Doing Divorce Different with Lesa Koski

Lesa Koski
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Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—this podcast is your guide to a healthier, faith-filled life transition. Hosted by family law attorney, mediator, and life coach Lesa Koski, each episode is designed to take the fear out of major life change and guide you toward peace—whether you’re facing separation, navigating a divorce, working to strengthen your relationship, or rebuilding your life in midlife. You’ll get heart-centered legal clarity, emotional support, and practical tools to help you heal, grow, and move forward with confidence. Topics include: Peaceful divorce strategies and mediation support Co-parenting help and parenting plans that actually work Prenups, postnups, and how to protect what matters most Emotional healing, mindset shifts, and confidence after a hard season Menopause, health changes, and how midlife affects mood, marriage, and motivation Wellness basics that make a real difference: rest, nutrition, movement, strength, and community This is more than a show about endings—it’s about becoming the woman who rises stronger, steadier, and clearer on the other side. About the Host: Lesa has spent over 25 years helping families through mediation and family law, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. She’s also a breast cancer survivor, wellness advocate, cowgirl at heart, and follower of Jesus who believes your hardest season can become your greatest comeback. If you’re craving practical guidance, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about rebuilding life after 40, you’re in the right place. Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

  1. 4D AGO

    How to Calm Anxiety Fast During Divorce: Nervous System Reset Tools (with DNA Expert Elaine “Lane” Kennedy)

    Divorce stress, anxiety relief, nervous system regulation—this episode shares practical tools to calm anxiety fast during divorce for women over 40. If divorce stress has you spinning out, this conversation will help you regulate your nervous system, calm anxiety fast, and find clarity in the moment. Host Lesa Koski welcomes DNA nutritionist and mindfulness teacher Elaine “Lane” Kennedy to talk nervous system regulation, stress management, and how lifestyle habits influence gene expression. You’ll learn what to do when self-coaching feels impossible, why movement can help more than journaling in traumatic moments, and how support and community help you navigate divorce stress with more calm and confidence. If you’re a woman over 40 navigating divorce, anxiety, and overwhelm, this episode offers real tools and hope—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback. Timestamps (in parentheses):(Note: Adjust to match your final edit timecodes.) (00:00) Welcome + why this episode matters for divorce stress and anxiety(02:10) Meet Elaine “Lane” Kennedy: DNA nutritionist + mindfulness teacher(06:00) The “white truck” moment: how stress shows up before we notice(11:20) Why “pause” is the first step in nervous system regulation(16:10) When “feeling your feelings” is too much: what to do instead(19:45) Move your body to calm anxiety fast: shaking, walking, getting outside(24:30) Why trauma shouldn’t be handled alone: community and co-regulation(30:10) Protecting your peace when a partner is dysregulated(36:40) DNA testing + gene expression: why one-size-fits-all wellness advice fails(44:20) Alcohol, anxiety, and stress: why it often makes things worse(49:10) The missing piece: fun, joy, and nervous system healing in midlife(55:30) Closing encouragement + how to connect with Lane Key Takeaways:Pause first: nervous system regulation creates clarity when divorce stress is high.Move before you process: in traumatic moments, movement can calm anxiety faster than journaling.Co-regulation matters: hard seasons feel lighter when you’re supported by safe people.Protect your peace: you are not responsible for regulating your partner’s emotions.Personalized wellness wins: DNA-informed lifestyle changes can support long-term health and resilience. Guest Bio:Elaine “Lane” Kennedy is a California-based DNA nutritionist and mindfulness teacher who helps people reduce stress, regulate the nervous system, and support health through personalized lifestyle...

    39 min
  2. The 3 Things You Must Know Before You Divorce (From a Divorce Mediator)

    FEB 3

    The 3 Things You Must Know Before You Divorce (From a Divorce Mediator)

    Divorce mediation can save you time, money, and emotional stress. Learn how divorce mediation works, why mediation matters, and how to divorce with dignity and peace. If you’re facing divorce, this episode walks you through exactly why divorce mediation may be the smartest first step you take. As an attorney, mediator, and life coach, Lesa shares how divorce mediation helps couples avoid court battles, reduce legal costs, and protect their kids while keeping their dignity intact. You’ll learn the 3 powerful reasons divorce mediation works better than litigation — plus the 3 big decisions you should make before filing paperwork so you feel prepared instead of overwhelmed. This is real, compassionate guidance for women and families who want to do divorce differently — calmer, smarter, and with less damage. Because midlife isn’t your crisis… it’s your comeback. Timestamps:(00:00) Welcome + why divorce feels so heavy (02:10) Why Lesa returned to mediation after stepping away (04:05) What a divorce mediator actually does (and how it’s different from attorneys) (06:30) Reason #1: Mediation saves time (08:12) Reason #2: Mediation saves money (09:45) Reason #3: Mediation protects your peace and dignity (12:20) The 3 decisions to make before starting divorce (13:00) Dividing assets: homes, 401(k)s, pensions explained (18:40) Maintenance/spousal support basics (22:15) Child support + parenting plans (25:30) Why mediation is critical for co-parenting (28:10) Parenting plan course + free masterclass (30:00) Encouragement for high-conflict or difficult co-parenting situations (32:20) Final thoughts: doing divorce with dignity + where to get help Key Takeaways:• Divorce mediation helps you avoid costly court battles • You can save thousands of dollars by reaching agreements together • Calm communication leads to better long-term co-parenting • Decide finances, income/maintenance, and parenting plans early • Divorce doesn’t have to be a war — it can be handled with dignity Guest Bio:Lesa Koski is an attorney, divorce mediator, life coach, and host of Doing Divorce Different. With decades of legal and mediation experience, she helps women and families navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Her mission is simple: help people protect their peace, their finances, and their kids while creating a healthier next chapter. Resource Links:🌿 Work with Lesa (mediation + coaching): https://lesakoski.com DIY Parenting Plan Course Find More From Lesa Here! Sign up for my newsletter https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyj Tags/Keywords:divorce mediation, divorce help, divorce process, divorce support for women, co parenting tips, mediation vs divorce lawyer, peaceful divorce, divorce coaching, family mediation, child custody help, midlife transitions, women over 40 divorce, divorce advice, divorce podcast, how to divorce peacefully

    23 min
  3. Core Wounds Healing: Stop People-Pleasing & Rewire Your Patterns (Divorce & Beyond)

    JAN 27

    Core Wounds Healing: Stop People-Pleasing & Rewire Your Patterns (Divorce & Beyond)

    Core wounds healing + nervous system rewiring for women over 40. In this episode, JJ Flizanes joins Lesa Koski to unpack core wounds healing, the “core wound map,” and how your subconscious beliefs shape people-pleasing, abandonment fears, and everyday triggers. You’ll learn why core wounds healing isn’t just awareness—it’s rewiring, stretching past comfort zones, and building new neural pathways. JJ shares how core wounds healing can change your patterns in real time, and why choosing yourself is the pathway out of abandonment loops. Plus, a powerful look at 2026’s “Year of the Fire Horse” energy—movement, action, and expansion after a season of shedding. If you’re navigating midlife change, divorce recovery, emotional healing, or you’re ready to stop spiraling and start choosing you, this conversation will meet you right where you are. Timestamps (in parentheses):(These are listener-friendly timestamps—adjust to match your final audio.) (00:00) Welcome + why JJ is a “big deal” and where to find her work (02:10) Lesa’s healing journey + why the Core Wounds course mattered (05:10) JJ explains core wounds as subconscious beliefs (and why therapy can stall) (10:40) The “core wound map” + why people process differently (moon signs + patterns) (16:30) Why awareness isn’t always enough: rewiring requires stretching (20:30) The “video that made her cry” example + how the brain flags “unsafe” (24:40) Neuroplasticity story: cats in an RV + how the brain learns “I didn’t die” (28:40) Lesa gets real: people-pleasing, overexplaining, and tiny daily triggers (33:10) Abandonment wound: the belief underneath it + “How do you abandon yourself?” (38:15) “Choose you” homework: one daily small step + one bigger weekly stretch (42:30) Healing in relationship vs healing alone + the power of mirroring (47:10) Tribe + community: why group energy accelerates growth (50:25) 2025 shedding → 2026 Year of the Fire Horse begins Feb 17, 2026 (55:10) How to work with JJ + her application link + closing Key Takeaways:Core wounds are subconscious beliefs that shape how you see yourself and relationships—often without you realizing it.Awareness is step one, but rewiring requires action that stretches your comfort zone and builds new neural pathways.People-pleasing and overexplaining can be signs of an abandonment pattern—your nervous system trying to stay “safe.”Healing isn’t just emotional; it’s nervous-system and behavior change, practiced moment-to-moment and proactively.Community matters: being in a tribe of people on a similar growth path keeps your “coal” warm and your progress moving. Guest Bio:JJ Flizanes is a personal development coach, podcast host, and creator of emotional healing programs focused on identifying and rewiring subconscious patterns. She developed the Core Wound Map, expanding on the core wound exercise from Imago therapy, and continues to teach tools for emotional resilience, nervous system awareness, and practical rewiring strategies. Resource Links:DIY Parenting Plan Course Find More From Lesa Here! Sign up for my newsletter  https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyj a href="http://jjflizanes.com/lesa" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

    37 min
  4. Choosing Yourself After Trauma: Healing Childhood Loss, Miscarriage & Generational Pain with Life Coach Vivian Moyo

    JAN 20

    Choosing Yourself After Trauma: Healing Childhood Loss, Miscarriage & Generational Pain with Life Coach Vivian Moyo

    Healing from trauma, childhood grief, miscarriage, and generational pain starts with one step: choosing yourself. In this powerful episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski talks with life coach Vivian Moyo about healing trauma, the impact of losing a parent young, how silence in families creates emotional wounds, and how choosing yourself becomes an act of self-love. Vivian shares her story of childhood loss, two devastating miscarriages, and the moment she began her healing journey. If you’re navigating midlife trauma, divorce recovery, grief, anxiety, or a major life change, this conversation will help you feel seen, supported, and hopeful. In this episode, we talk about trauma healing, generational trauma, grief recovery, and how to choose yourself when life feels heavy. Vivian’s message is a reminder that healing is possible—and midlife is not your crisis, it’s your comeback. 🎧 Listen now and share this with a woman who needs encouragement today. In this episode, we talk about trauma healing, generational trauma, grief recovery, and how to choose yourself when life feels heavy. Vivian’s message is a reminder that healing is possible—and midlife is not your crisis, it’s your comeback. 🎧 Listen now and share this with a woman who needs encouragement today. Timestamps:(00:00) Welcome + technical difficulties + introducing life coach Vivian Moyo (02:10) Vivian’s background: born in Zimbabwe, now living in London (04:20) Losing her mother at age three and having no memory of her (07:10) The trauma of family silence and not knowing how her mother died (10:35) Why children need truth, support, and emotional safety (13:50) Generational trauma and how pain gets passed down (16:30) Moving to the UK at 11 and feeling different within the family (20:05) Miscarriage and heartbreak: losing her first pregnancy at five months (22:45) Losing a second pregnancy at five months and reaching a breaking point (25:30) Suicidal thoughts and the “still voice” that changed everything (28:10) Vivian’s calling: helping young girls build confidence and self-worth (31:10) Supporting women through domestic abuse and trauma recovery (33:45) Vivian’s upcoming book: The Invisible Girl (launching in June) (36:10) One powerful tip for self-love: “Choose yourself” (38:05) Final encouragement + how to connect with Vivian Key Takeaways:Trauma can start early, and silence often deepens the woundGenerational trauma is real, but healing can break the cycleGrief and miscarriage loss can create deep emotional pain, but recovery is possibleHealing often begins when we choose support, truth, and self-compassion“Choosing yourself” is one of the strongest acts of self-love and boundary-setting Guest Bio:Vivian Moyo is a London-based life coach, speaker, and founder of women-focused healing initiatives supporting survivors of trauma and domestic abuse. Born in Zimbabwe, Vivian has transformed her personal journey of loss and resilience into a mission to help women heal, build confidence, and reclaim their lives. She is the author of the upcoming book The Invisible Girl, launching in June. Resource Links:Vivian: Youtube Channel : https://www.youtube.com/@MoyoWellnessTherapy TikTok : a...

    32 min
  5. Perimenopause Symptoms Explained: Menopause, Mood, Cholesterol & the New Rules of Women’s Health

    JAN 13

    Perimenopause Symptoms Explained: Menopause, Mood, Cholesterol & the New Rules of Women’s Health

    Perimenopause symptoms can feel confusing—mood swings, brain fog, weight gain, sleep issues, and even cholesterol changes. In this episode, Lesa Koski talks with women’s health journalist and author Meghan Rabbitt about perimenopause vs. menopause, the most common perimenopause symptoms, what’s “normal,” and what deserves a doctor visit. You’ll learn how to track symptoms, ask better questions, and advocate for yourself during the menopause transition. If you’re navigating perimenopause symptoms in midlife, this conversation will help you feel informed, empowered, and supported.(Primary keyword used 3–5x: perimenopause symptoms)Timestamps (in parentheses):(00:00) Welcome + why women’s health needs new rules (02:10) Meghan’s story: writing on women’s health and Maria Shriver’s invitation LinkedIn (06:15) “We are not small men” and what that means for care (10:05) Perimenopause vs. menopause: definitions and the 12-month rule (14:40) Tracking cycles + when bleeding after a year matters (18:30) Perimenopause symptoms you might not connect to hormones (25:10) Mood changes, anxiety, rage, and brain fog (30:55) Vaginal/urinary symptoms and why women should talk about them (36:45) Cholesterol, heart health, and menopause-related risk shifts (42:25) Hormone therapy: what we know now vs. what we feared (49:10) Lifestyle tools that truly help (sleep, stress, strength training) (56:00) The “doctor visit” strategy: list symptoms and prioritize (59:30) Book recap + closing encouragementKey Takeaways:Perimenopause symptoms can include mood changes, brain fog, joint pain, skin changes, and cholesterol shifts—not just hot flashes.You’re not in menopause until you’ve gone 12 full months without a period.Track symptoms and cycles so you can advocate clearly at appointments.Prioritize your top 2–3 concerns for each doctor visit to get better care.Hormone therapy is more nuanced than many women were led to believe; ask informed questions.Guest Bio:Meghan Rabbitt is an award-winning journalist and editor covering women’s health, nutrition, and psychology. She’s an editor and writer at Shriver Media and the author of The New Rules of Women’s Health: Your Guide to Thriving at Every Age (foreword by Maria Shriver).a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/734289/the-new-rules-of-womens-health-by-meghan-rabbitt-foreword-by-maria-shriver/?utm_source=chatgpt.com" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

    36 min
  6. Why We Do Things We Know Aren’t Right for Us (And How to Listen to That Inner Knowing)

    JAN 7

    Why We Do Things We Know Aren’t Right for Us (And How to Listen to That Inner Knowing)

    Why do we do things we know aren’t right for us? In this episode, Lesa Koski shares personal stories—from a disastrous snorkeling trip to an icy ski fall—to explore midlife mindset, intuition, and why ignoring our inner knowing leads to unnecessary pain.Using her S.O.U.L. self-coaching method, Lesa walks through how stillness, surrender, and aligned decisions help women over 40 stop fighting themselves and start living with more clarity. This episode is especially helpful for women navigating divorce, boundaries, people-pleasing, or major life transitions who want to make choices that actually feel right.Timestamps(00:00) Welcome + why the New Year feels like a reset(03:40) The question that won’t leave us alone: why do we go against ourselves?(07:20) The Hawaii snorkeling story (red flags we ignored)(15:10) The icy ski fall + ignoring inner knowing(24:30) How people-pleasing overrides intuition(30:40) Using the S.O.U.L. Method before making decisions(39:00) Purpose vs. obligation: when sacrifice is aligned(48:10) Divorce Clarity 40+ community invitationKey TakeawaysIgnoring inner knowing often leads to unnecessary sufferingPeople-pleasing can override intuitionStillness reveals what we already knowAlignment feels different than obligationPurposeful sacrifice brings peace, not resentmentGuest BioLesa Koski is a former family law attorney turned mediator, divorce coach, and mindset coach. She helps women over 40 navigate divorce, midlife transitions, and emotional overwhelm with clarity, faith, and grounded tools. Lesa is the host of Doing Life Different and creator of the S.O.U.L. Method™.Resource LinksBook a coaching session with Lesa: Find More From Lesa Here!Sign up for my newsletter https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyjMarrie Simpson’s Metabolic Reseta...

    19 min
  7. How to Process Unwanted Feelings After 40 | The S.O.U.L. Method for Emotional Clarity

    12/30/2025

    How to Process Unwanted Feelings After 40 | The S.O.U.L. Method for Emotional Clarity

    How to Process Unwanted Feelings After 40 | The S.O.U.L. Method for Emotional Clarity Episode DescriptionUnwanted feelings after 40 can feel overwhelming—especially during divorce or emotional seasons. In this episode, Lesa shares her S.O.U.L. Method to calm emotions, regulate your nervous system, and move forward with clarity. Learn how to process unwanted feelings, set boundaries, and choose aligned action with faith-based support. This episode is for women navigating divorce, emotional overwhelm, and midlife transitions who want clarity instead of chaos. Timestamps(00:00) Why unwanted feelings surface during the holidays (05:12) Introducing the S.O.U.L. Method (10:08) Stillness and surrendering emotions to God (18:30) Identifying beliefs behind your feelings (26:15) Using empathy and strengths on yourself (34:40) Aligned action and setting guilt-free boundaries (41:50) Divorce Clarity 40+ community invitation Key TakeawaysUnwanted feelings are signals, not failuresStillness helps regulate emotional overwhelmQuestioning beliefs reduces sufferingBoundaries are an act of self-respectSmall aligned actions build self-trust Guest BioLesa Koski is a former family law attorney turned mediator, divorce coach, and mindset coach. She helps women over 40 navigate divorce, emotional overwhelm, and midlife transitions with clarity, faith, and grounded decision-making. Resource LinksBook a coaching session with Lesa: Find More From Lesa Here!Sign up for my newsletter https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyjMarrie Simpson’s Metabolic Resetjjflizanes.com/lesaSign up for my newsletter! https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyjEbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G4B2ZY1W?ref=yb_qv_ov_kndl_dp_rwDivorce Clarity 40+...

    19 min
  8. Forgiveness After 40: How Letting Go Heals Your Heart, Body & Faith

    12/23/2025

    Forgiveness After 40: How Letting Go Heals Your Heart, Body & Faith

    Forgiveness After 40: How Letting Go Heals Your Heart, Body & Faith Episode DescriptionForgiveness after 40 can unlock emotional healing, peace, and renewed faith. In this heartfelt holiday episode, Lesa Koski shares how forgiveness changed her life and helped her release anger, anxiety, and judgment. Through personal stories, faith-based reflection, and practical steps, this episode explores forgiveness as a path to healing—not for others, but for yourself. If you’re navigating divorce, grief, or emotional wounds in midlife, this conversation will help you reconnect with God, reclaim joy, and move forward lighter and freer. (Primary keyword: forgiveness after 40 — used naturally throughout) Timestamps(00:00) Holiday reflections, grief, and why forgiveness matters (04:15) Lessons learned through chaos and childhood stories (10:40) Teaching through stories instead of advice (16:05) Why forgiveness accelerates healing and growth (20:50) Core wounds, stillness, and listening for God (27:30) A faith-based practice for forgiveness and release (35:10) Letting God judge instead of carrying anger (41:45) Forgiveness, health, and emotional freedom (48:20) Forgiving without an apology and finding peace (55:30) Closing reflections and holiday blessing Key TakeawaysForgiveness is a healing practice that frees you, not the other personStillness and prayer help create space to hear God clearlyYou don’t need an apology to forgive and move forwardCarrying anger can impact emotional and physical healthForgiveness opens the door to greater joy, peace, and faith Guest BioLesa Koski is a family law attorney turned mediator, life coach, and host of Doing Life Different. She supports women over 40 navigating divorce, faith, forgiveness, and midlife reinvention with clarity, compassion, and grounded wisdom. Resource LinksCore Wounds Course: JJ Flizanes – https://jjflizanes.com/lesaSign up for Lesa’s Newsletter: https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyjLesa’s Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G4B2ZY1W?ref=yb_qv_ov_kndl_dp_rwPodcast Episode Mentioned: Andy Bull interview on forgiveness and healing (search within the show archive) Andi Bull's episode: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e87157ca-599f-4155-9b7e-3d577d1ee81d/Ja href="https://www.skool.com/divorce-clarity-40-8663/about?ref=0a6121fb1a754a9385d369922b4204ef" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

    16 min
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Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—this podcast is your guide to a healthier, faith-filled life transition. Hosted by family law attorney, mediator, and life coach Lesa Koski, each episode is designed to take the fear out of major life change and guide you toward peace—whether you’re facing separation, navigating a divorce, working to strengthen your relationship, or rebuilding your life in midlife. You’ll get heart-centered legal clarity, emotional support, and practical tools to help you heal, grow, and move forward with confidence. Topics include: Peaceful divorce strategies and mediation support Co-parenting help and parenting plans that actually work Prenups, postnups, and how to protect what matters most Emotional healing, mindset shifts, and confidence after a hard season Menopause, health changes, and how midlife affects mood, marriage, and motivation Wellness basics that make a real difference: rest, nutrition, movement, strength, and community This is more than a show about endings—it’s about becoming the woman who rises stronger, steadier, and clearer on the other side. About the Host: Lesa has spent over 25 years helping families through mediation and family law, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. She’s also a breast cancer survivor, wellness advocate, cowgirl at heart, and follower of Jesus who believes your hardest season can become your greatest comeback. If you’re craving practical guidance, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about rebuilding life after 40, you’re in the right place. Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

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