Five Year You

Andrew Dewar and Catherine Collins
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to "Five Year You," the podcast that takes you on a transformative journey toward your future self. Join us as we explore the power of self-improvement, tackling challenges, setting goals, and unleashing the potential within you. Our conversations are raw, real, and relatable, offering practical tips and insights to empower you in your growth. Each episode offers useful tips to help you become the person you aspire to be. Tune in, invest in yourself, and let's embark on this adventure together! Get ready for a unique and personal exploration of the honest and relatable moments that will shape the next chapter of your story. In each episode, we dive into the day-to-day experiences that make up the mosaic of your life over the next five years. From the small victories to the inevitable challenges, "Five Year You" captures the essence of the ordinary and extraordinary moments that contribute to your personal growth. Our tagline, "Raw, Real, Relatable," perfectly encapsulates the authenticity of the stories we share. No glossy highlights, just the unfiltered reality of navigating the twists and turns of everyday life. Join us as we connect with individuals from various walks of life who openly share their aspirations, setbacks, and the unexpected surprises that come with each passing day. Whether you're facing career crossroads, building relationships, or discovering new passions, "Five Year You" is here to provide a real-time reflection on the shared human experience. Tune in for a daily dose of inspiration, motivation, and a reminder that you're not alone on this journey.

  1. 3h ago

    Encore: The Power Of Looking for Evidence

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been expecting things to go wrong… like your mind notices every setback but overlooks your progress… like success always feels just out of reach—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Your brain is always looking for evidence to support what you already believe. And more importantly… you can teach it to start noticing a different story. 💭 What This Episode Covers How your thoughts shape the way you experience realityWhy your brain naturally searches for evidence that confirms your beliefsHow negative expectations can quietly sabotage your successWhy you may overlook progress, victories, and positive momentsPractical ways to challenge limiting beliefsHow to train your mind to notice joy, possibility, and growth 🚨 Why Your Brain Looks for Negative Evidence Your Mind Wants to Be RightOnce you believe something about yourself or your life, your brain begins searching for proof that confirms it.If you believe you always fail, every mistake becomes evidence.Meanwhile, your progress may be ignored or dismissed.👉 Result: A belief starts to feel like a fact simply because you keep noticing what supports it.Negative Expectations Feel ProtectiveExpecting the worst can seem like a way to avoid disappointment.You may think that if you prepare for failure, rejection, or difficulty, you will be less hurt when it happens.👉 Result: You spend more time experiencing imagined pain than enjoying what is actually going well.Victories Are Easy to MinimizeWhen something goes wrong, you may replay it for days.But when something goes well, you might call it luck, dismiss it as small, or immediately focus on the next problem.👉 Result: Your mind collects evidence of failure while forgetting evidence of growth.Old Beliefs Shape New ExperiencesBeliefs such as “I’m not capable,” “Nothing works out for me,” or “I’ll never succeed” influence what you notice and how you respond.You may avoid opportunities, give up early, or interpret uncertainty as proof that you should stop.👉 Result: The belief begins creating the very outcome you were afraid of. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Looking for the Worst When you believe life is always working against you, it creates: AnxietyDiscouragementSelf-doubtHopelessnessEmotional exhaustion You may struggle to enjoy positive moments because you are waiting for something to go wrong. You may overlook how much you have grown. You may stop trusting yourself before you have even had the chance to try. And the worst part? 👉 You can become so focused on proving your fears that you miss the evidence that you are already succeeding. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger A mind trained to expect failure can quietly guide you toward choices that keep you stuck. Examples: Turning down an opportunity because you assume you will failGiving up after one setbackIgnoring compliments while believing every criticismComparing your struggles to someone else’s successDismissing small wins because they do not feel significant enough 👉 What you repeatedly look for becomes what you repeatedly see. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear Your thoughts are powerful—but they are not always true. A belief can feel familiar without being accurate. A fear can feel convincing without predicting the future. You are not defined by your setbacksYour progress still counts when it is smallOne difficult moment does not erase your growthYou can question the stories you have carriedYou can train your mind to notice what is working 👉 You do not have to believe every thought your brain offers you. 🔄 What Negative Thinking Actually Means Negative thinking does not mean you are broken or destined to be unhappy. It may mean your brain has practiced one pattern for a long time. It may be trying to protect you. It may be repeating beliefs that once helped you make sense of difficult experiences. But learned patterns can be challenged. New evidence can be collected. A different story can be practiced. 👉 Awareness is the beginning of changing what you believe is possible. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Looking for the Worst” Mindset Identify the BeliefNotice the thought beneath your reaction.Ask yourself:What am I assuming right now?What do I believe this situation says about me?Is this a fact—or a familiar story?Look for Contrary EvidenceGently challenge the belief by searching for examples that do not support it.If your thought is “I never follow through,” ask:When have I kept a promise to myself?What have I completed?Where have I shown consistency?👉 You are not forcing positivity—you are allowing yourself to see the whole picture.Record Your WinsWrite down moments of progress, courage, connection, and joy.They do not have to be dramatic.Maybe you had a difficult conversation.Maybe you rested instead of pushing through.Maybe you tried again.Your brain needs repetition to create a new pattern.Replace Absolutes with PossibilityNotice words such as:Always.Never.Everyone.Nothing.Try replacing them with more honest language:“This is difficult right now.”“I am still learning.”“This outcome is not decided yet.”“Something different may be possible.”Choose What You Want to FindBegin each day with a simple question:What evidence can I look for today?Evidence that people are kind?Evidence that I am growing?Evidence that good moments exist?Evidence that I can trust myself?👉 When you intentionally look for possibility, you become more available to experience it. 💡 Key Takeaway Your brain will search for evidence that supports the story you tell yourself. If the story is rooted in fear, it will find reasons to expect failure. But you can interrupt that pattern. You can notice your wins. You can question old beliefs. You can look for evidence of growth, joy, support, and possibility. 👉 Change what you are searching for, and you begin to change what you can see. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode Catching a negative thought before automatically believing itRemembering a victory you once dismissedNoticing one small thing that went right todayRealizing that a hopeful perspective can also be honest 💬 Final Thought Your life contains more evidence than your fear wants you to notice. There is evidence that you have survived. Evidence that you have grown. Evidence that you can begin again. Evidence that joy still finds you. You do not have to deny what is difficult. You simply have to stop letting difficulty tell the entire story. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: The Power Of Looking for Evidence

  2. Aug 12

    Encore: The Lost Art Of Vulnerability

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been craving deeper relationships… like people know parts of you but not the real you… like lowering your guard feels risky or uncomfortable—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Vulnerability is not weakness. And more importantly… authenticity is what makes genuine connection possible. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why vulnerability creates deeper, more meaningful relationshipsThe difference between being open and oversharingHow sharing personal struggles can strengthen trustWhy authenticity supports emotional resilienceCommon misconceptions about vulnerabilityHow to let your guard down in a healthy, intentional way 🚨 Why Vulnerability Feels So Difficult Fear of RejectionLetting someone see the real you means accepting that they may not respond the way you hope.You may fear being judged, misunderstood, or seen differently.👉 Result: You protect yourself from rejection—but also from deeper connection.Past Experiences Create ArmorIf your openness has been dismissed, criticized, or used against you before, it makes sense that you learned to protect yourself.Your guard may have helped you survive painful moments.👉 Result: A protection that once kept you safe can later keep love and support at a distance.You Were Taught That Strength Means IndependenceMany people learn that being strong means handling everything alone.Asking for help, admitting fear, or expressing hurt can feel like failure.👉 Result: You appear capable on the outside while feeling isolated on the inside.You Want to Control How Others See YouVulnerability requires releasing the polished version of yourself.It means allowing people to see uncertainty, imperfection, and emotion.👉 Result: Managing your image becomes more important than being genuinely known. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Keeping Your Guard Up When you believe it is unsafe to be seen, it creates: LonelinessEmotional distanceAnxietyDisconnectionExhaustion You may be surrounded by people and still feel unknown. You may long for deeper connection while hiding the very parts of yourself that make intimacy possible. And the worst part? 👉 You can be loved and still struggle to feel loved when no one has access to the real you. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger Avoiding vulnerability can quietly lead you into relationships that feel safe on the surface but empty underneath. Examples: Saying “I’m fine” when you are strugglingAvoiding difficult conversations to prevent discomfortUsing humor to deflect emotional honestyPulling away when someone gets too closePretending not to care because caring feels risky 👉 When protection becomes a permanent way of living, it can create the disconnection you were trying to avoid. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear You do not have to be perfect to be worthy of connection. You do not have to hide your struggles to be respected. You do not have to carry everything alone. Vulnerability is not the absence of boundariesHonesty does not require sharing everything with everyoneYou can be open and discerningYou can be soft and strongYou can protect yourself without closing your heart 👉 Real strength is allowing yourself to be seen while still honoring your own safety. 🔄 What Vulnerability Actually Means Vulnerability is not emotional exposure without limits. It is honest connection. It is saying what is true when it matters. It is admitting when you need help. It is sharing your feelings with people who have earned your trust. It is choosing authenticity over performance. 👉 Letting your guard down is not losing your power—it is using it with intention. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Guarded” Mindset Start SmallVulnerability does not have to begin with your deepest pain.Share one honest thought.Admit when you are nervous.Tell someone when their support matters to you.Small moments of openness build trust over time.Choose Safe PeopleNot everyone deserves access to your most tender experiences.Ask yourself:Does this person listen without judgment?Do they respect my boundaries?Have they handled my honesty with care?👉 Vulnerability grows best where trust is mutual.Name What You Are FeelingPractice saying:“I feel hurt.”“I’m afraid.”“I need reassurance.”“I’m having a hard time.”Clear emotional language helps others understand how to connect with you.Share Without Controlling the ResponseAuthenticity does not guarantee the reaction you want.Someone may need time, ask questions, or respond imperfectly.Focus on expressing yourself honestly rather than managing how you are received.Let Support Reach YouVulnerability is not only about sharing.It is also about allowing someone to comfort you, help you, or stand beside you.Notice the urge to dismiss kindness or say you do not need anything.👉 Connection deepens when you let yourself receive. 💡 Key Takeaway Vulnerability is the doorway to authenticity. It allows relationships to move beyond surface-level connection and into trust, understanding, and emotional intimacy. You do not need to reveal everything at once. You only need the courage to be a little more honest, a little more open, and a little more willing to be known. 👉 The relationships you want are built when you stop performing and start showing up as yourself. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of admitting that you do not have everything figured outA conversation that feels honest instead of polishedSomeone responding to your openness with careRealizing that you are not alone in what you have been carrying 💬 Final Thought There is courage in letting yourself be seen. Not perfectly. Not all at once. Not by everyone. But slowly, safely, and honestly. The walls you built may have protected you. But the right people will not ask you to tear them down. They will help you create a door. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: The Lost Art Of Vulnerability

  3. Aug 5

    Encore: What To Do When You’re Feeling Behind

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling like everyone else is ahead of you… like you should have more figured out by now… like your life is moving too slowly—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: You are not behind. And more importantly… your life was never meant to follow someone else’s timeline. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why feeling behind is often rooted in comparisonHow societal expectations shape your definition of progressPractical ways to manage overwhelm and regain a sense of controlWhy productivity needs to fit your individual life and energyHow gratitude can shift your focus from lack to growthWhy authenticity and self-awareness matter more than keeping up 🚨 Why Feeling Behind Happens The Myth of the Perfect TimelineSociety often suggests that you should reach certain milestones by a certain age.Career.Marriage.Money.Confidence.Purpose.But there is no universal schedule for becoming who you are.👉 Result: You judge your real life against an imaginary deadline.Comparison Distorts RealityYou see other people’s achievements, opportunities, and highlight reels—but not their doubts, setbacks, or private struggles.Comparison gives you an incomplete picture and asks you to treat it like the whole truth.👉 Result: Someone else’s progress becomes evidence that you are failing.Success Is Presented as One PathYou may have been taught that success means following a predictable sequence of steps.But not every meaningful life unfolds in a straight line.Detours, pauses, restarts, and unexpected changes can all be part of growth.👉 Result: A different path begins to feel like the wrong path.Overwhelm Makes Everything Feel UrgentWhen your mind is carrying too many tasks, worries, and expectations, even small responsibilities can feel heavy.You may believe you are falling behind when you are actually overloaded.👉 Result: Pressure replaces perspective. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Feeling Behind When you believe you should be further ahead, it creates: ShameAnxietyFrustrationEnvySelf-doubtEmotional exhaustion You may stop noticing your own growth. You may dismiss how far you have already come. You may become so focused on catching up that you lose connection with the life you are living now. And the worst part? 👉 Feeling behind can convince you to abandon your own path in order to chase someone else’s. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger When you believe you are running out of time, you may make choices from fear instead of alignment. Examples: Rushing into a relationship because everyone else is partneredStaying in a job because changing direction feels too lateUsing productivity systems that do not fit your energy or needsTaking on more because slowing down feels like failureHiding your struggles because everyone else seems to be doing better 👉 Urgency can push you toward a life that looks right but does not feel right. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear You are not behind. There is no universal timeline. Life is not linear. Your pace is not proof of your worth. Your path does not need to look like anyone else’s in order to be meaningful. You are allowed to begin againYou are allowed to move slowlyYou are allowed to change your mindYou are allowed to grow in ways no one else can seeYou are allowed to define success for yourself 👉 You do not need to catch up—you need to come back to yourself. 🔄 What Feeling Behind Actually Means Feeling behind may not mean you are failing. It may mean you are becoming more aware of what you want. It may mean your old definition of success no longer fits. It may mean you need more support, more rest, or a different approach. It may mean you are in a season of learning rather than visible achievement. 👉 This feeling can be the beginning of a more honest and intentional life. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Behind” Mindset Stop Comparing → Start DefiningAsk yourself:What does progress look like for me?What do I actually want?Which goals feel meaningful—and which ones came from pressure?You cannot feel grounded while using someone else’s life as your measuring stick.Focus on the Next Manageable StepWhen everything feels urgent, narrow your focus.What is one task you can complete?What is one decision you can make?What is one thing you can release?👉 You do not need to solve your entire life today.Build Productivity Around Your NeedsThe most popular system is not always the right system for you.Pay attention to your energy, responsibilities, attention span, and season of life.Create a method that supports you instead of shaming you.Productivity should help you live—not make you feel permanently inadequate.Practice Gratitude Without Denying Your FeelingsGratitude is not pretending everything is perfect.It is noticing what is still good while acknowledging what is difficult.Ask yourself:What is working?What have I learned?What support, progress, or joy is already present?Choose Authenticity Over PerformanceYou do not have to pretend you have everything figured out.Let yourself be honest about where you are.Be willing to build new friendships, ask for help, and show up with vulnerability.👉 Real connection begins when you stop performing and allow yourself to be known. 💡 Key Takeaway Feeling behind is often a sign that you are measuring your life against expectations that were never designed for you. You are not late. You are not failing. You are not missing your chance. Your life is unfolding through every lesson, pause, friendship, challenge, and new beginning. 👉 You are not behind—you are becoming. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode Setting an intention before beginning your dayExperiencing the joy that comes from helping someone elseBuilding a new friendship through honesty and vulnerabilityNoticing small moments of progress instead of only looking at the finish line 💬 Final Thought You do not have to race through your life to prove that it matters. You do not have to reach every milestone on time. There is still room to begin. Room to grow. Room to change. Room to become more fully yourself. Your path is not late. It is yours. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: What To Do When You’re Feeling Behind

  4. Jul 29

    Encore: Redefining Success On Your Own Terms

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been chasing success but still feeling unfulfilled… like you’re doing everything you’re supposed to do but something still feels missing… like your life looks good on the outside but doesn’t feel right on the inside—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Success is not one-size-fits-all. And more importantly… you are allowed to define it for yourself. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why external markers of success can still leave you feeling emptyHow societal expectations shape your goals and prioritiesThe difference between looking successful and feeling successfulWhy peace, authenticity, and alignment matter more than validationHow Andrew and Cat began redefining success in their own livesPractical ways to create a definition of success that actually belongs to you 🚨 Why Traditional Success Can Feel So Unfulfilling Society Hands You a DefinitionFrom an early age, you may be taught that success means achievement, status, recognition, money, or reaching certain milestones.You begin working toward a life you were told to want without stopping to ask whether it truly fits you.👉 Result: You can reach the goal and still feel disconnected from your own life.External Validation Becomes the MeasureWhen success depends on approval, praise, titles, or comparison, your confidence becomes tied to how other people see you.No achievement feels secure because there is always another level to reach.👉 Result: Success becomes something you must constantly prove.Achievement Can Become a DistractionChasing the next milestone can keep you too busy to notice how you actually feel.You may continue pushing forward because slowing down could reveal that your goals no longer reflect who you are.👉 Result: Progress on paper can hide emotional exhaustion underneath.The Goalpost Keeps MovingYou tell yourself you will feel successful when you earn more, accomplish more, or finally arrive.But every achievement creates another expectation.👉 Result: Fulfillment is always postponed until some future version of your life. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Chasing the Wrong Success When you believe success must look a certain way, it creates: PressureComparisonBurnoutSelf-doubtDisconnection from your values You may feel guilty for wanting something different. You may question whether peace is enough. You may keep pursuing goals that impress other people but drain you. And the worst part? 👉 You can spend years building a life that never truly felt like yours. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger An inherited definition of success can quietly lead you into misaligned choices. Examples: Staying in a career that looks impressive but leaves you depletedPrioritizing productivity over peaceChoosing goals based on what others will admireIgnoring your values to meet a socially accepted timelineBelieving rest, joy, or simplicity must be earned 👉 A life can look successful and still feel deeply wrong for the person living it. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear Success is not a title. It is not a number. It is not a finish line everyone must reach in the same way. You are allowed to value peaceYou are allowed to change your prioritiesYou are allowed to want a simpler lifeYou are allowed to define fulfillment differentlyYou are allowed to outgrow old goals There is no universal definition of a successful life. 👉 The most meaningful success is the kind that feels honest when no one else is watching. 🔄 What Questioning Success Actually Means Questioning your definition of success does not mean you lack ambition. It may mean you are becoming more aware. More intentional. More honest about what matters to you. It means you are no longer willing to sacrifice yourself for goals that do not feel aligned. 👉 Redefining success is not giving up—it is choosing your life on purpose. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “External Success” Mindset Stop Measuring → Start DefiningAsk yourself:What does success look like for me?How do I want my life to feel?What would I still want if no one else ever saw it?Your answers may be very different from what you were taught.Identify Your Core ValuesConsider what matters most to you.Is it freedom?Connection?Peace?Creativity?Family?Growth?Let your values become the foundation for your goals.Notice What You Are ChasingLook honestly at your current goals.Ask:Do I truly want this?Or do I want the approval I think it will bring?Are these goals energizing me or slowly draining me?Define Success by How It FeelsSuccess is not only about what you achieve.It can also be about who you become and how you experience your days.Maybe success feels like: Waking up with peaceHaving time for the people you loveDoing meaningful workFeeling comfortable being yourselfTrusting your own decisions 👉 A successful life should feel good to live—not just look good from the outside.Take One Aligned StepYou do not have to redesign your entire life today.Choose one small action that reflects your personal definition of success.Set a boundary.Make time for something meaningful.Release a goal that no longer fits.Give yourself permission to choose differently. 💡 Key Takeaway Success is not something society gets to define for you. It is not about reaching every milestone, impressing every person, or constantly proving your worth. It is about building a life that reflects your values. A life that feels peaceful. Authentic. Meaningful. And yours. 👉 True success is not becoming who the world expects—it is becoming more fully yourself. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of realizing you are allowed to want something differentA quiet moment of peace in the middle of a difficult seasonLetting go of a goal that no longer reflects who you areChoosing authenticity over approval 💬 Final Thought You do not need to win at someone else’s version of life. You do not need to keep chasing goals that leave you empty. Success can be quieter than you imagined. It can look like peace. It can feel like freedom. It can be the courage to live honestly. Your life does not have to make sense to everyone else. It only has to feel true to you. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: Redefining Success On Your Own Terms

  5. Jul 22

    Encore: How To Feel Your Feelings: A Practical Guide for Beginners

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by your emotions… like you can’t quite name what you’re feeling… like everything is building up inside you—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: You are not bad at emotions. And more importantly… feeling your feelings is a skill you can learn. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why emotions can feel confusing or overwhelmingHow to identify what you’re actually feelingWhy naming an emotion can reduce its intensityHow to create space for emotions without becoming consumed by themHealthy ways to release pent-up emotional energyWhy feeling your feelings supports long-term well-being 🚨 Why Feeling Your Feelings Feels So Hard You Were Never Taught HowMany of us learned how to solve problems, meet expectations, and keep moving—but not how to sit with sadness, anger, fear, or disappointment.👉 Result: Emotions feel like problems to fix instead of experiences to understand.Your Feelings Seem Too BigWhen emotions have been ignored for a long time, they can arrive all at once.Instead of one clear feeling, you may experience tension, exhaustion, irritability, numbness, or overwhelm.👉 Result: You shut down because you don’t know where to begin.You’re Afraid the Feeling Won’t EndYou may worry that allowing yourself to feel sadness will make you sad forever.Or that acknowledging anger will make you lose control.But emotions move when they are allowed to be felt.👉 Result: Avoiding the feeling often keeps it around longer.You Judge What You FeelYou may tell yourself:“I shouldn’t feel this way.”“Other people have it worse.”“I need to get over it.”👉 Result: You experience the original emotion—and shame for having it. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Avoiding Your Feelings When you believe your emotions are too much, it creates: DisconnectionNumbnessIrritabilityAnxietyEmotional exhaustion What you don’t allow yourself to feel does not simply disappear. It may show up in your body, your relationships, your reactions, or your inability to rest. And the worst part? 👉 The more you avoid your emotions, the harder it becomes to hear what they are trying to tell you. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger When emotions remain unnamed and unprocessed, they can quietly influence your choices. Examples: Saying yes when you want to say noSnapping at someone because you haven’t acknowledged your stressNumbing yourself with constant scrolling, food, work, or busynessStaying in situations that repeatedly hurt youMistaking emotional suppression for strength 👉 Unfelt emotions do not disappear—they often come out sideways. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear Your feelings are not failures. They are not proof that you are weak, dramatic, or broken. Emotions are information. They can show you what matters, what hurts, what needs attention, and where a boundary may be needed. You are allowed to feel without explainingYou are allowed to pauseYou are allowed to need supportYou are allowed to feel more than one emotion at once 👉 You do not have to fear your feelings in order to move through them. 🔄 What Overwhelm Actually Means Overwhelm does not always mean something is wrong with you. It may mean too much has gone unacknowledged. You may need rest. You may need space. You may need to name what you have been carrying. You may need to let your body complete an emotional response it has been holding onto. 👉 Overwhelm can be an invitation to slow down and listen. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Avoidance” Mindset Pause and NoticeBefore trying to change anything, take a moment to notice what is happening inside you.Ask yourself:What sensations do I feel in my body?Is there tightness, heaviness, heat, pressure, or restlessness?Start with what you can observe.Name the EmotionMove beyond “good,” “bad,” or “stressed.”Ask:Am I disappointed?Lonely?Embarrassed?Angry?Afraid?Grieving?Naming the feeling can make it feel more manageable.Let the Feeling ExistTry saying:“This is what I’m feeling right now.”You do not need to justify it.You do not need to solve it immediately.Give yourself permission to experience the emotion without becoming the emotion.Create a Safe ReleaseEmotions carry energy, and that energy often needs somewhere to go.You might: CryJournalTake a walkShake out tensionBreathe slowlyTalk with someone you trust 👉 The goal is not to force the feeling away—it is to let it move.Ask What You NeedOnce the intensity softens, ask:What is this feeling trying to show me?Do I need comfort?A boundary?Rest?Reassurance?A difficult conversation?Your emotions may not always give you instructions, but they often offer important information. 💡 Key Takeaway Feeling your feelings does not mean being controlled by them. It means noticing what is present, naming it honestly, and allowing it to move through you. You do not need to master every emotion overnight. Start small. Pause. Notice. Name. Allow. Release. 👉 The more safely you feel your emotions, the less power they need to use to get your attention. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of finally finding the right word for what you feelA deep breath that helps your body softenThe quiet comfort of letting yourself cryRealizing you can feel something deeply without being consumed by it 💬 Final Thought Your feelings are not here to ruin your day. They are here to be heard. You do not have to run from them. You do not have to fix them. You only have to meet them with honesty and compassion. What you are willing to feel, you can begin to heal. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: How To Feel Your Feelings: A Practical Guide for Beginners

  6. Jul 15

    Encore: Are Expectations Destroying Your Relationships?

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling disappointed by the people you love… like you’re giving more than you’re receiving… like others keep letting you down—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: The pain of unmet expectations is real. And more importantly… letting go of expectations doesn’t mean giving up on your needs. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why expectations quietly create tension in relationshipsThe difference between expectations, needs, and agreementsHow the desire for control affects your happinessWhy unspoken expectations often lead to resentmentHow honest communication strengthens relationships and business partnershipsHow to find more joy in ordinary, present moments 🚨 Why Unmet Expectations Hurt So Much Unspoken RulesWe often expect others to know what we need without clearly telling them.We assume they should remember, notice, understand, or respond in a certain way.👉 Result: They unknowingly break a rule they never knew existed.Expectations Feel Like PromisesWhen you imagine how someone will behave, your mind can begin treating that imagined outcome as a guarantee.When reality unfolds differently, it can feel like something was taken from you.👉 Result: Disappointment feels personal—even when no promise was made.Expectations Create a Sense of ControlExpectations can make life feel predictable.We believe that if people act the way we expect, we will feel safe, loved, respected, or successful.But other people have their own needs, fears, priorities, and perspectives.👉 Result: Your emotional well-being becomes dependent on someone else following your internal plan.We Attach Meaning to the OutcomeA missed gesture can quickly become:“They don’t care about me.”“I’m not important.”“I can’t rely on anyone.”The event hurts—but the meaning we attach to it often hurts even more. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Unmet Expectations When you believe people should behave a certain way, it creates: FrustrationResentmentDisconnectionSelf-doubtEmotional exhaustion You may begin keeping score. You notice every time someone falls short while overlooking the ways they are already showing up. And the worst part? 👉 Expectations can prevent you from experiencing the relationship that is actually in front of you. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger Unexamined expectations can lead you into choices that are based on control rather than connection. Examples: Staying silent while resentment buildsTesting someone instead of telling them what you needExpecting a business partner to understand responsibilities that were never clearly definedWithdrawing affection because someone failed to meet an invisible standardTrying to control the outcome instead of responding to reality 👉 When expectations replace communication, relationships become filled with confusion instead of trust. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to desire respect, consistency, honesty, and care. Releasing expectations does not mean accepting poor treatment. It means recognizing the difference between what you can communicate and what you can control. You can express your needsYou can create clear agreementsYou can set boundariesYou can choose how you respondYou cannot control another person 👉 Peace begins when you stop demanding certainty and start choosing clarity. 🔄 What Disappointment Actually Means Disappointment is not proof that your relationship is doomed. It may be showing you that something needs to be communicated. A boundary may need to be set. An assumption may need to be questioned. An agreement may need to be clarified. Or reality may be asking you to release an outcome that was never yours to control. 👉 Disappointment can become wisdom when you allow it to teach you. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Expectation” Mindset Separate Expectations from AgreementsAsk yourself:Was this clearly discussed?Did the other person agree to it?Or did I assume they would know?Expectations are often private. Agreements are shared.Communicate Before Resentment BuildsSay what you need clearly and kindly.Instead of:“You should have known.”Try:“This is important to me. Can we talk about what would work for both of us?”Honest communication gives the relationship a chance to succeed.Release the Need to Control the ResponseYou can communicate clearly without controlling what happens next.The other person may agree, compromise, say no, or reveal that they cannot meet your need.Their response gives you valuable information.👉 Clarity may not always feel comfortable, but it helps you make aligned choices.Question the Meaning You’re CreatingWhen you feel disappointed, pause before turning the moment into a story.Ask yourself:What actually happened?What am I assuming this means?Is there another possible explanation?Return to the Present MomentExpectations keep your attention focused on how life should be.Presence helps you notice what is already here.Look for the small moments of connection, effort, beauty, and care that might otherwise go unnoticed. 💡 Key Takeaway Expectations are not always wrong. But when they remain unspoken, rigid, or tied to your happiness, they can quietly damage the relationships you care about most. You do not need to stop wanting meaningful things. You simply need to communicate your needs, release what you cannot control, and remain open to what life is actually offering. 👉 Fulfillment grows when you trade silent expectations for honest connection. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode A quiet moment of connection that didn’t need to be plannedThe relief of finally saying what you needFinding joy in an ordinary part of your dayRealizing that a different outcome can still be a meaningful one 💬 Final Thought Life will not always follow the picture you created in your mind. People will surprise you. Plans will change. Some outcomes will disappoint you. But when you release the need for every moment to happen your way, you make room for something deeper: Presence. Honesty. Freedom. And real connection. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: Are Expectations Destroying Your Relationships?

  7. Jul 8

    Encore: The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy

    The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy: Small Shifts That Spark Big SmilesWhat if joy didn’t have to come from huge milestones, perfect circumstances, or a totally redesigned life? In this re-released episode of Five Year You, we’re talking about the simple, everyday ways you can bring more joy, meaning, and positivity into your routine. Because sometimes the smallest shifts — a treat at the end of the day, a cozy morning ritual, a song you love, or a moment of gratitude — can create the biggest emotional lift. This episode is a beautiful reminder that joy is not something you have to wait for. It is something you can intentionally build into your day. In this episode, you’ll learn:How to find daily joy in simple, ordinary momentsWhy having something to look forward to can change the way your day feelsHow small daily rewards can help with motivation and momentumSimple ways to turn mundane tasks into moments of pleasureHow to create positive habits that support personal growth, even in a busy season of life Why this episode mattersSo many people wait for life to calm down before they let themselves feel happy. But joy does not have to be reserved for vacations, weekends, or “someday.” This episode invites you to look at your daily life differently. Instead of trying to overhaul everything, you can start by adding tiny moments that make you smile, feel supported, and reconnect with yourself. Key takeawayJoy is not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it is a small ritual, a favorite coffee, a walk outside, a good song, or a tiny reward that reminds you life can still feel good right now. Ready to go deeper?If you’re ready to create more peace, joy, and alignment in your life, learn more about coaching with us here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching

    Encore: The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy

  8. Jul 1

    Encore: How to Train Your Brain for Optimism - Best Case Scenarios

    Discover an unexpected twist in personal growth that will change the way you see your relationships. Dive into a raw, relatable conversation and learn how a simple shift in mindset can lead to healing and newfound peace. Join Andrew and Kat on their journey towards the best version of themselves, and find out how a seemingly small change can make a monumental difference. Stay tuned for the surprising glimmers that light up their lives. You won't want to miss this. In this episode, you will be able to: Embracing the benefit of the doubt leads to healthier relationships and greater understanding.Cultivating a best case scenario mindset can transform personal growth and lead to unexpected opportunities.Overcoming negative thinking empowers you to navigate life's challenges with resilience and optimism.Practicing self-compassion is crucial for personal development, leading to improved self-esteem and emotional well-being.Handling relationship changes positively fosters growth and strengthens connections in your life.

    Encore: How to Train Your Brain for Optimism - Best Case Scenarios
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Welcome to "Five Year You," the podcast that takes you on a transformative journey toward your future self. Join us as we explore the power of self-improvement, tackling challenges, setting goals, and unleashing the potential within you. Our conversations are raw, real, and relatable, offering practical tips and insights to empower you in your growth. Each episode offers useful tips to help you become the person you aspire to be. Tune in, invest in yourself, and let's embark on this adventure together! Get ready for a unique and personal exploration of the honest and relatable moments that will shape the next chapter of your story. In each episode, we dive into the day-to-day experiences that make up the mosaic of your life over the next five years. From the small victories to the inevitable challenges, "Five Year You" captures the essence of the ordinary and extraordinary moments that contribute to your personal growth. Our tagline, "Raw, Real, Relatable," perfectly encapsulates the authenticity of the stories we share. No glossy highlights, just the unfiltered reality of navigating the twists and turns of everyday life. Join us as we connect with individuals from various walks of life who openly share their aspirations, setbacks, and the unexpected surprises that come with each passing day. Whether you're facing career crossroads, building relationships, or discovering new passions, "Five Year You" is here to provide a real-time reflection on the shared human experience. Tune in for a daily dose of inspiration, motivation, and a reminder that you're not alone on this journey.

Information

  • Creator
    Andrew Dewar and Catherine Collins
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    135
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    ©Five Year You
  • Show Website
    Five Year You

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