78 episodes

Produced by Tenderfire Media, Dear Jessamyn was a weekly podcast encompassing real, raw, and rarely sugar-coated conversations about relationships and loving outside the box. Hosted by romantic partners — award winning writer and yogi, Jessamyn Stanley and Tenderfire Media founder ashe danger phoenix — listeners receive intimate access into the lives of a polyamorous queer couple navigating life.

Dear Jessamyn Moon Room & Tenderfire Media

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 161 Ratings

Produced by Tenderfire Media, Dear Jessamyn was a weekly podcast encompassing real, raw, and rarely sugar-coated conversations about relationships and loving outside the box. Hosted by romantic partners — award winning writer and yogi, Jessamyn Stanley and Tenderfire Media founder ashe danger phoenix — listeners receive intimate access into the lives of a polyamorous queer couple navigating life.

    Why Am I Judging Myself For Being Fat? (Finale)

    Why Am I Judging Myself For Being Fat? (Finale)

    This episode of Dear Jessamyn is the last planned recording of the show. Before this possibly long (or never ending) hiatus, a newly fat Deary asks about how to love her new body. We love you all.
    This episode mentions: Baby News Network; Adipositivity; Substantia Jones; Samantha Irby; Bitches Gotta Eat Blog; and 2 Whole Cakes
    Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media
    Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. 
    This episode was edited by ashe and Produced by Kylee C. Roberts
    Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media
    Janie Leopard does our episode art 
    Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chief of Staff
    Amber Richardson is Ashe’s Chief of Staff
    Fruit Snack does our theme music. 
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com
    You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! 
    No one should be in jail for weed. 

    • 51 min
    Breaking It Down (A Replay)

    Breaking It Down (A Replay)

    This week, we’re taking a look back at a crucial episode for the show from 2021 - episode 204.
    We’re keeping it real and breaking [it] down. Jessamyn and ashe review an unpublished recording while answering Carrie’s question, “Were we in fact dating the same person over and over again?” and their own questions about selling a product versus authentic art. 
    Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify.
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions had find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com 
    Our Editor/Producer is Kylee Roberts
    Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media
    Janie Leopard does our episode art 
    Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chief of Staff
    Amber Richardson is Ashe’s Chief of Staff
    Fruit Snack does our theme music. 
    Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. 
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com
    You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Reviews help a lot. Please, if you've enjoyed this episode, even for like half a beat, please go leave us a review. 
    No one should be in jail for weed. 

    • 38 min
    Why Are We In Relationships?

    Why Are We In Relationships?

    Two things: 1. Love you like you know me. 2. Moving onto an RV is anti-dating. 
    ashe and Jessamyn are back on the mic, giving us a solid What’s New In Paradise. HINT: Relationship update. 
    Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media
    Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. 
    This episode was edited by ashe and Produced by Kylee C. Roberts
    Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media
    Janie Leopard does our episode art 
    Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chief of Staff
    Amber Richardson is Ashe’s Chief of Staff
    Fruit Snack does our theme music. 
    Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. 
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com
    You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Reviews help a lot. Please, if you've enjoyed this episode, even for like half a beat, please go leave us a review. 
    No one should be in jail for weed. 

    • 55 min
    Play, Parties & Psilocybin: What Are Your Wellness Trends?

    Play, Parties & Psilocybin: What Are Your Wellness Trends?

    In the last Summer Session of this year, ashe and Jessamyn discuss their current wellness trends. Inspired by Aidy Bryant and Bowen Yang's Weekend Update bit:  Trend Forecasters.

    Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media
    Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. 
    Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts
    Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media
    Janie Leopard does our episode art 
    Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chief of Staff
    Amber Richardson is Ashe’s Chief of Staff
    Fruit Snack does our theme music. 
    Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. 
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com
    You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Reviews help a lot. Please, if you've enjoyed this episode, even for like half a beat, please go leave us a review. 
    No one should be in jail for weed. 

    • 19 min
    Producer Talks Back: Have You Ever Been Fired?

    Producer Talks Back: Have You Ever Been Fired?

    Okay, but who is your celebrity crush?? In the fifth summer session, our Producer Kylee C. Roberts joins ashe and Jessamyn to play a short round of We're Not Really Strangers.

    Got a question? Head to Dearjessamyn.com/queery and you may hear it answered on the show!
    Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media
    Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. 
    Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts
    Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media
    Janie Leopard does our episode art 
    Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chief of Staff
    Amber Richardson is Ashe’s Chief of Staff
    Fruit Snack does our theme music. 
    Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. 
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com
    You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Reviews help a lot. Please, if you've enjoyed this episode, even for like half a beat, please go leave us a review. 
    No one should be in jail for weed. 

    • 22 min
    Neurodivergent & Terrible Flirt: How Do I Start A Summer Romance?

    Neurodivergent & Terrible Flirt: How Do I Start A Summer Romance?

    In the fourth installment of our Dear Jessamyn: Summer Sessions, ashe and Jessamyn answer a Deary Queery from a 40 y/o, queer, nonbinary married person who started HRT five months ago.  Since starting T, they feel happier and more comfortable in their body, wanting to make friends with more queer people, date some folks, have a summer romance.

    It's a lot! So the question is, how should they go about this?

    Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media
    Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. 
    Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts
    Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media
    Janie Leopard does our episode art 
    Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chief of Staff
    Amber Richardson is Ashe’s Chief of Staff
    https://fruitsnack.bandcamp.com/ does our theme music. 
    Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. 
    There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjessamyn.com
    You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Reviews help a lot. Please, if you've enjoyed this episode, even for like half a beat, please go leave us a review. 
    No one should be in jail for weed. 

    • 25 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
161 Ratings

161 Ratings

jessa888888 ,

Everything I needed and more

The queer, authentic, decolonizing, mental/ emotional-health content I’ve always wanted. Jessamyn has been a fitness/ spiritual guide for me for much of my twents, through many body changes and queer relationships/ situationships, and now that I'm in my thirts, I am so thankful that Jessamyn and ashe are sharing so much of their perspectives and journeys with the internet. This show really helped me realize that I want to be more intentional about building my own queer community, and it is incredibly affirming and validating to hear that the things I’ve struggled with and thought about are normal and okay. I am astounded by the vulnerability, appreciate the openness, and respect all that they have shared and are willing to share.

jen graf-perkins ,

I want to thank you , thank you…

As a queer nurse practitioner who happens to work at Planned Parenthood in NC(I also used to work at the Durham County Health Department in the family planning clinic and primary care at the Durham County Jail. All that to sat, I loved this week’s episode of your podcast. You gave very similar advice I give to my patients, especially how you framed consent. I think communication during sex is super sexy, especially when a partner is asking for consent. I find that folx just need to practice doing that. Also, it is helpful to normalize knowing STI status so folx will get at least annual testing if they are not in a monogamous relationship.

You made me sooo happy listening to all this week’s advice! I’m a long time listener and long time fan of y’all’s body positivity and your advocacy with weed.

I’m super passionate about changing stigmas and laws so we can take the shame away from those who find they have addiction problems. I personally am an alcoholic as well as self- identified lesbian (gold 🌟 star) so I know understand the internalized shame and also know the reality of the medical community’s ignorance to addiction.

Again, all that to say, I appreciate y’all! You don’t need my permission but keep doing you boo! 😉🤣🌈🙌🏼💕🌟

I feel like we’re all fighting the great resistance against racism and patriarchy right now! So carry on my friends…

Jen
Brevity and typos courtesy of my iPhone

lojolowo ,

Narcissism Episode

Overall a fun podcast. Such nice chemistry between Jessamyn & ashe! The Q&A format is great too.

I have a comment about the narcissism episode - I came out of a 2.5 year emotionally & psychologically abusive relationship with a covert narcissist several years ago. It was a horrific break up and catapulted me into learning A LOT about pathological narcissism.

It’s true that everyone has a certain amount of undigested narcissism from developmental periods that may have gone sideways (the Diamond Approach teachings have a lot to say on this that I’ve found super useful). This run of the mill, everyday narcissism is NOT the same as people who suffer from pathological narcissism or NPD.

As someone who’s recovered from this kind of abuse, I think telling someone to just move on and stop assessing future partners for narcissistic traits is bad advice at best and potentially dangerous at worst. From my own experience & everything that I’ve learned, folks who end up in toxic relationships with narcissists tend to be predisposed to relationships (romantic and platonic) where their inner light/naïveté/willingness to see the best in others is exploited on behalf of the narcissists extremely selfish interests.

I think that a super, super important part of recovery from narcissistic abuse is identifying the traits that are endemic to narcissistic behavior and learning to identify those traits in future potential partners and/or friends. If you don’t take the time to think through your experience and start applying it to other people, you are more likely to end up in a similar situation.

The relationship I had with my covert narcissist has turned out to be one of the most important relationships of my life, because it forced me to see how I’d been allowing others to violate my boundaries for my entire life. Not only was I allowing boundary violations, I was inviting them by refusing to prioritize my own basic needs (care, respect, safe connection). My experience with this narcissist led me to reevaluate EVERY relationship in my entire life and to permanently change my criteria moving forward. I really think that learning to apply this information to future relationships is so important for growth and healing.

Encouraging victims of narcissistic abuse to move on prematurely runs the risk of disconnecting them from the new knowing that processing that abuse could make possible. It was YEARS after the relationship ended before even some of my closest friends and family fully believed me and my story about what had happened, because my partner was so good at keeping big parts of the abuse private. The last thing I would ever want a narcissistic abuse survivor to hear is that they should refrain from applying their experience to future situations. For me, my ability to suss out and evade narcissists/energy vampires is a true gift that I wouldn’t trade, even though it was gained through the worst pain and psychological torture of my life.

Thank you for listening <3

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