Desi Dramas

Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova
  • 5.0 (9)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Ever wish your therapist just got what it means to be a Desi? Step inside the mind of Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist unpacking the familiar stories keeping us stuck. Each week, she transforms evidence-based tools using a cultural lens — bicultural identity, family conflict, marriage tension, and everything in between. Practical tools so you can feel empowered. This is not therapy, but we trust it will be therapeutic.

  1. 4d ago

    3 Essential Communication Skills for Couples (From a Desi Psychologist)

    Every couple that goes to therapy makes the same mistake. They describe the fight. Who said what, when, where, why, how. But that is not what I am listening for. I'm listening for what is beneath sea level. I help couples go beneath the deck to see what's deeper. This is how they avoid crashing into the iceberg and do conflict better. In this episode I give you the three tools I hand almost every couple I see in our first sessions, plus one sentence that works as a lifeboat when you have already crashed. I'm Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist in California. Going below the deck to that emotional level was probably not modeled in most Desi families, so I model it here, using a couple I call Nikki and Jay and a fight about unpaid bills that was never really about the bills. 00:00 Teaser — the one mistake every couple in therapy makes 00:18 Your conflict is the iceberg: how couples therapy actually works 02:13 Communication tool 1 — speak about your emotions, not from your emotions 03:00 Nikki and Jay: the fight about the unpaid bills 04:03 Communication tool 2 — "I" statements that are true but not unkind 05:30 Communication tool 3 — go below the deck, into the vulnerability 06:35 Why it was never about the bills: Nikki as the eldest daughter 07:29 The one sentence to say mid-fight — "I can see that you're hurting" 08:21 What Desi parents' marriages never modeled — "Growing up, did you see that?" 09:06 Takeaways — three tools and one lifeboat The quotes from tools one and two come from my mentor, licensed clinical social worker Liz Brenner, who was on the podcast last week talking about in-law drama. Go listen to that one next. Next week: after you say "I see you're hurting," what do you actually do? I give you a framework for navigating any difficult conversation, with a partner, a parent, a friend, or a colleague. And if you want to share a drama you are in, message Dr. Heena at desi-dramas.com. She might unpack your tension in an upcoming episode. To find the podcast, resources, and contact Dr. Heena: Website: https://desi-dramas.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-Dramas Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGSApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramas Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462 New episodes every Tuesday. This isn't therapy, but I trust it has been therapeutic. Share this with your co-captain.

  2. Aug 10

    What to Say When Your Mom and Your Wife Are Both Upset With You (A Live Therapy Role Play)

    A new day and a new drama between your mom and your wife. Desi husbands feel like the rope with their mom on one side and their wife on the other--both pulling you to side with them. You may have been stuck in this tension for some time and feel exhausted. Desi clinical psychologist, Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova sees this in her practice all the time. So she brought in her mentor, licensed clinical social worker, Liz Brenner, to do a role play where Dr. Heena acted like the stuck husband. In this episode, you're going to learn why this tension is so common, what to say to your wife, what to say to your mom, and what to ask yourself. It is complicated and it can be so painful. But it doesn't have to keep playing out the way it has been. 00:00 Teaser 02:40 Meet Liz Brenner + why this comes up in almost every family I work with 03:52 The role play begins: husband caught between mom and wife 09:47 The guilt underneath — "being a bad beta" 15:54 Liz makes Heena break character: "Have you thought about making dinner yourself?" 19:46 Naming the real boundary issue 23:53 The patriarchy that he's swimming in and can't see 28:11 "It's that both people don't feel seen" 33:18 The loyalty bind 36:20 The shuttlecock — and the door to change 44:01 What does he actually want? 47:26 Stuck in the triangle 49:20 Liz's one message for everyone caught in this To find the podcast, resources, and more check out: 🌐 Website: https://desi-dramas.com 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-Dramas 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGS 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcast 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramas 🤝🏽 Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462 To get trained in couple and family therapy check out: https://therapytrainingboston.com/. And if you want to share a drama you are in, message Dr. Heena at desi-dramas.com. She might unpack your tension in an upcoming episode. This isn't therapy and I trust it has been therapeutic. Share this with someone who needs it!

  3. Aug 4

    The Noise First-Generation Desis May Need to Quiet

    What is therapy with first-generation Desis really about? Quieting the noise to figure out what you actually want, even if that means being a bad egg. Therapist Paulomi Dave-Potter, founder of Meeting You Therapy, joins Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova to talk about the noise that first-generation and immigrant Desis carry: marriage pressure, achievement pressure, comparison, and the expectation that love has to be earned. You'll hear how loneliness feels universal to anyone who's left home (and what "mud season" has to do with it), how to use your senses to come back into the present moment, and why so many Desis feel they can only partner with someone their family approves of. Paulomi and Dr. Heena also get into how visa status, achievement, and survival get tangled together for first-generation professionals, and why the debt you feel toward your parents can never really be repaid, no matter how hard you try. 0:00 Introduction 0:21 Welcome and Meeting Paulomi 1:56 Paulomi's Identity and Background 4:58 Loneliness, Leaving Home, and Mud Season 7:42 Naming Emotions and Creating Space 8:59 Grounding Through the Senses 12:14 The Noise Metaphor 13:43 Marriage Pressure and Choosing a Partner 17:54 Visa Pressure and the Cost of Achievement 22:53 Conditional Love and Immigrant Bargaining 30:16 Comparison, Social Media, and Alignment 38:00 Final Takeaways 39:00 Where to Find Paulomi Paulomi Dave-Potter is a licensed therapist and the founder of Meeting You Therapy, working with first-generation Americans and foreign-born immigrants in the Boston-Cambridge area. You can reach her at meetingyoutherapy.com. New episodes every Tuesday. If this one resonates, this is a good episode to send to a friend who's been struggling to quiet the noise in their life.

  4. Jul 28

    5 Exercises to Prepare Your Marriage Before Baby Comes

    The number one fight new parents have isn't about money or in-laws. It's who does what and whether it feels fair. Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova shares the five exercises she walks every pregnant couple through in her practice: mapping how your identity is about to shift, dividing the load as two full owners instead of one manager and one helper, designing a fourth trimester that feels supportive instead of controlling, building tiny new rituals that protect your relationship once the baby arrives, and creating a shared vision for the family you're actually building together. Nearly two thirds of couples report a real dip in marital satisfaction in the first two years after having a baby. This episode is for the couples who want to be in the other third. 0:00 Intro: What No One Preps You for 3:52 Why Relationship Satisfaction Dips After Baby 5:58 Exercise 1: The Identity Pie 8:41 Exercise 2: Divide the Load as Two Owners 16:04 Exercise 3: Design Your Fourth Trimester 23:22 Exercise 4: Create New Rituals 30:11 Exercise 5: Build Your Shared Meaning 36:35 Takeaways and Recap Templates for every exercise, plus the questions Dr. Heena and her own partner used to prepare their marriage, are at desi-dramas.com. New episodes every Tuesday. If you're expecting or know someone who is, this is the episode to send them, alongside all the other support you are providing because we need all the help we can get during this transition.

  5. Jul 21

    The most important need for Desis

    Part 2 of the six core emotional needs every child has — this time, self-expression, safety, and self-worth. Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova walks through why so many Desis learned that wanting things out loud was shameful, why "there's no reason to worry" quietly teaches kids their feelings are wrong, and why achievement-based self-worth becomes an engine that never stops running — even into marriage and parenthood. You'll leave with exact phrases and actions for each need, drawn from real patterns Dr. Heena sees in her practice with Desi individuals, couples, and families. Missed Part 1? Go back and listen to connection, autonomy, and realistic limits before this one. The full guide for both episodes is at desi-dramas.com. New episodes every Tuesday.

  6. Jul 14

    Why Desi Love Can Feel Conditional — What Kids Really Need

    Many of us grew up in Desi households where love felt tied to performance — the grades, the "good" career, what the neighbors would say. In Part 1 of this two-part episode, therapist Heena introduces CARESS, her framework for the six core emotional needs every child has, and what happens when they go unmet — not just in childhood, but in the anxious, stuck, people-pleasing adults who later find her therapy room. Through the stories of three clients — Anjali, Amit, and Pooja — we explore the first three needs, how they quietly go missing in South Asian families, and the words and actions you can use to meet them. This half covers Connection, Autonomy, and Realistic Limits — with real scripts you can use with your kids, your partner, and yourself. Chapters:00:00 – Teaser00:35 – The things you wish your parents had done differently01:36 – The CARESS framework (and how it got its name)05:21 – C is for Connection — Anjali's story11:19 – A is for Autonomy — Amit's story19:05 – R is for Realistic Limits — Pooja's story28:07 – Recap + what's coming in Part 2 Free episode guide — every need, phrase, and action: desi-dramas.com Your turn: which was hardest to come by in your home growing up? Comment a C, A, or R — the letters that come up most shape what I make next. Part 2 covers the second half of core emotional needs I see missing most in our community. New episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe so you don't miss it. Desi Dramas is for education and reflection, not a substitute for therapy. If you're struggling, please reach out to a licensed professional or your local crisis line.

  7. Jul 7

    Why Desi Parents Struggle to Let Go (And How to Change It)

    "You can honor your family's sacrifices without sacrificing yourself." Many parent–child struggles in South Asian and immigrant families aren't about a lack of love — they're about not knowing how to stay connected while being true to yourself. In this episode, Heena talks with licensed counselor Surbhi Vyas (Healing Lotus Mental Health) about the tensions she sees every day: values clashes, money across generations, and the push and pull of autonomy between teens, young adults, and their parents. Surbhi shares the metaphors she uses in session — the kite (providing autonomy without losing connection), the bridge (building trust brick by brick), and the oxygen mask (taking care of self before parent)— plus a better way to talk about "sacrifice," the open-ended questions that get kids to open up, and why doing your own healing may be the best thing you do for your child. Whether you're a parent trying to understand your kid or an adult still making sense of how you were raised, this conversation offers practical, compassionate tools. Chapters:00:00 Teaser00:57 Meet Surbhi Vyas02:34 "You're in the driver's seat; I'm the defog button"03:32 Where parents & teens clash on values05:15 Money across generations16:13 The kite: autonomy without losing connection19:28 "Frozen in time"21:25 What narrative therapy actually is23:57 When autonomy feels like rejection27:01 Control, grief & letting go36:07 Why parents should try therapy too37:35 Questions that open kids up42:23 Helping teens make their own decisions46:16 Bricks, bridges & the oxygen mask48:43 A better way to talk about "sacrifice"55:30 Why vulnerability feels risky1:00:08 Final takeaways1:05:12 How to reach Surbhi Guest — Surbhi Vyas, LPC, founder of Healing Lotus Mental Health (NJ & PA), specializing in South Asian and immigrant mental health.Website: healinglotusmentalhealth.com Email: surbhi@healinglotusmentalhealth.com Instagram: @healing_lotus_mental_health Follow Desi Dramas for new episodes. More at desi-dramas.com.

  8. Jun 30

    The One Word That Ends Grandparent Conflicts

    You're raising your kids to blend Desi and American values — and you want the grandparents in their lives. But when you pick your kids up and find them on their second movie of the day, it can feel like you have to choose between being a respectful daughter and being the parent you want to be. You don't. 💛 This week, Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova teaches one simple skill — replacing "but" with "and" — that lets you honor a grandparent's love and hold your limit, without anyone feeling rejected. She walks through how it sounds across three situations that come up constantly: permissiveness, gender-role expectations, and cultural clashes (think touching elders' feet). Then she unpacks the deeper reason these moments hit so hard — and a family-recipe metaphor you won't forget. The goal is never to win. It's to stay connected while staying true to the parent you're choosing to be. 00:00 The impossible choice every Desi parent feels they have to make 01:30 Why "good daughter" vs. "good parent" is a false choice 03:00 The skill: but → and (dialectics) 04:30 Example 1: Permissiveness 06:30 Example 2: Gender roles 08:30 Example 3: Cultural clashes (feeding, touching feet) 11:00 Where this shows up in corporate 12:00 The 5 skills that make it work 16:00 Why Desi parents are so hypervigilant around the grandparents 17:30 The family-recipe metaphor 🎧 New episodes every Tuesday. If you want to share your story, head to desi-dramas.com. Dr. Heena may unpack yours anonymously, in a future episode. This isn't therapy AND we trust it has been therapeutic.

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9 Ratings

About

Ever wish your therapist just got what it means to be a Desi? Step inside the mind of Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist unpacking the familiar stories keeping us stuck. Each week, she transforms evidence-based tools using a cultural lens — bicultural identity, family conflict, marriage tension, and everything in between. Practical tools so you can feel empowered. This is not therapy, but we trust it will be therapeutic.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    15
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova
  • Show Website
    Desi Dramas