Eldercare Illuminated Torchlight

Mark Resnick’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014. Five years later, as the disease progressed and COVID began to shut down the country, Mark was plunged into the intimate world of caring for a loved one with a dementia diagnosis in the middle of a pandemic.

Mark learned more about himself and his dad than he ever anticipated. The result is Ten Days with Dad: Finding Purpose, Passion, & Peace During The Darkest Days of Alzheimer's and COVID-19.

Join us for this episode of Eldercare Illuminated to hear Mark explain what those dark days revealed and how his lifelong ambition to write a book “happened.” Somehow, Mark’s journaling habit resulted in a book that shares life lessons through stories of his youth and his father’s Alzheimer’s journey. Part memoir, part homage to Dad, Ten Days follows Mark’s childhood, being raised with his two brothers by a single father in the suburbs of Boston to his days as his father’s primary caregiver.

About Our Guest:

Father, son, brother, husband, coach: Mark Resnick has had many roles. He explores how these relationships and responsibilities have affected his outlook and the way he lives his life today. Learn more about Mark or reach out to him via his website at https://www.markjresnick.com.

The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) is a U.S. law that requires covered employers to provide employees with protected, unpaid leave for certain medical and family reasons. Yet, many Americans are unsure of the ways in which FMLA could make a significant difference in their ability to meet parenting or caregiving responsibilities as a working person. Join Torchlight host Stefanie Boucher for a conversation with Teri Weber, a partner and Senior Vice President at Spring Consulting group and subject matter expert on employee benefits and absence management programs, including FMLA. In this episode, you’ll learn about:

•FMLA basics, including who is eligible to use FMLA and what criteria must be met;
•How to talk to your employer about using FMLA to meet medical or family needs;
•What to do if you’re getting resistance from your employer; and,
•More!

About Our Guest:

Teri Weber is a partner and Senior Vice President with Spring Consulting Group. She has over 15 years of experience in health and welfare plan strategy, design, and implementation. In addition, she is a subject matter expert on absence management programs, including disability, family medical leave, and leave of absence tracking. Her areas of expertise have allowed her to work with diverse employers and vendors to streamline processes and programs to meet the needs of both employers and employees. Teri holds a BS from the University of Connecticut and an MBA from the University of Massachusetts.

Are you caring for a seriously ill loved one? If so, perhaps there are moments when you feel overwhelmed or even powerless as you try to get (and give) your loved one the best possible care. In this episode, join Torchlight hosts Lenore Tracey and Stefanie Boucher for a conversation with Erin Mulqueen Galyean, author of Badass Advocate: Becoming the Champion Your Seriously Ill Loved One Deserves. Whether your child or loved one is hospitalized or at home, listen to learn how to:

- Build a support team for you and the patient and ask for help when you need it;
- Overcome fear of authority figures and ask doctors effective questions;
- Balance self-care with patient care; and,
- More!

About Our Guest:

Erin Mulqueen Galyean is an author and speaker who trains sales professionals in effective communication with healthcare providers. She lost her father to Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 1997 and her sister to a rare lung disease in 2018. Fueled by these heartbreaking experiences, Erin helps others become powerful advocates for the seriously ill loved ones in their lives.

People are encouraged to plan for retirement (Save money!) and dying (Make a will!). But many of us — maybe most of us — forget that there can be a long (and expensive) time in between.

In this episode, host Lenore Tracey talks with author, humorist, and elder law attorney Cathy Sikorski. Cathy’s new book, 12 Conversations: How To Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning gives caregivers and future care recipients — all of us — reasons to talk to each other about how we’ll pay for care and what types of care we want. Better yet, Cathy gives us the language to deal with these conversations, no matter who you’re talking to — Mom, Dad, your grown-up kids, your Uncle Fred, your doctor, or your mom’s doctor.

Check out what long-term care care costs where you (or your loved one) live: https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html. Best to be sitting down when you do this! Then commit to having those important conversations with the people you love.

*Genworth Financial 2021 Cost of Care Survey

About Our Guest:

Cathy Sikorski has been a caregiver for the last 25 years for eight different family members and friends. A published author and humorist, Sikorski is also a practicing elder law attorney. Her legal expertise and sense of humor have made her a sought-after speaker where she tackles the legal issues that affect those who will one day be or need a caregiver (which is everyone).

Cathy’s most recent book, 12 Conversations: How To Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning offers practical advice for discussing this difficult topic with your aging parents, your adult children, your siblings, your spouse, and other key players you will meet as a caregiver - or a care recipient. Cathy’s wicked sense of humor and commitment to straight talk will prepare you to get through these conversations successfully - maybe even gracefully!

Cathy’s first book was a memoir, Showering with Nana: Confessions of a Serial (killer) Caregiver. That was followed by Who Moved My Teeth? - a humorous and informative book with practical and legal tips for caregivers and baby boomers. Cathy maintains an active blog “You just have to Laugh…where Caregiving is Comedy…”.

If you’re looking for a book to create an engrossing TV series, Kate Washington’s Already Toast should be high on your list. Published in March 2021, the book chronicles Kate’s life as a caregiver after her husband is diagnosed with a rare cancer. Lenore Tracey, host of Eldercare Illuminated, spoke with Kate about what it was like for her as the trajectory of her life is turned upside down.

Sailing into their 40s with no expectation of the disaster that was about to strike, Kate and her husband were raising two children, working, and enjoying successful careers in sunny California. This is the story of their family, plunged into the murky waters of caregiving. It highlights the distressingly inadequate systems that support American families when serious illness strikes. Kate learns caregiving while caregiving – scant on-the-job training for an unanticipated job. She shares how the experience enlightened her and changed her, how historical notions of women as caregivers fare in modern America, and how we might address some of the failings of a fragmented medical and social care construct that many of us will find ourselves immersed in, whether we like it or not.

About Our Guest:

Kate Washington is a writer in Northern California. Her book, Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America (Beacon Press, March 2021), shines a stark light on the experience of family caregivers. Largely left on their own to navigate the medical, insurance, work, and social support systems involved when a loved one becomes ill, caregivers are ill prepared and unsupported as they struggle to manage family and work responsibilities. With 53 million family caregivers in (Caregiving in the U.S. 2020, National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP), Already Toast is a must read for family caregivers, health care and social support workers, and policy makers.

Visit Kate’s website at https://www.kawashington.com/already-toast.html.

In this episode, host Lenore Tracey and award-winning documentary producer Paula Sellars consider a question that caregivers don’t usually think about — What if I’m not willing, able, or happy to be a caregiver? And it’s obvious companion thought — But I have to do this anyway!

Caregiving is an act of love, devotion, duty, and responsibility. We may have planned to care for our elders, and we may have vowed “in sickness and in health.” We may also have a troubled relationship with the family member or friend who needs our help. Or we may turn green at the sight of blood, need a full eight hours of sleep to be remotely human, or be raising four-year-old triplets.

Listen to two eldercare professionals, (who are also caregivers who have “been there and done that”) discuss how to accept thinking the unthinkable and cope with the must-do’s of a caregiver’s life.

About Our Guest:

Paula Sellars, MSW is an expert in adult learning, training development, and training delivery, particularly in promoting large-scale social change. Paula is the originator of an award-winning training method called Docutraining®, which integrates documentary style film, practical behavioral directives, and human empowerment training to produce reliable behavior change. In her role as president & director of curriculum development at Vistalynk, LLC (https://www.vistalynk.com/vistalynk-home) she brings this same evidence-informed training methodology to support understanding, reflection, intention, and behavior change to aging and caregiving relationships. Paula is also a personal development and entrepreneurial coach.