NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor
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Healing Tools for Women Are you feeling lost after breaking free from a toxic relationship? Are you afraid you will get sucked back in, whether it is with the same narcissist or a new one? Are you ready to finally live in peace? In this podcast, you will find healing methods and coping solutions to set you free from narcissistic abuse and its effects. My mission is to equip you to become strong and free through confidence building, proven healing methods and finding peace. If you’re ready to say yes to thriving after abuse and stop chasing everything that hasn’t worked for a plan that will- you’re in the right place! Hey, I’m Christy. A mom, wife and a ruthless narcissist avoider! For years of my life, I went to therapists that didn’t understand narcissism, read generic abuse recovery books and tried things that didn’t help me truly disconnect and break the cycle of narcissistic abuse. I wasted money on tools that didn’t give me lasting results. I finally realized that if I was going to truly disconnect and heal, I had to understand narcissists’ minds and the effects on their victims. After years of education and endless conversations with victims of narcissistic abuse, I created a perfect plan to not just disconnect fully from the current narcissists in my life, but to avoid getting sucked in by future ones, while creating healthy boundaries and healing from the effects of abuse. A life of thriving, not just surviving. And I am ready to share it all with you! If you are a woman ready to finally find a clear cut plan to stop the cycle and heal from narcissistic abuse -effective solutions that have results that are undeniable: like a peaceful night’s sleep, decreased overwhelm, and unshakable confidence, then this podcast is for you! Grab that mocha latte, it’s time to dive in. Wanna work together 1:1, queen? Grab your first power call for mindset and somatic healing now: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ FREE Pocket Guide to Boundaries: https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Have trouble setting or keeping boundaries and want to go deeper? This go at your own pace course is just for you! Grab your (Guilt free!) Empowered Boundaries Course here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Let’s hang out! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/ChristyJade TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercechristyjade Email me! fiercemamac@gmail.com

  1. HÁ 12 H

    Can’t Go No Contact? How to Stop the Obsessive Thoughts, Calm Your Nervous System & Protect Your Peace Around a Narcissist

    Episode Summary If your mind keeps replaying every conversation, argument, or manipulation, you’re not broken — your nervous system is stuck in protection mode. In this episode, Christy Jade explains why obsessive thoughts happen after narcissistic abuse and the exact steps to interrupt the loop so you can finally reclaim your mental space. If you feel mentally hijacked, constantly analyzing them, or exhausted from thoughts you don’t want, this episode will show you how to break the cycle and come back to yourself. What You’ll Learn Why obsessive thinking is a normal trauma response How trauma bonding and hypervigilance keep the loop alive What your brain is trying to protect you from How to interrupt intrusive thoughts without relying on willpower Somatic tools to regulate your nervous system How to restore clarity and stop overthinking Your Next Step in Healing Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching and Somatic Healing For survivors who are stuck in loops, overwhelmed, or ready to finally rebuild peace and self-trust with real support and structure. 1-Month Coaching (Private Support & Nervous System Reset) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly 3-Month Coaching (Deep Healing, Identity Rebuild, Full Transformation) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Paid Resource: Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts If overthinking or panic about how to respond is feeding your mental spiral, these scripts stop it instantly. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course 10 video modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Mama, if you've tried journaling, blocking, deleting, praying, meditating, and you still cannot stop thinking about the narcissist, especially when you can't go no contact because of the kids, court, family, or finances, this episode is going to be a little lifeline for you. Okay? I'm going to break down why your brain won't let go, and the steps to stop the obsessive thoughts. Calm that cute little nervous system of yours and reclaim your peace. Remember your peace bubble. You know about that? Yeah. We want to get your peace bubble on, okay? Even if you're still in contact like frequently. Okay, here we go. (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) All right, Queens, let's go there. Alright, you're not obsessed, you're not weak, you're not crazy. Well, maybe a little crazy, but the good crazy, like my kind of crazy. I like your crazy. Okay, alright. Your brain is actually doing exactly what a brain does when it's been trapped in a cycle of trauma plus unpredictability. Okay? So here's what's happening. We're going to do the queen breakdown. Number one, the threat detector part of your brain. It's still on patrol, it's still out there with its shield, with its sword, it's ready. So when you have to share a child, a house, a calendar school event, your brain is scanning, what will their mood be like today? Will they explode? Will they pull something? This is hypervigilance, and it's not like your character flaw, it's just survival mode, what you've been conditioned to do. Number two, your nervous system is addicted to the pattern, so it's not addicted to them. (02:51) This is a misconception. You're not really addicted to them. You have been, again, kind of conditioned to be addicted to the cycle, the anticipation, the crash, the tiny breadcrumbs of calm that can happen here and there. Your body learned to stay ready. So that leads us to number three, this lack of closure that keeps that loop spinning, right? That addictive loop. So narcissists don't give real endings. They don't give apologies, especially legit ones. They might really fake it. They don't give ownership accountability, and they sure as hell don't give the truth. So your brain keeps searching for what it never got and it is still not getting. Number four, if you cannot go no contact, that loop resets every single time they pop up One email, one we need to talk, one school event where they walk in like a ghost of drama past. Oh, you feel that? (04:13) Feel the holidays coming. Yeah, you're going to feel 'em big time. You got a narc. We'll definitely do an episode about that. But then boom, the cycle restarts. You are not imagining this. This is a biological reason that you can't shut it off F. So why just ignoring them doesn't really work for you. A lot of advice online is for people who get to go no contact. I've even shared episodes at that, right? It's a great thing if you can do that. But for most survivors, I would say at least 90% of my clients now, maybe more now, actually, you are living with them while separating. Maybe you're dealing with maybe a narcissistic parent. So even if you're not co-parenting, there could be this reason you can't disconnect. Totally. Maybe you're stuck in the same town, the same friendship circle, the same court system, the same school. (05:26) Let me say this clearly, you cannot regulate your nervous system by pretending danger is not danger. You regulate it by understanding what's happening inside of you and giving your body a different experience. Which brings us to drum roll. That's my really sad attempt at a drum roll. Can you hear it? Okay, how to stop the obsessive thoughts, the brain loop breakers. So, alright, loop breaker number one, give your brain a script. Your brain like mine hates uncertainty. So what are we going to do? We're going to give it certainty, ladies, okay? Try this phrase. This thought is not a warning, it's a leftover survival response. This thought is not a warning. It's not like a reality warning, right? It's a leftover survival response. And so you can repeat that every time the intrusive thought hits and you're teaching your brain, this is old danger, not current danger. (06:40) This isn't my current reality, right? Loop breaker number two, the 92nd nervous system reset, baby. This is quick, right? 90 seconds, we all have 90 seconds. It's gentle and it works. Okay? So number one, put your hand to your heart. Two exhale longer than you inhale, right? You inhale four seconds in, and then you're going to exhale six seconds out. So you're really expelling that breath. And then three, look around the room and name five things you can see. Look at my beautiful palm tree. Look at my beautiful palm tree pajamas. Do you notice a pattern? I like palm trees. Oh, palm tree comforter. I'm not lying, you guys. Alright, so you get the idea though. You're looking around finding five things and this tells your brain we are not with the narcissist right now. We're safe. (07:42) We're in Palm Beach, baby. Okay, now, loop breaker number three. This is the micro no contact method. So even when you can't go full, no contact, you can create these little predictable micro boundaries. These kind of like rules. Boundaries only respond at certain times, only respond through one channel. Many of my clients, if you're listening, you're like, yeah, here Christie is, we've heard these before, right? Keep it simple. Only use short factual sentences. Do not take the bait, do not get emotional. Do not fall into their traps of oversharing your information. They don't need it. Short, factual sentences, no emotional explanations. Let's highlight that. They want your emotions. They can use them against you later. It's one of their favorite pastimes and present times if you let it be. Don't. And no jade is in this so beautiful, but this is my name, right? Christy Jade, huh? (08:51) And it can stand for no justifying JA for arguing. No arguing. D, for defending. Do not defend yourself. You have no reason to and no explaining. You don't need to explain shizz. Okay? So Jade, justify, argue, defend, explain. Don't do none of 'em. So this cuts down the emotional activation and the mental replay. Isn't that beautiful? So beautiful. Alright, in our last loop breaker number four. Last but not least, interrupt the fantasy. We don't just obsess over what happened. We obsess over what might happen, what they could do next, what we should have said, right? I do all those things. I've done all those things. I currently don't do them. I'm not saying I never do. Look, we're never perfect, okay? We are never fully a thousand percent healed. I'm going to throw that out there. So we all have our moments, but this is something, it can be literally night and day still. (09:58) Okay? So we want to get rid of these constantly worrying about what might happen and what I could have done or what could happen next. When you catch your brain running all these future episodes, use this line. We'll handle that. If it happens right now I'm here. It's kind of like cross the bridge, baby, cross that golden bridge. We'll handle it if it happens, and you know I'm going to bring God into this, right? Let's have a God moment together. God's handling it and

    21min

  2. HÁ 3 DIAS

    The Partner After the Narcissist: How to Support a Woman Healing From Toxic Relationships (Without Triggering Her)

    Episode Summary If your partner is healing from narcissistic abuse and you want to support her without triggering past trauma, this episode gives you the essential steps to show up as the safe, steady partner she needs. Today, I’m breaking down what survivors carry into new relationships, the communication shifts that help her feel secure, and the practical ways to be a grounded, supportive partner — especially if her past involved narcissistic or toxic relationships. What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why loving a survivor can feel different (and why it’s not your fault) The nervous system patterns survivors often bring into new relationships How the wrong type of “space” can trigger abandonment fears The power of time-stamped reassurance (and how to use it) Validation vs. problem-solving — and why survivors need both in the right order What NOT to do when she shuts down, spirals, or becomes hypervigilant How healthy, steady love rewires her sense of safety Your Next Step in Healing If this episode helped you understand your partner — or helped you feel seen in your own healing — and you want deeper support, I offer private 1:1 coaching to help women rebuild emotional safety, boundaries, peace, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse. You’re not meant to navigate this alone. You deserve support built for your nervous system and your season of healing. Work With Christy Monthly Coaching and Somatic Healing A powerful month of private support to help you break patterns, rebuild self-trust, regulate your nervous system, and make real movement in your healing. Includes: weekly 1:1 sessions, tailored tools, and coaching support between calls. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ Quarterly Coaching and Somatic Healing Three months of deep transformation designed to help you rise, rebuild, and create lasting internal safety. Includes: weekly 1:1 sessions + unlimited Voxer support between calls for ongoing guidance, integration, and nervous system co-regulation. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/   "Copy.Paste.Peace." Scripts Get the exact boundary, communication, and nervous-system-safe scripts you need for co-parenting, texting, conflict, and more. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Free Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide  Quick-reference boundary scripts, grounding tools, and communication lines you can use today. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Private Facebook Community Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse in a safe, supportive space. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Listener Request If you want a Part 2 specifically for partners — or an episode on how women can learn to receive healthy love after abuse — send me a message and let me know. I’d love to create exactly what you need.   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello. This episode is for Queens and Kings, and if you are a regular listener, it could get some insight into you and what you need for you. But this was created specifically for partners of someone who has gone through narcissistic abuse or just toxic relationships in general, right? So thank you to the listener who wrote in, I don't know if he is a listener, but he knows of me somehow and wrote in asking for information on how to support his partner. That is someone who is recovering and healing from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. So hats off just the fact he wrote in shows so much. So thank you for all the super supportive partners out there, right? So if you are that partner after the narcissist or a friend or someone who just wants to know how to help people who have gone through this abuse, you're the safe one, the steady one, the one that they can finally breathe around or maybe should be able to finally breathe around, right? This episode is for you loving a woman who's healing from toxic relationships. It is different. I don't want to go say it's, oh, it's so much harder, but it is different and there are specific ways to deal with it. Just like everything else. Everyone has their stuff, so I'd like to call it not harder, but different. And if you want to support her without triggering those old wounds, like I said, you're already a rare kind of person. So let's talk about how to show up for them the right way. (01:50) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (02:48) Alright, Kings and queens, because this can be, if you are just a normal listener of mine, this could be beneficial to you to just understand yourself and what you need a little more too, and what you can relay to your partner. And then if you are a partner, then this is definitely for you. So thank you for taking the time to listen to this. If you are a partner, you get a super king or a queen crown on that lovely nugget of yours. Alright, so this person that wrote in said, how do I support my partner in her healing journey and stating that their ex was in other relationships that were toxic and struggling with triggers and open communication. So how do I support her? So yes, thank you for existing and we appreciate you, but here is the real truth. When you love a woman or a man, I'm going to put this kind of generally out there today because men and women will be listening to this who has survived narcissistic abuse. (03:53) You're not just dating her, you're dating her nervous system. She has developed a nervous system in survival mode. So it is going to be different. So today I'm going to give you a foundation, what she's carrying, what accidentally may trigger her, what helps and how to show up as that safe, steady partner that she probably has not had in her life. So this is not going to be a deep dive that deserves its own series. So let me know, please email me if you want this to go deeper, if there is a big need for it, I will do more bonus episodes on this, but this is the starting point. So first, why loving her is different. She doesn't walk into the relationship as a blank slate. I mean no one really does, but she really doesn't, right? She has got hypervigilance, a fear of getting in trouble. (04:55) So imagine living like that all the time. Chronic overexplaining herself, apologizing just for existing, basically fear of conflict, fear of disappointing you and fear that safety is temporary, right? Because she went through love bombing. She went through ups and downs of a narcissist. So even when it felt better, it never lasted. Okay? In her last past relationships, she learned love can turn on you. Affection is unpredictable. You're not always going to get it, and it will be actually kept from you as punishment. Being honest gets you punished. Just stating facts, even if you're not coming at someone in attacking way, will get you punished. And staying quiet is what keeps the peace. Spoiler alert, there's no peace with a narcissist. But at moments, if you stay quiet, that can keep them happy momentarily. There's only moments with narcissists, it's a roller coaster. So when she gets triggered in your relationship, she's not exactly reacting to you. (06:16) I don't want you to be holding this burden of that part of it. She's reacting to that ghost of a person who has trained her nervous system to be and react how it is. So first, you didn't cause the wound. I don't want you to have to have any guilt, any doubts about yourself, okay? Because your peace and your joy is just as important as hers. So you do need to remember that. And there should be no abuse going on to you just because she went through abuse. So if she's carrying abusive behaviors because she's angry because of what she went through, then that's something she needs to heal. And you should not accept that behavior. But your closeness means you stand where it does get activated. She can get triggered because you in your space and when you guys are having conversations or conflicts. (07:13) So what does she need most from you after the narcissist? And these are the core pieces that will help her rebuild that trust and safety over time, over time. This is not overnight. I know that's not fun. We want everything yesterday, especially in 2025, but that's just not going to happen here. So you do have to decide, do I have the patience for this? That is something you have to decide, right? This is a long-term thing, and if you're in it, beautiful, you're amazing. Thank you. And if you feel like you want it to be done in a week from now, you should probably evaluate the relationship. Alright? So number one, what she needs, consistency over hero moves. Okay? She doesn't need fixing, she needs predictable. So your calm, steady presence, being there for her when she needs you. And again, you're not sacrificing your whole life for this person and everything, all your interest and your friends. (08:21) You're not going to isolate yourself like a narcissist does to someone to accommodate. But reassuring goes so far, and we'll get to more of that, but your calm, steady presence heals more than big gestures ever could. Number two, clear and gentle c

    30min

  3. HÁ 5 DIAS

    Your 5 minute Power Shift for Calmer Co-Parenting and Stronger Kids

    The 5-Minute Reset to Protect Your Kids From a Narcissistic Parent (Without Escalating Anything) Episode Summary In this Thrive in 5, Christy Jade guides you through a simple five-minute process that helps you protect your child’s emotional safety when dealing with a narcissistic parent. Instead of reacting from fear, conditioning, or pressure to “keep things smooth,” you’ll learn how to regulate your body, detach from the narcissist’s hooks, and model calm authority your child can immediately feel. This micro-training focuses on one small but powerful shift: stabilizing your own nervous system so your child learns emotional safety, discernment, and self-trust — even when the other parent continues their chaos. These five minutes will change how you show up in high-conflict moments. What You’ll Learn How to identify your body’s early alarm signals during narcissistic tension A simple three-breath pattern to instantly calm your nervous system How to shift out of emotional reactivity and into factual, steady communication One-sentence boundary responses that model calm authority for your child A grounding tool your child can use after visits, calls, or stressful interactions How to reinforce safety without escalating the conflict or feeding the drama Your Next Step in Healing 3-Month Coaching: Deep-Dive Transformational Journey Platinum Coaching (3 months – includes Voxer support) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 1-Month Coaching: Focused Support + Somatic Healing Gold Coaching (1 month) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ The Empowered Boundaries Course 10 training modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Free Resource: The Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community Private support for women recovering from narcissistic abuse https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today's Thrive in five is all about your energy and moments when the narcissistic parent creates tension because your kids absorb your state more than the actual words that are spoken, right? They're little sponges. So you're going to teach your child safety by regulating yourself first, right in the moment. So we're going to give you this advice. You can save this if you're feeling it right now. You can use it now, but you can listen to know what to do. And then definitely save this episode. So in the moment you can refer to it and maybe you can even take little notes. But this is definitely a saver episode. Alright, so you're going to set your timer for five minutes, okay? (01:06) Get yourself a little timer. It can be on your phone. One of those cute ones you have in the kitchen, the little kitchen timers. I have one that's a little mushroom. It's so cute. Alright, squirrel. Okay, so five minutes. Minute one, you're going to notice your body's alarm system. So think of that last text demand or surprise request from the narcissistic parent, right? And your body probably does one of these things. The chest tightens, the stomach drop. I know that one. The shoulders rise all the way up to your ears and your breath gets shallow, right? One of those two of those, all of those. So first, in that first minute, notice it name the sensation out loud like my chest feels tight. Naming it out loud equals calming it. Okay? True, true facts, only true facts here on the Queen's show. Alright, minute two, you're going to then slow the pace for your child. (02:11) Kids mirror your nervous system. Okay? Remember that? So you can repeat this three breath pattern and you can do it silently or with your child if they're present to teach them, right? We're role modeling and teaching our children what to do when stress comes about. So one, you're going to inhale through your nose. Two, you're going to hold it for two seconds, and three, you're going to exhale a little longer than that. Inhale. And this tells your child and yourself, we handle intensity with calm, not chaos. Opposite of the lovely narc, right? We want to be opposite. So we handle intensity with calm, not chaos. Minute three, detach from that narcs hook. Okay? Ask yourself, what is the fact here? Not the feeling. I get it. We are all up in our feelings. We're empaths. We're good hearted people, we've been mind ed, right? I get it. (03:22) But we need to role model and give ourselves peace. So what is the fact? So what's an example of that? The feeling is he's trying to control me again and getting triggered. The fact is pickup is at four. That's all I need to address. Whatever he's trying to do, we don't need to worry about. It's good to know that, right? That's very helpful when you're learning about the narcissist. But we know that already now at this point. Yeah, but our focus is the fact, whatever the deal is, pickup, set for whatever facts are safe, that's our safety feelings. That is the narcissist playground, right? They want to see and feel and hear all your feelings. That's you taking their bait. So this reduces your reactivity and models discernment for your kid, no matter how old they are, if they're two or they are 18. Alright, minute four, we're going to choose one sentence of calm authority. (04:32) So pick one neutral boundaried line, like per the order pickup remains at four o'clock. Or I'll refer to the agreement or I'm not available for additional changes. Short and steady to the point. I always say, don't take the bait, don't get emotional, keep it short. And that equals emotional safety for your child too. Okay? So this is the piece that those kids internalize for life. How are you responding? Calm and authoritative, right? Per the order. Pickup remains at four. It's just the facts. People. We're queens. We don't have time for all these big emotions. Okay? Number five, we're minute five. Sorry. Teach your children one mini skill, okay? And again, refer back to Tuesday's episode. If you have not listened to that, please go listen to that. That's going to really dig into the best ways to deal with the entire situation with a narcissist, dealing with the kids and all of the toxic things you don't want to do yourself. (05:52) And how to keep the peace, but in a way that isn't what you normally would do with someone who's not toxic. So please watch. Listen to that episode if you haven't. So right after contact with the narcissistic parent, you're not going to trash talk them, right? You're going to do the mature adult thing that will keep peace for you and your child. You can't control the narc, okay? Do this one grounding micro practice with your child. And this one, you get to even call it a fun little cute child thing. The butterfly hug. And it's 30 seconds and anyone can learn this and it is good for you. It's good for a 2-year-old. It's good for that 15-year-old who's going to roll their I. So you just cross your arms over your chest. You tap the left side right on the top of your arm tap. (06:46) I'm doing it right now if you can hear, I'm giving myself a good old butterfly hug. And then tap the right, tap the left. Tap the right while you are slowing your breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth. Tap left, tap right. Okay. So cross arms over chest tap left tap right, tap left, tap right. Slow breathing until you feel your nervous system calm. But 30 seconds is a good amount of time and you can say your body knows how to keep you safe. So this teaches them to trust the intuition that therapists, some therapists tell them to ignore that. Tell them to push through and to keep the peace. That's the keeping the peace that I'm not here for. We're not bypassing feelings. We are honoring our intuition, their intuition and teaching them your body knows how to keep you safe. And doing the butterfly hugs. (07:54) There's other examples too, but that's a good one is very important to me. So you don't change a narcissist, you're not going to change the narcissist, but you can change the energetic environment that your child grows up in while they're in your care. And they can do these things. And I know a narc is very controlling, so maybe they can't do it right in the middle of an interaction with their narc parent. But you can tell them if you ever have a tense situation at narc, parents, don't call 'em narc, but narc parents home and there's an interaction that makes you sad or upset, just don't take the bait. You can teach them in children's terms of not taking the bait, just kind of gray rocking a. And when they get a chance to be in private, to go to their room or whatever, teach them the grounding skills they will need because they will need them. (09:05) And again, I say not everyone wants to really say all this out loud. If your child is a child of a narcissist, they need to be prepared. That's okay. We are where we are here. We can't change the past, we can't change what happened. All we can do is do the best with where we are. And your child can still be an amazing, healthy individual. They have you as a parent that is getting healthy, that's learning these tools that cares immensely for them. So they're ahead of a lot of people. Look, there are people with two parents that nobody really teaches them any tools or how to do X, Y, Z. So you are prepared, you're getting prepared and you're helping them prepare for what they need to do to cope with these situations. So this can be little, just five minutes at a time things. (10:02) We have the five minute situation and then we have just the butterfly hug alone. They can do that easy peasy lemon squeezy in 30 seconds that can just calm them down and help their nervous

    15min

  4. 11 DE NOV.

    The Truth Many Therapists Don’t Tell You: How to Protect Your Kids From a Narcissistic Parent (Without Fueling More Drama)

    The Truth Therapists Don’t Tell You: How to Protect Your Kids From a Narcissistic Parent (Without Fueling More Drama) Episode Summary You’ve been told to “keep the peace for the kids.” But what if that advice — the one therapists and co-parenting experts keep repeating — is actually teaching your child to ignore their own intuition? In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down the truth most professionals avoid: you cannot co-parent with a narcissist. You’ll learn how to stop over-accommodating, document every interaction, and teach your child emotional safety without turning them into your confidant. It’s time to protect both your peace and your child’s nervous system while modeling real, grounded strength. If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to “stay civil” while your ex keeps creating chaos, this episode will help you see what real peace looks like — and how to hold it. What You’ll Learn Why traditional co-parenting advice doesn’t work with narcissists How old conditioning keeps you accommodating — and how to stop The importance of documenting every interaction and using third-party apps How to model calm authority and emotional safety for your kids Your Next Step in Healing Empowered Boundaries Course — 10 video modules, meditation bundle, and lifetime access https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching and Somatic Healing Choose your transformation level:  (1-Month Coaching Package): https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly  (3-Month Deep-Dive Coaching Journey): https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade   TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): Queens. I am so excited for this episode. This actually was created because a client of mine and I were talking about this topic and she said, you need to make this an episode. So when y'all speak, I listen. Alright, so you've been told to keep the peace for the kids, right? I'm sure many of you have heard that, but what if that very advice, the ones, many therapists and co-parenting experts keep repeating, is actually quietly teaching your child to ignore their own intuition. So today I'm going to break down the real truth about how to protect your kids from a narc co-parent without losing your sanity or ending up back in court. So let's talk about the advice. Most professionals are too afraid to give you. (00:54) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:52) All right, it's Christie Jade. Today's episode might ruffle a few feathers. We're talking about something I see every single week with my clients, the pressure to keep things smooth with a narcissistic co-parent, even when it's slowly destroying your peace and your child's sense of safety. So yes, obviously we don't want to trigger narcissists into pop-off mode, okay? That's not my point here. But here's the hard truth. Most parenting advice out there does not apply when the other parent is a narcissist. You cannot co-parent with someone who loves chaos, control and manipulation. You can parallel parent, and even then you need to do it with strong ass boundaries and rock solid documentation, which I've talked about on this podcast, right? But today we're going to cut through the guilt, the conditioning, and the miss, okay? You're going to walk away knowing what it looks like to protect your child and yourself legally, emotionally, and energetically without ending up back in court. (03:02) But no guarantees. I'm not a lawyer, okay? I am just your favorite little truth telling queen with a mic. But we're going to do our best here together. Okay? So first of all, the lie you've been sold, you've been told that kids need both parents equally. You've been told to be flexible. Take the high road, keep communication fully open. But when one parent is toxic or narcissistic in our cases, the advice is actually dangerous because flexibility becomes a weapon. So keeping the peace becomes another way of saying keep walking on eggshells, and you'll see what I'm saying here. But yes, we want to keep the peace in the way of, we want our peace to be protected, but keeping the peace in the general way that many experts will tell you how to do will not work in our situation. Okay? So the truth is, you were conditioned to accommodate the narcissist. (04:08) They conditioned you to accommodate them, right? Even after court orders are in place, you may still feel that conditioning. You may still have it even after the chaos nearly broke you. You were trained to minimize their reactions, but that conditioning doesn't just affect you. Your kids feel it and then suffer from it. So your kids are learning from your energy. Kids are intuitive, right? They feel what's happening in the room before they can fully grasp it, even the younger ones. So when you tense up every time a message comes through from your ex, when you overexplain or give in just to keep the peace, they learn that love or relationship means shrinking yourself to stay safe. They don't know the complexities of your relationship with this person. So they're watching you shrink to stay safe, but you were given that mama energy, that protective mama bear energy for a reason. You were chosen to break this pattern, right? Your kids do not need a perfect parent. They need a calm, grounded one who teaches them what real safety feels like because they're not going to get that from little narky narc. Okay? So that starts with one powerful shift. Are you ready? Write it down. Write on your forehead. Stop accommodating dysfunction in the name of peace. (05:53) Okay? Stop accommodating dysfunction in the name of peace. True peace is not built on fear. That's performative peace. Okay? We want true peace for you and your child. So you've got to cut these cords that are still attached to your ex. Okay? I'm going to say this with a little love and a little holy fire. You need to hear it straight. And you know I'm a straight shooter. The narcissist conditioned you to accommodate, right? They trained you to make yourself small, to over explain, to be nice, to keep them calm, maybe even when it was costing you your sanity. And here's the truth, you might've left the relationship, but the programming, it's still running the show. You broke free physically, you're out of the home with them, but emotionally, you're still doing the dance. So let me ask you, why are you still accommodating them? (07:00) Why are you bending, explaining, overthinking every reply like you owe them something you don't. You owe you something. You owe your child something. You owe them the version of you that doesn't flinch at chaos anymore. You've done the hardest part, you got out. Now it's time to cut the final chords. So stop letting their energy dictate your piece. Stop modeling compliance as cooperation, okay? When you keep accommodating the narcissist, all of their little, even if you have the legal papers and they add this and that into it and make you go a little above or you feel a little bad, oh, it's their father, it's this. You're teaching your child the same survival pattern you are trying to unlearn. (07:53) Okay? So here's the mic drop moment here for you, okay? Do not condition your child to do what you did. You got out for a reason. Do not condition your child to do what you did. They deserve to see what calm power looks like. They deserve to see you walk in your authority, not your fear. You're a queen, right? Put on your authority crown. All right? I got to calm down after that one. Woo. It's getting hot in here. So what does that non accommodation actually look like? You're like, that's great, Christie, how do I do that? Well, I'm going to tell you, alright, so without giving the narcissist ammo to drag you back in court, right? And again, I'm not a lawyer, but there's things we can do and documenting everything is very important. So we'll get there. So non accommodation does not mean being rude or reactive, right? (08:55) I'm not saying yell at them, curse at them, call them names. It means being firm consistent. I'm going to say that for the people in the back. I know a lot of you lost consistency because of how you're conditioned. Consistent. That means if you set a boundary, you stick to it, you heard and detached, which I know that can be hard, but if you want the peace you say you're begging for and the peace for your child, then you need to listen. Okay? You stick to the agreements, you stop explaining. You let their discomfort be their problem. So let's do a few examples what that actually looks like. Let's say there's a video call. You have a court order. It says you have one regular call per week, right? You just have a call per week. It doesn't save it's audio, video it just as a call. (09:48) He's demanding video calls because the child owes him FaceTime. Here's your reply. Per our agreement, calls are scheduled once a week by phone. So if it's not listed as video, you'

    28min

  5. 6 DE NOV.

    A 5-Minute Reset for When You Start Blaming Yourself for Their Cheating

    A 5-Minute Reset for When You Start Blaming Yourself for Their Cheating If your brain keeps going back to “What did I do wrong?” after being cheated on by a narcissist — this mini reset is your lifeline. Today’s Thrive in 5 will help you stop making THEIR betrayal mean something about YOUR worth… and gently bring your power and truth back into your own body again. Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to take your recovery deeper — with personalized support? My 3-Month Platinum Coaching Package is where we walk together through the exact steps to rebuild your identity, restore your self-trust, and protect your peace with rock-solid boundaries — so you never tolerate this level of chaos again. 🔥 This is for the woman who is DONE repeating old patterns. 💻 Apply here → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ More Coaching Options GOLD PACKAGE Coaching + Somatic Healing Session: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint   FREE Ways to Connect Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join my Private Facebook Community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade EMAIL: fiercemamac@gmail.com TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five. Your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. If your brain keeps going back to what did I do wrong or what's wrong with me, this is your five minute reset today, especially after Tuesday's episode, all about why narcissists cheat, right? And not having any guilt. We're going to get rid of that. So the part of you that is still taking responsibility for their betrayal, can we say that again? There's part of you that is taking responsibility for their betrayal is the part we're going to release right now. Alright, so step one, we need to interrupt that mental chaos going on. So say this out loud or in your head, repeat after me. Their cheating was a reflection of their emptiness, not my worth. (01:20) Right? We are not allowing your brand to keep making their behavior means something about you anymore. We're done. Okay, step two, we're going to ground that nervous system. So let's take a minute here. If you're in a place, you can, if not save this episode or this part for later and place one hand on your chest and one on your belly and you're going to breathe in for four seconds in 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold for two seconds. One, two, and exhale. 4, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Yes. Get it all out. Okay. And as you continue your regular breaths, tell your body, I am safe from their chaos. Now I am safe from their chaos. Now the body needs to receive that message from you, not from them. We want it from them. We want to get validation and answers all the things. No ma'am. We're not going to seek it from them anymore. Alright, now step three, the identity statement. So you are not someone who got cheated on. That's not going to be your identity. You are someone who survived a professional manipulator and more. But we'll keep it just in the basics here, right? That's a very different identity, isn't it? So with that, you can have a mantra of I was never lacking. They were, we're not going to take ownership for their lacking. I was never lacking. They were. (03:23) All right. Step four, the forward focus. When your brain tries to replay the cheating or compare you to someone else, I want you to pause and say, I don't recycle pain to understand it. There's no more recycling that needs to go on here. There is no new meaning hiding in your old wounds. So we stop going backward to decode people who were not operating in real love the way we think of love and we think about connection is not the way a narcissist does. Okay? So trying to decode why or how, I mean I gave you some reasons why on Tuesday's episode, but playing it all back recycling, it is not how Queen's going to spend their life. No. We can learn it and heal from it. So the power is not an analyzing their betrayal. The power is in protecting your heart going forward. (04:48) And that's doing some healing. Yes, but it's also protecting it moving forward. And if that means boundaries, distance, silence, the gray rock method. I'll try to remember to put that episode. If you don't know what the gray rock method is, girl, you're in for a fun one. I have one or two episodes, I forget if it's one or two, I do have at least one episode on the Gray Rock Method, okay? But that's exactly where your peace lives. Next in the protection mode, in the it is time to take care of me mode. This is your queen era. Did you not get the memo queen? Better get used to be called queen. Okay? Hold your power. You've earned it, you have earned it, and you are deserving of peace and of power and you can will get it. You can just show up doing right now, just watching these podcasts or listening to these podcasts, if you want to do some really transformational mind blowing shit, you are there and you are like, I want to change my life and I'm ready. (06:17) I have an insane program. It's customized to you. It is three months that is literally priceless. And guess who you get to talk to once a week? Yours truly. Okay. I mean in that a bonus, no, I'm just kidding. So my Queens of Peace program, which guys, I have literally one spot left and this is individual work, but to maintain my schedule and I've had people that could not sign up. My schedule is so tight right now, people couldn't when I sent the link and if they didn't sign up right away when we did it, their spot did get filled. So they have to be pushed to next week. I don't like that. So I'm going to have to see what I can do to add a little space in. But so that's why I only have one spot right now. (07:18) If you are a queen, even if you don't feel like a queen right now, if you are queening, you are wanting to be queening. No. If you have been in a toxic relationship and you are coming out of it, out of it, I do require that you do not live with the narcissist. If this is your partner, your marriage partner, I do not work with people who are currently in that situation. You must be separated out of the house. Most my clients are divorced. If it's someone in your family that's a different situation and we can talk about that. (07:59) Your mother-in-law or someone you're dealing with, that's a whole different story. But most of my clients do seem to be co-parenting and the not just navigating a narcissist and how to deal with them, but healing what trauma you have gone through and the damage that has been done. We do coaching and we do somatic healing. And both of those things together, you will have insane transformation in three months. And that sounds like a lot. I'm going to tell you it goes by quick. But there are epic results. So if you're really ready and you're going to show up every week and you're going to sign up and make sure you get a spot, it's once a week. It's one hour. We do everything from coaching to somatic healing, which is healing from the body. If you don't know today, I had some amazing magical journeys. I call 'em soul locations because really we get to go on these beautiful kind of mind journeys like deep meditations, but they're so specific to you and every single time we do these clients have mind blowing results. I mean these journeys are epic. And that's why I love, I keep saying epic, I sound like such a nerd, but I, that's the only word I can use for myself, for my clients. (09:35) That's why I got certified. I did it myself and was like, this shit's epic. It was. You come out of it and you get clarity on your own. You have more self-trust, more self-confidence. It's just so beautiful. So if you are ready, if you are that woman that has been like, yeah, maybe I should do this or this is brand new, you just popped up in here, but you're ready to actually have lasting change to understand narcissists, be able to navigate them and have that inner calm, right? Like f**k the frazzle, can that be a t-shirt? I make? Fuck the frazzle. We don't need to be frazzled the rest of our lives. Okay? You deserve more here. A queen of peace. It's why it's called Queens of Peace program. Okay? So check the show notes on the ways to work with me one-on-one for this program that there will be a link. (10:38) It is the three month journey with me and you get Voxer in between. So once a day you can leave a message on my Voxer and I'll get back to you within 24 hours. It's Monday through Friday and I mean if there's an emergency you can try on the weekend and if I can, I'll get back to you. I do try to check even on the weekends so it's more support. So a lot of people earlier on in their journey do that. And then there's people that have maybe even been divorced for years, but there's just so much. They're going through a lot mentally, physically, and need a little extra support in between calls. So that's an extra fun thing in the three month journey as opposed to the monthly option. Both will be listed there. Check 'em out. You can read all about the three month one in that link. And then you can email me with any questions. My email's already always in the show notes too. And come join the free Facebook. It's a private Facebook page. (11:51) Yeah, so I know that was a lot of little babble at the end, but I'm telling you guys this work, it excites me every time I get off the phone with a client, I'm like, I'm so glad that I heard the calling from God that he needed me to do this podcast and what it's led to. It's amazing. And I want to share what I have learned, all the tools I have and take people on these awesome journeys to back to yourself. Is that what you're looking for? That's how to sum it up. I know we have these, there's peace, there's this, but it's getting back to you and yourself and at the core, your home inside yourself,

    15min

  6. 4 DE NOV.

    Why Narcissists Cheat And the 3 Lies They Tell You (So You Keep Blaming Yourself)

    Why Narcissists Cheat And the 3 Lies They Tell You (So You Keep Blaming Yourself) Today, I’m breaking down the REAL reasons narcissists cheat, how they use infidelity as a weapon, and the 3 most common lies they tell you to keep you confused, self-blaming, and emotionally destabilized. This episode will help you stop internalizing their betrayal — and start turning your power inward. Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral? My Empowered Boundaries Course will walk you step-by-step through how to protect your peace, voice, and energy (without losing your heart). 🎓 10 video modules + meditation bundle + lifetime access 💻 Enroll here → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Book a 1:1 Coaching Session GOLD PACKAGE Coaching + Somatic Healing Session: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint SILVER PACKAGE: SAVE when you purchase a month of sessions: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ PLATINUM PACKAGE: SAVE and BONUSES when you go on a DEEP transformational 3-month journey: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ FREE Ways to Connect! Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join my Private Facebook Community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade   TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): You think the pain was that other person, but the real pain was how it made you question your worth. And I want that to end today. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:12) Alright, queen, deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. I love a good halo breath. Before we dive into something a little crazy, it's a hot topic. A lot of questions come in about cheating the lying, why they do it, all sorts of questions. So today we're just going to basically address why they cheat and the three lies they tell you, which there is always manipulation and calculation going into what they do. So we'll cover that as well. So I want to start by saying this clearly directly, very queen styley, right? With the most unshakeable conviction, if a narcissist cheated on you, it had absolutely nothing to do with you not being enough or you being who you are. Okay? Their cheating is not a mirror of your worth. It's actually a mirror of their emptiness. We know narcissists are a big black hole and this is a mirror of that evidence of that. (02:29) So today we're going to break this down in a way that makes you stop blaming or questioning yourself once and for all. We don't have time for that, right? We got queen lives to live. So first of all, let's start with the real reasons that narcissists cheat, right? People cheat that aren't narcissists. That's very true, but we're talking about narcissists today, so we're going to talk about their reasons so they don't cheat because they're unhappy in the relationship and that can be a thing that other people do, but narcissists actually cheat because they are so addicted to supply. You've probably heard me say this a million times, but this is very, very important in this topic. They are addicted to supply, so really envision what that's like, right? You're not like that so you don't get it. But try to imagine a person that is addicted to basically feeding their ego and it's again this big black hole, so it's never truly filled. (03:37) You can't fill it so nobody can news, spoiler alert. So cheating gives them that ego fuel, novelty power, and they love power and even a sense of superiority and those things are what they are chasing. They're not chasing what we chase or desire the connection into intimacy. That came out weird for some reason. Intimacy partnership, they're not seeking those things. They're essentially seeking supply. So another reason, and a lot of women don't talk about this enough, is they cheat to punish you. Say that again. They cheat to punish you, especially when you start getting stronger, and I guarantee if you look back at when you maybe thought maybe they were cheating or there was evidence of cheating, or they give you a timeline, sometimes they'll tell you they have cheated to show that power to hurt you. So they may tell you when it started, whatever it is, if you actually take a close look, you can tell you were maybe getting stronger or they're shifting in their life some way, but a lot of times it's really you are getting stronger. (05:13) So this can look like when you start questioning their behavior, they don't like that when you start setting boundaries. That is what I would say. Number one, you start setting any boundary with a narcissist. Absolutely. Then they feel out of control. They got to gain their control. Again, when you're setting a boundary, you're showing that you're not just there to feed their ego, you're looking out for you for once or you're really just hit rock bottom with it. So you're making your boundaries like, okay, I really freaking mean it this time. So when you stop bending over backwards for them, when you start calling things out, in my experience, that is another top contender start calling things out and saying, you know what? I'm not okay with this. I'm not going to put up with this. So that is an injury. It's called narcissistic injury actually. (06:14) But that is an injury to their ego. And so what do they do? They do many things right? They will come harder at you, they will have more anger. They will manipulate gaslight, do all those things, but another lovely thing they do is cheating on you. It can become their revenge, their retaliation, a slap in the face that says, oh, you think you can't be controlled if you're acting almost like you're indifferent being with them anymore. So burned out by them, and this happened with so many of my clients, that's why I'm doing this episode. I have had a couple clients recently that told me stories about they had reached a point where they were indifferent and just in there trying to figure out maybe a plan to get out. It's tough. Probably 98% of my clients are co-parenting with narcissists. So you have children with these people, so you're trying to figure out how you can do this and they think, oh, you can't be controlled. Let me show you how quickly I can replace you. (07:29) Not romantic, not emotional, not deep. It truly is, like I said, a punishment, a weapon. You could even think of it that way, right? It's a weapon so they can gain their control, feed their ego while you're trying to figure out why am I here? Should I leave any of that? This can happen, right? They don't cop feelings about cheating. Like typical people, and this can be very confusing. A normal person has empathy. A normal person might cheat and maybe have those feelings for someone else, and then they get the guilt. They might feel sick about it, a narcissist. They don't have feelings like we have feelings, so they don't even really have feelings for this other person. It's just who is the closest and easiest target to become my new source? And this is where it gets kind of dark as if it's not dark enough. (08:34) They can literally watch you crying, devastated, shattered, and feel nothing. We know they don't have empathy. They may mask. Masking is kind of like pretending wearing a mask. They can mask and say certain things or try to make a sad face and pretend, but depending on the situation, they may not even do that. But your pain, it is sick and it actually is validation to them. It proves their power. It actually proves to themselves like, oh see, good. They want that reaction. They want you crying. They want you destroyed because they punished you for that very reason. And it's devastating if you don't know this stuff. I know some of you know it to a degree, but sitting here and if it really hits you and you're like, I do believe this, it is hard to digest. So give yourself some grace. Give yourself some chocolate. First and foremost, you deserve a hunk, a chunk of chocolate right now. This is really tough stuff to digest, to think this person that you were or are in love with, shared life with, have kids with whatever to sit there and think they're this calculated, this dark, this unfeeling. (10:11) And it tore me up when I realized all that a narcissist was and oh my goodness, it's devastating. So give yourself space after this, if this is hitting you kind of for the first time at the depths of what it really means. This is not easy to digest, and I'm here too. You can always email me if you need someone to talk about. If you don't have somebody to talk about this stuff with, if you don't have emotional support, please reach out to me. Okay? My email is always in the show notes. It's tough. So we want you to know I'm also, I have a Facebook page. Go in there. There's other women just like you in there. So that link is also in the show notes. So they're proven their power. So what about the other woman? And I want to include this for any women listening who had them manipulated into being the other one because this could happen too. (11:10) Okay? I was once the

    28min

  7. 30 DE OUT.

    The Boundary Reframe Every Empath Needs

    Thrive in 5: The Boundary Reframe Every Empath Needs Episode Summary: If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries or worried that saying “no” makes you cold, this quick episode is your reminder that boundaries are not walls — they’re filters. In just five minutes, Christy shares a powerful reframe for empaths who give, love, and feel deeply… sometimes at their own expense. You’ll walk away with a grounding practice and a mindset shift to help you protect your peace without losing your warmth. In This Episode: • Why saying “no” isn’t rejection — it’s redirection • How to stop confusing peacekeeping with people-pleasing • A 3-breath somatic practice to anchor self-respect in your body • The truth about what healthy boundaries really mean for empaths 💖 Your Next Step in Healing Book a 1:1 Coaching Session → GOLD PACKAGE: Coaching and Somatic Healing Session  👉 shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint SILVER PACKAGE: SAVE when you purchase a month of sessions 👉 shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly PLATINUM PACKAGE: TRANSFORM and get BONUSES when you go on a deep 3-month journey 👉 shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly 💌 More Ways to Connect Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community → facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, beautiful souls. Today's Thrive in five is for my tender hearted empaths who have been told they're too nice, too sensitive, or that setting a boundary means you're being called or a biatch, right? Let's reframe that in five minutes flat because it's thriving. Five baby. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen. This one's for you. All right, so here's the truth. Boundaries aren't walls. They are filters. Can we start picturing that queen screen? Ooh, did you like that? I didn't even plan that y'all. That's some true organic criming. Okay, so boundaries don't block love. That's not the point of them. They do. They block drain, right? They don't want to encourage what happens when you are around people who drain you. So if you've ever said yes to keeping the peace only to feel resentful or exhausted later, that's your little baby spirit whispering to you. (01:26) This isn't peace, this is people pleasing, dressed up as kindness. So when you're an empath, which I am, and we don't want to lose that empathy, we don't want to go the other end, but when you are an empath, your instinct is to nurture, to fix. But the twist is real. True. Nurturing needs to include you too. Yes. Right? You cannot pour. This is one of my favorite quotes, by the way, is you cannot pour from an empty cup, right? So you can't pour love from an empty cup and call it compassion. It's just not going to work. It's not going to work for anybody. So here is your reframe for the week. Every time you say no, imagine it instead as a yes to your peace, your purpose, your healing, whatever it's saying yes to for you. So boundaries are not rejection, they are redirection. (02:34) That sounds like something I could say to a class of fifth graders. Boundaries aren't rejection, they're redirection. Everybody now, but your time, your energy and your heart, it's redirecting that toward what truly matters while protecting yourself and your peace. Okay? So what's a little somatic anchor? We can, you can ground the truth in your body through this little exercise. Yay. It's exercise time. All right. Take one hand to your heart and one to your belly. Now, breathe in through that nose. My favorite halo breath, inhale. As you inhale, my peace matters. Exhale and think it's safe to protect my energy in my peace matters out. It's safe to protect my energy, especially before saying yes to something that doesn't feel aligned. Check in with yourself first and remind yourself with this little tiny exercise one more time, and you can write this down on a little sticky note. (03:48) Put it on your mirror, put on your car. Inhale, my peace matters. Exhale it safe to protect my energy. Okay? You're not being cold, you are being clear. That's okay. You're not being a jerk because you're being firm even, okay? Even if you have to get firm, you're not being a jerk. You're being clear. You're being truthful, you're being honest. That doesn't equal cold, that doesn't equal mean. And if you didn't watch or listen to Tuesday's episode, go check that out. We dive deeply into this stuff and you're getting clear, right? The clearer, the more you practice this, basically, the clearer you're going to get on what you want, what you desire, what you need, and that's not selfish. That's about damn time. Okay? Can we quote that? So if this hit home, go back and listen to Tuesday's full episode. If you didn't, it's called Why Empath Struggle with Boundaries and How to fix it Without Becoming Colder Mean, right? (05:00) For that deeper healing. And of course, I will tell you my schedule is getting very, very, very smaller. Smaller. It's a great thing. It's wonderful that I'm getting to reach more people, but if you want to do the deeper transformation, you need to jump in because my schedule's very, very tight. So you go ahead, find the links in my show notes. I have two offers right now. I have the monthly offer, and that does have two payment options, and then there's the three month I am. This is like you are ready to dive in and see a whole new world. Three months of this face right here, this voice, right? Three months of transformation. We're talking coaching, and we're talking somatic healing. And in between, you get the bonus of Voxer all access to Christie all the time. No, not all the time. I have boundaries too, but once a day, you can leave me a message and I'll get back to you within the 24 hours. (06:08) Usually it is that day. If just something comes up, you need to vent, you need advice, whatever it is that is in between our weekly calls, the monthly is weekly calls, and you do have to stay up on your weekly calls. This isn't like, Hey, we're going to have one session here, and then three months later we're going to have a session. If you want to work with me. I am very serious about layering on, it's like stacking right? You do it week after week. If you miss a week here and there, that's fine, right? I'm not like crazy rigid, but we do want to keep consistent because that is where the deep work happens. And I want transformation, and you want transformation. So if you're going to invest in yourself, show the fog up for yourself, okay? All right. So I love you guys, and I will see you in the next episode.

    7min

  8. 28 DE OUT.

    Why Empaths Struggle With Boundaries (And How to Fix It Without Becoming ‘Cold’ or ‘Mean’)

    Why Empaths Struggle With Boundaries (And How to Fix It Without Becoming ‘Cold’ or ‘Mean’) If you’ve ever tried to set a boundary and instantly felt guilty — this episode is your wake-up call. Christy breaks down why empaths struggle to say no, how childhood conditioning wires you to overgive, and the exact mindset shifts that help you protect your peace without losing your warmth. You’ll learn why your nervous system panics when you speak up, how to rewire that fear, and how to find that sweet spot between kindness and self-abandonment. Because boundaries don’t make you cold — they make your love sustainable. 💖 ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why empaths confuse love with self-sacrifice The “nice girl” myth that keeps women stuck in burnout How to tell if you’re saying yes out of love or fear The nervous-system reason boundaries feel “wrong” How to set limits without guilt, shame, or freezing up 👑 Your Next Step in Healing ✨ Ready to set boundaries that actually stick — without the guilt spiral? My Empowered Boundaries Course will walk you step-by-step through how to protect your peace, voice, and energy (without losing your heart). 🎓 10 video modules + meditation bundle + lifetime access 💻 Enroll here → shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries Book a 1:1 Coaching Session → GOLD PACKAGE Coaching and Somatic Healing Session :shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint SILVER PACKAGE: SAVE when you purchase a month of sessions: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ PLATINUM PACKAGE: SAVE and BONUSES when you go on a DEEP transformational 3 month journey! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💌 More Ways to Connect Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → Christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Join the Free Facebook Community → facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello Queens. Have you ever tried to set a boundary and immediately felt like you were the villain? Let's talk about why that happens and how to protect your peace without losing that beautiful, gorgeous heart of yours. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. (00:58) So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so you've probably been called maybe too sensitive, too nice or too much at some point. I've been called all of those at one point or another in my life. And as an empath, you've learned to read the room, anticipate people's needs, and we love to fix. So maybe fix all the vibes even when it costs you your own piece, right? So here's the truth though. You don't necessarily have a boundaries problem that might be more of a symptom of a different problem, which not everyone talks about, but I'm here to talk about the things we don't talk about. You have a fear of being misunderstood, problem. (02:04) You have a fear of being misunderstood. So deep down, you may not actually be afraid of saying no. You more are afraid of being seen and perceived as someone who does not care or who is not empathetic because you in fact, do care and you don't want to be seen as something you are not. So you're afraid, not of the boundary itself, but what the reaction to the boundary will be. So this episode is your permission slip to finally say, I can be kind and still protect my peace. So let's get into it. Why empaths struggle? So first of all, you were conditioned to prioritize connection over comfort. And that could be from your childhood. You could have earlier family dynamics where you were rewarded for self-sacrifice. So like, oh, you're such a good girl when you help, right? And yes, we want to instill that in our kids, but it could go to an unhealthy level where it's always based around you pushing outside of yourself to do something for others. (03:30) Or you could also have been punished for any self-assertion or calling things out that didn't seem right. Even if you did it in a nice kind way, or when you saw something wasn't fair and you vocalized it, you could have been punished for that, right? So your nervous system equates someone else's comfort with safety due to that. So setting boundaries can feel dangerous in your body associated with if you do set a boundary, if you do call the thing out or want to have a conversation about something and it didn't go well as a child, or maybe it won your first relationships, romantic or friendship, anything, wherever this came from, it feels like danger. When you go to that place of, oh, maybe I will address this. It's like, oh, no, nevermind. Right? That started somewhere. So your nervous system doesn't know you're setting a boundary. (04:33) It really thinks you're about to lose love, because that at some point is probably what it felt like. And again, that could be any part of life, any person where that did start somewhere. And then we've got the nice girl myth. So society glamorizes being endlessly accommodating, especially for women. Can I get a what? Thank you. So you were taught that nice means agreeable, not authentic. When you think of authentic or unapologetic, it has this kind of negative connotation in our society, except in the women empowerment circles like here, but in general, nice is agreeable, and that does not necessarily go hand in hand. And narcissists love this because they sense who will bend for them before they even ask, right before they even really have to figure it out. So you've been praised for being easygoing or accommodating when you are actually probably just emotionally exhausted. (05:54) Okay? So what is the fix here without becoming the cold one that you don't want to have. By the way, since I've built boundaries, I definitely have been called cold, but I also, I got to a point where I first did boundaries in kind of a softer, more loving way, which you can. And then the more I got confidence and trust in myself and realized how jacked up so many people had treated me and what I accepted and realized like, wait, that's not cool. And turned around. I did get a little more hard and people called me cold. But also, some might call you cold, even if you are coming at a boundary with love because they're not used to it and they don't want it to happen. So especially a narcissist will make it a negative thing that you're standing up or even trying to have a conversation about anything because it's not going their way when you're actually standing up for yourself or even just wanting a normal, rational discussion. So they're going to flip it, gaslight you, call you cold, all that stuff. You're not cold, you warm and hot baby. No, but you are just standing up for yourself. So what is the fix without becoming this cold person? We don't want to be so boundaries. Remember this, and I've said it before, I'll say it again. They're not walls, okay? They're doors with locks. And you get to choose who comes in and when. Okay? So remember that. (07:41) Two, you don't need to swing from one extreme to the other, from super people pleaser to ice queen. There is a middle ground. And as long as your intention is good and about protecting you, it's not trying to control someone else. That's a big difference. You're not trying to control anybody or be mean to anybody. You're trying to control what's happening to you, and you are wanting to have peace in your life, and that is not cold. That is not mean. You're not mean for wanting peace and to protect yourself, okay? I want you to maybe write that down. I am not mean or cold for wanting peace and protection, okay? There's a middle ground there. So you don't have to be a huge, I mean, I've done it a couple times and I'm not even mad at that. It was certain situations I feel like it was, I was pushed, and I'm not saying I did anything crazy, but I might've had an attitude. (08:47) Maybe there was a little curse word. I know. All right, so here's some shifts you can do. There's three we can start with. There's a bunch of different things in the somatic healing. I do totally helps with all of this stuff. So if you want to sign up for sessions with me, always look in the show notes and you can find out how to sign up for sessions. So the three shifts, number one, pause before you answer, and you have to regulate in some way. And I've talked about some of these ways already many times in my podcast, especially the Thrive in Fives on Thursdays, those shorter episodes, and there's a lot of regulation, somatic healing, all of that good stuff, little bits, fast things you can do to regulate before you respond. Two, check your motive. Are you saying yes to something out of love or fear? I'm going to guarantee 98% of the time it's probably out of fear, especially if you're dealing with a narky. (09:53) So if it's out of fear, heck no, queen, you're a queen. You don't do stuff out of fear. No way you can say no. You can say it with love. You can protect yourself without being cold or an a-hole. You can say, I'm trying to think of a quick example here. And by the way, I have scripts that I will put in the show notes too that are awesome for dealing with narcissists. I'm tryi

    17min
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Healing Tools for Women Are you feeling lost after breaking free from a toxic relationship? Are you afraid you will get sucked back in, whether it is with the same narcissist or a new one? Are you ready to finally live in peace? In this podcast, you will find healing methods and coping solutions to set you free from narcissistic abuse and its effects. My mission is to equip you to become strong and free through confidence building, proven healing methods and finding peace. If you’re ready to say yes to thriving after abuse and stop chasing everything that hasn’t worked for a plan that will- you’re in the right place! Hey, I’m Christy. A mom, wife and a ruthless narcissist avoider! For years of my life, I went to therapists that didn’t understand narcissism, read generic abuse recovery books and tried things that didn’t help me truly disconnect and break the cycle of narcissistic abuse. I wasted money on tools that didn’t give me lasting results. I finally realized that if I was going to truly disconnect and heal, I had to understand narcissists’ minds and the effects on their victims. After years of education and endless conversations with victims of narcissistic abuse, I created a perfect plan to not just disconnect fully from the current narcissists in my life, but to avoid getting sucked in by future ones, while creating healthy boundaries and healing from the effects of abuse. A life of thriving, not just surviving. And I am ready to share it all with you! If you are a woman ready to finally find a clear cut plan to stop the cycle and heal from narcissistic abuse -effective solutions that have results that are undeniable: like a peaceful night’s sleep, decreased overwhelm, and unshakable confidence, then this podcast is for you! Grab that mocha latte, it’s time to dive in. Wanna work together 1:1, queen? Grab your first power call for mindset and somatic healing now: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ FREE Pocket Guide to Boundaries: https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Have trouble setting or keeping boundaries and want to go deeper? This go at your own pace course is just for you! Grab your (Guilt free!) Empowered Boundaries Course here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Let’s hang out! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/ChristyJade TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercechristyjade Email me! fiercemamac@gmail.com

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