Deconstructing Mamas

Lizz Enns Petters and Esther Joy Goetz
  • 4.8 (70)
  • SPIRITUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

If you are trying to figure out how to navigate the tricky tightrope of parenting while you have questions, doubts and wonderings about your spiritual journey, this podcast is for you. It doesn't matter if your kids are smalls, middles, or bigs. We will explore what and how we are deconstructing from churchianity, harmful belief systems, and diving deep into the ways we can work this out in parenthood. We will also work through ideas for reconstructing a space for our families to thrive under new systems of love and freedom. We can't wait to bring you some hope that you are not alone and that it's really okay, even good, to explore all the possibilities that may have felt closed off in the past. This podcast will offer you grace and space to be exactly where you are and who you are. We are glad you are here.

  1. Sacred Rage - Ben Cremer

    NOV 4

    Sacred Rage - Ben Cremer

    We sat down with Rev. Benjamin Cremer, writer, pastor, and creator of Into the Gray, to talk about what it looks like to hold sacred anger with open hands. This conversation stretched from “What if I’m wrong?” to “How do we keep from passing our pain along?” We talked about retributive vs. restorative justice, how lament can heal our nervous systems, and why gentleness might just be the most radical form of resistance. Ben reminded us that curiosity is a spiritual practice, lament is a sacred protest, and gentleness—far from weakness—is creativity at its finest. KEY TAKEAWAYS:  Curiosity loosens fear. It moves us from I know you’re wrong to What if I’m wrong?Sacred rage has a direction. Aim your anger at harmful systems, not at the people trapped inside them.Lament is how we stop passing pain. Naming grief in community transforms rage into healing.Gentleness is courageous. It interrupts the cycle of violence and control with creativity, humor, and love.Correction comes after connection. Whether in parenting, faith, or community—belonging comes first.Tradition is living faith. Traditionalism is the dead faith of the living.Transformation is slow work. Small acts of connection and compassion still change the world. WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS:  Because so many of us are carrying a mix of grief, anger, and exhaustion—and trying to figure out what to do with it. This conversation names that ache and gives it language. It’s an invitation to move from bitterness to belonging, from outrage to imagination. If you’ve ever felt burned by religion but still long for the sacred, if you’re learning to parent or protest differently, or if you’re craving a spirituality wide enough to hold lament and love—this one’s for you.

    1h 12m
  2. Learning to Trust What we Feel - Lizz Enns Petters & Esther Joy Goetz

    OCT 28

    Learning to Trust What we Feel - Lizz Enns Petters & Esther Joy Goetz

    In this vulnerable and deeply human conversation, Esther and Lizz open up about the long, complicated process of learning to trust their emotions — after being raised in systems that taught them not to. They talk about what it means to rebuild emotional safety after high-control religion, where feelings were often dismissed as sinful, deceptive, or dangerous. Together, they explore how learning to honor their emotions has transformed their faith, relationships, and parenting. This episode is both tender and raw — an honest look at the messy, holy work of coming home to yourself. Key Themes & Takeaways Emotions Aren’t Enemies, They’re Messengers After years of hearing “faith over feeling,” both hosts are reclaiming their emotions as sacred — not something to suppress, but something to listen to.  Righteous Anger as a Force for Good Liz shares how anger has become a holy motivator for change — a muscle she’s still learning to use wisely and courageously. Safety, Authenticity & the Nervous System They discuss the toll of living in constant spiritual and emotional high alert — and what happens when the body finally realizes it was never truly safe. From Faking It to Feeling It Liz’s story of exhaustion from “faking it” in faith spaces resonates with so many listeners who’ve masked their true selves to belong. Learning to Feel Safe With Ourselves Esther shares how her own healing journey has brought her to a surprising place: genuine safety in her own presence — no longer fearing the God who was always “watching,” but resting in love itself. Reclaiming the “Too Much” Self Together they celebrate the parts of themselves once labeled “too emotional,” “too intense,” or “too much.” As Esther says, “I’m not someone to hide — I’m someone to honor.” Why This Episode Matters If you were ever told your emotions were untrustworthy, that your heart was deceitful, or that safety could only be found outside yourself — this episode will meet you right where you are. Esther and Liz remind us that feelings are not flaws. They are sacred signals that lead us toward wholeness, self-trust, and the kind of peace that can’t be forced.

    1h 5m
  3. Walking the Middle Path - Dr. Camden Morgante

    OCT 21

    Walking the Middle Path - Dr. Camden Morgante

    Licensed psychologist and author Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to explore the “middle path” from DBT and how it reshapes faith, nervous-system healing, sexuality, and parenting after high-control religion. We talk about spiritual bypassing versus true healing, pendulation in EMDR, setting wise boundaries, and cultivating a values-based sexual ethic. The middle path costs something. It also grows deep roots. In this episode you’ll hear about What “walking the middle path” means and why both-and thinking is essential in deconstructionSigns your healing is taking hold: cognitive flexibility, compassion, curiosity, less shameConnection-based parenting and becoming a safe place for our kidsBoundaries that honor your body when rooms feel polarizingSpiritual bypassing vs. embodied, grief-honoring faithEMDR’s pendulation and widening the window of toleranceBuilding a values-based sexual ethic after purity cultureLetting healing be slow, playful, and non-linearAbout our guest Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed psychologist, coach, speaker, and author of Recovering from Purity Culture. She writes the Substack Walking the Middle Path, helping readers practice both-and thinking in faith and life. She lives in Knoxville, TN with her family. Connect with Dr. Camden Website: drcamden.comSubstack: https://drcamden.substack.com/Socials: @drcamdenBook: Recovering from Purity Culture

    46 min
  4. The Sacred Fog of the In-Between - Lizz Enns Petters & Esther Joy Goetz

    OCT 14

    The Sacred Fog of the In-Between - Lizz Enns Petters & Esther Joy Goetz

    In this week’s episode, Lizz and Esther talk about the in-between—that blurry stretch between certainty and freedom. We talk about control and compassion, about nervous systems that don’t need theology as much as safety, and about finding community outside the old walls of church. We don’t have tidy answers (we’ve tried those before). But we do have a few anchors for the fog. Anchors for the In-Between When the old ways of praying, believing, or belonging don’t work anymore—start here: Tree time. Sit under one. Lean against it. Let your breath match its calm.Look up. Sky therapy. A reminder you’re part of something vast and kind.Cozy is sacred. Blankets, warm mugs, soft clothes—small acts of self-compassion that retrain your body to feel safe again.Medicine isn’t weakness. Sometimes your nervous system needs help to unclench. That’s healing, not failure.Rest ≠ avoidance. Rest is recovery. Avoidance is fear. The difference is compassion.A Few Things We Said (and Meant) “God isn’t controlling the universe like a puppet show. Love is still here, and it looks like presence.” “Your body isn’t broken—it’s responding wisely to what’s been too much.” “Use your low beams in the fog. Slow is holy.” If You’re Here Right Now If you’re not sure what you believe, or where you belong, or if any of this still counts as faith—welcome. You’re not alone. The fog is temporary. And even here, you’re being held by something softer, wider, and more loving than fear ever was.

    56 min
  5. Raising Ourselves - Shelley Robinson

    OCT 7

    Raising Ourselves - Shelley Robinson

    We sat down with Shelly Robinson, founder of Raising Yourself, for a conversation about parenting on two levels at once. It’s packed with wisdom, humor, humility, and practical tools for those messy moments when your nervous system wants to hijack the show. 👇 Here’s what you’ll find inside 👇 Certified wellness coach and Raising Yourself founder Shelly Robinson returns to talk about parenting the child in front of us and the one still healing inside of us—inner-child work, humility, co-regulation, boundaries, hormones, rest, and why compassionate presence often beats any script. Sometimes the hardest part of parenting is caring for two children at once — the one in front of us, and the one still healing inside us. In this rich conversation, Shelly Robinson shares how a single “record-scratch” moment shifted her away from fear-based faith and toward reparenting, and how that choice keeps shaping her teens-and-tweens season. We get practical about nervous-system tools in the heat of the moment (“I am safe,” “I want to feel good on the other side of this”), the slow work of tending what gets stirred at each developmental stage, and how sleep, movement, friendship, and boundaries change the energy we bring to our kids. We also name the role of perimenopause, chronic pain, and doomscrolling and why “no wonder” and “that’s fair” are underrated phrases of compassion. You can find Shelly in these spaces: www.shellyrobinson.com Helping Parents Raise Themselves - Raising Yourself Explore Shelly Robinson's unique approach to Reparenting, Gentle and Conscious Parenting. Empower your family journey with insightful resources, expert guidance, and transformative parenting tools. Join the Raising Yourself movement for transformative parenting insights and nurturing a compassionate parenting culture. Instagram: @raisingyourself Facebook: Shelly Robinson - Raising Yourself

    55 min
  6. Parenting Beyond Fear - Lizz & Esther

    SEP 30

    Parenting Beyond Fear - Lizz & Esther

    In this week’s episode, we dive straight into the heart of fear-based parenting — where it comes from, how it still shows up, and how we begin to choose something different. We ask ourselves the questions we wish someone had asked us years ago: What were we taught — explicitly or implicitly — about what made someone a “godly” or “good” parent?How did those teachings shape how we viewed our kids — and how responsible we felt for their behavior, beliefs, or choices?Can we name a moment when fear was running the show — and how we see that moment differently now?What helped loosen fear’s grip? Was it a single turning point or a slow, patient unraveling?What does it look like, in this season, to choose connection over control?What fear still lingers — and how do we hold it with compassion now?And if we could write a permission slip to our past selves, what would it say about parenting with love instead of fear?We talk about the messages that shaped us — hell, rapture, sin, “God’s will,” belonging — and how they continue to whisper in the background of our parenting. And we explore what it means to parent our kids with radical trust and unconditional love, even when the old scripts want to pull us back into fear. 👇 Here’s what you’ll find inside 👇 Real stories of moments when fear tried to take over — and what choosing love looked like instead.Honest reflections on untangling our worth (and our kids’ worth) from their behavior.Practical ways to pause, breathe, and lead with love when control feels easier.Permission to rewrite the story — for ourselves and for the generations coming after us.

    54 min
  7. The Cost of Deconstructing - MK Backstrom

    SEP 23

    The Cost of Deconstructing - MK Backstrom

    If you’ve ever stepped away from high-control religion, you know there’s a cost. Sometimes it’s obvious—the loss of community, relationships, or even belonging in your own family.  Other times, it’s invisible—the quiet grief of realizing the certainty you once clung to has slipped away, leaving you feeling untethered. This week on the podcast, we’re digging into that cost—naming the wounds, telling the truth about what we’ve carried, and asking what healing really looks like. We’re joined by the hilarious and heartbreakingly honest Mary Katherine Backstrom, bestselling author and viral social media sensation. Mary Katherine grew up the quintessential youth group kid—Bible drills, mission trips, Sunday school answers on speed dial. She was “driving happily down the straight and narrow,” until one day her young son asked: “Will my Jewish best friend go to hell?” That question cracked open everything. What followed was a season she calls her “heresy era”—a mix of doubt, grief, public honesty, and raw storytelling on social media. Her book shares that wild, messy ride: when faith crashes, burns, and somehow—through grace, therapy, and humor—reshapes into something more expansive and real. Here’s what we’ll be talking about: What it costs us to leave high-control religion—both the visible and invisible toll.How humor can become a lifeline in the middle of unraveling.The grief of letting go of certainty and the surprise of finding healing in unexpected places.Parenting after deconstruction: what changes when your kids start asking the questions you were once too afraid to ask.How to break cycles of fear and control so our kids can grow up with freedom, curiosity, and belonging.If you’ve ever felt the ache of losing what once held you—or wondered if the pain is worth it—you are not alone. This conversation is raw, real, and, yes, laugh-out-loud funny. You can find MK Backstrom at the following: Instagram: @marykatherine_author Facebook: MK Backstrom Substack Newsletter: MK's Substack

    1h 4m
  8. Our Three-Legged Race - Lizz Enns Petters & Esther Joy Goetz

    SEP 16

    Our Three-Legged Race - Lizz Enns Petters & Esther Joy Goetz

    Welcome to Season Eight! This is the beginning of the final season of our podcast! This week, the two of us are chatting through these questions: 1. What’s one word or image that comes to mind when you think about this podcast’s beginning? 2. What was the ache or question we were carrying that made us want to start this show? 3. Can you remember a moment early on when you thought, “Yes, this matters”? 4. What have you learned — about yourself, your faith, your parenting — through these conversations? 5. Have there been episodes or moments that live in your body still — ones that cracked something open? 6. Why does it feel like now is the time to begin wrapping things up? 7. What are you most curious about or tender toward as we enter this last stretch? 8. If this final season could do just one thing really well — what do you hope that would be? 9. What would you say to someone just discovering this podcast now — here at the beginning of the end? 10. What’s one quiet hope you’re carrying into these final episodes?

    54 min
See All (97)

4.8
out of 5
70 Ratings

About

If you are trying to figure out how to navigate the tricky tightrope of parenting while you have questions, doubts and wonderings about your spiritual journey, this podcast is for you. It doesn't matter if your kids are smalls, middles, or bigs. We will explore what and how we are deconstructing from churchianity, harmful belief systems, and diving deep into the ways we can work this out in parenthood. We will also work through ideas for reconstructing a space for our families to thrive under new systems of love and freedom. We can't wait to bring you some hope that you are not alone and that it's really okay, even good, to explore all the possibilities that may have felt closed off in the past. This podcast will offer you grace and space to be exactly where you are and who you are. We are glad you are here.

Information

  • Creator
    Lizz Enns Petters and Esther Joy Goetz
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2025
  • Episodes
    97
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Deconstructing Mamas
  • Show Website
    Deconstructing Mamas

You Might Also Like