Expansive Intimacy with Jim Young Jim Young

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"If nothing else in this show, if this has helped anybody create a deeper connection with someone in their lives, whether a child, a friend, another family member, a coworker, a stranger, by letting themselves be known to each other and accepting each other for who they really are, I'd be psyched."
- Jim Young
 
The concept of intimacy is often overlooked when people embark on self-discovery and personal/professional development. In this, the 41st (and perhaps final) episode of Expansive Intimacy, we take one more look at the profound impact that embracing intimacy can have on our lives. 
 
In a world where societal expectations often dictate who we should be, Jim advocates for both the relief and the strength that comes with letting go of our constructed identities to be who we truly are. (In other words, stop letting the world “should all over you” and be your full self.)
 
As a capstone to this season-long exploration of intimacy in all sorts of spaces, Jim invites us one more time to consider how intimacy transcends personal relationships and extends into the professional realm. While intimacy in the workplace can seem off-limits and/or awkward, it can be a powerful catalyst for organizational success. 
 
Let’s challenge the traditional (B.S.) notion that topics like intimacy have no place in professional settings and be the leaders we’re meant to be.
 
Quotes: x
On Discovering That Self-Intimacy Does Exist: 
"Intimacy is about connection with others, and that it's actually defined as something that exists between multiple people. And one of the cool things about this quest, one of the things that I have learned in the course of doing this show, because I've heard it from multiple guests, is that they help me see that intimacy is with ourselves, too. In fact, that it may start there for many or most of us."
 
On Purpose: 
“Every little moment, every action we take, every small unit of goodwill that we put out into the world, has the possibility of snowballing into something even bigger. And that's what I truly hope for, is that we connect with intimacy.”
 
Question for Listeners:
Who is one person that you can think of right now who might find this episode helpful? Go ahead… send them a link. You might just strike up a new and meaningful conversation with them while you’re at it!  
 
The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.
Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media
Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds
 
Editing & Production Services by JRS Young (my son). 
 

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podbean | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music
 
"We talk about some really vulnerable shit. We get all the way down to the nitty gritty."
- Jim Young
 
In a world where traditional notions of masculinity often discourage open expression and vulnerability, the latest episode of "Expansive Intimacy with Jim Young" brings a refreshing perspective on the transformative potential of men’s groups. The "Men of Teal Panel," featuring Jim Young, Reggie Marra, Mitch Anthony, and Adam Hofmann, delves into the depth of intimate group conversations and the strength found in shared vulnerability.
 
Frederick Laloux’s writings on the concept of "Teal" are at the root of a community dynamic that appreciates a spectrum of developmental perspectives. Our panelists explore this viewpoint by recounting their experiences being part of a men's group that fosters understanding, support, and emotional connection. The Teal framework they use encourages members to contribute authentically to their mutual growth and to acknowledge the complex layers of human experience.
 
Reggie Marra underscores the necessity for intimacy, empathy, and compassion, drawing connections to the wider social landscape. The panelists argue that the absence of these dimensions has historical implications contributing to societal divisions. By engaging in intimate exchanges within the microcosm of a men's group, there is potential for healing at a macro scale.
 
Mitch’s openness about his struggle with alcohol humanizes the often-taboo subject of addiction. Such revelations create ripples of trust, encouraging others to expose their own vulnerabilities. Adam Hofmann shares similar sentiments, illustrating his journey from initial discomfort to profound openness. This progression emphasizes the group's influence in transforming its participants' ability to connect deeply with both themselves and others.
Quotes: 
Mitch Anthony on the role that honesty plays in intimate relationships:
"When I am honest with myself, I can be intimate with myself. When I'm honest with others, I can be intimate with them. And this is one of the things that I just cherish about our men's group, because we have built a community of trust and space where we can be open, honest, and transparent with each other."
 
Reggie Marra on the relationship between comfort and safety: 
"I think it's really important for me to distinguish between safety and comfort because the safety of intimacy and vulnerability isn't necessarily comfortable. And I think that's an important distinction to make, especially for anyone who might hear this conversation, who conflates those two words. Just because you're safe doesn't mean you're going to be comfortable. And just because you're uncomfortable doesn't mean that you're not safe."
 
Adam Hoffmann on the accountability provided in a strong group setting: 
"It's really forced me to confront my own shit by listening to everybody else. You hear somebody else tell a story and you're like, ‘Oh yeah, that's me. That's happening to me over here.’"
About Adam Hoffmann: 
Adam Hofmann, a trailblazing entrepreneur, intrepid adventurer, and keen observer of human behavior, made a mark in 2020 when he launched 'The Mandate'. His project went deep into the realm of men's mental health. His prowess in the field of AI led most recently to the acquisition of his generative AI company in 2023. Now, as the mastermind behind AI Product & Strategy at Elixirr Consulting, he continues to push the boundaries of innovation. But his journey doesn't stop there. Adam is at the helm of a new venture, one that addresses the complex transitions and transformations men undergo as they age. 
Connect with Adam on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adhofmann/
About Reggie Marra:
Reggie Marra is an educator, writer, and coach who guides himself and (willing) others into increasingly broader and deeper perspectives, and who explores the U.S. (and the

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"I had to be the one to stand the ground in being that cycle breaker, not only for myself, but for the foundation of my marriage and my family and for the betterment of our relationships going forward."
- Christine Anastasia
 
On this week’s episode, I’m excited to share my conversation with Christine Anastasia. Christine is a Master Certified Life Coach with a long background in higher education. She’s also a young working parent. 
 
And a cycle breaker.
 
A what?? Yeah, a cycle breaker. After years of living within relationship patterns that were taking a toll on her mental health, as well as that of the people she loves, Christine realized that she could break the cycle. Which is exactly what she’s done. 
 
In this episode we explore the intricate dance between work, personal time, and relationships, and the courage it takes to dismantle social and relational norms that have been around for generations.
 
Other topics we touch on include: 
the emotional labor involved in reshaping family dynamics
how intimacy can serve as a gateway to acknowledging parts of ourselves we tend to hide
what it takes to partner up as parents in the fast-paced modern world
how healing oneself can create a positive ripple effect across generations and within our own lives
and plenty more
Quotes: 
On Personal Growth and Healing: 
"Learning about yourself and how to heal yourself, it takes time. And I think it's a unique experience for each person. My roadmap is not going to work for you or for another person. But it's about being open to look at how you want to take care of yourself in a way that supports your well being. And when you find that momentum, things start to heal. I know that when I began to heal myself, I began to heal my family."
 
The Delayed Effects of Unprocessed Feelings: 
"For so many of us, men and women, we don't see and understand the nuances of how our mental health functions within our day to day lives. Some of what happened in our childhood went unprocessed and it shows up now in our adult lives."
 
On Cycle Breaking in Family Dynamics: 
"I learned that it requires boundaries and communication and taking care of myself and being a real huge advocate for mental health and the mental health of others."
Connect with GUEST: 
links
About Christine: 
Christine is a mom of three, Emma (7), Zoe (4), and Alexander (1). Her coaching services and workshops help new and seasoned parents who are juggling work and raising a family. At their core, all parents want to be the best versions of themselves. She helps them prioritize their wellbeing in microsteps, not overhaul their life.
 
With over 10+ years working in higher education and love for helping others, she has bridged her love to educate and teach by supporting working parents that are experiencing burnout and overwhelm. By starting small and implementing wellbeing practices that fit your life is transformational and practical. After experiencing her own burnout as a working parent and being on the other side, she offers a safe and non judgemental space so you can build confidence and support in this chapter of your life. With this foundational support, you can tackle each step of your journey with a bit more grace, self compassion, and an open heart. When mom is doing well, all that she touches thrives!
 
Question for Listeners:
Who is one person that you can think of right now who might find this episode helpful? Go ahead… send them a link. You might just strike up a new and meaningful conversation with them while you’re at it!  
 
The views expressed are that of the individual and do not represent the opinions of any companies past, present or future.
Intro Music: Catch It by Coma- Media
Outro Music: Upbeat Funky Retro by QubeSounds
 
Editing & Production Services by JRS Young (my son). 
 

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podbean | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music
 
"If we are not actually sure how we operate when we are triggered or we are stressed, then we're going to struggle to really intimately connect with someone because we're going to be clearly seeing that other person and how they're behaving, but we're not seeing our dimension."
- Kimberly Hill
 
Today we are diving deep into the heart of modern relationships with our guest, Kimberly Hill, an expert on dating and relationship dynamics who coaches men who are frustrated with dating apps and tired of attracting the wrong types of women.
 
In today's world, there's a growing concern among men who find themselves overly dependent on romantic partners for emotional fulfillment. This dangerous trend highlights not just a lack of social networks, but also an adherence to outdated masculine attitudes that prevent men from seeking support from friends or groups. It turns out neediness isn't just a turn-off, it's often the result of deeply ingrained coping mechanisms and emotional habits that date back to childhood.
 
Today, we'll unpack the complex emotional landscape that men navigate as they seek intimacy and connections in a society that often stigmatizes vulnerability. Kimberly will share insights into the emotional challenges men face, especially after experiences like divorce, and she'll offer strategies for self-healing and personal growth outside of the relationship paradigm.
 
Kimberly’s open heart and keen intellect help her clients recognize their true emotions, using tools like the emotion wheel. She also encourages them to express and work through these feelings. We'll talk about the importance of genuine vulnerability and the common pitfalls that accompany misconceptions about intimacy.
 
Kimberly also sheds light on her multifaceted definition of intimacy and provides a glimpse into her work, including her podcast, "The Self Confidence Project," as well as her relationship coaching services. Listen in to challenge your perspectives and encourage growth in your intimate connections.
 
Quotes: 
On Fatherless Homes Impacting Masculinity: 
"So many men are being raised by their moms, and their moms are doing the best jobs they can, some of them, anyways. And that means they're raising men with feminine values as well, which is like, don't be confrontational, be quiet, be kind and compassionate, be nurturing. So all those are beautiful qualities, and men should have those too. But if that becomes the leading focus and values and qualities for men, then it's no wonder then when they get into relationships with women that they're bringing in that feminine energy or those feminine qualities, and they're conflict avoidant, or they're more like kind and compassionate and all those things are good things, but they also need to have the other dynamics without the sort of, and courageous and leadership and belief in themselves."
 
On Healthy Boundaries in Relationships:
“A woman is not going to lose respect for you because you're standing up for yourself, because you're establishing your boundaries. And if a woman is not respecting a man's boundaries, then, man, what are you doing with that woman?”
 
On Emotional Gold-Digging: 
“If men, or women, are not developing their intimacy and friendships or social support networks and they're not healthy, then we end up expecting more from our romantic relationships, and we then put too much pressure on them, or we have expectations that can't be met, and then that causes problems in our relationship, right?”
Connect with Kimberly: 
Email: info@selfconfidenceproject.com
Website: www.kimberlyninahill.com 
IG: @kimberlyninahill
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-self-confidence-project/id1508166181
 
Question for Listeners:
Who is one person that you can think of right now who might find this episode helpful? Go ahead… send them a link. You might just strike up a new and

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podbean | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music
 
"It's a privilege to be in a relationship. It should be two independent individuals who choose each other, who compliment each other and support and uplift each other."
- Alec Wons
 
In the latest episode of Expansive Intimacy with Jim Young, guest Alec Wons shows an old dog (Jim, the GenX-er) that younger dogs (GenZ-ers) can learn tricks a lot faster. Across topics such as admitting to people-pleasing behavior in romantic relationships, and investing the time to examine how to grow into a healthier version of himself through therapy, Alec reveals that some old stigmas that hold men back from enjoying intimacy are falling away. 
 
The Art of Advocacy in Relationships
Listen in for Alec’s revelation about advocating for his needs by erecting healthy boundaries. The shift in his relationships were dramatic when he embraced disagreements as opportunities for growth rather than conflict. 
 
The Power of Therapy and Embracing Help
Throughout the conversation, Alec highlights the stigma that surrounds men seeking therapy—a stigma he's determined to shatter. By sharing their own experiences with therapy, both Alec and Jim highlighted the strength and confidence they gained by allowing themselves to be vulnerable and ask for help. 
 
The Importance of Connecting
Alec delves into the dual edged nature of today’s technology–how it creates immense possibilities for connection, while simultaneously dampening the feeling of true connection. He also shares some lessons he’s learned about how to use tech tools, like social media, to practice the skills needed for IRL interactions. 
 
Finding Solitude and Building Emotional Intelligence
"Conquer Yourself," Alec’s book, came from a period of post-college self-reflection and isolation. He celebrates the merits of therapy and solitude for achieving inner calm, offering a glimpse into his practices, including early morning workouts and reading. 
 
Facing the End of a Career–at 20 Years Old!
Alec recounts his moment of dread when facing the end of his college soccer career due to arthritis. Check out how he turned his fear of that vulnerable moment into a reservoir of support and respect from others, illustrating the transformative power of sharing one's challenges.
Quotes: 
On the value of vulnerability: 
“One of the scariest moments in my life was when I developed arthritis at the age of 20 in college and I had to stop playing soccer. I literally went from being a member of the team to possibly not being included at all. I eventually ended up becoming the manager of the team to stay close to some friends, which is obviously a drop in status. I wondered, ‘Are they going to treat me the same? Are they going to view me the same?’ And I was very scared to open up about that. But as soon as I did, I was surrounded with love, I was surrounded with support.”
 
On the courage it takes to go first with the men in your life: 
“It's a little more rare for guys to actually open up to each other when a lot of the guys are thinking and feeling the exact same thing. And you have no idea if your buddy's going through something. So it's almost like, we just try and normalize that [silence] in a way. If you want to see a change, be the one to start making that change yourself.”
Connect with Alec: 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alecwons/    
Personal Website w/ Links to Books: https://conqueryourself.co/    
Email: alec@habithackermethod.com
More About Alec:
Alec Wons is a 2x Author, Entrepreneur, Coach and Sales Professional. Alec preaches that the key to improving the relationship with yourself and with others is to consistently practice solitude, gratitude, and empathy. Spending time with yourself, appreciating what you have in your life and being able to connect with others on a deeper level will bring you endless happiness and success. Will everything always go as plan

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"Just like you brush your teeth probably twice a day, maybe more. You shower, you take care of your clothes, you take care of your hair. You need to take care of your nervous system in the same way with daily hygiene and daily maintenance of your neural systems so that they're able to receive and integrate all of these different sensory inputs that we're talking about."
- Matt Bush
 
A few months ago, I had Elisabeth Kristof and Matt Bush on the show in consecutive episodes to talk about how we can use the body and brain in tandem for deep healing. Their episodes were packed with insights and were incredibly popular with listeners. So I decided to bring them back on for another dive into how we can tame our nervous systems.  
 
In this first-ever panel episode of Expansive Intimacy, we delve into the intricate relationship between our physiological state and our subconscious mind, the nuanced ways our bodies communicate stress, and how becoming aware of these signals can drastically improve our emotional regulation, presence, and ultimately, our connections with others.
 
Among the topics we touch on are: 
Unspoken Stress Signals - The role of nonverbal cues in indicating stress. 
Decoding Posture and Presence - How body posture can indicate someone's mental state.
Rewiring for Emotional Regulation - Both Elisabeth and Matt give examples of daily practices they use & teach for staying present and regulated. 
Neurosomatic Training as an Intimacy Tool - Learn to rewire your nervous system for improved emotional awareness and more dynamic, compassionate, and authentic relationships.
Using Intimacy to Boost Your Leadership - See how leaders can apply intimate relationship skills to build a more positive, creative environment at work. 
 
And these are merely the tip of the transformative iceberg when it comes to neurosomatic techniques for healing our bodies, minds, and our trained emotional responses. 
 
Elisabeth and Matt offer myriad first-hand accounts and expert insights on the effects of neurosomatic tools to provide a blueprint for anyone looking to enhance their intimacy across all spheres of life. Enjoy! 
Quotes: 
Matt, on Mindfulness Techniques: 
“Just take a second and recognize five to ten sensory inputs from your current environment. Like right in the moment … go! What's the temperature? Is the wind blowing? What's the lighting? What's the sound? What do I feel from tactile sensation? What do I feel inside my body? That could take less than 10 seconds, right? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It really brings you back into the present moment, creating a little space from wherever your brain had wandered off from.”
 
Elisabeth, on Understanding Nonverbal Communication: 
"Well, I think one of the best things is to just begin to understand that so much of our communication with one another is nonverbal. And once you become aware of that and how the nervous system is always communicating with you, the nervous system of another person is always communicating with you."
 
Elisabeth, on The Complexities of Emotional Repression: 
"Just like Matt was saying, it's not conscious at all, right? But there is such a high threat level associated in our subconscious with the experience of certain emotions, big emotions that can be very dysregulating, and that we may be experienced at a much earlier age when that experience was so dysregulating to the nervous system that it was quite literally life threatening. It kicked into a survival threat. And so we learn to repress those emotions because there is no real separation between emotional regulation and nervous system dysregulation. It's all part of a physiological process."
Connect with Elisabeth Kristof:
Neuro-Somatic Intelligence Coaching Certification: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/
Brain-Based Wellness Membership: https://brainbased-wellness.com/membership/