Delete Your Defaults

Aaron Bieber and Rosa Carson

5.0 (1)
Society & Culture
Updated Biweekly

A show about hacking our social autopilot.

Jul 16

Enough

What if you didn’t have to earn your enoughness? In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore the ways a sense of “not enough” can drive overwork, anxious attachment, perfectionism, blame, and the constant search for external validation. We unpack the difference between fault and responsibility, why discomfort often appears when you begin changing old patterns, and how awareness creates the possibility of choice. We also offer a gentler path: noticing moments of enoughness, letting them land in the body, releasing the belief that being hard on yourself will make you better, and asking a deceptively powerful question: What if this could be easier—or even more fun? We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
Jun 17

Safety

In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore the difference between chasing safety in the outside world and cultivating it within yourself. From anxious text messages and people-pleasing to conflict avoidance and self-criticism, we unpack how many of us mistake the familiar for the safe—and how that keeps us stuck. The conversation weaves through relationships, self-trust, nervous system regulation, vulnerability, and the surprising role that risk plays in creating genuine security. Along the way, we make the case that true safety doesn’t come from controlling other people, avoiding discomfort, or getting everything right but rather from trusting yourself to handle whatever happens. If you've ever struggled to ask for what you want, speak an uncomfortable truth, navigate conflict, or stop "shoulding" on yourself, this episode offers a powerful reframe: confidence isn't built by succeeding—it's built by surviving failure, repairing ruptures, and learning that you don't abandon yourself when things get hard. We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
May 28

Rules

Join us as we explore the strange, slippery nature of rules: which ones actually matter, which ones are just habits disguised as truth, and why so much of modern life depends on collective agreement more than objective reality. Wander with us through speeding in Boston, jaywalking, airplane seat swaps, recycling myths, corporate theft, public transit etiquette, and the spiritual practice of becoming a little more unruly. But underneath the humor and tangents is a deeper question: what happens to us when we become too compliant? Rosa shares how rule-following can disconnect us from our own aliveness and personal power, while Aaron argues for a more conscious relationship with the systems we inhabit. Together, we invite listeners to examine the defaults they’ve inherited, question the rules that shape their lives, and reclaim the discernment to decide which ones deserve their obedience — and which ones might be begging to be broken. We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
May 13

Disappointment

Disappointment isn’t the problem—avoiding it is. In this episode, we explore why disappointment is actually a signal: it shows you what you care about, what you want, and where you’re still making things mean something about you. When you turn it into a verdict on your worth, it sticks. When you’re willing to feel it, it moves—and gives you useful information instead. We talk about the link between expectation, attachment, and emotional pain—and how shifting from judgment to curiosity opens up more freedom, energy, and self-trust. What if the goal isn’t to stop feeling disappointment. It’s to stop abandoning yourself when it shows up. We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
Apr 30

Wonder

What if the unknown wasn’t something to fear—but something to meet with curiosity? In this episode, we explore wonder as a powerful antidote to control, fear, and self-importance. From “what’s the best that could happen?” to loosening your grip on outcomes, we unpack how wonder opens new possibilities—in your choices, your identity, and your capacity to experience life more fully. We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
Apr 15

Courage

The story suggests that courage feels powerful, but we bust that myth in this conversation. We talk about why acting in the presence of fear is the real definition of courage, how avoidance quietly shrinks your life, and why expanding your capacity to feel discomfort is the gateway to freedom. From night swimming to skydiving to awkward social risks, we unpack how fear is often more about protecting identity than actual survival—and how moving through it opens up your world. We also dive into practical ways to build courage. Referenced in this episode: Chris Hemsworth (Limitless), Joe Hudson (The Art of Accomplishment). We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
Apr 1

Demons

For our April 1 episode, we took a deep dive into KPop Demon Hunters — the absurd, hilarious, surprisingly moving movie that gave us demon boy bands, soul-sucking pop anthems, six-eyed magpies in tiny hats, and one of our favorite metaphors in a long time. We walk through the whole film, from Huntrix battling demons mid-flight to the slow unraveling of Rumi’s hidden shame, and explore why this ridiculous premise works so well. Along the way, we talk about appetite, belonging, secrecy, repair, and the way the soundtrack carries the emotional heart of the story. What starts as a playful movie recap turns into a rich conversation about the parts of ourselves we hide, the damage shame does when it stays secret, and the freedom that becomes possible when we tell the truth about who we are. We dig into Rumi and Jinu as mirrors for the human struggle with self-rejection, secrecy, and longing to belong, and we reflect on one of the film’s deepest truths: we can’t heal what we refuse to face. Also: Derpy the tiger is perfect, “Your Idol” is a banger, and yes, we are formally requesting a prequel. We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.
Mar 4

Freedom

If you’ve been exhausting yourself trying to control what can’t be controlled, this episode offers a gentler, braver path: cultivate self-trust, release the performance, and discover what becomes possible when you’re finally free to be yourself. We unpack the illusion of control and why confidence is built after you move — not before. From rock climbing metaphors to reframing your inner critic, this conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip on outcomes and step into the unknown with trust. True freedom is an inside job. It’s the embodied sense that you can handle what arises in the present moment. It’s being willing to feel scared and move anyway. It’s celebrating frustration as proof that you’re growing. We draw from psychology, spirituality, and lived experience — here are a few touchpoints from this conversation: Ram Dass – Referenced for his perspective on presence and the idea that we’re all “God in a spacesuit,” here to experiment and explore rather than win the achievement game. Check out in particular his book Be Here Now for perspectives on liberation. Nelson Mandela – An example of profound inner freedom, even under conditions of literal imprisonment. Tommy Caldwell – Mentioned in the context of resilience, risk, and the relationship between failure and growth. We love to hear from you! Email us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com.

A show about hacking our social autopilot.

Creator

Aaron Bieber and Rosa Carson
Years Active

2025 - 2026
Episodes

31
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Aaron Bieber and Rosa Carson
Show Website

Delete Your Defaults