Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different

Samantha Foote & Lauren Ross | Parenting Neurodiverse Kids
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Welcome to Every Brain is Different, the podcast designed for parents raising kids with Autism, ADHD, and other neurodiverse conditions. Discover practical parenting strategies, expert insights, and real-life stories that highlight the strengths and challenges of neurodivergent individuals. Join us to connect with a supportive community of parents, gain tools to help your child thrive, and celebrate the unique ways every brain works. If you're looking for inspiration, effective parenting strategies, or simply a sense of connection, tune into Every Brain is Different and join a community that truly understands. Website: www.everybrainisdifferent.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent TikTok: www.tiktok.com/everybrainsidifferent YouTube: www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

  1. Why Your Child Holds It Together at School, Then Explodes at Home (And How Masking Plays a Role) | Ep. 166

    6D AGO

    Why Your Child Holds It Together at School, Then Explodes at Home (And How Masking Plays a Role) | Ep. 166

    Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/podcast Samantha and Lauren discuss how neurodivergent children may mask at school or other settings: suppressing stims, sensory distress, and authentic behavior to appear “typical” and then have meltdowns at home because home feels safest, a pattern also described as after-school restraint collapse. They emphasize that these explosions are nervous system and stress responses, not manipulation, and that chronic masking drains executive functioning and can leave kids in fight-or-flight. The episode outlines signs a child may be struggling at school (shutdowns, irritability, control-seeking, sibling conflict, isolation, increased PDA behaviors, avoiding help, and even not using the bathroom) and suggests ways to reduce nervous system load and improve safety at school through sensory-friendly routines, supportive accommodations, authenticity at home, and self-advocacy skills, while avoiding forced eye contact, dismissing concerns, over-scheduling, and rewarding extreme compliance.   00:00 Masking Recap 01:02 Why Home Meltdowns Happen 02:15 What Masking Looks Like 03:43 Executive Function Burnout 06:26 After School Restraint Collapse 06:59 Signs of Distress at School 09:20 Signs Your Child Masks 11:31 Reduce Load Before School 13:40 School Supports That Help 15:39 Stop Rewarding Compliance 16:47 Build Authenticity at Home 17:17 Teach Self Advocacy 17:41 What Not To Do 19:35 Connection Over Correction   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    19 min
  2. Why Your Child ‘Falls Apart’ at Home (But Not at School) | Ep. 165

    MAY 11

    Why Your Child ‘Falls Apart’ at Home (But Not at School) | Ep. 165

    Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership   Samantha and Lauren open by discussing mom guilt and the importance of giving yourself grace when you miss commitments, lose your cool, or have hard parenting moments, emphasizing that apologies and tomorrow-as-a-reset matter. They then explain masking: children, especially neurodivergent kids, may hold it together at school and unravel at home because home is emotionally safe, not because parents are doing something wrong or the child is being manipulative. They describe how cognitive fatigue (executive-function demands), emotional exhaustion (managing expectations, social stress, fear of trouble, rejection sensitivity), and sensory overload (noise, lights, clothing discomfort) accumulate during the day, leaving kids with no capacity for even small demands like “How was your day?” They note masking can also differ between co-parents, and suggest school accommodations (movement, no forced eye contact, IEP/504 supports) and coping skills, with next week focused on making school feel safer.   00:00 Welcome and Mom Guilt 01:03 Grace and Repairing Moments 03:05 What Masking Looks Like 07:17 Why Home Meltdowns Happen 09:26 School Accommodations 12:15 Safe Parent and Coparenting 14:42 The Cost of Masking 20:06 Sensory Overload Stack 22:51 You Are the Safe Place 24:22 Community Support and Wrap Up   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    24 min
  3. How to Handle Finances When You Have ADHD with Julian Kohlbrand | Ep. 164

    MAY 4

    How to Handle Finances When You Have ADHD with Julian Kohlbrand | Ep. 164

    Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership   Samantha and Lauren interview Julianne Kohlbrand, an ADHD financial coach who became debt-free after $107,000 in consumer debt and a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis at 42, and now helps neurodivergent families simplify money management. Julianne shares how motherhood intensified overwhelm and led to her diagnosis, and explains that neurodivergent people often need different, less perfection-driven approaches than strict dollar-by-dollar budgets. Key strategies include giving yourself grace, automating bills, weekly calendar check-ins, reducing tempting triggers (like removing budget apps), using visuals and a “would you rather” gamified decision tool, and adding accountability partners while avoiding shame through agreed budgets and separate “fun money” line items for each spouse. They discuss impulse spending, the 24-hour cart rule, a separate email for bills, and ways to teach kids about money through open conversation, goal-setting, savings accounts, and age-based paid home tasks.   00:00 Meet Julianne Kohlbrand 01:04 Late ADHD Diagnosis Story 02:42 Money Shame and Coaching Fail 04:35 ADHD Friendly Money Systems 07:16 Gamify Spending Decisions 07:54 Accountability Without Shame 09:41 Fun Money and Boundaries 12:20 Impulse Control Tricks 15:28 Teaching Kids Money Habits 18:39 Allowance And Budgeting 19:42 Kids Savings Account Setup 20:18 Home Tasks For Pay 22:17 Earning Extra Money Struggles 23:56 Grace And Small Systems 25:16 Resources And Where To Find 27:14 Fun And Farewell 28:06 Post Show Highlights 29:44 Lego Dopamine Spending 31:13 Play Money Chore System 32:18 Final Wrap And Comments   Connect with Julian:https://debtrebelpodcast.com/https://www.instagram.com/jewlzthebudgetnerdhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/juliankohlbrand/   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    31 min
  4. Why are Neurodivergent People Literal Thinkers? | Ep. 163

    APR 27

    Why are Neurodivergent People Literal Thinkers? | Ep. 163

    Join the Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership   Samantha and Lauren discuss why many neurodivergent people may interpret language literally and communicate more directly, which neurotypical people can misread as rude. They define literal thinking as interpreting exact words rather than implied meaning, sarcasm, or social context, and share examples such as misunderstandings around figurative phrases (“break a leg”), social pleasantries (“we should hang out sometime”), sarcasm (“nice job”), vague directions (“do the dishes” vs. “clean the kitchen”), and hidden social rules (“make yourself at home”). They explain contributing factors, including a preference for clarity and precision, pragmatic language differences, cognitive load, and predictive processing theories, then outline the benefits of direct language (less confusion, faster problem-solving, clearer boundaries, less social exhaustion).   00:00 Why Literal Thinking 00:47 Rude or Direct 01:42 Defining Literal Thinking 03:30 Everyday Examples 05:08 Vague Directions 07:34 Hidden Social Rules 09:45 Why It Happens 12:53 Direct Communication Strength 17:04 Misread as Argumentative 19:36 Parenting Communication Tips 22:15 Wrap Up and Resources   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    23 min
  5. What is the difference between ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder? | Ep. 162

    APR 20

    What is the difference between ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder? | Ep. 162

    Join the Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership   Episode 18 with Dr. Tosha Strickland: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/18-dr-tosha-strickland-and-central-auditory/id1697406719?i=1000636604839   Samantha and Lauren discuss how ADHD and Central Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) can look similar, distractibility, not following directions, zoning out, school struggles, but involve different underlying challenges: ADHD affects attention regulation and executive functioning, while APD involves difficulty processing spoken information despite normal hearing. They share examples and comparisons (e.g., difficulty in noisy classrooms, frequently saying “what,” slow verbal response time, mishearing similar words, and doing better with written/visual instructions), note that ineffective ADHD medication may indicate APD, and describe how APD can be supported with classroom microphones, hearing aids that modulate timing rather than amplify sound, reduced background noise, extra processing time, and checking understanding. They encourage parents to advocate for evaluations through pediatricians and appropriate specialists, use practical supports like one-step directions and routines, and provide positive feedback since neurodivergent kids receive disproportionate negative feedback.   00:00 Welcome and Topic 00:23 Why They Get Confused 01:14 Medication Clue and CAPD 04:04 What ADHD Really Is 06:45 What Auditory Processing Is 08:29 Misdiagnosis and Mindset 10:46 Side by Side Examples 13:18 Conversation and Response Time 16:48 Getting Evaluated and Advocating 21:17 Practical Supports at Home 23:22 Grace and Positive Feedback 25:21 Wrap Up and Resources   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    26 min
  6. What is the Difference Between Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism? | Ep. 161

    APR 13

    What is the Difference Between Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism? | Ep. 161

    Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership   Samantha and Lauren discuss sensory processing disorder (SPD) versus autism spectrum disorder, explaining what SPD is, where it overlaps with autism, and why sensory challenges alone do not mean autism; they note ADHD can also include sensory differences. They define SPD as difficulty detecting, modulating, or interpreting sensory input and emphasize it is used clinically but is not in the DSM-5, which can limit insurance resources, comparing this to PDA and sharing an example of a bipolar misdiagnosis used to access care. They define autism by social communication differences and restrictive/repetitive behaviors, with sensory reactivity included in criteria, and describe sensory patterns (hyperreactivity, hyporeactivity, and sensory seeking) with everyday examples. They recommend supports such as reducing sensory load, previewing transitions, offering choices (clothing, ear protection, movement breaks), tracking triggers, pursuing occupational therapy evaluations, and prioritizing function over label.   00:00 Introduction 01:37 What SPD Means 01:49 Diagnosis Codes and Resources 03:55 SPD vs Autism Criteria 06:29 Sensory Patterns Explained 09:13 Mixed Sensory Profiles 10:48 Smell and Food Sensitivities 13:34 Overlap and Why It Matters 16:01 Practical Supports at Home 19:40 Function Over Label 21:23 Wrap Up and Resources   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    21 min
  7. What to Know About Women and ADHD with Dr. Gilly Kahn | Ep. 160

    APR 6

    What to Know About Women and ADHD with Dr. Gilly Kahn | Ep. 160

    Get the Book: https://a.co/d/0fOrLF7d Connect with Dr. Gilly Kahn: https://www.drgillykahn.com/   Samantha welcomes back psychologist, mom, and writer Dr. Gilly Khan to discuss her book Allow Me to Interrupt, which focuses on emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) in females with ADHD. Dr. Kahn explains how she approaches families seeking or newly receiving an ADHD diagnosis, including considering psychological testing, consulting a psychiatrist, and discussing family preferences around medication and stigma. She describes how emotional dysregulation is strongly tied to ADHD but not included in DSM-5-TR criteria, cites Russell Barkley’s advocacy, and outlines what is known and less researched about RSD as popularized by William Dodson. Dr. Khan also discusses balancing ADHD strengths and challenges through accommodations, highlights the role of estrogen and dopamine across the female lifespan, and notes comorbidities such as migraines and their links to hormones and dopamine.   00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 00:40 About Dr Gilly Khan and Her Book 02:18 Next Steps After Diagnosis 05:33 On the Fence About Labels 09:25 ADHD in Girls Emotional Clues 14:17 Too Much Masking and Strengths 15:24 Creativity and Accommodations 19:44 Comorbidities Hormones and Migraine 27:08 Where to Find the Book   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    26 min
  8. What is the Difference Between a 504 and an IEP? | Ep. 159

    MAR 30

    What is the Difference Between a 504 and an IEP? | Ep. 159

    Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership   Samantha and Lauren explain key differences between 504 accommodation plans and IEPs to help parents know what to request when a child struggles at school. They describe how unsupported neurodivergent kids may be mislabeled as misbehaving, defiant, lazy, or unmotivated, and emphasize that children need an environment that works with their brain, not to “try harder.” A 504 plan is generally easier to obtain, doesn’t require a diagnosis, and provides accommodations (e.g., extra test time, movement breaks, preferential seating, reduced homework, sensory supports) within general education without specialized instruction. An IEP adds individualized goals, specialized instruction, related services (speech, OT, PT, music therapy), possible pullout support, progress tracking, and stricter eligibility based on assessment and educational impact. They advise requesting evaluations in writing, asking questions in meetings, pushing back when needed, and being a persistent advocate in an under-resourced system.   00:00 Welcome and Overview 00:45 Why Advocacy Matters 03:46 When Support Is Missing 06:19 What a 504 Plan Does 06:44 504 Examples and Eligibility 10:03 IEP Basics and Services 13:03 IEP Eligibility and Impact 16:30 504 vs IEP Quick Compare 18:49 Requesting an Evaluation 20:34 Meetings and Pushing Back 21:59 System Gaps and Real Talk 24:37 After Qualification and Reviews 25:58 Common Mistakes and Next Steps 27:02 Wrap Up and Resources   Connect with Samantha Foote! Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

    27 min
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About

Welcome to Every Brain is Different, the podcast designed for parents raising kids with Autism, ADHD, and other neurodiverse conditions. Discover practical parenting strategies, expert insights, and real-life stories that highlight the strengths and challenges of neurodivergent individuals. Join us to connect with a supportive community of parents, gain tools to help your child thrive, and celebrate the unique ways every brain works. If you're looking for inspiration, effective parenting strategies, or simply a sense of connection, tune into Every Brain is Different and join a community that truly understands. Website: www.everybrainisdifferent.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent TikTok: www.tiktok.com/everybrainsidifferent YouTube: www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

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