Divorce Dialogues

Katherine Miller
  • 4.6 (12)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Biweekly

Divorce Dialogues helps people navigate divorce with dignity, clarity, and perspective. Through thoughtful conversations with experts and practitioners, the show explores the emotional, financial, legal, and relational realities of divorce, so listeners can make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and move forward with greater confidence. Because divorce is more than a legal transaction, it’s a deeply human transition.

  1. 2d ago

    Better Divorce Settlements Start With One Question | Katherine Miller, The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

    What if the thing you're fighting hardest for in your divorce isn't actually what you need? In this episode of the Emotionally Savvy Divorce series, Katherine Miller, family lawyer, mediator, and author of The Emotionally Savvy Divorce, breaks down one of the most useful distinctions in any negotiation: positions versus interests. Most people walk into divorce already certain of what they want. Katherine explains why that certainty is often standing in the way of a better outcome. Using real mediation stories, including a custody case built around a family's summer vacation home, Katherine shows how asking "why does this matter to me?" can turn a stalemate into a solution neither side saw coming. Listen in for a conversation about why letting go of a position isn't losing, and how understanding your real interests opens up possibilities that arguing over demands never will. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the thing you ask for in divorce often isn't the thing you actually needHow to tell the difference between a position and an interestThe four-prong test for identifying what really matters to youHow reframing a demand can turn a stuck negotiation into a shared problem to solveHighlights: (00:00) Meet Katherine Miller (02:07) Part One: We confuse positions with needs (03:37) What an interest actually is, and why it matters (05:16) Part Two: We become attached to one solution (06:44) Unpacking what a position, like staying in the house, is really giving you (08:40) Part Three: Discovering the interest beneath the position (10:29) The four-prong test for naming your real interest (13:11) Part Four: A real-life example, the vacation home custody case (16:35) Episode guide questions About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law Group Katherine's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/ Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/ More on her book "The Emotionally Savvy Divorce" at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Better Divorce Settlements Start With One Question | Katherine Miller, The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

  2. Aug 6

    Why Fairness Is a Trap in Divorce | Katherine Miller on The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

    What if the thing you're fighting for in your divorce is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode of the Emotionally Savvy Divorce series, Katherine Miller, divorce attorney, mediator, and author, unpacks why "fair" might be the most dangerous word in a divorce negotiation. Katherine explains why two reasonable people can go through the same divorce and both walk away feeling wronged, and why chasing fairness often costs more in legal fees, time, and happiness than it's worth. Drawing on a real client story involving betrayal and a long, hard-won path to rebuilding, she shows what happens when someone finally lets go of being right in favor of moving forward. Tune in for a mindset shift that could change how you approach every hard conversation left in your divorce. In this episode, you'll learn: Why fairness is a personal experience, not an objective factThe difference between fighting to be right and fighting to be happyWhy the legal process can't give you emotional closureThree questions to ask yourself before your next difficult conversationHighlights:(00:00) Introducing the Emotionally Savvy Divorce series (01:35) Part one: The problem (03:05) Why fairness is personal, not objective (03:58) Part two: The trap (04:35) Would you rather be right or be happy? (05:55) The recognition trap: why both people feel wronged (06:41) Divorce as a legal process vs. an emotional one (09:09) Part three: From fair to workable (11:40) Compromise isn't failure, it's negotiation (12:52) A real story: rebuilding life after serial betrayal (16:49) Reflection: Why fairness is a trap in Divorce About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law GroupKatherine's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/More on her book "The Emotionally Savvy Divorce" at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Why Fairness Is a Trap in Divorce | Katherine Miller on The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

  3. Jul 30

    Choosing Dignity Over Winning: Katherine Miller on The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

    Divorce doesn't have to be measured by who wins. What if success meant something entirely different? In this episode, Katherine Miller, divorce attorney, mediator, and author, opens her Emotionally Savvy Divorce series by redefining what a successful divorce actually looks like — not in the courtroom, but in the life you build afterward. Most people never stop to define what winning a divorce would even mean. Katherine explains why so many clients default to protecting the house, the custody schedule, or their pride, and how those goals are really just reactions, not a definition of success. She walks through why the winner-loser framing of divorce is largely false, why chasing it can cost far more than it's worth, and how holding onto resentment rarely brings the relief people expect. Tune in for a conversation about shifting the focus from what you're fighting against to what you're actually building, and why the decisions you make today are votes for the life you want after divorce is over. In this episode, you'll learn: Why most people confuse strategy and reaction with a real definition of success;Why the winner-loser framing of divorce rarely reflects reality;How to identify what you're actually protecting — and whether your actions align with it; andThree questions to ask yourself before every major divorce decision Highlights:(00:00) Introducing the Emotionally Savvy Divorce series (03:38) Part one: The problem (03:40) Why most people never define what success means(04:59) The false assumption of winners and losers (06:06) Part two: The trap(06:08) How chasing "winning" becomes the wrong goal (07:09) Untangling your identity from your marriage (09:28) Part three: The new definition of success (09:31) Divorce as a legal, emotional, and family transition (13:13) Finding your priorities before the deal-making begins (16:28) Part four: A real life example(16:31) Marcy's story: rebuilding life after betrayal(19:19) What a successful divorce looks like(19:40) The Reframe: three questions to ask yourself About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law GroupKatherine’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/ Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/More on her book “The Emotionally Savvy Divorce” at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Choosing Dignity Over Winning: Katherine Miller on The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

  4. Jul 23

    Don't Use AI for Divorce Until You Watch This | Jamie Lima of SecureSplit

    Divorce isn't just a legal problem, it's an emotional one too—so what happens when people start bringing that problem to AI before they bring it to anyone else? In this episode, @Jamie Lima, divorce financial specialist and co-founder of SecureSplit, unpacks why so many people are turning to AI first during divorce, sometimes before they've spoken to a lawyer, therapist, or financial advisor, and what that shift actually means for their outcomes. Drawing on his own divorce and his work helping clients navigate the financial side of separation, Jamie makes the case that AI can be a genuinely useful tool for organizing thoughts, managing emotional communication, and understanding complex documents. But he's equally clear about where it becomes dangerous. Tune in for a grounded conversation about prompting AI the right way, why "trust but verify" should be the rule for anything AI tells you about your case, and why no amount of technology replaces having real people in your corner during one of the hardest transitions of your life. In this episode, you'll learn: Why people are turning to AI before they contact any divorce professional;How to prompt AI correctly so it gives you useful, accurate information instead of generic answers;Where AI can genuinely help with divorce-related emotional and financial complexity; andWhy relying on AI for legal outcomes or replacing your support system can lead to costly mistakes Highlights:(00:00) Meet Jamie Lima(03:02) How AI could have changed Jamie's own divorce(07:02) Why treating AI like Google is a big mistake(08:50) Why AI learning your voice is a double-edged sword(10:34) The emotional need AI fills, and the risk of it placating you(12:56) Always ask for citations: the case of the disbarred attorney(14:32) Where AI gets it right (17:00) Why AI creates a false sense of certainty about legal outcomes(18:27) The best way to use AI to review your lawyer's work(23:08) The Reframe: AI should not replace human professional advice(24:55) Why surrounding yourself with a real support team still matters About our guest, Jamie LimaLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamielima/  SecureSplit: https://securesplit.com/ About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law GroupKatherine’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/ Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/More on her book “The Emotionally Savvy Divorce” at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Don't Use AI for Divorce Until You Watch This | Jamie Lima of SecureSplit

  5. Jul 16

    Ronald Platt on Why Post-Divorce Growth Requires the Discomfort You’re Avoiding

    Divorce recovery isn't about getting over your marriage. It's about building something new after it. In this episode, Ronald Platt, CEO of the National Association for Single and Divorced Families (NASDF), talks about what actually happens once the paperwork is signed and the legal process ends. Most people prepare for the legal side of divorce for months, sometimes years. Almost no one prepares for what comes after. Ronald walks through the real challenges that show up once the ink dries: learning to live alone, coordinating a co-parenting relationship you never planned for, rebuilding a sense of community, and figuring out who you are outside the marriage. He also shares his own story of financial collapse and personal reinvention after his divorce, and what it taught him about getting through the hardest stretch of a life transition. Tune in for a grounded, hopeful conversation about why divorce is the start of a new chapter, not just the end of one, and what it actually takes to build a life you recognize as your own. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the hardest part of divorce often begins after the legal process ends;How to rebuild community and connection when isolation sets in;What healthy co-parenting requires that most people don't expect; andWhy rushing into a new relationship can keep you repeating old patterns Highlights:(00:00) Meet Ronald Platt (02:38) What people are least prepared for after divorce (03:52) Learning to live alone again (04:53) Why isolation hits men and women differently (06:22) Co-parenting and staying connected for your kids' sake (09:11) Why rushing into a new relationship can backfire (12:14) Rebuilding your finances after a shared household (14:42) Overcoming the fear of loneliness and putting yourself out there (19:18) Why this generation struggles to connect in person (20:08) What kids need most during the transition (22:07) The most common mistake: overcompensating instead of showing up (23:22) Finding hope when the future feels uncertain (27:25) The one belief about divorce recovery you need to let go of About our guest, Ronald PlattWebsite: https://www.nasdf.org/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ronald-platt-a6b49016/ About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law GroupKatherine’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/ Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/More on her book “The Emotionally Savvy Divorce” at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Ronald Platt on Why Post-Divorce Growth Requires the Discomfort You’re Avoiding

  6. Jul 9

    After the Divorce: Rebuilding Your Sense of Self with Barbara Parker

    Think the divorce was the hardest part? Wait until you hear this. In this episode, BF Empowerment CEO Barbara Parker, relationship coach, licensed mental health therapist, and author of A Powerful Divorce, walks through what it actually takes to rebuild after a marriage ends, not just the legal paperwork, but the identity, trust, and boundaries that have to be reconstructed from scratch. Barbara argues that divorce rarely announces itself as one clean decision. There's the legal process, yes, but underneath it sits an emotional, financial, and spiritual unraveling that most people don't see coming until they're in it. She talks openly about her own divorce, the mistakes she made assuming a low-cost dissolution would be enough, and how that experience shaped her work helping clients recognize the childhood patterns and blind spots that led them into unhealthy relationships in the first place. Tune in for a conversation about why healing after divorce isn't about getting back to who you were, but discovering who you're becoming, and why the people who thrive are usually the ones willing to reconnect with themselves first. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the legal process is often the easiest part of divorce, not the hardest;How childhood wounds and family patterns quietly shape who we choose to love;The financial and safety planning that has to happen before someone can safely leave; andWhat actually separates people who stay stuck from people who rebuild Highlights: (00:00) Meet Barbara Parker (02:50) What inspired Barbara to write A Powerful Divorce (05:04) The emotional, financial, and spiritual aftermath nobody warns you about (07:16) How family of origin creates blind spots in relationships (08;59) The financial realities of leaving, including safety planning for domestic violence (12:09) What separates the people who thrive from the people who stay stuck (20:50) The biggest boundary mistakes people make during and after divorce (26:05) The Reframe: why "I'll never love again" isn't true (27:09) A client's transformation from crisis to thriving About our guest, Barbara ParkerLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/queenblparker/ BF Empowerment Center: https://www.bfempowerment.comAbout Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law GroupKatherine's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/More on her book "The Emotionally Savvy Divorce" at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    After the Divorce: Rebuilding Your Sense of Self with Barbara Parker

  7. Jul 2

    Divorce Financial Planning: How to Stop Making Decisions Out of Fear with Gabriella Martinelli

    Divorce is a financial restructuring, but most people only treat it as a legal battle. In this episode, Gabriella Martinelli, divorce financial strategist and founder of Ever After Wealth, sits down with Katherine and breaks down why financial decisions made during divorce are so hard to get right, and what it takes to make them well. Gabriella's central argument is deceptively simple: divorce is a high-stakes financial restructuring disguised as a legal event, constantly hijacked by emotions. The problem isn’t rooted in people being irrational; it's that they're being asked to make permanent financial decisions while living through temporary emotions. Tune in for a conversation about what financial clarity actually looks like during divorce, why money is a tool and not a prize, and how understanding your numbers can shift you from fear-driven decisions to ones that build toward the life you actually want. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why financial fear during divorce is rarely about the money itself;How emotions override even the most experienced, successful decision-makers;What to do first if you have no idea where your finances stand; andHow a clear financial plan changes the way you negotiate—and the outcome you walk away with Highlights: (00:00) Meet Gabriella Martinelli (03:00) Why divorce doesn't walk through the door alone (06:12) Permanent decisions, temporary emotions (09:58) What financial fear is really about (13:00) How information replaces anxiety (17:00) When emotions override business owners and executives (22:05) Where to start when you don't know your numbers (25:14) What separates people who feel empowered from those who stay stuck (26:01) A real case: from "just say yes" to a successful counter-offer (29:35) The mindset reframe that changes everything (31:15) What surprises Gabriella most after years in this work About our guest, Gabriella Martinelli Website: everafterwealth.com  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabriellamartinelli-divorce-financial-strategist/   About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law Group Katherine’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/  Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/ More on her book “The Emotionally Savvy Divorce” at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Divorce Financial Planning: How to Stop Making Decisions Out of Fear with Gabriella Martinelli

  8. Jun 25

    Andrew O'Brien on Why Divorced Dads Need Community

    Most divorce conversations center on paperwork, parenting plans, and finances. The loneliness fathers carry through that process rarely gets a seat at the table. In this episode, Andrew O'Brien, founder of Dad Tribes, talks openly about what men actually go through when a family separates — the silence of an empty house, the loss of a social life that was built around a relationship, and the quiet guilt of feeling like your needs shouldn't take up space. Andrew is living it in real time: he moved into a new home days before this conversation was recorded, six kids and a minivan's worth of belongings in tow. Together, Katherine and Andrew get into why so many fathers wait years — sometimes a decade — before leaving a relationship they know isn't working, why anger becomes the default emotion when men don't have community to process what's happening, and what it actually looks like when a dad finds his people again. This is a conversation about what fathers need to hear before, during, and after divorce — and why the support they build around themselves matters as much to their kids as it does to them. In this episode, you'll learn: Why "if my kids are happy, I'm happy" is a mindset that backfires — on the kids and the father;What happens emotionally when the social life a couple built together disappears overnight;Why men often stay in relationships far longer than they should, and what keeps them there;How to take the first steps toward rebuilding community after separation; andWhat children actually gain when their fathers stop pretending everything is fine Highlights: (00:00) Meet Andrew O’Brien and Dad Tribes(05:48) Rebuilding from Nothing: Andrew's Own Separation (08:26) Why Isolation Is the Biggest Hidden Struggle (13:12) When Men Are Treated Like an ATM (14:44) How Loneliness Shapes Parenting During Divorce (15:53) How to Start Rebuilding Community (18:21) A Father's Emotional Health and a Child's Wellbeing (20:11) Common Misconceptions About Divorced Fathers (23:12) What Every Father Should Know Before Divorce (24:25) Reframing Divorce as an Expansion, Not a Breaking (25:37) What Happens When Dads Finally Find Their People About our guest, Andrew O’BrienWebsite: https://www.dadtribes.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-obrien-dad-tribes/ About Divorce Dialogues and Miller Law GroupKatherine’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/ Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/More on her book “The Emotionally Savvy Divorce” at: https://katherinemiller.com/book/

    Andrew O'Brien on Why Divorced Dads Need Community
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4.6
out of 5
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About

Divorce Dialogues helps people navigate divorce with dignity, clarity, and perspective. Through thoughtful conversations with experts and practitioners, the show explores the emotional, financial, legal, and relational realities of divorce, so listeners can make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and move forward with greater confidence. Because divorce is more than a legal transaction, it’s a deeply human transition.

Information

  • Creator
    Katherine Miller
  • Years Active
    2015 - 2026
  • Episodes
    283
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © All rights reserved
  • Show Website
    Divorce Dialogues

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