Finding Common Ground

ROC Vox Podcast Network
  • 5.0 (1)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED MONTHLY

Many families feel like they're treading water, especially those living with autism and other developmental differences. As your hosts, we get it, and we know this frustration all too well. In response, we've created tried-and-true strategies that help everyday people achieve extraordinary things. Even those who might have doubted themselves can borrow our confidence, follow one of our "blueprints," and with a supportive community cheering them on, make the impossible happen. Each success inspires those coming up behind us, creating a ripple effect of positive change—Which is why we'll never run out of content!Our podcast tackles tough issues head-on with unfiltered conversations focused on solutions. We won't avoid "the elephant in the room"—in fact, we'll invite it to dinner! Our unique format appeals to people from across the globe, offering strategies that turn efforts for one into advocacy for the greater good. We breakdown topics like innovative housing, effective self-advocacy, and healthcare complexities, guided by our audience on what to cover next. Each episode offers fresh perspectives, featuring many guests you won't find on mainstream platforms. We intentionally invite differing viewpoints because finding common ground with those we see as obstacles is the surest way to create new and innovative solutions.  Join our Supporter's Club and check out our merch. Let’s ensure the A/I/DD community's voice is heard. If you want to dig deeper, schedule a session with us. We happily work one-on-one, develop trainings, and offer public speaking engagements to assist individuals and organizations in promoting things like inclusivity and equity. Join our community, plant seeds of positive change, and before you know it, you'll be moving mountains with us! Want to support our mission and access exclusive content? Join our Supporter's Club and check out our merch. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

  1. Making It Right When Transition Feels Wrong

    2D AGO

    Making It Right When Transition Feels Wrong

    If you have ever walked into a CSE meeting and thought, I don’t even know what to ask for, this episode is for you. Heather and Steve are joined by Sara DeFazio, a Transition Specialist with New York State’s Central Region Partnership Center, and she keeps it real. This is a fast, practical conversation about what happens when transition plans look fine on paper but miss the mark in real life. Sara names the patterns families recognize immediately. People get underestimated. Teams default to familiar vocational paths. Parents sense something is off, but are unsure how to stop the momentum. We break down what transition planning is actually supposed to do, why it starts at age 12, and how to use the process as a tool instead of letting it become paperwork. We also talk about why so-called unrealistic goals are often clues, not problems, and how asking better questions can open real paths forward. This episode also includes a real-world scenario families and districts may be grappling with: What happens when a nonspeaking student who has begun spelling wants to use transition time to practice typing, so she can communicate in real time? What happens when the goal is to build age‑level academic skills and reach for something bigger, like earning a GED? Our conversation digs into what happens when teams feel unsure how to support goals like these, worry about what is allowed, or default to safer, more familiar vocational options instead. Sara helps unpack how schools can honor ambitious goals without breaking rules, and why uncertainty should never automatically lead to underestimation. This episode will help you walk into your next meeting clearer, more confident, and better prepared to advocate. Find your New York State Partnership Center and resource map: https://map.osepartnership.org Learn more about NYS Regional Partnership Centers and Family and Community Engagement Centers: https://osepartnership.org/about Learn more about the Finding Common Ground (FCG) platform at https://www.fcgadvocacy.org. FCG is more than a podcast. We are changing the way advocacy is done by showing families, professionals, and policymakers how finding common ground is how we find what’s worth doing. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    48 min
  2. Teaching Independence Without Throwing Graduates Off "The Cliff"

    FEB 12

    Teaching Independence Without Throwing Graduates Off "The Cliff"

    When school ends, the bus stops coming, and traditional transition options do not feel like the right fit, what comes next? In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve talk with Brad Herron-Valenzuela from First Place Phoenix about what it really takes to build independence without “sink or swim” thinking, and the importance of not underestimating people. Brad shares what has worked, what has changed, and why true independence is not an event but a process of teaching, practicing, and supporting growth over time. Marking the 10-year anniversary of the First Place Transition Academy program, he describes “how many firsts” their graduates experience, first paycheck, first time riding the bus or light rail, first time living away from home, even first time missing a stop or losing a backpack, and why those real-world mistakes are essential to learning. Brad also explains how a program that once required families to pay fully out of pocket began to shift when outcomes were measured and tracked over time. As data showed meaningful progress, including long-term gains in independence and quality of life, insurance coverage for clinical components became possible. It was not because of marketing, but because evidence changed the conversation. This episode is not about promoting a single program or suggesting there is one solution that fits every person. It is about noticing what works, understanding the underlying formula, and recognizing that some tools already exist. Learn4Independence®, a core component of the First Place Transition Academy, is a 32-course curriculum developed for adults with autism that focuses on independent living skills and career readiness. Unique curriculum elements accommodate various learning differences and incorporate universally designed instruction adaptable to community and cultural needs. We talk openly about the emotional weight families carry, the feeling of the clock ticking, and why simply placing someone in an apartment or program is not enough. Skills have to be taught, practiced, and reinforced in real life. Independence is not an event, it is a process. Learn4Independence is a certified, evidence-informed curriculum that states and school districts can explore, adapt, and implement. With that context, the episode asks a powerful question: Now that you know approaches like this exist, what might you advocate for in your own state, region, or community? Families should not have to invent the future from scratch. Sometimes the work is recognizing proven ideas, adapting them locally, and pushing systems to invest in what truly moves people forward. 🔗 Links Referenced in This Episode First Place Transition Academy: https://firstplaceaz.org/transition-academy/ Transition Academy Discover Day Guide: https://firstplaceaz.org/transition-academy/discover-day-guide/ Learn4Independence Life Skills Curriculum: https://firstplaceglobal.org/employment/learn4independence/ Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    43 min

  3. FEB 5

    When Your Parents Foster Nearly 200 Kids...

    This episode is the first one of our new FCG spin-off series called, The Mother Load and we started out with a bang! Heather sits with her co-host Steve’s daughter, Rachel, and digs into what it was really like growing up in a home where her parents fostered nearly 200 children. She speaks candidly about the chaos, the compassion, and the moments that tested everything, answering the question many people quietly wonder:  How do parents open their home to nearly 200 children and still make sure their own kids feel seen, secure, and deeply loved? Rachel grew up sharing her parents, her space, and her childhood with hundreds of children who arrived carrying trauma, fear, and hope. Some stayed briefly. Others became family forever. In this conversation, Rachel reflects on what it meant to move from “the baby” to “the big sister,” the times generosity stretched a household thin, and how understanding trauma reshaped the way she saw anger, fairness, and belonging. This episode isn’t about foster care from the system’s point of view. It’s about life inside the home, and how intentional parenting, communication, and love make it possible to expand care without losing connection. The Mother Load is a Finding Common Ground spin-off for caregivers, daughters, and the people carrying the unseen emotional load. This is where those stories finally get airtime. Come Tired. Leave Empowered.  Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    38 min

  4. JAN 29

    Was Heather Always This Strong? The Backstory of an Unlikely Advocate

    TAKEOVER EPISODE with Guest Host Jackie Bartell. Have you ever looked at someone and assumed they were just born strong, that they have “always done the hard thing,” and were simply made for advocacy? In this special takeover episode, retired special education teacher and longtime friend Jackie Bartell slides into the guest host chair and turns the mic on Heather, asking the questions most people never hear. Heather goes back to the years when she was painfully shy, stuck in “fix it” mode, and living in a home where hostility was breaking more than the furniture. You will hear the moment embarrassment became fuel, the night she changed the locks and chose her daughters over the life she thought she was supposed to fix, and how saying yes to help, and fundraising for Devyn’s 120-pound service dog Hannah, became the turning point. Along the way, Jackie and Heather revisit the little girl with the big dog, the preschool classroom where Devyn and Hannah became rock stars, and the shift from trying to “fix” problems to building relationships and changing systems. This episode also offers an early peek into the advocacy framework Heather and Steve are shaping in an upcoming book, the mindset shift that moves people from feeling frozen and inadequate to finding their voice, building unlikely coalitions, and holding systems accountable without losing their humanity. If you have ever wondered whether you “have what it takes” to speak up, let this conversation be your reminder. Strength is built, not assigned, and sometimes you become an advocate the day you decide you just cannot stay quiet anymore. Learn more and join the movement at www.FCGadvocacy.org Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    45 min
  5. When Parents Stop Asking for Permission & Start Leading

    JAN 22

    When Parents Stop Asking for Permission & Start Leading

    What if the hardest part of advocating for your child isn’t the system, but unlearning the way you’ve been taught to think about it? What if you keep doing the same things because they feel safe, even when they stopped working a long time ago? What if the mindset that got you through the early years is now the very thing holding you back? In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve sit down with Lynda Allen, career educator, advocate, and TEDx speaker, for a conversation that rewrites what most of us were taught about special education, labels, and empowerment. Lynda honors how exhausting and heartbreaking the day to day can be, while insisting on this truth, there is nothing broken about your child, and nothing defective about you as a parent. From that starting point, she invites parents to stop waiting for the system to get fixed and start seeing themselves as decision making partners in every service, support, and opportunity their child receives. “Being empowered means becoming a decision making partner in your child’s education and life, not doing it alone, and not giving your power away.” — Lynda Allen This isn’t about fighting harder. It is about thinking differently so you can build the education and the life your child deserves. We talk about: How labels can cloud the way we see our kids, and how to take that power back Why dream first matters, especially when it feels impossible Lynda’s four step framework for moving from survival to leadership as an empowered parent Building a village so you are not doing this alone, and how empowered parents change systems from the ground up If you’re tired of proving your child’s worth and ready to try a different way forward, this episode is for you. Come tired, leave empowered, and before the episode ends, write down your child’s dream role and one bold step you will take as their partner this week.  Lynda’s book: https://a.co/d/h5h7CeR  Learn more and connect: https://makeyourmarkinlife.org/empoweredparentsbee Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    48 min
  6. When “Someday” Becomes Now: Life After Mom and Dad

    JAN 7

    When “Someday” Becomes Now: Life After Mom and Dad

    Planning isn’t just paperwork. What happens when families do everything they can, but without guidance, the plan unravels at the exact moment it matters most? In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve are joined by Samantha Harrison, founder of Momentum Family Strategies and a disability support strategist who works with families navigating what she calls life after mom and dad. Samantha brings a rare, honest perspective from the front lines. She supports siblings and aging parents who suddenly find themselves responsible for everything—services, housing, staffing, paperwork—often at the exact moment they are grieving the loss or decline of a primary caregiver. She explains, “We tell families to plan ahead, but we don’t teach them how to plan for the day they’re not there.” Together, they explore why planning too often becomes reactive, why paperwork alone can’t carry a future, and how systems built around crisis leave families scrambling when stability matters most. In this conversation, you’ll hear: Why families are told they’ve “planned,” but still feel unprepared when the moment comes How siblings become caregivers overnight, without training or a roadmap Why self-direction is often misunderstood as a shortcut instead of a responsibility What truly makes a plan hold when the primary caregiver is gone How guidance, education, and vision—not just forms—change outcomes “Without guidance, families don’t fail to plan. They’re set up to plan in pieces.” Samantha also shares practical insight into letters of intent, future planning, workforce realities, and how families can begin identifying gaps before those gaps turn into crisis. “Planning has to start with the why—what kind of life do we want, and why does it matter?” This episode is for parents, siblings, advocates, professionals, and policymakers who have ever asked themselves what really happens when support systems are no longer held together by one person’s unpaid labor. This isn’t a conversation about fear. It’s a conversation about preparation, honesty, and building plans that can stand—even when we’re not there to hold them up. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production in Pittsford, NY. Learn more at https://rocvox.com. #FindingCommonGround, #PodcastWithPurpose, #ChangingTheWayAdvocacysDone, #EmpowermentAdvocacy, #UnfilteredConversations, #FocusedOnSolutions, #InviteTheElephantToDinner, #DisabilityAdvocacy, #CaregiverSupport, #LifeAfterMomAndDad, #FuturePlanning, #FamilyCaregivers, #SelfDirection, #DisabilityRights, #CaregiverLife, #PlanningAhead, #CommunityLiving, #EndInstitutionalization, #AgingCaregivers, #SiblingSupport, #InclusionMatters, #SystemsChange Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    40 min
  7. School Ends & Gaps Become Painfully Clear

    12/18/2025

    School Ends & Gaps Become Painfully Clear

    When school ends, support doesn’t just pause. For many families, it vanishes. “There are 25 skills students need to make an informed decision about what comes after 12th grade,” says college and career coach Phil Vetrano. “And we’re not teaching them. Not at school. Not at home. Not anywhere.” In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Phil joins us to talk about the hidden gaps families run into when the school bus stops coming, especially for kids with disabilities, learning differences, or nontraditional paths. “We weren’t taught decision-making models,” Phil explains.“ So we never learned how to teach our kids how to choose.” This conversation isn’t about picking the perfect career. It’s about exposure, preparation, and why so many young people are expected to make life-altering decisions without the tools to do so. “If you want to be the CEO of your career,” Phil says, “you hire experts. You don’t do it alone.” If you’ve ever looked at your child and thought, How are they supposed to figure this out? This episode will feel uncomfortably familiar.  Listen now and learn more about Phil at: linkedin.com/in/phil-vetrano-mba and his website: planningandvision.com Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    46 min
  8. Finding Your Neurodistinct Voice

    12/11/2025

    Finding Your Neurodistinct Voice

    “Our brains process the sounds for emotion before we process the words for understanding.” In this episode, Heather and Steve sit down with Google technologist and autistic advocate Tim Goldstein, whose late-in-life diagnosis rewired how he sees communication, work, and autism itself. Tim shares how he went from being “the kid who kept getting fired” to someone who now coaches others on using voice, story, and language to actually get results in a neurotypical world—without selling themselves out. You’ll hear them dig into: Why how you say something often matters more than what you say The difference between “masking” and simply adapting to shared social norms Why Tim hates the word “neurodivergent” and prefers “neurodistinct” How the words we use with managers can accidentally make them feel stupid… and sabotage our own accommodations Heather’s daughter’s powerful mic-drop: “I’d rather you not define me by what I can’t do.” Eye contact, notifications, and the fine line between “the world should change” and “I want better outcomes, so what can I tweak?” Dating, loneliness, and why so many autistic adults miss subtle signals of interest If you’re autistic, love someone who is, or work in education, healthcare, or HR, this conversation will change how you hear every interaction—and how you talk about autism from here on out.  Learn more about Tim: https://www.timgoldstein.com/ Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support. Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.

    45 min
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About

Many families feel like they're treading water, especially those living with autism and other developmental differences. As your hosts, we get it, and we know this frustration all too well. In response, we've created tried-and-true strategies that help everyday people achieve extraordinary things. Even those who might have doubted themselves can borrow our confidence, follow one of our "blueprints," and with a supportive community cheering them on, make the impossible happen. Each success inspires those coming up behind us, creating a ripple effect of positive change—Which is why we'll never run out of content!Our podcast tackles tough issues head-on with unfiltered conversations focused on solutions. We won't avoid "the elephant in the room"—in fact, we'll invite it to dinner! Our unique format appeals to people from across the globe, offering strategies that turn efforts for one into advocacy for the greater good. We breakdown topics like innovative housing, effective self-advocacy, and healthcare complexities, guided by our audience on what to cover next. Each episode offers fresh perspectives, featuring many guests you won't find on mainstream platforms. We intentionally invite differing viewpoints because finding common ground with those we see as obstacles is the surest way to create new and innovative solutions.  Join our Supporter's Club and check out our merch. Let’s ensure the A/I/DD community's voice is heard. If you want to dig deeper, schedule a session with us. We happily work one-on-one, develop trainings, and offer public speaking engagements to assist individuals and organizations in promoting things like inclusivity and equity. Join our community, plant seeds of positive change, and before you know it, you'll be moving mountains with us! Want to support our mission and access exclusive content? Join our Supporter's Club and check out our merch. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

Information

  • Creator
    ROC Vox Podcast Network
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    49
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    ©2026 ROC Vox Recording & Production
  • Show Website
    Finding Common Ground