Fast Theatre Charles James

S3 - Zombies UK Promo

It's 1978. A virus has taken over the planet. It causes the dead to rise and attack and eat the living.

Two ex-British soldiers have made it out of London to the north of England. They are in a closed underground military base. Can they survive the hordes of undead roaming the countryside? And help save everyone else.

Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.

For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com

Contact: info@fasttheatre.com 

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.

The show is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980s. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.

This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.

Some things in the show may be shocking and stressful, and a possible trigger for the modern audience.

Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.

If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.

If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.

The Old Bill may be something you will enjoy.

Or not?

If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning properly. 

S2 EP4 - Moggie

The squad had a huge result. They arrested a hard gang of blaggers from West London. The chief inspector's mother's prize Cornish Rex cat goes missing. They have to find him before they can celebrate.

Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Fast Theatre.

For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com

Contact: info@fasttheatre.com 

DI COOK - Charles James

BEST - Russell Bonner

TERRY - Charles James

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Slang Dictionary.

The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. You can find a full explanation of rhyming slang on many websites. We have used it as it would have been in the 1970s and 80s in West London. These are some word explanations from this episode to help.

Thrups - Breasts

Tart - Girl

Beak - Judge

Jammy - Lucky

Lugholes - Ears

knackers - Testicles

Toffee-nosed - Posh/High Class

Two and Eight - State

Moggie - Cat

Brown Bread - Dead

MUSIC:

"The Old Bill Theme"

Written by Jim Moncur

Published by Songtrust

Under License from Jim Moncur

"The Old Bill Theme Part 2"

Written by Jim Moncur

Published by Songtrust

Under License from Jim Moncur

"Spunky Strut"

Published by S.I. Publishing

Under License from Audio Hero

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.

The show is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980s. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.

This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.

Some things in the show may be shocking and stressful, and a possible trigger for the modern audience.

Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.

If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.

If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.

The Old Bill may be something you will enjoy.

Or not?

If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning properly. 

S2 EP3 - Flaps

Terry becomes a vegetarian. The other officers rip him to pieces. Cook makes a bet he can't last a week. Lawsie makes sure Terry is smelling and seeing them eat meat all day. Will he crack or win the bet?

Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.

For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com

Contact: info@fasttheatre.com 

DI COOK - Charles James

LAWSIE - Russell Bonner

TERRY - Charles James

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

MUSIC:

Lunar-Cops

Written By:

G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon

Cliffdweller Music

Licensed through Audio Hero.

The Old Bill Theme

Written By: Jim Moncur

Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/

Licensed through Jim Moncur.

The Old Bill Theme Part 2

Written By: Jim Moncur

Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/

Licensed through Jim Moncur.

Fraternity Party

Published by Sounds Incredible Publishing

Licensed through Audio Hero.

Slang Dictionary

The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. You can find a full explanation of rhyming slang on many websites. We have used it as it would have been in the 1970s and 80s in West London. These are some word explanations from this episode to help.

Pony - Defecate

Bird - Girl

Bollocks - Testicles

Up to snuff - Up to the required standard

Chippy - Fish and Chip shop

S2 EP2 - Blag

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.

This is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980s. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.

This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.

This may shock and be stressful, and a trigger for the modern audience.

Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.

If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.

If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.

The Old Bill may be something you will enjoy.

Or not?

If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning properly. 



S2 EP2 - Blag

The squad go after a gang of armed robbers. They already have seven jobs under their belts. Terry tells Cook about his family and his gay brother. The arrest of the gang turns into a huge fight. Cook's old girlfriend shows up. She now dates his boss. They get a warning about smashing up the local bar toilets.

Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.

For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com

Contact: info@fasttheatre.com 

DI COOK - Charles James

NADINE - Kelly Smith

LAWSIE - Russell Bonner

TERRY - Charles James

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

MUSIC:

Lunar-Cops

Written By:

G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon

Cliffdweller Music

Licensed through Audio Hero.

The Old Bill Theme

Written By: Jim Moncur (PRS)

Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/

Licensed through Jim Moncur.

Sweeten the Pot

Written by: 

Bobby Cole (PRS)

Published by S.I. Publishing

Licensed through Audio Hero.

The Old Bill Theme Part 2

Written By: Jim Moncur (PRS)

Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/

Licensed through Jim Moncur.

Cockney Slang Dictionary.

The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. For those people not acquainted with it we have a list of words used in this episode and their meaning.

Hampton - Penis

Nob - Penis

Slash - Urinate

Barnet - Hair

Blag - Robbery

Snout - Informant

On Your Jack - Alone

Bog - Toilet

Khazi - Toilet

Ruby Murray - Curry

Septic - American

Tooled Up - Posses weapons

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.

Season 2 is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980's. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.

This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.

This may shock and be stressful, and a trigger for the modern audience.

Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.

If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.

If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.

"The Old Bill," may be something you will enjoy.

Or not?

If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning. 

S2 EP1 - Bottle

Detectives Cook and Terry work for London's crack police squad. Terry gets shot during an arrest. When he recovers, they are both put on a big local bank robbery case. It's time to round up the local villains and get them talking.

Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.

For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com

Contact: info@fasttheatre.com 

DI COOK - Charles James

CHRIS THE CARD - Russell Bonner

TERRY - Charles James

BRADSHAW - Charles James



The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Cockney Slang.

The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. For those people not acquainted with it we have a list of words used and their meaning. There are no set rules. Some slang words can have more than one meaning. It depends on the context. Our explanation is to help your understanding of the show. You can find a full explanation of rhyming slang on many websites. We use here it as it would have been in the 1970s and 80s in West London.

Harris - Arse

Monkey - £500.00

Blag - Crime

Farmers - Hemorrhoids

Nonce - Child molester

Tosser - Someone who masturbates a lot

Tom - Jewelry

Grass - Informant

Nicked - Arrested or Stolen

Bollocks - Testicles

Cattle trucked - F****d

Manor - Local area

Pugged up - Hidden

Kiting - Using stolen cheques

Nutter - Crazy person

Form - Has a criminal record

Banged up - In prison

Bent - Illegal

MUSIC:

Lunar-Cops

Written By:

G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon

Cliffdweller Music

Licensed through Audio Hero.

The Old Bill Theme

Written By: Jim Moncur

Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/

Licensed through Jim Moncur.

The Old Bill Theme Part 2

Written By: Jim Moncur

Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/

Licensed through Jim Moncur.

Redline

SI Publishing

Licensed through Audio Hero.

London 1980s. Detectives Cook and Terry are on surveillance. Their boss, Bradshaw, wants to push Cook out. He thinks his outdated methods are a joke. The pair mess up and their subject gets away. Bradshaw lays down the law. Cook isn't impressed.

Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.

For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com

Contact: info@fasttheatre.com 

DI COOK - Charles James

LAWSIE - Russell Bonner

TERRY - Charles James

BRADSHAW - Charles James

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

MUSIC:

Lunar-Cops

Written By:

G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon

Cliffdweller Music

Licensed through Audio Hero.