Different, Possibly Confusing, But Totally Valid

Today, I want to impress on you that while your wife’s needs are different from your needs, they are just as valid.

When I say needs, I mean what she needs from you to feel loved and cared for. You do want her to feel loved and cared for, don’t you?

We tend to dismiss our wife’s needs because they are different. We don’t understand why they’re important because we don’t understand what’s behind them. We may not consciously dismiss her needs, but odds are we don’t see her needs to be as valid as our needs. And that hurts her and damages our marriage.

Even if her needs are based on fear, trauma, or lack from her childhood years, they are valid. Failing to meet those needs won’t make them go away. She may stop asking, but that doesn’t mean she is less hurt by not having the needs met. 

On the other hand, if you meet needs that are based on her past, you put her in a better place to deal with what’s behind those needs. Over time, some of those needs will fade away. And new healthier needs may arise.

Either you meet her needs, or you do not. And why you do or don’t is irrelevant to her.

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The post Different, Possibly Confusing, But Totally Valid first appeared on The Generous Husband.