The Unlock Lab

Tosca DiMatteo
  • 5.0 (7)
  • CAREERS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

You hold the key to unlocking what is stuck in your career, and your business. The unseen will come to light so you can discover how you might be getting in your own way of success and transformation. Expect truth bombs, vulnerability and the messy middle of life’s stories. Expect taboo topics and practical tips to shift your life in the direction of your dreams. I also hope you laugh hard and find levity in the process of seeing, believing, and owning your truth. In this ‘lab’ you are encouraged to experiment with what works and then come back for more! See you in the LAB my friends!

  1. 3D AGO

    Ep 93: Why the Strongest Leaders Are Built in the Repair (Not the Perfection)

    Let me just say it: you are not going to get it right every time as a leader. Not even close. And honestly? That's not the problem. The problem is what happens when you don't repair it. In this episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk about where the real strength in leadership actually lives, and spoiler alert, it's not in being perfect. It's in the repair and the correction. The willingness to say, "Yeah, I messed that up," and then actually do something about it. In this episode I share a personal story from 24 years of living with Type 1 diabetes that changed how I think about mistakes, and why I had to learn to expect the overcorrection before I could take my power back. It's messy. It's not binary. And there is absolutely no such thing as perfect. In this episode we cover: → Why fear of messing up keeps leaders stuck in avoidance (and how to get out of it) → The childhood messages that shaped your belief system around mistakes → Why brushing off your mistakes is a cop-out, and what courage looks like → How repair and correction can leapfrog the strength of your relationships at work → Where to start if you have no idea how to make it right This is the work. And I'm here for all of it with you. 🔔 If this episode hit home, subscribe and leave a review, it means the world and helps other leaders find their way here too. 📩 Have questions or want to keep the conversation going? Reach out, all my info is in the notes below. Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com #TheUnlockLab #LeadershipDevelopment #LeadershipCoaching #EmotionalIntelligence #MistakesInLeadership #LeadershipGrowth #CourageousLeadership #RepairAndCorrection #ToscaDiMatteo #GrowthMindset

    16 min

  2. MAR 31

    Ep 92: Generosity in Leadership: A Guide to Building Trust

    In this episode, I explore the gems of generosity in leadership. Moving away from transactional leadership and the "what's in it for me" model, I offer generosity as a core pillar for authentic leadership. I break down the many forms generosity can take, from giving your time, to initiating difficult conversations. I also address the common resistance we face, such as the fear of getting burned or the overemphasis on efficiency, and explain why playing the long game in leadership will put more wins on your board. Key Takeaways Generosity is about giving without the expectation of receiving anything in return. Generosity comes in many forms: time, assumptions, acknowledgments, care, forgiveness, difficult conversations, sharing yourself, trust, network introductions, and providing opportunities. Giving trust first helps us stay out of micromanaging our teams. Overcoming resistance to generosity requires us to decondition from a strict focus on productivity and efficiency. Even if the results are not immediate, the intention behind your generosity matters and is deeply felt by others. Resources Mentioned Visit my website at coachtosca.com to learn more about my work and read my blog. Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    26 min

  3. MAR 24

    Ep 91: Navigating Generational Expectations: From Traffic Engineer to CEO with Mitch Patel

    Feeling stuck in a career that looks successful on paper but leaves you drained is a heavy burden to carry. It’s a nagging sensation that you are meant for more, but your inner narrative, or even external influences might be convincing you to stay the course. Looking at the drivers of our choices and decisions allows us to understand if we are living the life we want, or the life we think we’re supposed to live. When we can accept the truth of our desires and make new decisions towards them, we create the space for genuine fulfillment and purpose.In my conversation with Mitch Patel, CEO of Vision Hospitality Group, you will not only hear his stories about how he broke free from expectations, you will hear about his passion for building a life and business rooted in purpose, unshakeable culture, and being a good human being. Episode Highlights: Untangling the belief that you have to know how to do everything before you start something new. Noticing the fear of the unknown when shifting your career path. The result of prioritizing values to lead with a character-driven, people-first approach in a competitive industry. Quotables: [01:25:11:05] "Working hard in something you don't love is stress. And working hard in something you love is passion." [01:51:12:19] "Culture will define a company's destiny. But character will define yours." [02:24:54:18] "Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor." About Mitch Patel Founder and Chief Executive OfficerChanneling a passion for the hospitality industry, Mitch Patel established Vision Hospitality Group in 1997 on a foundation of values that guide the organization to this day. With an unwavering commitment to excellence, Mitch oversees every aspect of the company, from investment procurement to the seamless execution of daily operations. Additionally, he oversees strategic development and implementation that has propelled Vision Hospitality Group to garner numerous awards within the industry. Mitch holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Tennessee. His background in engineering informs his approach to development, capital planning, and long-term asset strategy. In addition to his responsibilities at Vision, Mitch served as Chair of the Board of the American Hotel & Lodging Association in 2025. In that role, he supported national advocacy efforts on behalf of the lodging industry, including workforce development and public policy initiatives. Vision Hospitality Group: https://www.vhghotels.com/ Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    1h 25m

  4. MAR 17

    Ep 90: Closing the People Skill Gap: Daily Habits for Effective Leaders

    Are you an experienced leader who feels like you’re constantly pushing boulders up hills when managing your team? Organizations often prioritize execution and technical expertise over everything else. This leaves many leaders with a significant people skill gap, especially those who have risen in the ranks due to their technical and analytical expertise. If you’ve been told you need to work on your relationships in your job, there’s no shame in that. We all have areas of opportunity.In this episode, we address why human skills are the absolute precursor to developing strong people skills. We explore why Gallup attributes 70% of team engagement directly to the manager, rather than company strategy or compensation. You’ll learn how to tame your inner critic, heal the root wounds causing friction, and make time for people skills on your daily agenda. Episode Highlights: Why 70% of team engagement is attributable to the manager.The critical difference between people skills and the human skills required to build them.A real-world example of a leader who overcame her inner critic to stop freezing in front of her CEO.Six essential questions to ask yourself at the beginning and end of every workday to prioritize your relationship development. Quotables: "The single greatest variable in whether a team performs, stays, and thrives is the quality of human leadership their experience daily.""Human skills are the ability to deeply understand yourself, your thought and behavior patterns, and this is what helps you become better at people skills.""That's how we get better at leading is by making sure we're in the equation first. "Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

    20 min

  5. MAR 10

    Ep 89: The Antidote to Leadership Isolation with Debra Driscoll

    Intentional community is the conscious gathering of people for a specific purpose where every individual is seen, heard, and accounted for. For years, I lived with the belief that I just had to do life by myself, which was the biggest lie my inner critic ever told me. When you move out of isolation and into a space of mutual support, you strip your inner critic of its power and begin to lead from a place of grounded truth. In this episode, I sit down with Debra Driscoll , founder of The BeHer Collective (her previous company was Big Life Magic), to explore how intentional community serves as the ultimate antidote to leadership burnout. Tune in to learn why you might be suffering in silence despite your external success, so that you can stop performing for others and start being supported by a community. This conversation with Debra Driscoll provides the practical framework to move from isolation into authentic connection. Episode Highlights: Untangling the false belief that strong leadership requires you to do everything by yourself. Noticing how the inner critic uses isolation to convince you that your struggles are personal failings. The result of entering a space where the core agreement is to witness each other without trying to fix or heal. Quotables: "The inner critic is a master of isolation. It wants you alone so it can convince you that your struggle is a personal failure rather than a shared human experience." "We have this agreement where we don't try to fix or heal anybody; we simply provide the container where you can finally stop performing and start being." "I lived with the belief for so long that I just had to do life by myself, but that was actually the biggest lie my critic ever told me." Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Guest Links: Explore Debra Driscoll’s Work: https://thebehercollective.com/ Substack: https://thebehercollective.substack.com/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    1h 11m

  6. MAR 1

    Ep 88: Overcoming Reluctant Leadership: Claim Your Human Skills

    Reluctant leadership is the resistance to expanding your influence, because stepping out of a functional expert role can feel intimidating. I have worked with incredibly successful leaders who hold themselves back by listening to the self-doubt in their heads instead of acting on their capability to guide others. Accepting the leader within allows you to multiply your impact and get the results you are hoping for, and it doesn’t have to come with a sentence of sacrificing your peace or well-being. Tune in to learn why you might be clinging to your technical expertise and avoiding the responsibility of leading so you can step into an expanded role with confidence, and healthy boundaries.  Stepping up doesn’t mean giving up your freedom; you can be successful and have a lifestyle that lights you up. Episode Highlights: Untangling the belief that you are not a "people person" by recognizing the relationship building that has already contributed to your success. Noticing the fear of losing control that leads to hyper-vigilance or micromanaging. The result of changing your approach to leadership: you get to play your own game and create an equitable situation, without resentment. Quotables: [01:04:10:01] "It's understandable that you may feel like leading people can be the wild wild West, when you have come to prefer having control of your outcomes and not being responsible for anyone else." [01:08:41:12] "It's not solely your expertise that there is absolutely a piece of relationship building and interacting with others that has contributed to your success." [01:13:49:04] "So just because you have not seen leaders holding boundaries or you have not seen leaders be able to delegate as much as they need to, doesn't mean that the way you lead has to look like that at all." Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    27 min

  7. FEB 23

    Ep 87: The Root Cause of Burnout: Why Resentment is Your Guide with Cait Donovan

    Burnout is more than just being tired; it is a profound state of physical and emotional exhaustion built on ignored boundaries. That is exactly why I brought burnout expert Cait Donovan onto the podcast. Healing this condition requires addressing the deep internal wounds rather than just applying surface-level fixes to the symptoms. Listen to learn how high achievers miss the early warning signs of burnout so that you can identify your true needs and begin a real healing process. It is time to step out of the exhaustion cycle and reclaim your energy. You can be a highly impactful leader and experience profound peace. Episode Highlights: Understanding interoception: Cait explains how childhood experiences and hypervigilance prevent us from recognizing our own body's basic signals. Noticing the habit of ignoring resentment: We explore how to recognize resentment as a blaring alarm bell indicating where you are self-abandoning to please someone else. The danger of DIY recovery: Why burnout recovery is not a solo project and why you desperately need a mirror to see your blind spots. Prevention vs. Recovery: Why traditional stress management and gratitude practices will actually irritate you if you are already in a state of burnout. Quotables: "Let resentment guide you. It will tell you every single time where you are self-abandoning to please someone else." [Cait Donovan] "If you are burnt out and someone tells you to do a gratitude practice, you have my full permission to punch them in the throat." [Cait Donovan] "Burnout recovery and burnout prevention are not the same strategies." [Cait Donovan] Learn More About Cait Donovan: Website: https://www.caitdonovan.com/ Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    47 min

  8. FEB 17

    Ep 86: Stop Obsessing Over the "How": The Path to Clarity

    We live in a world that worships execution. We are obsessed with the "How” the strategy, the tactics, the ten-step plans. But often, we are trying to build a bridge before we even know where we want it to land. This is the trap of prioritizing the doing over the being. I see this pattern constantly with my clients, and I have lived it myself. We want the lightning bolt of clarity to hit us so we can sprint into action. But more often than not, clarity doesn't scream; it whispers. When we force the "How" without anchoring in the "What," we waste time, energy, and spirit. Tune in to learn how to disrupt your need for immediate answers and silence the noise of the outside world. I’m sharing a two-step approach to finding clarity that might just save you from climbing the wrong mountain. Episode Highlights: The "Jackie" Story: How a client went from desperate for a new job to finding deep contentment right where she was. The Lightning Bolt Myth: Why waiting for a massive sign is actually a form of procrastination. Silence the Noise: The critical importance of a "content diet"—shutting down social media and well-meaning opinions to hear your own voice. The "Simmer" Technique: How I am currently letting a big idea (hosting a retreat) cook on low heat instead of forcing the logistics. Quotables: [01:03:55] "You're putting the cart before the horse right. And you are often going to waste a lot of time and energy because you don't have the anchor in your what." [01:14:57] "It doesn't happen on your timeline. It's not your timeline; you're not in control. It's going to happen when it's meant to happen." [01:15:26] "Most of the time it's very whispers coming from your internal guidance. That's why I say you have to be still." Tosca’s Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/ Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

    18 min
See All (94)

Trailer

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

You hold the key to unlocking what is stuck in your career, and your business. The unseen will come to light so you can discover how you might be getting in your own way of success and transformation. Expect truth bombs, vulnerability and the messy middle of life’s stories. Expect taboo topics and practical tips to shift your life in the direction of your dreams. I also hope you laugh hard and find levity in the process of seeing, believing, and owning your truth. In this ‘lab’ you are encouraged to experiment with what works and then come back for more! See you in the LAB my friends!

Information

  • Creator
    Tosca DiMatteo
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    94
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Tosca DiMatteo
  • Show Website
    The Unlock Lab