Coffee With Dr. Kashey Dr. Trevor Kashey

In this episode, Dr. Kashey shares a vulnerable post from Huggy, who opens up about his struggles with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. Even with mono taking a physical toll, Huggy explains how using the frustration framework - tracking data, crafting actionable tied-to variables under his control, and leaning on wisdom tools like "STFU" - has helped diminish depressive episodes and dark urges. With honesty and humor, Dr. Kashey talks about Huggy's struggle with depression, arguing that thinking clearly and knowing yourself can help when life is hard. From Huggy's experience, Dr. Kashey tells us: Think logically, find humor even when it's tough, and keep trying to live a life you feel proud of. This uplifting talk honestly covers mental health and resilience and reminds us to think rationally, stay hopeful, and stay connected with others.

In this episode Dr. Kashey discusses the two main types of frustration aversion: outright avoidance/aversion (like George Costanza's unemployment scheme on Seinfeld) and delay/procrastination. He then breaks down outright aversion into two further categories: "out of sight, out of mind" and "out of mind, out of sight." Using examples like chronic dieting struggles, Dr. Kashey explains how these distorted belief systems falsely assume that ignoring or avoiding problems will resolve them. However, this only perpetuates the frustration when reality conflicts with unrealistic expectations. He emphasizes the need to rectify these irrational beliefs rather than rely on restriction or avoidance. He discusses how blame and permission for lack of responsibility emerge from the frustration paradox when people abdicate resolving their issues to external factors.

In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores the concept of the frustration paradox, a comedic exploration of why avoiding life's frustrations often leads to intensifying them. With a blend of philosophical inquiry and practical examples, Dr. Kashey navigates the complexities of human desires across operational, emotional, achievement, and fairness domains, highlighting how frustrations naturally arise when desires meet obstacles. Through humor and relatable narratives, he explains the futility of attempting to sidestep frustrations entirely, drawing parallels from popular culture, including the iconic sitcom Seinfeld. Dr. Kashey provides insightful observations on the human condition, revealing how the pursuit of frustration-free living paradoxically creates its obstacles.

In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores frustration and how it impacts our actions offering a unique perspective on the interplay between stimuli, responses, and emotional outbursts.. With his signature wit, he looks at how people blame outside forces when frustration boils over, reflecting deeply rooted human habits. Through funny stories and smart observations, he emphasizes the importance of maintaining composure and rationality amidst frustrating circumstances, emphasizing the need to confront impulsive urges with mindfulness and self-awareness. This means facing strong impulses thoughtfully and self-awarely. Dr. Kashey weaves together the absurdity of human reactions with practical wisdom on managing frustration.

In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores how to apply the STFU approach not just to discrete frustrations but to address major chronic frustrations like overfatness. Minor frustrations will arise along the way, triggering urges to act impulsively and abandon constructive plans. However, Dr. Kashey explains why "going with your gut" feelings and urges perpetuate chronic frustration. Instead, persevering requires building frustration tolerance to act deliberately, even when it conflicts with impulses. He outlines how responses arise from thoughts and beliefs about frustrating stimuli. Adjusting these, rather than the stimuli themselves, allows more control. Drawing from personal and professional experiences, he highlights the pitfalls of acting impulsively and underscores the significance of frustration tolerance in overcoming chronic frustrations.

In this extensive and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Kashey dives deeper into chronic frustrations - ongoing obstacles that spill across major life domains.  He begins by reiterating the fundamental concepts of frustration, distinguishing between discrete and chronic frustrations, and highlighting their impact on the four domains of operational, emotional, achievement, and fairness. Using the common example of long term overfatness, he outlines how constant physical and emotional disruption propagates failures in achievement and perceived unfairness. Dr. Kashey explains how exacerbating factors like rigid "all-or-nothing" thinking and unrealistic expectations put people in a "cognitive grinder" of self-perpetuating failure. He colorfully depicts the mindset driving this unhealthy cycle, where distorted beliefs strengthen in the face of violating reality. For severe chronic frustration, quick fixes fall short; the very approach to life requires adjustment. With a compassionate understanding of these struggles, Dr. Kashey equips listeners to recognize and address the deeper roots of major life obstacles.