Does This Work?

Each month, writers gather for feedback at Script Lab
Laurie Slattery, who discovered Savage Wonder's Script Lab online and appreciated the nonprofit's focus on veterans, showed up for the first time at a workshop last month.
Her grandfather stormed Iwo Jima with the Marines, and her nephew served in Iraq. "I wrote some poetry and a script that I had to retrieve from an old computer," she says. After moving to Beacon three years ago, "it took me a while to get my nerve up, but I need some enlightenment and to be around creative people."
During the three-hour session, Slattery observed as the group read, then mildly critiqued several script excerpts. Suggestions are delivered with a positive spirit; nothing gets carved up.
Francis Kielbe, who had made revisions based on feedback from the previous Script Lab meeting, listened to "Version 2.0" of his screenplay about depressed monsters attending an AA-style gathering.
Rob Barron, a regular who teaches theater at The City College of New York, suggested that Kielbe consider "character directions. Do you want the vampire to be like Bela Lugosi or some frat boy? What kind of zombie are you looking for?"
Topher Kage, an actor, writer, Army veteran and director of experience at Savage Wonder, plays a genial and gentle host who asks writers, "What do you want to get out of this?"
Most come to hear the dialogue outside of their heads. Lauren O'Brien, who created the one-woman Lolo's Boyfriend Show, is writing a TV pilot. "Early in the process, it's hard to tell what you have. Does it hit with people? Is it confusing?" she asks. "The lab helps you see what works and what doesn't work. I'm ready to feel it."
O'Brien, who lives in Beacon, heard buzz about the gathering and decided to take the plunge. "I'm a sensitive artist, but we always need feedback," she says.
As Kage read the opening scene at a frantic pace, O'Brien pressed play on a phone soundtrack as her alter ego darted around Manhattan, chased by a mystery man wearing expensive shoes.
As much as the creators enjoy hearing people read their work, several attendees show up to bring the scripts alive. Cold and semi-cold readings notwithstanding, volunteers keep things moving.
Animating one of Barron's scenes, Beacon resident Lily Cabe played a waitress with aplomb, supporting O'Brien and Ted Swindley, author of Always … Patsy Cline, who poured on the smarm as a rogue substance abuser with three ex-wives and a prison bid on his resume.
Swindley also dug into his role as an air traffic controller in Kage's script, a 10-minute play presented with authentic sound effects. "I like to work the acting muscle," says Swindley, who also provides advice.
Time limits for individual works are loose, but everyone gets an equitable shot depending on the work's length and merit. Kielbe's monster mash lasted four pages; others are more elaborate.
"We get excellent feedback from skilled people, and I'm honored to get the attention," says O'Brien. "This vortex of creativity and sharing with others is like being close to God. I feel like I'm part of something."
Script Lab is held at 6 p.m. for writers ages 21 and older on the first Wednesday of each month at Savage Wonder, 141 Main St., in Beacon. The next sessions are July 1 and Aug. 5. See dub.sh/script-lab.