Dr. Judy WTF UBN Radio.

Trust develops in the first few months or years of life. We are lucky enough to primary caregivers who are emphatic, nurturing, and attuned to our feelings, we will develop a sense of trust in ourselves and in the world. When we are wounded in childhood, trust is broken and we can either withdraw or continue to repeat bad patterns of trusting people who hurt and betray us. Once trust is broken, it is very hard to repair. Sometime we just have to pull back and self reflect and self correct on our own patterns and heal our childhood wounds.

Sometime people choose ineffectual therapists because they are repeating dysfunctional relationships from their family origin. After all, a therapeutic relationship is a relationship and if you have had a poor pattern of choosing dysfunctional relationships in general, please do your research before you choose your healer. A good therapist should a be a good fit for you, someone you feel comfortable with. A good therapist has a system that is clearly spelled out before you get involved with the therapy. A good therapist will also be transparent about methods and payments involved. A good therapist should have done his or her own therapeutic work and offer you referrals to others if they feel that you are not a good fit. Therapy is like dating, keep going until you find someone that you can benefit from.

In order to be vulnerable to narcissist abuse, we must be groomed to need outside validation. When are primary care givers attune to our emotional needs and leave us wanting for mirroring and attunement, we become desperate for this experience. When we lack good boundaries, people can penetrate our emotional walls in order to use and manipulate our need to feel important and be loved. In order to heal from this level of abuse and prevent ourselves from giving over our dreams, minds, and heart to people who abuse us we have to heal our inner wounds first.

Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies." -Nelson Mandala. When we trade, it is natural to feel resentment and to have revenge fantasies of that person. IN those times it is important to have an enlightened witness to talk to so that they can act. The ABC's in resentment play out when for example: three people are friends and one friend betrays another, the betrayed persons finds out that their friend is still friends with the betrayal. This is very painful and is like a new sense of betrayal. In order to avoid the right and wrong syndrome, it is important to put principles over people. Unless principles of integrity are upheld, and especially in the cases of extreme betrayal, it is not possible to continue to be friends with that third party. Stay safe everyone. Sending you much love during this difficult time.

Covid-19 is real. People are coming down with the virus and some are getting dreadfully ill and even dying. This is the time where we are easily triggered and because of this external threat we fill even more threatened internal as well. The paranoia and the feelings of hopefuls are just some symptoms that many are experiencing. It is normal given the circumstances. What we need at this time is to extend love and empathy to others. This can come in any form, from shopping for a neighbor, to checking in on someone near and dear to you. We most remember we are wired to connect and social distance visit can mean a lot as long as you are following safety guidelines. Childhood wounds are the template for our triggers. When we do the psychological work we can better ourselves through crisis and in a healthy manner. Thank you Andy for sharing your brave and resilient spirit after contacting Covid-19.

We are all in this together. This is the time to increase our level of empathy and self reflect and self correct so that we can be bigger givers to others. This is the time to we will wish that we took more advantage of the time . I invite you all to take advantage of learning the mind map so that you can have better peace within and share that peace with others. During this time it is important to not act on our impulses and to source people that are experts in the fields of health and medicine. Stay save everybody and share what you are up to. Feel free to write me at drjudy@pschologicalhealingcenter.com