Coffee, Cults, and Empires

The Not Actually Players RPG Crew
  • 5.0 (2)
  • COMEDY FICTION
  • BIWEEKLY SERIES

An "actual" play comedic narrative RPG podcast where the players are themselves characters living in a world built in a lab.

  1. EPISODE 1

    Episode 001 - Guests at the Hall

    Guests at the Hall Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 001 The Intern introduces himself and the podcast from the supply closet. Our players begin their adventure at the Great World Gambling Hall of Mirrors. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice) Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Isaac Pendergrass as The Boss. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/isaacpendergrass . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  2. EPISODE 2

    Episode 002 - Finishing What was Started

    Finishing What's Started Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 002 There's been a security leak in the lab! In the game, the party resumes their fight against the invading spiders. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 . Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Isaac Pendergrass as The Boss. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/isaacpendergrass . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  3. EPISODE 3

    Episode 003 - Snacks, Sheets, and Lies

    Snacks, Sheets, and Lies Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 003 The management at the lab is having a closed door meeting, probably about the Intern. The party is offered a job and totally gets right to work. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 . Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  4. EPISODE 4

    Episode 004 - The Case of the Wormy Apple

    The Case of the Wormy Apple Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 004 The Intern searches for clues in unusual places. The crew goes to get breakfast. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 . Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  5. EPISODE 5

    Episode 005 - Striking, Slapping, and Investigating

    Striking, Slapping, and Investigating Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 005 When the Intern is fired, the whole experiment world goes on strike. The crew does some actual investigation! Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 . Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Isaac Pendergrass as The Boss. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/isaacpendergrass . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  6. EPISODE 6

    Episode 006 - Caught by the Mindlord

    Caught by the Mindlord Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 006 The Intern starts to explore why the world worships him as a god. Tanam explains his extremely funny jokes. The party, caught by the Mindlord, have some explaining to do. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 . Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Isaac Pendergrass as The Boss. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/isaacpendergrass . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes . He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  7. EPISODE 7

    Episode 007 - Don't Think of Anything Incriminating

    Don't Think of Anything Incriminating Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 007 What's that? Actual work for the Intern?! Also, Don is still a magic-denier, and Urekas has a date with the Mindlord. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1 . Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Isaac Pendergrass as The Boss. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/isaacpendergrass . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

  8. EPISODE 8

    Episode 008 - Lizard Country

    Lizard Country Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 008 The Intern has been doing research on the historical Urekas. Vafrus totally has a very real girlfriend. In the game, the crew deals with some lizards. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as Urekas. Find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chelseacomedy . Chris Grumbles as Don as Georg. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisgrumbles, but it's just one picture of his cat’s eye and a drinking bird sipping a cocktail. Desiree Phair as Rozafeen as Hellena (and Justice). Sylas Silver as Vafrus as Calumn as Ruffort. Check out his RPG where you get to the good parts of roleplay faster at https://readysetrole.org/ Meet Sylas for real and chat about stories and games at https://silverstoriesondiscords.org/ Hear more of his silly nonsense ideas about worldbuilding at https://youtube.com/@sylassilver1. Mark E. Phair as Tanam the DM. Find him at https://markephair.com . Isaac Pendergrass as The Boss. Follow him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/isaacpendergrass . Edited by Mark (Tanam) and Desiree (Rozafeen). Music by Kevin Vitz-Wong. Hear more music at https://kevinvitzwong.bandcamp.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/kvw.makes He also plays clarinet in Glitch Kibbitz https://glitchkibbitz.bandcamp.com . Character art and logo design by Carmanda. Find her at https://carmandaartsthings.com . Sensitivity consulting by Dominique Dickey. Find links to more of their work, including fiction and game design, at https://dominiquedickey.com/ , https://www.twitter.com/DomSDickey , and https://www.instagram.com/DomSDickey .

See All Season 1 (35)

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5
out of 5
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About

An "actual" play comedic narrative RPG podcast where the players are themselves characters living in a world built in a lab.

Information

  • Creator
    The Not Actually Players RPG Crew
  • Episodes
    35
  • Seasons
    1
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Mark E. Phair
  • Show Website
    Coffee, Cults, and Empires