Doing Divorce Different with Lesa Koski

Lesa Koski
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Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—this podcast is your guide to a healthier, faith-filled life transition. Hosted by family law attorney, mediator, and life coach Lesa Koski, each episode is designed to take the fear out of major life change and guide you toward peace—whether you’re facing separation, navigating a divorce, working to strengthen your relationship, or rebuilding your life in midlife. You’ll get heart-centered legal clarity, emotional support, and practical tools to help you heal, grow, and move forward with confidence. Topics include: Peaceful divorce strategies and mediation support Co-parenting help and parenting plans that actually work Prenups, postnups, and how to protect what matters most Emotional healing, mindset shifts, and confidence after a hard season Menopause, health changes, and how midlife affects mood, marriage, and motivation Wellness basics that make a real difference: rest, nutrition, movement, strength, and community This is more than a show about endings—it’s about becoming the woman who rises stronger, steadier, and clearer on the other side. About the Host: Lesa has spent over 25 years helping families through mediation and family law, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. She’s also a breast cancer survivor, wellness advocate, cowgirl at heart, and follower of Jesus who believes your hardest season can become your greatest comeback. If you’re craving practical guidance, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about rebuilding life after 40, you’re in the right place. Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

  1. How Trauma Lives in the Body — And How Midlife Women Can Heal | Trauma Recovery with Psychiatrist Dr. Risley Childs

    11H AGO

    How Trauma Lives in the Body — And How Midlife Women Can Heal | Trauma Recovery with Psychiatrist Dr. Risley Childs

    Trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and emotional healing for midlife women are possible at any age. In this powerful conversation, psychiatrist Dr. Risley Childs explains how trauma lives in the body, affects high-achieving women, and how trauma recovery and nervous system healing can begin even decades later. Many midlife women live in chronic fight-or-flight without realizing trauma recovery is needed. Dr. Childs shares how trauma recovery works, how trauma affects the nervous system, and why trauma recovery is possible regardless of your past. If you’ve experienced divorce, emotional stress, burnout, or chronic anxiety, this episode will help you understand trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and how to begin healing your trauma safely. This episode offers hope, science, and practical understanding for trauma recovery and midlife healing. Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to trauma recovery and midlife healing (02:15) Dr. Childs’ medical background and journey into psychiatry (05:32) How trauma affects high-achieving women (09:10) Fight-or-flight and nervous system dysregulation explained (13:40) How childhood environments shape adult behavior (18:20) Why trauma lives in the body, not just the mind (23:10) The vagus nerve and nervous system healing (28:45) Healing trauma later in life — why it’s not too late (34:10) Rest, healing, and breaking hyper-achievement patterns Key Takeaways:• Trauma often shows up as achievement, people-pleasing, and chronic stress • Trauma lives in the nervous system and body, not just the mind • Fight-or-flight states can persist for decades without awareness • Healing trauma is possible at any age, including midlife • Rest and nervous system regulation are critical components of healing Guest Bio:Dr. Risley Childs is a board-certified psychiatrist with over 30 years of clinical experience. She specializes in trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and helping high-achieving women understand and heal from the long-term effects of trauma. Resource Links:Website and Social Media links: https://www.drrisleychilds.com/ to awaken your vagus nerve: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VuPpgmSPwk7cErnqrNhCH?si=a3824002e9774659 To calm your vagus nerve: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YC0zMSeGQRqg4XmscoyCG?si=d1b93c15519f4ecc African Drums: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z2d4y9MXXjQQiYC8c46Fk?si=10b08e8109634214 Amazon weighted hula hoop: https://a.co/d/06DXlzwC Tags/Keywords:trauma recovery, nervous system healing, midlife healing, emotional trauma healing, trauma and nervous system, trauma recovery podcast, women over 40 healing, trauma therapy, divorce trauma healing, fight or flight healing, emotional recovery midlife, psychiatrist interview trauma, Doing Life Different podcast, trauma recovery women

    39 min
  2. Amicable Divorce & Real Support: How the National Association for Single & Divorced Families Is Changing Divorce Recovery

    MAR 10

    Amicable Divorce & Real Support: How the National Association for Single & Divorced Families Is Changing Divorce Recovery

    Amicable divorce, divorce recovery, and real support for single parents — this episode explores how to navigate divorce with dignity and community. In this powerful conversation on Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Joy Reed, co-founder of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families (NASDF), to discuss what an amicable divorce really looks like — and why divorce recovery requires more than just legal paperwork. Joy shares her deeply personal story of navigating an amicable divorce, the unexpected grief that followed, and how that journey led her to help build the National Association for Single & Divorced Families. Together, they explore how divorce can be handled with respect, how identity shifts after separation, and why community support is essential during divorce recovery. This episode dives into: What makes an amicable divorce possibleThe grief of divorce (even when it’s peaceful)Divorce identity loss and rebuildingResources for single parents and divorced familiesWhy divorce recovery needs financial, mental health, and childcare support If you’re navigating divorce, considering divorce, or supporting someone through divorce recovery, this conversation will remind you that divorce doesn’t have to be a war — and you don’t have to do it alone. Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to amicable divorce and today’s guest (03:12) Joy’s story of an amicable divorce and staying connected (08:45) The grief of divorce — identity loss and emotional waves (14:20) Divorce recovery and losing your “role” in marriage (19:05) The founding of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families (24:40) The lack of divorce support resources beyond lawyers (29:15) Mediation vs. litigation and accessible divorce options (34:50) Financial strain of divorce and support for single parents (40:10) Building a national support network for divorced families (46:05) Why community is essential during divorce recovery (49:20) Final thoughts on service, dignity, and doing divorce differently Key Takeaways:Divorce can be amicable — but grief still comes in waves.Identity loss is one of the hardest parts of divorce recovery.Accessible mediation and resources reduce long-term emotional damage.Single parents and divorced families need financial, mental health, and childcare support.Community and service are powerful tools for healing after divorce. Guest Bio:Joy Reed is the co-founder of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families (NASDF), a national organization dedicated to supporting single parents and families navigating divorce recovery. With a passion for service and community impact, Joy helps connect divorced and single families with resources including mediation access, financial guidance, childcare support, and mental health services. Her mission is to make divorce recovery more accessible, less isolating, and more dignified for families nationwide. Resource Links:National Association for Single & Divorced Families (NASDF): https://www.nasdf.org/about Learn more about Doing Divorce Different: https://lesakoski.com Tags/Keywords:amicable divorce, divorce recovery, National Association for Single and Divorced Families, NASDF, divorce support, single parent resources, mediation vs litigation, divorce grief, co-parenting after divorce, divorce identity loss, healthy divorce, divorce podcast, doing divorce different, divorce without fighting, divorce community support, single mom resources, single dad resources, divorce advice, peaceful divorce

    28 min

  3. MAR 3

    Collaborative Divorce Explained: A Better Way to Divorce with Respect (Minnesota) | Divorce With Respect Week

    Collaborative divorce offers a respectful, structured alternative to litigation for couples who want to avoid court battles and create agreements that protect children and finances. In this episode, Lesa Koski sits down with Minnesota collaborative professionals Jana Hefty and Michelle Leason to explain how collaborative divorce works, who it’s best for, and why collaborative divorce can save time, reduce conflict, and support healthier co-parenting. You’ll learn the key differences between collaborative divorce vs mediation vs litigation, how financial neutrals help organize assets and cashflow planning, and what happens if the collaborative divorce process doesn’t work. This conversation is especially helpful for parents considering divorce who want a better way to divorce with respect. Divorce doesn’t have to be a fight. Collaborative divorce can be a better way. Timestamps:(00:00) Welcome + why divorce doesn’t have to be a fight (01:30) Introducing Jana Hefty and Michelle Leason (03:15) Jana’s path to law + staying calm in crisis (06:45) Michelle’s background as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and mediator (10:10) What collaborative divorce is and how it works (13:40) The collaborative divorce team: attorneys, financial neutral, child specialist (17:10) Why finances feel scary and how to create clarity early (21:30) What happens if collaborative divorce doesn’t work (25:10) Cost and timeline: collaborative divorce vs litigation (28:30) Divorce With Respect Week (March 1–8) + how to find resources (30:10) Closing thoughts + next steps Key Takeaways:• Collaborative divorce helps couples avoid court and make decisions together • A team approach supports finances, parenting plans, and communication • Financial neutrals reduce duplicated work and improve clarity • Collaborative divorce can be less expensive and faster than litigation • If collaborative fails, agreements can still be used—progress isn’t lost Guest Bio:Jana Hefty is a Minnesota collaborative family law attorney who helps couples navigate divorce with respect, structure, and reduced conflict. Michelle Liesen is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and Minnesota-qualified mediator. She founded Divorce Smart and helps couples understand assets, budgeting, and post-divorce financial planning. Resource Links:https://collaborativedivorcecalifornia.com/dwrw/ https://collaborativelaw.org/ https://www.mydivorcesmart.com/

    31 min
  4. Why Joy Is Essential for Healing and Reinvention | Finding Laughter in Midlife

    FEB 26

    Why Joy Is Essential for Healing and Reinvention | Finding Laughter in Midlife

    Finding joy in midlife can feel impossible during stress, divorce, or reinvention — but joy and laughter are powerful tools for healing, nervous system regulation, and resilience. In this Saddle Up segment, Lesa Koski shares why joy is essential for healing, how laughter resets the nervous system, and how finding joy can transform your midlife experience. If you’ve been white-knuckling your way through life, this episode will help you understand why joy is essential for healing and why laughter may be one of the most important tools for emotional wellness. Lesa shares personal stories, practical ways to add joy into daily life, and insights from her recent conversation with Rabbi Bob Alper. You’ll learn how joy supports nervous system health, reduces stress, and creates space for reinvention. This episode is especially powerful for women navigating midlife transitions, divorce recovery, and personal reinvention. Joy is essential for healing. And sometimes, it begins with laughter. Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to this week’s Saddle Up segment (01:10) Why joy becomes essential during midlife transitions (02:35) The powerful story shared by Rabbi Bob Alper (04:20) How laughter resets the nervous system (06:10) Lesa’s personal journey from white-knuckling to finding joy (08:05) Simple ways to intentionally add joy into daily life (10:15) Why joy improves stress, health, and emotional resilience (12:05) Encouragement for listeners navigating heavy seasons Key Takeaways:• Joy helps regulate the nervous system and reduce chronic stress • Laughter provides emotional relief even during difficult circumstances • Midlife reinvention requires emotional lightness, not just discipline • Small intentional moments of joy can significantly improve well-being • White-knuckling life increases stress, while joy supports healing

    6 min
  5. Find Joy After 40: Humor, Purpose & Second Acts with Rabbi Bob Alper (Standup Comedian Rabbi)

    FEB 24

    Find Joy After 40: Humor, Purpose & Second Acts with Rabbi Bob Alper (Standup Comedian Rabbi)

    Finding joy after 40 starts with humor, purpose, and the courage to pursue a second act. In this uplifting episode, Lesa sits down with Rabbi Bob Alper—standup comedian, author, and widely loved “rabbi with a punchline”—to talk about finding joy after 40, chasing your calling, and using humor to heal. Bob shares how he went from decades in the pulpit to a full-time comedy career, what kept him going through the bad nights, and why laughter isn’t just entertainment—it has a meaningful, even “holy” purpose. You’ll hear powerful stories about humor helping people through grief, cancer, and hard seasons, plus a behind-the-scenes look at Bob’s viral “funny driver’s license” that has brightened strangers’ days for years. If you’re craving joy, longing for a second act, or learning how to stop white-knuckling life and start enjoying it—this episode is for you. Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction: finding joy, second acts, and why humor matters (02:10) Rabbi Bob’s take: humor has a “holy purpose” (05:10) Lesa’s personal shift: missing fun and joy while “white-knuckling” life (07:05) When Bob knew his calling was shifting (09:30) The Jewish Comic of the Year contest that changed everything (12:20) Why standup is different: instant validation and connection (14:45) The moment a dying woman said: “For an hour and a half, I forgot I was sick” (17:10) Bad nights, polite applause, and why grit matters (20:05) Bob’s “funny driver’s license” and the mission behind it (25:30) TSA and rental car stories: joy in everyday encounters (29:20) Keeping humor wholesome: never at someone else’s expense (33:10) The joke Bob removed forever—and why (36:40) Bob’s books: Life Doesn’t Get Better Than This and Thanks, I Needed That (40:20) A powerful story from the book: “Then I held you” (45:10) Writing, rejection, and why publishing builds resilience (50:00) Where to find Bob and his work + closing reflections on joy Key Takeaways:Humor isn’t “extra”—it can be a meaningful tool for healing and connectionA second act can start by following what energizes you and what people respond toGrit is required: failure is part of finding your voice and refining your craftWholesome laughter matters—true humor shouldn’t come at someone else’s expenseJoy can be intentionally practiced through everyday moments, not just big life changes Guest Bio:Rabbi Bob Alper is a standup comedian, author, and former congregational rabbi who transitioned into comedy full-time after decades of using humor as a tool for connection and teaching. He has performed across the U.S. and internationally, including faith-based events for diverse audiences. Bob is the author of Life Doesn’t Get Better Than This and Thanks, I Needed That: And Other Stories of the Spirit, sharing poignant, heartfelt stories about meaning, laughter, and the human experience. Resource Links:Website and Social Media links: http://www.bobalper.com/ http://www.facebook.com/thatfunnyrabbi http://www.instagram.com/bobalper/ http://www.tiktok.com/@comedian1818 http://www.youtube.com/@bobalper1 x.com/bob_alper?s=09 http://www.linkedin.com/in/bobalper/

    30 min
  6. Divorce, Mortgages & the Marital Home: What Every Woman Must Know Before Keeping the House

    FEB 17

    Divorce, Mortgages & the Marital Home: What Every Woman Must Know Before Keeping the House

    Divorce, mortgages, and the marital home can become one of the most costly mistakes women make after divorce. In this episode, divorce mediator Lesa Koski is joined by mortgage expert Tami Wollensak to break down what really happens when you try to keep the house after divorce—and why so many women regret the decision later. Divorce mortgages and keeping the marital home after divorce can derail your financial future. Learn what most women are never told before signing. Tami shares her own divorce story, the hard lessons she learned by keeping the marital home, and why emotional decisions around housing often lead to long-term financial stress. Together, Lesa and Tami unpack mortgage assumptions, interest rates, lender timelines, hidden costs, and why divorce agreements don’t bind banks. If you’re divorcing—or advising someone who is—this episode will help you avoid common traps, ask smarter questions, and create a Plan B that protects your future. This is an essential listen for women navigating divorce, post-divorce decisions, and housing uncertainty. ⏱️ Timestamps(00:00) Introduction & why this is Lesa’s return to divorce work (04:30) Tami’s divorce story and the mistake of keeping the marital home (09:15) Why keeping the house feels safe—but often isn’t (14:20) Mortgage assumptions explained in plain English (19:40) Why lenders are not bound by divorce decrees (24:10) The hidden costs and timelines of mortgage assumptions (30:00) How HELOCs can completely derail an assumption (36:30) Why attorneys and mediators must plan beyond the paperwork (41:15) The importance of Plan B when the house doesn’t sell (47:00) Today’s mortgage rates and why the market is different now (52:40) Post-divorce fallout and why issues resurface years later (58:00) Empowerment, hope, and making informed decisions during divorce (01:02:30) Final advice for women navigating divorce and home decisions ✅ Key TakeawaysKeeping the marital home after divorce often creates financial strain, not stabilityMortgage assumptions are complex, slow, and frequently deniedDivorce agreements do not bind lenders or banksHELOCs and hidden liabilities can make mortgage assumptions impossibleHaving a Plan B is critical to avoiding post-divorce litigation and stress 👤 Guest BioTami Wollensak is a mortgage consultant who specializes in working with women navigating divorce and major life transitions. Having lived through divorce herself, Tammy brings both technical expertise and deep empathy to her work. She helps clients understand mortgage options, assumptions, refinancing risks, and long-term financial consequences so they can make informed decisions—not emotional ones—during divorce. 🔗 Resource LinksConnect with Tammy Woolens: https://www.tamiwollensak.com/Divorce Mediation & Coaching with Lesa Koski: https://www.lesakoski.com/Related episode: Divorce Planning & Financial Clarity After 40 🏷️ Tags / Keywordsdivorce mortgage, keeping the marital home after divorce, divorce and housing decisions, mortgage assumption divorce, divorce financial mistakes, women and divorce finances, divorce mediation, post divorce planning, refinancing after divorce, divorce real estate issues, divorce podcast for women, doing divorce different

    33 min

  7. FEB 10

    How to Calm Anxiety Fast During Divorce: Nervous System Reset Tools (with DNA Expert Elaine “Lane” Kennedy)

    Divorce stress, anxiety relief, nervous system regulation—this episode shares practical tools to calm anxiety fast during divorce for women over 40. If divorce stress has you spinning out, this conversation will help you regulate your nervous system, calm anxiety fast, and find clarity in the moment. Host Lesa Koski welcomes DNA nutritionist and mindfulness teacher Elaine “Lane” Kennedy to talk nervous system regulation, stress management, and how lifestyle habits influence gene expression. You’ll learn what to do when self-coaching feels impossible, why movement can help more than journaling in traumatic moments, and how support and community help you navigate divorce stress with more calm and confidence. If you’re a woman over 40 navigating divorce, anxiety, and overwhelm, this episode offers real tools and hope—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback. Timestamps (in parentheses):(Note: Adjust to match your final edit timecodes.) (00:00) Welcome + why this episode matters for divorce stress and anxiety(02:10) Meet Elaine “Lane” Kennedy: DNA nutritionist + mindfulness teacher(06:00) The “white truck” moment: how stress shows up before we notice(11:20) Why “pause” is the first step in nervous system regulation(16:10) When “feeling your feelings” is too much: what to do instead(19:45) Move your body to calm anxiety fast: shaking, walking, getting outside(24:30) Why trauma shouldn’t be handled alone: community and co-regulation(30:10) Protecting your peace when a partner is dysregulated(36:40) DNA testing + gene expression: why one-size-fits-all wellness advice fails(44:20) Alcohol, anxiety, and stress: why it often makes things worse(49:10) The missing piece: fun, joy, and nervous system healing in midlife(55:30) Closing encouragement + how to connect with Lane Key Takeaways:Pause first: nervous system regulation creates clarity when divorce stress is high.Move before you process: in traumatic moments, movement can calm anxiety faster than journaling.Co-regulation matters: hard seasons feel lighter when you’re supported by safe people.Protect your peace: you are not responsible for regulating your partner’s emotions.Personalized wellness wins: DNA-informed lifestyle changes can support long-term health and resilience. Guest Bio:Elaine “Lane” Kennedy is a California-based DNA nutritionist and mindfulness teacher who helps people reduce stress, regulate the nervous system, and support health through personalized lifestyle strategies. With a background in mindfulness practices and DNA-based wellness education, Lane teaches practical tools to build capacity, calm anxiety, and create sustainable habits that support whole-body resilience. Resource Links:Website and Social Media links: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lanekennedy https://www.facebook.com/lanekennedycoach https://www.instagram.com/lane_kennedy_ https://www.youtube.com/lanekennedy-levy Tags/Keywords:divorce stress, calm anxiety fast, nervous system regulation, divorce recovery, women over 40 divorce, stress management tools, mindfulness for anxiety, co-regulation, emotional resilience, divorce mindset, DNA nutritionist, gene expression lifestyle, midlife reinvention, divorce podcast, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski, anxiety relief techniques, trauma support, yoga nidra, wellness misinformation Find More From Lesa Here! Sign up for my newsletter https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyj Marrie Simpson’s Metabolic Reset jjflizanes.com/lesa

    39 min
  8. The 3 Things You Must Know Before You Divorce (From a Divorce Mediator)

    FEB 3

    The 3 Things You Must Know Before You Divorce (From a Divorce Mediator)

    Divorce mediation can save you time, money, and emotional stress. Learn how divorce mediation works, why mediation matters, and how to divorce with dignity and peace. If you’re facing divorce, this episode walks you through exactly why divorce mediation may be the smartest first step you take. As an attorney, mediator, and life coach, Lesa shares how divorce mediation helps couples avoid court battles, reduce legal costs, and protect their kids while keeping their dignity intact. You’ll learn the 3 powerful reasons divorce mediation works better than litigation — plus the 3 big decisions you should make before filing paperwork so you feel prepared instead of overwhelmed. This is real, compassionate guidance for women and families who want to do divorce differently — calmer, smarter, and with less damage. Because midlife isn’t your crisis… it’s your comeback. Timestamps:(00:00) Welcome + why divorce feels so heavy (02:10) Why Lesa returned to mediation after stepping away (04:05) What a divorce mediator actually does (and how it’s different from attorneys) (06:30) Reason #1: Mediation saves time (08:12) Reason #2: Mediation saves money (09:45) Reason #3: Mediation protects your peace and dignity (12:20) The 3 decisions to make before starting divorce (13:00) Dividing assets: homes, 401(k)s, pensions explained (18:40) Maintenance/spousal support basics (22:15) Child support + parenting plans (25:30) Why mediation is critical for co-parenting (28:10) Parenting plan course + free masterclass (30:00) Encouragement for high-conflict or difficult co-parenting situations (32:20) Final thoughts: doing divorce with dignity + where to get help Key Takeaways:• Divorce mediation helps you avoid costly court battles • You can save thousands of dollars by reaching agreements together • Calm communication leads to better long-term co-parenting • Decide finances, income/maintenance, and parenting plans early • Divorce doesn’t have to be a war — it can be handled with dignity Guest Bio:Lesa Koski is an attorney, divorce mediator, life coach, and host of Doing Divorce Different. With decades of legal and mediation experience, she helps women and families navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Her mission is simple: help people protect their peace, their finances, and their kids while creating a healthier next chapter. Resource Links:🌿 Work with Lesa (mediation + coaching): https://lesakoski.com DIY Parenting Plan Course Find More From Lesa Here! Sign up for my newsletter https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyj Tags/Keywords:divorce mediation, divorce help, divorce process, divorce support for women, co parenting tips, mediation vs divorce lawyer, peaceful divorce, divorce coaching, family mediation, child custody help, midlife transitions, women over 40 divorce, divorce advice, divorce podcast, how to divorce peacefully

    23 min
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Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—this podcast is your guide to a healthier, faith-filled life transition. Hosted by family law attorney, mediator, and life coach Lesa Koski, each episode is designed to take the fear out of major life change and guide you toward peace—whether you’re facing separation, navigating a divorce, working to strengthen your relationship, or rebuilding your life in midlife. You’ll get heart-centered legal clarity, emotional support, and practical tools to help you heal, grow, and move forward with confidence. Topics include: Peaceful divorce strategies and mediation support Co-parenting help and parenting plans that actually work Prenups, postnups, and how to protect what matters most Emotional healing, mindset shifts, and confidence after a hard season Menopause, health changes, and how midlife affects mood, marriage, and motivation Wellness basics that make a real difference: rest, nutrition, movement, strength, and community This is more than a show about endings—it’s about becoming the woman who rises stronger, steadier, and clearer on the other side. About the Host: Lesa has spent over 25 years helping families through mediation and family law, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. She’s also a breast cancer survivor, wellness advocate, cowgirl at heart, and follower of Jesus who believes your hardest season can become your greatest comeback. If you’re craving practical guidance, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about rebuilding life after 40, you’re in the right place. Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

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