114 episodes

We’re all familiar with the idea of a pilot episode, the one-off test run of a series to see whether or not it could ever work as a television show. But what happens to the shows that never make it past that stage? Usually they’re cast aside and disappear from the public eye forever, doomed to fade into obscurity.

But Melbourne comedy troupe The Consumption say “No more!” We are reaching deep into the bowels of television history to bring you back hot, steaming piles of TV's many bizarre miscarriages. All while mixing the most disgusting metaphors possible.

We’ll seek out and expose ourselves to the worst television pilots ever made so you don’t have to. Each episode will see us dissect and discuss another horrible failed pilot for our amusement. Join us in our schadenfreude as we talk about wrestlers solving crimes, invisible monsters, kung-fu ravers, talking dogs solving crimes, teleporting stand-up comedians, cross dressing misogynists, magicians solving crimes and a whole bunch of other terrible ideas, most of which involve crimes being solved.

Welcome to Failure to Launch! The only TV podcast about shows that don’t exist.

Failure To Launch The Consumption

    • Comedy
    • 4.8 • 28 Ratings

We’re all familiar with the idea of a pilot episode, the one-off test run of a series to see whether or not it could ever work as a television show. But what happens to the shows that never make it past that stage? Usually they’re cast aside and disappear from the public eye forever, doomed to fade into obscurity.

But Melbourne comedy troupe The Consumption say “No more!” We are reaching deep into the bowels of television history to bring you back hot, steaming piles of TV's many bizarre miscarriages. All while mixing the most disgusting metaphors possible.

We’ll seek out and expose ourselves to the worst television pilots ever made so you don’t have to. Each episode will see us dissect and discuss another horrible failed pilot for our amusement. Join us in our schadenfreude as we talk about wrestlers solving crimes, invisible monsters, kung-fu ravers, talking dogs solving crimes, teleporting stand-up comedians, cross dressing misogynists, magicians solving crimes and a whole bunch of other terrible ideas, most of which involve crimes being solved.

Welcome to Failure to Launch! The only TV podcast about shows that don’t exist.

    Defenders of Dynatron City

    Defenders of Dynatron City

    In the midst of Turtle mania, surrounded by Street Sharks, Battletoads and Martian Biker Mice, one studio decided to do things backwards: What if we made the tie-in videogame first, and made the cartoon second?
    Unfortunately the game was a disaster, so obviously the adventures of Bullet-head Man, Horny Buzzsaw-for-legs Girl, Sentient Toolbox and uh... some other ones. They're a team, they fought crime, probably.
    Reviewers: James Ferris, Harry Brimage, Alex Malone
    Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

    • 1 hr 6 min
    507 - Bermuda Triangle

    507 - Bermuda Triangle

    Wouldn't you know it, John doesn't spend enough time with his family! But that's ok, they're going on a long cruise, just the four of them. But oh no! The boat sank, they're drowning!
    But that's ok, they washed up on an island, with people and everything! The people tell them they've been there for decades and you can never leave, but that's ok! The beach is nice! Also one of the kids needs insulin and is running out, but that's ok! There's magic dolphins! That's ok! That's ok! That's ok That's ok That's okthat'sokthatsokthatsokthatsokthatsokthatsokthatsokthatsokthatsok
    S O S A O K S O S S O S A O K S O S S O S A O K S O S S O S A O K S O S
    Reviewers: James Ferris, David Shaw, Alex Malone
    Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

    • 1 hr 30 min
    506 - Suburban Beat

    506 - Suburban Beat

    Our first Failure to Launch for 2020 is the super-1985 Suburban Beat, the story of 4 suburban housewives thrown together by circumstance (they wanted to) to solve the murder of their friend.
    I say friend, but to be honest they're kinda glib about the whole thing. This quickly changes, however, as the details of the murder become more and more serious, forcing them to come face to face with the dark underbelly of Middle America-
    I lied. They stay just as glib, but the rest of that stuff happens.
    Reviewers: James Ferris, David Shaw, Lisa Dibb, Alex Malone
    Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

    • 1 hr 31 min
    Creating Rem Lazar

    Creating Rem Lazar

    Two kids cuddle a s****y mannequin who turns into a man with a blue mullet. He avoids getting stabbed in 80s New York City while teaching the kids about centrist politics. None of them can sing, but they do and you can't stop them. This is Creating Rem Lazar, and it's madness.
    You can find Sarah and Michael's podcast, Sarah and Michael Save Christmas here, or find them on twitter at @meandmyeasel for Michael, or @why_in_the_heck for Sarah!
    Reviewers: James Ferris, Sarah Baggs, Michael Williams
    Soundboard: Lisa Dibb

    • 1 hr 22 min
    Madame Sin

    Madame Sin

    This week we're looking at our oldest pilot ever, Madame Sin, a 1973 attempt to kinda do Bond on TV, but what if the villain was the protagonist and also Bette Davis?
    She's got everything: weird gadgets, a secret lair, underground lab filled with mad scientists, a delightfully camp second-in-command, even a plan to steal a nuclear submarine!
    The only thing she's missing is someone willing to tell her to stop adding steps to her plan, or maybe suggest she think about using that mind control device more often.
    Reviewers: James Ferris, David Shaw, Harry Brimage
    Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

    • 1 hr 48 min
    The Owl

    The Owl

    This Failure to Launch covers The Owl, a trapped-between-eras vigilante hero who is both an 80s style down-and-dirty street justice thug and, in 90s style, named for a dumb bird.
    When The Owl comes up against rapping drug dealer Cool Ice (he has a henchman with a boombox on standby), no amount of carbombed daughters or late city busses can stop him getting shot repeatedly for justice. A quick lie down might be good though. Or a shower. Goddamn this guy really needs a shower.
    Reviewers: James Ferris, David Shaw, Alex Malone
    Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

    • 1 hr 49 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
28 Ratings

28 Ratings

The_Ruiner_Who _Ruins ,

An Australian diamond in the Australian rough.

I deeply miss this show. I wish they’d make new episodes again. MAKE MORE EPISODES!!

SamueltheBOSS1 ,

One of the all time greats

It’s pretty good. No I’m kidding it’s one of the best podcasts out there. Wish they would come out with more episodes.

CASSETIQUETTE ,

One of my favorites

Hilarious. Great group.

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