Empowered with Immigrant Parents

Allison Ly
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Are you juggling the weight of caring for your immigrant parents while also living out your dreams? Are you finding yourself stuck in negative self-talk, guilt, fear, burnout, or resentment? If so, you're not alone. I get it. I've been there.   But here’s the thing: you don’t have to choose between your goals, ambitions, and caring for your loved ones. This podcast is your guide to empower yourself to thrive in both worlds - so that you can take care of yourself AND your loved ones in ways that work for you.   The pressure to be the best version of yourself, to give your family everything they need, and to chase your own dreams… it’s real. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m Allison Ly — a fellow adult child of immigrant parents here as your coach and host. I have a background in mental health therapy and have worked with adults with immigrant parents, or individuals with immigrant backgrounds for 10+ years.   In this podcast, I’m going to give you practical tips, relatable stories, and the tools to navigate the unique challenges of being an adult with immigrant parents.  You’ll learn how to show up for yourself, your career, and your relationships in ways that feel authentic, without feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process. Let's leave the negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-sacrifice patterns behind so that you can start to unlock your fullest potential. If you’re ready to feel even more empowered, and confident, and show up as the best version of yourself - while still giving back to those you love hit subscribe to start to unlock your fullest potential.  Check out my website: www.heyallisonly.com 

  1. 4d ago

    25. 4 Ways to Move Forward Beyond Guilt and Expectations w/ Dana Malstaff from BossMom

    Ep 25: Breaking Second Generation Cultural ExpectationsMove Forward Using These 4 Steps to Keep Cultural Factors in MindFeatured On This Episode:Dana Malstaff, Chief Visionary, Founder of BossMomWebsite: https://bossmom.com/ Instagram: @danamalstaffBossMom Podcast: https://bossmom.com/podcast/ Dana Malstaff is the founder of BossMom, a brand and app on a mission to change the landscape of motherhood. Because moms aren't going to build new things, create wealth, or model what's possible for their kids inside a system that wasn't built for their lives... they need support, space, and a different way of doing things. That's what BossMom is for. Dana is an author, speaker, podcaster, and the creator of Nurture to Convert marketing, and she's spent over a decade helping moms build businesses that actually fit the lives they're living.If you've ever felt stuck between taking care of your family and building the life you wantIf you've ever wondered whether you're being a "bad daughter" for choosing yourselfOr if you've struggled with guilt every time you try to do something differentThis conversation is for you.I joined Dana Malstaff, founder of BossMom, to talk about what it's really like growing up with immigrant parents as a second generation adult. We talk about why so many adults with immigrant parents feel responsible for everyone else, and what actually helps you move toward the life and relationships you want.We talk about the thoughts that quietly keep us stuck, why boundaries feel so uncomfortable, and how you can start making changes without feeling like you're abandoning the people you love.If you're trying to build a career, start a business, become a better parent, or simply feel more at peace in your relationships, I think you'll see yourself in this conversation.Stay until the end to get the 4 key things you can start doing today to comfortably start doing more of what you truly desire. ✨ If this episode resonates with you, subscribe for more conversations on navigating life as a millennial mom with immigrant parents.Also check out the BossMom Podcast here:  https://bossmom.com/podcast/ ___More from Allison Ly  | Free Resources:Get On My Priority List For Millennial Moms with Immigrant ParentsHow to create more calm, peaceful and dare I say FUN moments with your parents through your GRIEF➡️ https://www.heyallisonly.com/coachingStop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: ➡️ https://www.heyallisonly.com/cheatsheet Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: ➡️ https://heyallisonly.com/email 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: ➡️https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Free Resource Library:➡️ https://www.heyallisonly.com/library ___Episode Timeline: 0:19 — Welcome to Empowered with Immigrant Parents1:01 — How this conversation came to be4:08 — Meet Dana Malstaff & Allison Ly7:11 — Helping adults with immigrant parents15:55 — Mindset shifts that matter22:10 — When guilt leads to burnout29:34 — Creating the relationships you want37:43 — Four Key Takeaways To Move Forward ___Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/25Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  2. Jun 16

    Honoring and Healing Generational Patterns

    Ep 24: Honor Your Motherhood PanelHonoring Your Motherhood, Healing Generational PatternsWe talk about motherhood, generational patterns, family dynamics, self-care, taking up space, and what it means to honor what you need and what you’re feeling.Allison Ly, LCSW,  Faith-Ann Young and Sara Stanizai, LMFT share about how they honor their own experiences at the Honor Your Feelings Fest hosted by Asian Mental Health Project. We talk about:- How to create space for yourself- Generational patterns and inherited dynamics- The pressure to care for everyone- What we owe to our parents, children, and ourselves- What self-care looks like in daily life- What we choose to keep and what we choose to leave behindMentioned in Podcast: Asian Mental Health Project Website: https://www.asianmentalhealthproject.com/ Instagram: @asianmentalhealthprojectSara Stanizai, LMFTProspect Therapy, Founder Website: https://www.prospecttherapy.comInstagram: @prospecttherapyFaith-Ann YoungArtist, Community Activist + Mother of 2 Website: https://www.faithannyoung.com Instagram: @faithannyoungBios:Asian Mental Health Project provides educational resources and community care initiatives that help make mental health care more accessible and approachable for the Pan-Asian community. Sara is a licensed marriage and family therapist who founded Prospect Therapy to create a queer- and trans-affirming practice specifically serving first-generation American and immigrant communities. In addition to being primarily a couples therapist, Sara is a sought-after speaker and facilitator on a variety of topics including queer and trans healthcare, family relationship dynamics, and the Afghan-American experience. She has a special place in her heart for fellow eldest daughters carrying intergenerational responsibilities, and helps them continue meaningful traditions while making room for themselves. She serves on the board of Asian Mental Health Collective and Mind-1-1. Sara is passionate and knowledgeable about leadership in marginalized communities, and believes in the importance of lived experience in the professional world. Faith-Ann is a Los Angeles–based, half-Japanese artist working across photography, textiles, and installation. Inspired by her Japanese heritage and family history, her work explores memory, belonging, and cultural connection through immersive and participatory experiences. She is the creator of Kibō Nobori (“hope flags”), a community art project inspired by traditional Japanese koinobori that has been presented in Little Tokyo for the past five years. In 2026, Young received a Certificate of Recognition from the City of Los Angeles for her contributions to Children’s Day celebrations and the preservation of Japanese cultural traditions in Los Angeles.___Free Resources From Allison Ly:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://www.heyallisonly.com/cheatsheet Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email Free Resource Library:https://www.heyallisonly.com/library _________Episode Timeline:1:25 Why This Conversation Matters (Even If You're Not a Parent)3:35 Meet the Panelists10:25 Creating Space for Yourself 20:30 Unconditional Love, Re-Parenting, and Self-Worth26:45 Generational Patterns and Family Expectations40:10 What Do We Owe Our Parents, Children, and Ourselves?48:00 The Repay Cycle: When Caring Turns Into Self-Sacrifice55:20 What Healing and Self-Care Actually Look Like1:05:30 What We Keep and Leave Behind1:14:20 Honoring YourselfShow notes and more: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/24Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  3. Jun 2

    Why Comparing Yourself to Your Parents Hurts You

    Ep 23: Why Comparing Yourself to Your Parents HurtsStop Comparing Yourself to Your Parents while Still Honoring ThemHaving immigrant parents, it can be hard to make sense of our experiences without feeling guilty about what our parents went through and comparing our experiences with theirs. In this episode, I share some of the questions from the Honor Your Motherhood panel held by Asian Mental Health Project that we didn't get to answer live. These questions are so important. Whether you're a parent or not, you can reflect on the stories you've inherited, the patterns you may still be carrying, and how to create more space for your own needs, feelings, and growth.I talk about family history, self-care, and what it really means to honor your parents' experiences without losing yourself in the process.Take a listen if you've ever wondered:- How do I have compassion for my parents without dismissing my own experience?- Where is the line between honoring their sacrifices and carrying their pain?- What can self-care actually look like in everyday life?Mentioned in Podcast: Asian Mental Health Project Website: https://www.asianmentalhealthproject.com/ Instagram: @asianmentalhealthprojectAttend their next Honor Your Feelings FestInsight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/ UCLA Mindful App: https://www.uclahealth.org/ulcamindful/ucla-mindful-app _________More from Allison Ly  | Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://www.heyallisonly.com/cheatsheet Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://www.heyallisonly.com/resourceGet my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Free Resource Library:https://www.heyallisonly.com/library Episode Timeline:2:49 How your parents' story shapes the way you parent8:50 Q1: Something she used to believe that was quietly hurting her11:01 How to hold two painful truths at the same time12:46 Q2: Where do you draw the line?15:43 The warning sign most people miss until it's too late18:36 The shame around talking about your family19:14 Q3: What does self-care actually look like?24:55 The one mindset shift worth tryingShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/23Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  4. May 12

    Why Feeling Your Feelings is Hard and What to Do About It

    Ep 22: Why Feeling Your Feelings is Hard and What to Do About It2 Quick Ways to Honor Your Feelings and Inner ChildFollow Asian Mental Health Project Website: https://www.asianmentalhealthproject.com/ Instagram: @asianmentalhealthprojectAttend their next Honor Your Feelings Festhttps://www.eventbrite.com/e/honor-your-feelings-fest-tickets-1984586818598#organizer-card___More from Allison Ly  | Free Resources:Free Resource Library:https://www.heyallisonly.com/library Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://www.heyallisonly.com/cheatsheet Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://www.heyallisonly.com/resourceGet my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start _________It can be difficult to honor your feelings in general. And then on top of that, it’s extra difficult when you may not exactly know what you’re feeling. And honoring your feelings is so important. In this episode, I’m reflecting on my experience speaking at Honor Your Feelings Fest with Asian Mental Health Project and sharing why honoring your feelings can feel especially difficult as an adult with immigrant parents. I talk about why so many of us struggle to identify our emotions, and how constantly focusing on everyone else can disconnect us from ourselves.I also share practical mindset shifts and reflections around emotional awareness, self-talk, motherhood, play, healing, and learning how to create space for yourself. Episode Timeline:00:00 Why Honoring Our Feelings Matter00:41 Honor Your Feelings Fest By Asian Mental Health Project01:55 Meditation in the Noise03:48 Fun Healing05:17 Honor Your Feelings Fest Highlights 06:30 Why Immigrant Kids Struggle09:25 Ask Yourself This Three Times13:13 Check in on This15:40 Try ThisShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/22Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  5. Apr 14

    The One Word That’s Sabotaging Your Relationships & Self-Talk

    Ep 21:  The Word That's Holding You Back (and why) Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email_________What if the way you are using this word is quietly shaping how you feel in your relationships?This is something that’s been coming up a lot lately and can have a much bigger impact than you might think. This may be especially true for adults with immigrant parents, where communication, guilt, and this feeling of being responsible for others’ and for so much for is already feeling so complicated. We don’t always realize what we are needing and wanting in the moment. But paying attention to this word can be so helpful to tapping into that more and also getting our needs met more.Even if it’s happening after the fact.Because when you begin to notice these things, and make these small shifts, you may also start to shift how you feel, how you show up, and what feels possible in your relationships.Episode Timeline:00:00 The Word to Be Mindful Of02:27 Why This Word Matters03:49 This is Vague 05:49 Being More Direct 08:47 What if You Don’t Know10:35 Choices13:49 How Guilt Plays a Role15:15 Some Phrases to Use InsteadShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/21Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  6. Mar 31

    Guilt, Growth, and Joy: 5 Reminders

    Ep: 20 Take care of your inner child with these 5 remindersJoin my exclusive email community for adults with immigrant parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailAs adults with immigrant parents, you’re probably used to having so much responsibility, pressure, and thinking about what you should be doing instead of thinking about you.I share 5 reminders that you may benefit from.Because the truth is… for a lot of us as adults with immigrant parents, childhood wasn’t always simple.There was responsibility.Pressure.Sometimes even roles we took on before we were ready.If you’ve been feeling stuck in responsibility, guilt, or pressure… this is a conversation that might shift something for you.If this resonates, come join my email community for more conversations like this:https://heyallisonly.com/emailAnd if you haven’t already, subscribe to Empowered with Immigrant Parents for more tools, stories, and mindset shifts to help you care for your family without losing yourself.__________More From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:00 - The one truth about growing up with immigrant parents no one talks about0:31 - Why these 5 childhood lessons hit different as an adult3:00 - Most adults have forget this6:43 - The one feeling we all avoid8:10 - How I see failure10:57 - Why you're being too hard on yourself 13:19 - The lost childhood skill that's holding you backShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/20Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  7. Mar 17

    The Immigrant Stories That Shape You (Even If No One Told Them) featuring Jaime Jo Hoang, Author

    Ep 19: The Immigrant Stories That Shape You (Even If No One Told Them)Featured Guest:Jamie Jo Hoang, Authorwww.heyjamie.comInstagram: @heyjamiereadsLike this conversation? Join my exclusive email community for adults with immigrant parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailWhat if you could get some closure, some healing from your parent’s past? Even if they don’t tell you? That’s what reading Jaime Jo Hoang’s books (My Mother the Mermaid Chaser and My Father the Panda Killer) did for me.Author Jamie Jo Hoang joins me for a thoughtful conversation about identity, family, generational trauma, boundaries, and what it can look like to approach our parents and ourselves with more compassion. This conversation touches on the unspoken parts of growing up in an immigrant family, why some stories feel hard to face, and how we can start to create a different type of understanding and relationship. We talk about:- Growing up with family histories that were never fully explained- Why stories can become powerful conversation starters across generations- The complexity of boundaries in immigrant families- What it means to hold compassion without dismissing your own experience- Identity, healing, sibling relationships, and generational patterns- Jamie’s books My Father, the Panda Killer and My Mother, the Mermaid ChaserAbout Jaime:Jamie Jo Hoang is the daughter of Vietnamese refugees. She grew up in Orange County, CA—not the rich part. She is the author of MY MOTHER, THE MERMAID CHASER, MY FATHER, THE PANDA KILLER and BLUE SUN, YELLOW SKY. Her work has also appeared in TIME, SALON and TinyBuddha.More From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:28 – Meet Jaime Jo Hoang, Author1:00 - Writing About Immigrant Family Trauma4:30 - What Her Parents Did When They Found Out She Wrote a Book14:50 - How to Set Boundaries With Immigrant Parents Without Guilt18:50 - Breaking Generational Trauma: Every Generation Has Its Task25:36 - A Question About Immigrant Guilt40:33 - Unspoken Topics Around War44:26 - Why Self-Compassion Is Harder48:15 - Which Book to Read First: Mermaid Chaser vs Panda KillerPodcast Episode Mentioned:InfatuAsian Podcast Ep 194 Author Jamie Jo Hoang on Writing the Stories Our Vietnamese Parents Never Tell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FiSUH5IdtxTIagcm44HCE?si=b6b3df3479b246a6Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/19Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

  8. Feb 17

    Raising Bilingual Kids Without Pressure and Guilt as a Second-Generation Parent, with Sophie Tran from Mommy and Me Vietnamese

    Adults with immigrant parents and millennial parents raising bilingual kids: Vietnamese language learning, heritage culture, boundary setting, and emotional regulation without forcing it or losing yourself.Featured Guest:Sophie Tran, Founder of Mommy & Me VietnameseMommy and Me Vietnamese:  https://www.youtube.com/@TheHeTreTV Instagram: @mommyandmevietnameseEp 18: Millennial Parents: Raising Bilingual Kids Without PressureFeaturing Sophie Tran, Founder of Mommy & Me Vietnamese📌 Join my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilt➡️ https://heyallisonly.com/secretWhat if learning Vietnamese (or any heritage language) didn’t have to come with pressure, guilt, or feeling like you’re failing your kid?In this episode of Empowered with Immigrant Parents, I’m joined by Sophie Tran, founder of Mommy and Me Vietnamese (and yes, the songs will get stuck in your head in a good way).We talk about the emotional layers underneath “passing down culture” for millennial parents and adults with immigrant parents. Because it’s not just language. It’s identity, belonging, healing, and the very real reality of motherhood, time, and unrealistic expectations.In this conversation, we get into:- How to teach Vietnamese in a way that feels fun, gentle, and consistent- What happens when culture is tied to shame, criticism, or survival mode- Why many of us grew up with only “happy” and “sad” (and how that impacts emotional health)- Boundaries in immigrant families, family roles, and staying connected without abandoning yourself-How we can separate our identity from how our children doMore From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:00 – Meet Sophie Tran, founder of Mommy and Me Vietnamese1:38 – Vietnamese language legacy: Thế Hệ Trẻ and bilingual education for second-generation kids13:00 – Millennial parents reclaiming Vietnamese identity18:40 – Setting boundaries with immigrant parents without confrontation26:00 – Teaching emotions in Vietnamese: emotional intelligence in bilingual families29:00 – Representation matters: Vietnamese dolls, books, and cultural representation39:00 – Realistic expectations in heritage language learning (why forcing Vietnamese backfires)Links mentioned:Red Episode:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKQ0gryys2E&t=1sLove to Sing Books: https://lovetosingbooks.com Joey Dolls: https://joeydolls.com/ Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/18Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

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Are you juggling the weight of caring for your immigrant parents while also living out your dreams? Are you finding yourself stuck in negative self-talk, guilt, fear, burnout, or resentment? If so, you're not alone. I get it. I've been there.   But here’s the thing: you don’t have to choose between your goals, ambitions, and caring for your loved ones. This podcast is your guide to empower yourself to thrive in both worlds - so that you can take care of yourself AND your loved ones in ways that work for you.   The pressure to be the best version of yourself, to give your family everything they need, and to chase your own dreams… it’s real. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m Allison Ly — a fellow adult child of immigrant parents here as your coach and host. I have a background in mental health therapy and have worked with adults with immigrant parents, or individuals with immigrant backgrounds for 10+ years.   In this podcast, I’m going to give you practical tips, relatable stories, and the tools to navigate the unique challenges of being an adult with immigrant parents.  You’ll learn how to show up for yourself, your career, and your relationships in ways that feel authentic, without feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process. Let's leave the negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-sacrifice patterns behind so that you can start to unlock your fullest potential. If you’re ready to feel even more empowered, and confident, and show up as the best version of yourself - while still giving back to those you love hit subscribe to start to unlock your fullest potential.  Check out my website: www.heyallisonly.com 

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