: So when it came time for the delivery, tell us about that experience. Was it going into it? Was it what you were hoping for or planning for, or did you have some surprises? Stephen Dause: Up until delivery was pretty normal. They