The shelf sits just inside the entrance, level three, close enough to the doors that it feels less like furniture and more like part of the building’s circulation system, something you pass through rather than arrive at, unless you know it’s there and slow down deliberately, which I always do. This is the hold shelf… the place where the library puts books that people have already requested. Books you don’t stumble across, nor browse. Books that wait, with a small yellow slip tucked into their spine, until the person who asked for them comes to collect them. Outside it’s summer in south east Queensland, and people enter the library carrying the day with them, water bottles swinging, bags bumping against hips, hats coming off as they cross the threshold, conversations finishing mid sentence, before dispersing into the building in search of a chair, an aisle, a patch of quiet, a place to wander. A few don’t wander at all. A few turn almost immediately and head straight for the shelf, their bodies already oriented, their pace barely changing, as if the decision that brought them here happened somewhere else and this is simply the final step. I’ve started stopping by the hold shelf every second day or so, not because I’m collecting anything myself, but because it changes just enough to reward attention, and because it offers a different kind of reading altogether. The shelf looks ordinary, wooden, heavy, easily overlooked, the kind of thing most people pass without noticing, except for the yellow slips leaning out at slight angles, not decorative, carrying names and dates and codes that matter only briefly, and the large orange tub below, unapologetically plastic and modern, waiting to receive whatever doesn’t make the cut. Usually, the library does its best work elsewhere…. it encourages wandering and lays out recommendation shelves, full of optimism and good intentions, quietly suggesting things we think you’ll enjoy. I like that about it. I’ve spent whole afternoons letting my eyes lead, lifting books without purpose, following a word on a spine just to see where it goes. But this shelf isn’t offered, and you have to know it’s here. Because it doesn’t show taste, to me, it shows decision. People arrive at the hold shelf with their thinking already done, and you can see it in their bodies before you see it in their hands. Some walk straight in, barely slowing, reaching without hesitation, lifting and stacking books without rereading the titles, their grip confident and practised, already-decided hands treating the book not as a discovery but as a retrieval. Others approach more carefully, reading the slip twice, checking the name (is that me?!), adjusting a bag strap, shifting the book from one arm to the other before committing to the lift, and when they do take it, holding it closer than necessary, as if it’s fragile, or private, or both. A deeply personal choice, handled in the most impersonal way possible. No one browses here and no one wanders accidentally into interest. This isn’t a place for maybe…. I stand slightly to the side, close enough to see but not close enough to interrupt, aware that this shelf is designed for efficiency rather than observation, and that lingering is a quiet transgression. I borrow time anyway, watching how people pause, how long they wait when something isn’t ready, what their hands do when they arrive and leave empty. Confidence looks different here because it isn’t expressive or performative, to me it looks procedural. It has nothing to do with knowing what you like and everything to do with knowing what you need. I read the titles anyway, though not carefully, just enough to register them as signals rather than content, long books, dense ones, technical spines, older volumes, books that suggest someone went back instead of forward, looking for context rather than comfort. The shelf shifts and evolves over time. Some weeks I visit and it feels tight and serious, decision heavy, the kind of seriousness that presses quietly. Other weeks it loosens, a creative or oddly specific book appearing among the dense ones, tilting the tone for a moment before it settles again. I like noticing that, the way the shelf changes mood, like weather passing through an enclosed space, pressure you don’t need to name in order to feel. Typically, the ‘recommendation shelves say’ here’s something you might enjoy, here’s a path you could wander down. This shelf says something else entirely. I think it says someone already wandered, someone already thought and someone already decided. Each book here has travelled a small but determined path before arriving… a gap noticed, a question named, a search, a wait, and then this moment, the last step, where thinking becomes something solid you can carry under your arm. That’s why I come here, not to find something for myself, but to see what other people cared enough about to request in advance, what they wanted badly enough to wait for. A book is lifted and the yellow slip bends, then springs back slightly, relieved of duty, the shelf holding its shape anyway as another person steps forward almost immediately, filling the space with their presence. A man arrives quickly, lifts two volumes without checking the titles again, stacks them neatly under his arm and leaves, the doors opening and closing behind him without ceremony. A woman arrives more slowly, reads the slip twice, adjusts her grip, and tucks the book closer to her body before turning away, the difference subtle but unmistakable. Someone else comes and finds nothing waiting. They stand there briefly, hands empty, eyes moving as if something might appear if they give it another second. It doesn’t. They leave carrying only that (my heart breaks a little for them). By the time I move on, the shelf already looks different, one space wider and another slip gone while the already-decided books wait just long enough to be claimed. Thanks for drifting with me, Lyss x Note > This season and episode were produced from within the Queensland Writers Centre at the Queensland State Library, as part of the Fishbowl Writers Residency. My sincere gratitude. Where do you go first when you need a book? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit driftingnotes.substack.com