Dealing With 40

Clark Vandeventer

Turning 40 is a big mile-marker in life -- and one that makes you reflect on life. Host Clark Vandeventer is dealing with some big questions as he approaches his 40th birthday. In short, he's had a really hard time dealing with 40. Did he squander the promise of his youth? Why has he accomplished so much less than he thought he would have by now? In seeking some perspective, Clark has turned to people who've climbed a little higher. A series of interviews addressing deep questions with people about life after 40.

  1. ١١‏/٠٩‏/٢٠٢٠

    #16 Todd Voss on goals, switches, and idealism

    Dr. Todd Voss is the President of Southern Wesleyan University. Here’s what I love about Todd Voss. For this podcast I went to the Southern Wesleyan University website thinking I would find a really impressive BIO of Dr. Voss listing all of his academic achievements. The impact he’s at at Southern Wesleyan as President. The achievements. The buildings built. The money raised. And I couldn’t find it. I am pretty sure it does not exist. This guy is a quite, unassuming leader. When I first met Dr. Todd Voss he was the vice president for Student Development at Indiana Wesleyan University. I was an 18 year old freshman. Voss was incredibly student focused. He was driven. Always focused on both qualitative and quantitative growth. At one time I asked him to formally mentor me -- and for almost two years we had lunch every Thursday. He would later serve as Executive Vice President at IWU and we remained friends. After he left for Southern Wesleyan, we lost touch a bit. Two years ago, as I was going through a personal dark night of the soul, I reached back out to him. And after years of not talking he was incredibly gracious with his time and really leaned in and was a great help to me. Some things that got my attention.... "My plans are not necessarily God's plans." Having multiple things going at the same time and you never know which one is going to click. He's not big on timelines or deadlines on goals. This is contrary to so much you read and hear from goal driven people. I found Dr. Voss' perspective on this very interesting. Talked about how colleges are destroying ideas by being worried about getting students to pass math. Students turn into realists. Voss wants to encourage idealism and thinking big. Celebrate conflict and the negative outcome of decisions you have made. They are the best ways to learn.

    ٤٩ من الدقائق
  2. ٠٧‏/٠٥‏/٢٠٢٠

    #14: Carl Wagner gives suggestions not advise

    Carl Wagner was born nearly 60 years ago in Yonkers, New York, but has called the Hoosier state his home since 1968 when his father's promotion and transfer for Otis Elevator landed the New York family in Bloomington, Indiana, home of stone quarries, cows and corn, Indiana University, and quiet country roads for the family of eight. Though his first day of kindergarten at School 23 in Yonkers, and later his first day of 3rd grade 800 miles away at Ellettsville Elementary might have led young Carl to want to eventually settle into any occupation that didn't have to do with chalkboards and grade books and dunce caps, he knew from 5th grade on that he would be a teacher. After high school, he went to Wabash College where he switched his college major only once, from biology to English, and upon graduating from Wabash, began a teaching and coaching career of 35 years, interrupted only by a two-year stint in graduate school at Louisiana State University.  Since retiring from the classroom three years ago, Carl has been a college and career coach.  He and his wife Bobbi have been married for 36 years. Carl's all-time favorite book is The Little Prince, he plans on running a marathon this fall with a good friend who will be returning from military deployment in Saudi Arabia, and he hopes to someday write a book tentatively titled On Leaving Facebook. He is a self-described social activist, supporter of Children's Miracle Network hospitals, a proud contributor to foundations supporting research in MS, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and autism, and, probably of great surprise to those who know him, a recent convert to unabashed and unapologetic advocacy of cannabis legalization. Lastly, Carl will tell you that age 40 meant nothing to him except a $5,000 hole in his pocket, but the impending 60th birthday just might be something entirely different. I've known him since I was 8 years old when my oldest brother was running on his track and cross country teams. He seemed larger than life to me then. He was an inspirational coach. I didn't know it at the time, but at that point he was barely out of college! He was my high school English teacher. I loved his classes. I loved the debates. I remember debating little nuances of books in his class. I remember anticipating coming to his class and seeing his Quote of the Day on the board. He inspired me. What I loved about this interview: 1. If you love books and literature, you will love this interview. Every few minutes Carl is quoting, referencing, or alluding to a line from a book. 2. We talked about the difference in two questions. The first, "What do you want to do?" The second, "Who do you want to be?" The second is more important. 3. Listen to all the advise. Then sift through it. 4. Carl doesn't give advise. He makes suggestions. Lots of allusions to books, but a few that were more prominently discussed were Death of a Salesman (he also gave permission to watch the movie with Dustin Hoffman), A Raisin in the Sun, The Gift of Years, and Move Your Chair.  Thoreau, Emerson, TS Elliott are other names that come up.

    ١ س ٢٤ د
  3. ٢٠‏/٠٤‏/٢٠٢٠

    #13: Nancy & Terry Metheny on balance, if that's what you want, and the long-game

    Today my guests are Nancy and Terry Metheny. Terry and Nancy were parents of a very good friend of mine from high school. I spent a lot of time at the Metheny house when I was in high school. They also helped coached Academic teams I was a part of. Nancy and Terry have been married for 43 years -- they have five children and 18 grandchildren -- and having observed them over the years I can tell you they are deeply connected to their kids and so proud of them. They’re long-time Hoosiers. Terry studied mechanical engineering at Rose-Hulman and worked at Eli Lilly for 39 years. Nancy went to BYU; stayed home with their children for 20 years and then went back to work as a high school English teacher for 20 years. Both Nancy and Terry retired two years ago. They’re devoted members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: as part of that lay ministry, Terry served as bishop of their local congregation for 12 years.  Church service is a vital part of their lives. They’re travelers. Terry enjoys reading, gardening and golf; I enjoy crossword puzzles, homemaking, and entertaining. Although we’ve been connected over the years, and Facebook friends over the years -- this conversation is the first significant conversation we've have had since I was in high school, or perhaps early in my collegiate career. The Methenys made a big investment in my life -- and I would say they believed in me. They thought I was capable of great things. If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while you probably know there’s a tinge of fear that perhaps I have disappointed them. Maybe they expected more from me. But I have no doubt that they’re going to give me some perspective today. Things that struck me in this interview: 1. The numbers 20/20. I knew Nancy as a stay-at-home mom. She was getting back into teaching right around the time I was going to college. But in my mind she was always a stay-at-home mom. Doing this interview, I realized as long as she'd done that, she'd had a whole 20 year teaching career afterwards. 2. Terry talked about wanting balance. That was his value and he arranged his life accordingly. But he suggested that maybe some people don't value balance as much. He was open to the idea that balance is not the ultimate value. It was just his value. 3. This long view of success and life building that they hold, in part because of their faith. 4. What I saw when they were 40-ish (as a 17 or 18 year old kid hanging out at their house) vs. the challenges they struggled with. They struggled as parents and they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

    ٥٢ من الدقائق
  4. ١٣‏/٠٤‏/٢٠٢٠

    #12: John Davies on fear vs. opportunity

    Today my guest is John Davies. John is the Chairman and CEO of Davies -- a public affairs firm . John is a master of the business of persuasion, and constantly searches for new trends and methods. He applies his lifelong study of human behavior and effective communications strategies to influence how to get attention and gain influence in today's complex information saturated decision-making process. The growth of Davies into a national powerhouse firm was never the goal, but a by-product of attracting the best talent. John takes on a unique role as a CEO by investing his time and experience to hands-on analysis, strategy, and messaging. He leaves the day-to-day corporate operations to professional managers, allowing him to instead focus on the firm's clients. This strategy has yielded great results:  Davies has been awarded “Public Affairs Agency of the Year,” and named “Best Agency to Work” in several categories for the past 6 years including overall “Best U.S. Consultancy to Work For.” PRWeek ranks Davies amongst the top 25 national PR firms. John is a sought-after speaker on messaging, persuasion, and communications. He is a founding board member of a National Bank, has served as Chair of the University of California’s Economic Forecast Project, President of the nation’s largest scholarship foundation. John and friends, through Acres of Love, have purchased upper-middle-class homes in South Africa to raise HIV-positive orphans and provide them with healthcare, education and a bright future, and currently serves as Board Member of the foundation. He has also helped found a Hands4others (H4O) chapter with his teenage children and other families to supply water to the thirsty around the world. And, I love this guy. I pretty much got to know John because one day I emailed him and said I’d like to meet with him and ask him for some advice. Not only did we meet up, but we had like a two hour lunch at one of Santa Barbara’s best restaurants. And I’ve kept doing that every couple of years. I just  email him saying, “John, I need someone to talk to. I’d like your advice. I’d like to pick your brain. I’d like to present a problem to you and hear your answer. And he’s always been super generous with his time and his wisdom. This interview blew me away. He corrected me on something. It's an important re-set. It has to do with fear. In 1995 I was a sophomore in high school and Kevin Garnett was drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves. I remember what he said when he was drafted. I'm not a Timberwolves fan. I've got nothing against Kevin Garnett, but it's not like I was a big fan of his at the time. But I remember what he said. "A terrible thing: potential. A lot of guys have potential written on their gravestone." What does it say about me that I remember this random quote from a basketball player in 1995? I fear that I will never live up to my full potential. That I could have been so much more. And John re-set me today. Fear is a terrible motivator. We can focus on fears or we can focus on opportunity. A great line from the interview: "Goals to me are like prayers." Talked about how sometimes we achieve a goal but achieving that goal wasn't really the important thing -- it's some other byproduct of reaching for the goal.  We talked about the need for money and the need to feel significant -- and the greater desire to be involved in meaningful work that we feel called to. After the interview, John sent me a link to a talk he gave years ago on overcoming fear. Here's the link: https://vimeo.com/channels/432860/64681909 You can find John's public affairs firm Davies at https://www.daviespublicaffairs.com/ and his subsidiary company The Blaze at http://www.blazepr.com/

    ٥٤ من الدقائق
  5. ١٠‏/٠٤‏/٢٠٢٠

    #11: David Wright on being curious and gathering experiences

    Today my guest is David Wright. Dr. Wright is the 9th President of Indiana Wesleyan University. Prior to become president, Dr. Wright served as IWU's first Provost and Chief Academic Officer and he helped develop Wesley Seminary at Indiana Wesleyan University, the School of Nursing, the School of Health Sciences initiative, the Ron Blue Institute for Financial Planning and the National Conversations: A Series of Dialogues About Society's Well Being. Earlier in his career at IWU, Wright led the university's entry into online education and initiated the regional campus development strategy that helped IWU become Indiana's largest private university. Outside his tenure at IWU, Wright served as dean of the School of Theology at Azusa Pacific University and served in theological education ministries with The Wesleyan Church in England and Haiti. Wright earned a Doctor of Philosophy degree from the University of Kentucky and a Master of Arts degree from George Fox University. He did his undergrad at Indiana Wesleyan University. Dr. Wright grew up in the Philippines where his parents were missionaries. And he’s a pilot. Now, I’m graduate of Indiana Wesleyan University. Ok,  maybe who’s president at your alma mater doesn’t matter to you, but it does to us. At IWU, we’re a close knit bunch.  And I’ve known Dr. Wright since I was an undergraduate. Our paths have interested occasionally over the years, and I am just so delighted to be able to have this discussion with him today. Things that struck me in this interview: "It wasn't like I was idle, but I could never really see the thead, I didn't know what it was becoming..." Wright talks about at about 40 how he first started to step back and ask if he was taking advantage of the gifts God had given him. Right at about the age of 40, he began to develop a plan after attending a conference in Phoenix. He began a yearly process of writing and reviewing goals. This process started with figuring out his life mission, his life values, his life goals. He talked about gathering experiences and being curious -- and how we have no idea how that curiosity and life experiences are preparing  "My aspirations were not career oriented they were experience oriented."  --- This is a VERY important line and an encouraging line to me. "I was hungry for experience, I hated being bored.... I wanted more experiences, I wanted more breadth. I didn't have a sense of what that would come to create in time, but that was my aspiration." This interview encouraged me in the sense that it reminded me that I still have a lot of life before me. I met David Wright when he was about 40 and I already saw him as successful and then he ends up being president of my alma mater, but it's not like his life was this logical trajectory toward the presidency. You can find Dr. Wright at http://www.iwupresident.com/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/IWUPresident

    ٤٩ من الدقائق

التقييمات والمراجعات

٥
من ٥
‫٣ من التقييمات‬

حول

Turning 40 is a big mile-marker in life -- and one that makes you reflect on life. Host Clark Vandeventer is dealing with some big questions as he approaches his 40th birthday. In short, he's had a really hard time dealing with 40. Did he squander the promise of his youth? Why has he accomplished so much less than he thought he would have by now? In seeking some perspective, Clark has turned to people who've climbed a little higher. A series of interviews addressing deep questions with people about life after 40.