Divorced & Determined AF Jamie Milam, Realtor® & CDS™

As women, we tend to carry a burden and responsibility in our minds that's considering everyone else but us. And we hardly speak up about it. When we do start to think about what we want, we somehow find a way to downplay it, dismiss it or even try to convince ourselves we're being unreasonable. "I should be able to just get over this." "I just have too high of expectations." Statements like that can lead to pressure and shame spirals, which lead to overwhelm.
 
Too much overwhelm can (and certainly will) lead to an elevated and reactive emotional state. A divorce presents its fair share of overwhelm, but is still best navigated when you can keep your wits about you. This episode is all about offering you an antidote to your overwhelm so you can better manage your emotions and reactions, ultimately promoting a calmer, more reflective state of being. By the end, you'll have five quick tricks you can implement today to get your emotions under control before the overwhelm hijacks you.
 
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
 
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.⁠
 
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com 
Instagram | LinkedIn
 
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Episode Moments:
 

03:42 Build Up of Overwhelm
07:42 The Impact of Judgment-Free Emotion Management
11:49 Five Techniques to Manage Emotions
21:12 Lifelong Applicability

If you're at your wits end with your marriage, feeling lost, and have a thousand questions swirling in your head about your future's unknown, this is the episode is for you. This episode provides emotional support and practical advice for women considering divorce, feeling overwhelmed by the decision-making process.
 
We discuss how intense emotions like anxiety and stress biologically messes with your ability to process information and make decisions, so you can understand why it's so hard for you to figure out what to do first. Then I'm going to share what you want to do first, in the very beginning, if you're considering a divorce. This first step is going to give you the tool you need to gain clarity on what you need to know, who can help you, and offer you guidance that you can take throughout the entire divorce process if that's what ends up occurring. If you want to dissipate the brain fog and find a clear path, then tune in to learn from those who have been where you are.
 
References:
Episode 56
 
The accompanying worksheet can be found in the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative's free resource library. Please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
 
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.⁠
 
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com 
Instagram | LinkedIn
 
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Episode Moments:

04:10 The Science Behind Your Overwhelm
09:15 Your First Practical Step
14:35 Navigating Key Areas of Divorce
22:22 Empowering Yourself

We naturally have a tendency to react emotionally during communications with a soon-to-be ex-partner, but directing those emotions at them can greatly compromise your divorce process. Even if you're not labeled as "high conflict" within your proceedings, you can still encounter challenges if you aren't equipped with some best practices for communicating with your ex.
 
I've asked Christina Butler, a certified High Conflict Divorce Coach, to join me today to help us understand what those risks are and how we can do our best to avoid them. With a masters in counseling and having experienced divorce herself, she understands the natural emotional reactions we have but has also witnessed how it can negatively impact your settlement and future and will share some of that with us today.
 
She'll give us the practical advice you need to help you avoid your communication being used against you in court, offer strategies on how to not let your emotions hijack you, and guidance on the best communications modes when it comes to your divorce. We want to help you get through the short term pain so you can reap the long term benefits.
 
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
 
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.⁠
 
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com 
Instagram | LinkedIn
 
CONNECT WITH CHRISTINA:
https://www.hopekinleycoaching.com/
 
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Episode moments:
 
07:27 Understanding Emotional Hijacking in Divorce Conversations
14:08 The Importance of Grieving in the Divorce Process
17:54 The Consequences of Letting Emotions Hijack Communication
22:49 Mindset Shifts for Parents in Divorce
30:28 Best Modes for Divorce Communication

Are you feeling a little out of place in your social circles now that you're going through a divorce? Do you feel like you get invited to less things by your couple friends. Is your new co-parenting schedule making it a little difficult to get on the same page as your friends? Maybe you're like me, and you find yourself not relating to your neighborhood the way you once did. Life in suburbia certainly can feel different once your family dynamics shift after a divorce.
 
It can be a struggle to find your footing again in social settings after you separate and you may naturally retract from some of the social landscapes you were once a part of. Today's episode is meant to help set you up with potential expectations so you'll 1) feel less isolated if it occurs and 2) know how to cope with it so you can navigate the changing social landscapes more peacefully and rebuild a newly aligned social life.
 
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
 
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.⁠
 
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com 
Instagram | LinkedIn
 
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Episode Moments:
03:28 Pressures as a Working Mom
06:33 The Impact of Divorce on Social Circles and Friendships
10:12 Finding Support
16:08 Rediscovering Joy
20:16 Looking Forward

After marriage - and especially after having children - it can be hard to maintain or even create a friendship circle outside of your marriage if you aren't ever able to really get out to see spend time with them. Some women begin to feel so isolated and alone within their own home and aren't able to experience the connection with friends they once enjoyed so much, adding to the overwhelm and loneliness when their marriage is ending.
 
I've invited a local divorcée, Rosa Sprinkle to share her personal journey of navigating life and building supportive friendships after a taxing marriage and subsequent divorce. Married for 12 years and a stay-at-home mom of four, she details the challenges of lacking adult interaction and feeling subordinate in her marriage, which eventually led to her decision to leave for a healthier life. Like most women, she didn't know what her future held, but she needed more. Going from hardly ever having social time outside of her family with her, to now finding joy in hobbies and activities with friends who share similar experiences, Rosa's story is a testament to the power of friendship, self-discovery, and the pursuit of happiness post-divorce.
 
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
 
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.⁠
 
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com 
Instagram | LinkedIn
 
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Episode Moments:

04:45 Craving Social Interaction and Support
07:44 Life Before and After Kids: A Shift in Social Life
11:15 The Turning Point: Deciding to Leave
12:40 Building a New Life Post-Divorce
17:36 The Power of Someone that Gets It
26:10 Finding Joy and Connection in New Friendships

Kids can really struggle when they're experiencing their parents separating. And the little ones especially don't know how to communicate what they're feeling or the circumstances, and it can in turn affect their behavior. Today Natalie Parmenter, a former elementary school teacher of ten years, and I delve into how children's behavior in the classroom can reflect their experiences of divorce at home.  In this episode we're discussing the importance of expanding your kiddo's support system and maintaining a stable environment for them in their school environment - a place they spend a huge amount of their day in. She'll give us practical advice on how to inform your child's teachers about your divorce, including what information to share and the best methods for communication, along with how to handle co-parenting dynamics with the school.
 
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
 
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.⁠
 
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com 
Instagram | LinkedIn
 
Natalie Parmenter is the founder of Primary Focus: the parent's guide to elementary school.
Snag her free Email Templates to Send to a Teacher
CONNECT WITH NATALIE:
http://www.primaryfocus.tv
Instagram | YouTube
 
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Episode Moments:
03:51 Teacher's Perspective: Observing Children's Behavior During Divorce
08:00 A Teacher's Insight: Adapting to Children's Needs Amidst Divorce
11:31 Sharing Divorce News with Teachers: Timing, Methods & Details
17:47 Understanding the School's Role and Limitations in Divorce Situations
20:39 Real-Life Consequences of Inadequate Communication with Schools
24:33 Co-Parenting Strategies for Academic Success
 
 
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.