Ep 62: A Narrow Heart Is a Fragile Heart | How to Stop Feeling So Alone

In this episode, Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade) — a former London investment banker who left after a near-death experience in Jakarta to ordain in Bhutan — explores what it means to widen the heart and become truly unbreakable. She contrasts fleeting, manufactured happiness with the effortless joy that arises from practice and explains how small acts of kindness build resilience. Perfect for listeners curious about practical spirituality and living with purpose.

Key Takeaways:

🧭 Choose Liberation, Not Comfort — Why training the mind matters, and how practice aims for freedom from samsara rather than temporary ease.

💫 Real Joy vs. Manufactured Bliss — The difference between practice-born joy (stable, effortless) and short-lived worldly pleasures.

🤝 Small Acts, Big Heart — Two-minute kindnesses, widening your circle of care, and the role of faith/teacher in sustaining practice.

#OpeningYourHeart #BuddhistWisdom #MindfulLiving #FaithAndPractice

About the Speaker:

👤 Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade) was born in Kent, educated at Cambridge University and the University of London where she gained a First Class degree. She is a qualified Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and worked in Fund Management in London, New York, and Hong Kong.

A deep seated desire to enquire into the deeper aspects of humanity arise following a life- changing business trip to Jakarta, where she was held hostage at gunpoint. She resigned from her financial career and began exploring yoga and meditation and methods of wellbeing with the ultimate aim of turning a traumatic episode into wisdom and conditions for thriving. ​

Her interest in Buddhism as a science of the mind strengthened after meeting a Buddhist Lama (teacher) on her first visit to Bhutan in 2011. This crucial chance meeting led to her studying Buddhism and becoming the first and only Western woman to be ordained in the Himalayan Kingdom of Bhutan as a Buddhist nun.

📄 Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-ep-62

⏱Timestamps:

(00:00) – Introduction to Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade), former banker turned Buddhist nun

(01:00) – The challenge of practicing Dharma in a busy modern life

(02:31) – Are we seeking comfort in samsara or liberation?

(02:51) – What happiness really means from a Buddhist perspective

(03:40) – Joy and bliss: natural results of Dharma practice vs. worldly joy

(05:28) – Reflections on Bhutan and why happiness can’t be measured easily

(06:20) – Mental resilience and faith in Bhutanese life

(07:17) – Small daily acts of kindness in a busy life

(07:53) – Expanding motivation beyond yourself and loved ones

(08:52) – Why bother about anyone else besides your loved ones?

(09:20) – Why widening your heart supports resilience

(10:24) – The Bodhisattva path: stretching beyond your comfort zone

(11:14) – How Lopen Ani Pema Deki became a Buddhist and later a nun

(11:40) – Meeting her teacher in Bhutan

(12:24) – Moments of clarity and deep spiritual connection

(14:27) – Karma and how Lopen Ani Pema Deki ’s path ripened in Bhutan

Resources:

Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade) website - https://www.emmaslade.com/

Lopen Ani Pema Deki (Ven Emma Slade) charity fundraiser - https://www.openingyourhearttobhutan.com/

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang, Wang Shiow Mei, Ong Chye Chye, Melvin, Yoke Kuen, Nai Kai Lee, Amelia Toh, Hannah Law, Shin Hui Chong, Dennis Lee

🙏 Sponsor us: https://handfulofleaves.life/support/

🎬 Editor: Hong Jiayi

✍️ Transcribers: Cheryl Cheah, Tan Si Jing, Bernice Bay

🎨 Visuals & Sound: Anton Thorne, Tan Pei Shan, Ang You Shan

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