The Self-Leadership Lab

Bobby Shelton
  • 5.0 (21)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Semiweekly

The Self-Leadership Lab is where purpose, discipline, and personal mastery get broken down, tested, and rebuilt. Hosted by author and coach Bobby Shelton, this podcast explores the real work of leading yourself before you lead anyone else. Each episode dives into the practices, psychology, and “inner lab work” behind self-awareness, self-discipline, and meaningful growth. If you’re ready to trade performative busyness for intentional living and choose the kind of work that truly shapes you, this is your place. Welcome to The Self-Leadership Lab.

  1. 3d ago

    Kathy Rogers: Looking for Good When Life Gives You Every Reason Not To

    What does it mean to look for good when your circumstances don't feel good at all? That's not a hypothetical question for Kathy Rogers. Kathy is the author of Look for Good: Discovering God in Grief, Celebration, and the Everyday. Her message has been tested through cancer, the death of her mother, and the unimaginable loss of her 29-year-old daughter, Elena. And yet Kathy still chooses to look for good. Not because she denies what's happened. Not because grief doesn't hurt. And certainly not because she believes Christians are supposed to put on a smile and pretend everything is okay. Kathy describes looking for good as something active. It's a practice she developed through suffering, faith, gratitude, and learning to relinquish her desire to control outcomes. We talk openly about what grief actually looks like. Kathy shares about trying to be strong for everyone else after Elena died, numbing some of what she was feeling, and eventually realizing that she couldn't avoid the grief. She had to walk through it. There's also a beautiful moment when Kathy describes eventually catching a glimpse of herself again: “I'm still in here.” She wasn't suddenly finished grieving. She still missed her daughter terribly. But there was a glimmer that Kathy was still there and that, somehow, she was going to be okay. That may be one of my favorite lessons from this conversation. Grief can become part of your story without becoming your entire identity. We also talk about what to say when someone you love is hurting, why sometimes acknowledging someone's pain matters more than finding the perfect words, and how gratitude can slowly retrain us to notice goodness again. Kathy's practical challenge is simple: Find three things you're grateful for every day. Write them down. Because the more intentionally we look for good, the more likely we are to see it. This is a conversation about grief. But even more than that, it's a conversation about faith, hope, gratitude, community, and trusting God when we don't understand what He's doing. Kathy has earned the right to talk about all of them. About Kathy: Kathy Rogers is a speaker, business owner, podcaster, and author whose life was forever changed by two breast cancer diagnoses—first her own, then her daughter’s. Despite a fierce battle, Kathy’s daughter passed away at 29 years old. This unimaginable loss transformed Kathy’s lens on life, allowing her to find faith, joy, and peace in all circumstances. Her voice is a guiding light for those seeking clarity, courage, and connection during cultural noise and complexity. Website: https://www.thekathyrogers.com/

    Kathy Rogers: Looking for Good When Life Gives You Every Reason Not To

  2. Sep 4

    Brian Miller: Stop Trying to Be More and Start Being Yourself

    What if personal growth isn't always about becoming more? What if sometimes it's about becoming more fully who you already are? Brian Miller is the president of Coach Approach Ministries and founder of P3 Leadership, where his work focuses on presence, partnership, purpose, and helping people grow through what he calls “drawing out rather than pouring in.” That simple idea took our conversation somewhere much deeper. We live in a world constantly telling us we're not enough. Be more productive. Get in better shape. Make more money. Grow your audience. Improve your performance. Become 1% better. Brian made an observation that stopped me: sometimes that message can reinforce the very belief we're trying to overcome. You're not enough yet. So we explored another possibility. What if growth isn't always about pouring more information, advice, habits, and expectations into ourselves? What if we need someone to help draw out what's already there? At one point, Brian turned that question toward me and asked what characteristics are essentially “Bobby Shelton.” That led to a realization I've been wrestling with recently. I'm 6'5", but I've spent much of my life trying to make myself smaller. I've heard some version of “don't be so loud, don't talk so much, don't be so big.” Maybe I've internalized the belief that taking up less space makes more room for everyone else. Brian challenged that assumption. Perhaps showing up fully doesn't take space away from others. Maybe being bigger gives other people permission to be bigger too. We also talk about advice, coaching, podcasting, comparison, intrinsic motivation, false beliefs, confidence, authenticity, and why knowing what to do rarely creates lasting change. Brian's challenge at the end is beautifully simple: Figure out who you are. Challenge the false beliefs telling you that person isn't enough. And become comfortable being the best version of you Connect with Brian: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brian-miller-coach-approach/ Website: https://coachapproachministries.org/

    Brian Miller: Stop Trying to Be More and Start Being Yourself

  3. Aug 28

    Ahmet Bozer: Lead Yourself First and Unlock Your Potential

    What if becoming a better leader has less to do with learning how to lead others and more to do with learning how to lead yourself? My guest this week is Ahmet Bozer, former President of Coca-Cola International and author of Soulgery: Unlock Your Potential. After spending 26 years at Coca-Cola and eventually overseeing the company's operations outside North America, Ahmet entered the next chapter of his life intending to share what he'd learned about leadership. But as he began writing, he discovered something deeper: the better we become at leading ourselves, the better equipped we are to lead others. That realization eventually led him away from writing a traditional leadership book and toward Soulgery, an exploration of how we continually develop our potential to become more capable, impactful, and resilient. Our conversation goes well beyond business. We talk about ego and what Ahmet calls our "sense of self," why he tries not to think in terms of success and failure, and how both can distort the way we see ourselves. Ahmet also shares one practice he believes we don't do nearly enough: self-reflection. It's not enough to simply accumulate experiences. We must examine them. What was I thinking? What was I feeling? Why did I react that way? What patterns keep appearing? Over time, that practice becomes a way of strengthening our inner selves just as exercise strengthens our bodies. We also explore character, wisdom, identity, potential, relationships, and the possibility that personal growth isn't always about adding more to ourselves. Sometimes it's about removing the things that are getting in the way. One of my favorite moments comes when I ask Ahmet whether he'd rather be known for having been President of Coca-Cola International or simply for who he is. His answer stopped me: He wants to be seen as an "aspiring human being." Because titles end. Careers end. But the work of becoming a fuller version of ourselves can continue until our last breath. And perhaps that's what self-leadership is ultimately about. Not creating a more impressive résumé. Becoming a better human being. In this episode, we discuss: • Why self-leadership comes before leading others • Ahmet's journey from Coca-Cola executive to author • The philosophy behind Soulgery • Why "success" and "failure" can both become traps • Ego and our sense of self • Developing a habit of self-reflection • Why experience alone doesn't necessarily produce wisdom • Character as something we develop through action • Removing the barriers we create within ourselves • Human potential and lifelong growth • Working on the self, not for the self Ahmet closes our conversation with a beautiful idea: he believes in the potential of people he's never even met. Every one of us, he argues, has the capacity to become more capable, resilient, and impactful than we are today. His hope is that we learn to believe that about ourselves. That's a message I can get behind. About Ahmet Bozer: Ahmet Bozer is the former President of Coca-Cola International and author of Soulgery: Unlock Your Potential. His work focuses on helping people continually develop their capabilities, impact, resilience, wisdom, character, and humanity. Connect with Ahmet: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ahmetbozer/

    Ahmet Bozer: Lead Yourself First and Unlock Your Potential

  4. Aug 25

    Tripp Lanier: Freedom, Aliveness, Self-Worth, and the Courage to Be Yourself

    What if becoming the person you think you should be is actually keeping you from becoming who you are? Tripp Lanier has spent more than 20 years coaching men, executives, business owners, and high performers. He's the author of This Book Will Make You Dangerous and host of The New Man Podcast. His work explores a deceptively simple question: What does it take to stop settling and actually feel alive? In this conversation, we explore Tripp's ideas around aliveness, freedom, love, and peace and how each relates to self-leadership. We talk about why comfort can slowly make our lives smaller, why the limitations we experience are often more self-imposed than we realize, and why men in particular can struggle to be honest about what's really happening in their lives. Tripp makes an important distinction between vulnerability as weakness and vulnerability as simple transparency. The conversation eventually becomes deeply personal as I share how I once tried to transform myself into someone completely different because I didn't like who I was. That leads us into a discussion about achievement, suffering, discipline, self-rejection, and the possibility that real growth begins not with hating who we are, but with learning to accept and honor ourselves. As Tripp puts it, peace doesn't arrive after we've finally fixed everything. It begins when we can look in the mirror and accept the imperfect person who's already there. This is a conversation about becoming more alive without believing you have to become someone else first. About Tripp Lanier Tripp Lanier coaches men to get out of the rat race, become an authority in their field, and make a great living doing meaningful work they love. From small business owners, to startup founders, to Navy SEALs — Tripp has coached anyone and everyone who refuses to settle, play it safe, or follow the herd. As host of The New Man Podcast, he's racked up millions of downloads conducting interviews with extraordinary thinkers in business, personal growth, and spirituality. He lives a quiet, simple life with his wife and daughter near the beach in North Carolina. Learn more at TrippLanier.com and TheNewManPodcast.com.

    Tripp Lanier: Freedom, Aliveness, Self-Worth, and the Courage to Be Yourself

  5. Aug 21

    Mike Van Pelt: Why Men Need Community and the Courage to Ask for Help

    What if asking for help isn't weakness, but one of the strongest things a man can do? Mike Van Pelt joins The Self-Leadership Lab for a wide-ranging conversation about what it means to be a man in today's world and why we were never meant to navigate life alone. Mike is the founder of True Man Life Coaching, host of the True Man Podcast, author of True Man True Ways, and founder of American Family Renaissance. We explore why so many men attach their identity to careers, money, possessions, and status, and what happens when those things become the measure of who we are. We also talk about the difference between solitude and isolation, the power of men's groups, marriage and presence, learning to listen, mentorship across generations, decision fatigue, and why slowing down may be exactly what many of us need. At the heart of the conversation is a simple idea: Self-leadership is personal, but that doesn't mean it should be practiced alone. Sometimes growth begins by finding the right people, becoming curious enough to listen, and being willing to ask for help. Connect with Mike: https://www.americanfamilyrenaissance.org/

    Mike Van Pelt: Why Men Need Community and the Courage to Ask for Help

  6. Aug 18

    Episode 100: I'm Still Learning to Lead Myself

    When I started The Self-Leadership Lab, I thought I was creating a podcast to help other people learn how to lead themselves. One hundred episodes later, I think the person it has taught the most might be me. For this special 100th episode, I'm looking back at five lessons that have changed how I understand self-leadership: You have to be honest with yourself. Discipline is an act of stewardship. No one succeeds alone. Stop trying to become impressive. Become faithful. Self-leadership isn't about becoming someone new. I also share some of the struggles behind the microphone, what community has taught me, why I'm rethinking my definition of self-leadership, and why I believe this journey is much more about faithful practice than finally "arriving." As I say in the episode: Maybe self-leadership isn't about creating a new identity. Maybe it's the faithful stewardship of what God has already given you. Thank you to everyone who has been part of the first 100 episodes of The Self-Leadership Lab. I hope you'll join me for the next 100. Scripture referenced: Galatians 6:2 and Psalm 139:14.

    Episode 100: I'm Still Learning to Lead Myself

  7. Aug 14

    Aaron Ryan | Creativity, AI, and Why Your Focus Determines Your Reality

    What does it take to write more than 50 books while building a successful career as a professional voice actor? This week on The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby welcomes bestselling author and voice actor Aaron Ryan for a fascinating conversation about creativity, entrepreneurship, writing, and the opportunities, and challenges, facing creators in the age of artificial intelligence. Aaron shares his unconventional writing process, why he creates book covers before writing a single page, how he balances multiple creative careers, and why he believes authentic human creativity can never be replaced by technology. In this episode: • Becoming a professional voice actor • Writing more than 50 books • The difference between planning and discovery writing • How to overcome the fear of writing your first book • Creativity in an AI-driven world • Why authentic work always stands apart • The power of focus and intentional living If you've ever wanted to write a book, build a creative business, or simply become more intentional with your gifts, this conversation is for you. Visit Aaron’s website at https://www.authoraaronryan.com, join his exclusive Facebook group at authoraaronryangroup.com, or check out his store at authoraaronryanstore.com.

    Aaron Ryan | Creativity, AI, and Why Your Focus Determines Your Reality

  8. Aug 11

    Becoming Faithful Instead of Impressive: Who Were You Before the World Told You Who to Be?

    Have you ever felt like you're trying to become someone else just to be enough? In this solo episode, I share a realization that has reshaped the way I think about personal growth and self-leadership. Inspired by Michelangelo's famous sculpture of David, we'll explore a different way of thinking about growth and not by adding more to our lives, but by removing everything that isn't truly us. Together we'll talk about: Why we may never have been "lost" Confidence versus competence The trap of comparison Becoming faithful instead of merely impressive Psalm 139:14 Romans 12:2 Questions to help you uncover who God created you to be Maybe self-leadership isn't about creating a new identity. Maybe it's about faithfully stewarding the one God has already given you.

    Becoming Faithful Instead of Impressive: Who Were You Before the World Told You Who to Be?
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About

The Self-Leadership Lab is where purpose, discipline, and personal mastery get broken down, tested, and rebuilt. Hosted by author and coach Bobby Shelton, this podcast explores the real work of leading yourself before you lead anyone else. Each episode dives into the practices, psychology, and “inner lab work” behind self-awareness, self-discipline, and meaningful growth. If you’re ready to trade performative busyness for intentional living and choose the kind of work that truly shapes you, this is your place. Welcome to The Self-Leadership Lab.

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