Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

Do Not Scratch Your Eyes
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Soccer
  • Updated Weekly

Ever wondered what it’s really like to support Watford FC? Well now you can find out as Justin, Carl and Peter guide you through the highs and lows with the help of fellow fans, ex-players and celebrity hornets. We are a podcast by stupid fans for fans who have patience and a low level of expectations as to what a podcast should deliver. This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

  1. 1d ago

    WATFORD V PRESTON NE | OPPOSITION VIEW

    Preston at home, so we’re joined once again by Ollie from the Butter Pie Podcast, who arrives “living the dream” while Preston sit pointless at the bottom of the Championship before Saturday win over Blackburn. We discuss former Hornet Caleb Wiley providing one small glimmer of hope, the loss of Ben Whiteman and Milutin Osmajić, and a rebuilt strike force currently boasting the reassuring total of one Championship goal between them. There are promising noises about Léo Leroy and Preston’s right-hand side, considerably fewer about Dilano Burgzorg — currently described as “more like Zoidberg from Futurama” — while Ollie admits they’ve been “absolutely honking.” Remarkably, two sets of supporters then bond over questionable recruitment, injured signings and the exciting possibility that neither club entirely knows what it has assembled. Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League faces perhaps its greatest constitutional crisis yet (and there's been a few to choose from). Original Backgammon FC founder John Parslow returns with a proposal involving a Phoenix club, some dice, a cardboard box and extremely limited resources. With the league currently consisting of five teams, the potentially momentous decision over whether it expands to six is handed, entirely reasonably, to Preston supporter Ollie. What could possibly go wrong? COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    WATFORD V PRESTON NE | OPPOSITION VIEW

  2. 1d ago

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 2 | WBAFC 1-0 WFC

    Part Two begins with Groundhog Day looming and the discovery that Dionisi may be approaching the Rob Edwards Barometer considerably earlier than anybody wanted. Tuesday therefore becomes Huge Day, before being upgraded to Super Huge Day, while the proposed tactical solution to Watford’s goalscoring problem is eventually refined to Mattie Pollock at the back and nine forwards. Guardiola presumably taking notes. We also receive possible divine intervention: John has a priest friend coming over from America who supported Watford through the Graham Taylor years and may therefore possess exactly the Championship experience the recruitment department forgot to buy. Elsewhere, injured dogs are identified as potential free-agent full-backs, Rocco Vata is considered at wing-back and Myron Boadu is asked to concentrate very specifically on thinking inside the box. Finally, Adam describes the club as “circus, clowns”, Kaiden awards Watford’s transfer window a GCSE grade 3, offers to sign Dave from down the road for midfield and calls Scott Duxbury something unlikely to appear in the official club podcast. After two hours discussing a 1–0 defeat we thought might fill one, the conclusion is simple: the football’s better, the squad’s held together with Blu Tack, and somehow we still quite like the team COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 2 | WBAFC 1-0 WFC

  3. 2d ago

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 1 | WBAFC 1-0 WFC

    Watford lose 1–0 at West Brom, but apparently we’re now a much more likeable team, which is fortunate because we’re becoming increasingly difficult to assemble. Four injured full-backs means Albert Eames gets introduced to Championship football at the Hawthorns, Kayembe becomes an emergency left-back and Dionisi starts eyeing the crowd to see if anybody has brought boots. There are encouraging debuts for Koulibaly and Mavididi, concern as Bove goes down injured, and several callers conclude that Watford are actually playing quite well — apart from the increasingly inconvenient business of scoring goals. Meanwhile, Kebben’s distribution is compared to wearing Toblerones for football boots and Ron conducts part of his analysis while taking his son to a Pokémon shop. Naturally, this develops into Manchester City’s academy system, Stoke’s ownership, financial regulation, EPPP, Scott Duxbury’s interpretation of the English language and whether Watford’s recruitment policy involves rummaging through a skip for slightly damaged footballers. Five games into the season, we’ve already reached “is Tuesday enormous?” territory. Completely normal. Nothing to see here. COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 1 | WBAFC 1-0 WFC

  4. 5d ago

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PART TWO | SCFC2-0 WFC

    PART TWO Then the transfer window starts behaving like Supermarket Sweep for footballers. Having had approximately seven weeks to buy some centre-backs, Watford suddenly remember with minutes remaining that this might be useful. Samuela Coulibaly arrives. Stephy Mavididi arrives. Other deals apparently die in corridors. We monitor proceedings live while increasingly expecting someone to announce Lulu on a season-long loan because she once sang Boom Bang-a-Bang. Elsewhere, Luke from Swans Cast joins while eating McDonald’s, congratulates us politely and then casually suggests our new signing may have failed a Swansea medical. Ellie advocates footballing polygamy, Noah forgets Ike Bravo exists, Myron Boadu signs during the conversation, and we accidentally invent a future feature about elderly Watford players. A perfectly normal post-match phone-in conducted during the final hour of deadline day. COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PART TWO | SCFC2-0 WFC

  5. 6d ago

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PART 1 | SCFC 2-0 WFC

    PART ONE Swansea 2, Watford 0. The better team won, which inconveniently leaves us without anyone to blame. We discuss the enormous Bove-shaped hole in midfield, Watford’s inability to match Swansea’s pace and power, and some genuinely encouraging signs. Meanwhile, Pete Ryan reports from captivity in a Swansea car park and somehow B.A. Robertson becomes part of the tactical analysis. Then the transfer window starts behaving like Supermarket Sweep for footballers. Having had approximately seven weeks to buy some centre-backs, Watford suddenly remember with minutes remaining that this might be useful. Samaila Coulibaly arrives. Stephy Mavididi arrives. Other deals apparently die in corridors. We monitor proceedings live while increasingly expecting someone to announce Lulu on a season-long loan because she once sang Boom Bang-a-Bang. COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PART 1 | SCFC 2-0 WFC

  6. 6d ago

    WEST BROM V WATFORD OPPOSITION VIEW

    West Brom away, so we welcome back Kev — a man dragged into the DNSYE universe years ago when another guest failed to turn up and an innocent phone call suddenly required him to predict Leeds v Watford. He inexplicably continues answering our calls. We discuss James Morrison, renewed Baggies optimism and the revolutionary concept of signing players from Britain. West Brom have refreshed their squad and, more importantly, assembled an outstanding collection of names, with Jimmy-Jay Morgan already making a compelling bid for DNSYE’s Silliest Named Signing award. We discuss the new-look Baggies, Black Country rivalries and eventually wander into whether modern football is slowly replacing its traditional crowd with a rather better-behaved audience. It gets sweary. Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League returns as Kev confidently backs West Brom, Justin wins a coin toss yet somehow still avoids making a decision, and Backgammon FC is officially renamed The Gods of Backgammon after Brett abandons dice for double basses, three-pin plugs and random strangers. Football analysis this is not. Consumer advice remains equally unlikely. COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    WEST BROM V WATFORD OPPOSITION VIEW

  7. Aug 30

    SWANSEA CITY V WATFORD | THE OPPOSITION VIEW

    Swansea away. On a Tuesday night. Obviously. We preview another delightful dash down the M4 by speaking to Luke from Swans Cast, who appears worryingly optimistic about Swansea’s summer recruitment, their new signings and Alan Matos’ developing side. Meanwhile, we successfully establish that the transfer window definitely closes at some point. Probably. Both sides seemingly want to press, counter quickly and preferably let the opposition have the ball, potentially creating 90 minutes of “No, after you.” We also briefly revisit the Peterborough cup debacle, question Watford’s squad depth and wonder whether Alessio Dionisi might eventually receive the centre-backs he keeps asking for. Radical recruitment strategy, admittedly. Finally, it’s the DNSYE Completely Rubbish Prediction League, featuring predictions based on actual football knowledge, optimism and — in Backgammon FC’s case — a water bottle and a three-pin plug. Luke fancies Swansea, Justin devises a cunning plan, and absolutely nobody should consider any of this remotely useful betting advice or advice in general - especially if you are wondering what to do with a water bottle and a 3 pin plug!! COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    SWANSEA CITY V WATFORD | THE OPPOSITION VIEW

  8. Aug 30

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 2 | WATFORD 1-1 WEST HAM

    Part 2 of the reaction after a bewlidering and rain sodden draw but a lot of pride in the player, Dionisi and an eye on the window shutting on Tuesday night. Ben thinks we're all entitled whingers and others see things differently - and that's alright, one thing we all have in common - no one saw 5 points from this first three games!! COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 2 | WATFORD 1-1 WEST HAM
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5
out of 5
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About

Ever wondered what it’s really like to support Watford FC? Well now you can find out as Justin, Carl and Peter guide you through the highs and lows with the help of fellow fans, ex-players and celebrity hornets. We are a podcast by stupid fans for fans who have patience and a low level of expectations as to what a podcast should deliver. This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

Information

  • Creator
    Do Not Scratch Your Eyes
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    970
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright Do Not Scratch Your Eyes
  • Show Website
    Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

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