Five Year You

Andrew Dewar and Catherine Collins
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to "Five Year You," the podcast that takes you on a transformative journey toward your future self. Join us as we explore the power of self-improvement, tackling challenges, setting goals, and unleashing the potential within you. Our conversations are raw, real, and relatable, offering practical tips and insights to empower you in your growth. Each episode offers useful tips to help you become the person you aspire to be. Tune in, invest in yourself, and let's embark on this adventure together! Get ready for a unique and personal exploration of the honest and relatable moments that will shape the next chapter of your story. In each episode, we dive into the day-to-day experiences that make up the mosaic of your life over the next five years. From the small victories to the inevitable challenges, "Five Year You" captures the essence of the ordinary and extraordinary moments that contribute to your personal growth. Our tagline, "Raw, Real, Relatable," perfectly encapsulates the authenticity of the stories we share. No glossy highlights, just the unfiltered reality of navigating the twists and turns of everyday life. Join us as we connect with individuals from various walks of life who openly share their aspirations, setbacks, and the unexpected surprises that come with each passing day. Whether you're facing career crossroads, building relationships, or discovering new passions, "Five Year You" is here to provide a real-time reflection on the shared human experience. Tune in for a daily dose of inspiration, motivation, and a reminder that you're not alone on this journey.

  1. 15h ago

    Encore: Redefining Success On Your Own Terms

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been chasing success but still feeling unfulfilled… like you’re doing everything you’re supposed to do but something still feels missing… like your life looks good on the outside but doesn’t feel right on the inside—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Success is not one-size-fits-all. And more importantly… you are allowed to define it for yourself. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why external markers of success can still leave you feeling emptyHow societal expectations shape your goals and prioritiesThe difference between looking successful and feeling successfulWhy peace, authenticity, and alignment matter more than validationHow Andrew and Cat began redefining success in their own livesPractical ways to create a definition of success that actually belongs to you 🚨 Why Traditional Success Can Feel So Unfulfilling Society Hands You a DefinitionFrom an early age, you may be taught that success means achievement, status, recognition, money, or reaching certain milestones.You begin working toward a life you were told to want without stopping to ask whether it truly fits you.👉 Result: You can reach the goal and still feel disconnected from your own life.External Validation Becomes the MeasureWhen success depends on approval, praise, titles, or comparison, your confidence becomes tied to how other people see you.No achievement feels secure because there is always another level to reach.👉 Result: Success becomes something you must constantly prove.Achievement Can Become a DistractionChasing the next milestone can keep you too busy to notice how you actually feel.You may continue pushing forward because slowing down could reveal that your goals no longer reflect who you are.👉 Result: Progress on paper can hide emotional exhaustion underneath.The Goalpost Keeps MovingYou tell yourself you will feel successful when you earn more, accomplish more, or finally arrive.But every achievement creates another expectation.👉 Result: Fulfillment is always postponed until some future version of your life. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Chasing the Wrong Success When you believe success must look a certain way, it creates: PressureComparisonBurnoutSelf-doubtDisconnection from your values You may feel guilty for wanting something different. You may question whether peace is enough. You may keep pursuing goals that impress other people but drain you. And the worst part? 👉 You can spend years building a life that never truly felt like yours. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger An inherited definition of success can quietly lead you into misaligned choices. Examples: Staying in a career that looks impressive but leaves you depletedPrioritizing productivity over peaceChoosing goals based on what others will admireIgnoring your values to meet a socially accepted timelineBelieving rest, joy, or simplicity must be earned 👉 A life can look successful and still feel deeply wrong for the person living it. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear Success is not a title. It is not a number. It is not a finish line everyone must reach in the same way. You are allowed to value peaceYou are allowed to change your prioritiesYou are allowed to want a simpler lifeYou are allowed to define fulfillment differentlyYou are allowed to outgrow old goals There is no universal definition of a successful life. 👉 The most meaningful success is the kind that feels honest when no one else is watching. 🔄 What Questioning Success Actually Means Questioning your definition of success does not mean you lack ambition. It may mean you are becoming more aware. More intentional. More honest about what matters to you. It means you are no longer willing to sacrifice yourself for goals that do not feel aligned. 👉 Redefining success is not giving up—it is choosing your life on purpose. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “External Success” Mindset Stop Measuring → Start DefiningAsk yourself:What does success look like for me?How do I want my life to feel?What would I still want if no one else ever saw it?Your answers may be very different from what you were taught.Identify Your Core ValuesConsider what matters most to you.Is it freedom?Connection?Peace?Creativity?Family?Growth?Let your values become the foundation for your goals.Notice What You Are ChasingLook honestly at your current goals.Ask:Do I truly want this?Or do I want the approval I think it will bring?Are these goals energizing me or slowly draining me?Define Success by How It FeelsSuccess is not only about what you achieve.It can also be about who you become and how you experience your days.Maybe success feels like: Waking up with peaceHaving time for the people you loveDoing meaningful workFeeling comfortable being yourselfTrusting your own decisions 👉 A successful life should feel good to live—not just look good from the outside.Take One Aligned StepYou do not have to redesign your entire life today.Choose one small action that reflects your personal definition of success.Set a boundary.Make time for something meaningful.Release a goal that no longer fits.Give yourself permission to choose differently. 💡 Key Takeaway Success is not something society gets to define for you. It is not about reaching every milestone, impressing every person, or constantly proving your worth. It is about building a life that reflects your values. A life that feels peaceful. Authentic. Meaningful. And yours. 👉 True success is not becoming who the world expects—it is becoming more fully yourself. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of realizing you are allowed to want something differentA quiet moment of peace in the middle of a difficult seasonLetting go of a goal that no longer reflects who you areChoosing authenticity over approval 💬 Final Thought You do not need to win at someone else’s version of life. You do not need to keep chasing goals that leave you empty. Success can be quieter than you imagined. It can look like peace. It can feel like freedom. It can be the courage to live honestly. Your life does not have to make sense to everyone else. It only has to feel true to you. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: Redefining Success On Your Own Terms

  2. Jul 22

    Encore: How To Feel Your Feelings: A Practical Guide for Beginners

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by your emotions… like you can’t quite name what you’re feeling… like everything is building up inside you—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: You are not bad at emotions. And more importantly… feeling your feelings is a skill you can learn. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why emotions can feel confusing or overwhelmingHow to identify what you’re actually feelingWhy naming an emotion can reduce its intensityHow to create space for emotions without becoming consumed by themHealthy ways to release pent-up emotional energyWhy feeling your feelings supports long-term well-being 🚨 Why Feeling Your Feelings Feels So Hard You Were Never Taught HowMany of us learned how to solve problems, meet expectations, and keep moving—but not how to sit with sadness, anger, fear, or disappointment.👉 Result: Emotions feel like problems to fix instead of experiences to understand.Your Feelings Seem Too BigWhen emotions have been ignored for a long time, they can arrive all at once.Instead of one clear feeling, you may experience tension, exhaustion, irritability, numbness, or overwhelm.👉 Result: You shut down because you don’t know where to begin.You’re Afraid the Feeling Won’t EndYou may worry that allowing yourself to feel sadness will make you sad forever.Or that acknowledging anger will make you lose control.But emotions move when they are allowed to be felt.👉 Result: Avoiding the feeling often keeps it around longer.You Judge What You FeelYou may tell yourself:“I shouldn’t feel this way.”“Other people have it worse.”“I need to get over it.”👉 Result: You experience the original emotion—and shame for having it. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Avoiding Your Feelings When you believe your emotions are too much, it creates: DisconnectionNumbnessIrritabilityAnxietyEmotional exhaustion What you don’t allow yourself to feel does not simply disappear. It may show up in your body, your relationships, your reactions, or your inability to rest. And the worst part? 👉 The more you avoid your emotions, the harder it becomes to hear what they are trying to tell you. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger When emotions remain unnamed and unprocessed, they can quietly influence your choices. Examples: Saying yes when you want to say noSnapping at someone because you haven’t acknowledged your stressNumbing yourself with constant scrolling, food, work, or busynessStaying in situations that repeatedly hurt youMistaking emotional suppression for strength 👉 Unfelt emotions do not disappear—they often come out sideways. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear Your feelings are not failures. They are not proof that you are weak, dramatic, or broken. Emotions are information. They can show you what matters, what hurts, what needs attention, and where a boundary may be needed. You are allowed to feel without explainingYou are allowed to pauseYou are allowed to need supportYou are allowed to feel more than one emotion at once 👉 You do not have to fear your feelings in order to move through them. 🔄 What Overwhelm Actually Means Overwhelm does not always mean something is wrong with you. It may mean too much has gone unacknowledged. You may need rest. You may need space. You may need to name what you have been carrying. You may need to let your body complete an emotional response it has been holding onto. 👉 Overwhelm can be an invitation to slow down and listen. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Avoidance” Mindset Pause and NoticeBefore trying to change anything, take a moment to notice what is happening inside you.Ask yourself:What sensations do I feel in my body?Is there tightness, heaviness, heat, pressure, or restlessness?Start with what you can observe.Name the EmotionMove beyond “good,” “bad,” or “stressed.”Ask:Am I disappointed?Lonely?Embarrassed?Angry?Afraid?Grieving?Naming the feeling can make it feel more manageable.Let the Feeling ExistTry saying:“This is what I’m feeling right now.”You do not need to justify it.You do not need to solve it immediately.Give yourself permission to experience the emotion without becoming the emotion.Create a Safe ReleaseEmotions carry energy, and that energy often needs somewhere to go.You might: CryJournalTake a walkShake out tensionBreathe slowlyTalk with someone you trust 👉 The goal is not to force the feeling away—it is to let it move.Ask What You NeedOnce the intensity softens, ask:What is this feeling trying to show me?Do I need comfort?A boundary?Rest?Reassurance?A difficult conversation?Your emotions may not always give you instructions, but they often offer important information. 💡 Key Takeaway Feeling your feelings does not mean being controlled by them. It means noticing what is present, naming it honestly, and allowing it to move through you. You do not need to master every emotion overnight. Start small. Pause. Notice. Name. Allow. Release. 👉 The more safely you feel your emotions, the less power they need to use to get your attention. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of finally finding the right word for what you feelA deep breath that helps your body softenThe quiet comfort of letting yourself cryRealizing you can feel something deeply without being consumed by it 💬 Final Thought Your feelings are not here to ruin your day. They are here to be heard. You do not have to run from them. You do not have to fix them. You only have to meet them with honesty and compassion. What you are willing to feel, you can begin to heal. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: How To Feel Your Feelings: A Practical Guide for Beginners

  3. Jul 15

    Encore: Are Expectations Destroying Your Relationships?

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling disappointed by the people you love… like you’re giving more than you’re receiving… like others keep letting you down—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: The pain of unmet expectations is real. And more importantly… letting go of expectations doesn’t mean giving up on your needs. 💭 What This Episode Covers Why expectations quietly create tension in relationshipsThe difference between expectations, needs, and agreementsHow the desire for control affects your happinessWhy unspoken expectations often lead to resentmentHow honest communication strengthens relationships and business partnershipsHow to find more joy in ordinary, present moments 🚨 Why Unmet Expectations Hurt So Much Unspoken RulesWe often expect others to know what we need without clearly telling them.We assume they should remember, notice, understand, or respond in a certain way.👉 Result: They unknowingly break a rule they never knew existed.Expectations Feel Like PromisesWhen you imagine how someone will behave, your mind can begin treating that imagined outcome as a guarantee.When reality unfolds differently, it can feel like something was taken from you.👉 Result: Disappointment feels personal—even when no promise was made.Expectations Create a Sense of ControlExpectations can make life feel predictable.We believe that if people act the way we expect, we will feel safe, loved, respected, or successful.But other people have their own needs, fears, priorities, and perspectives.👉 Result: Your emotional well-being becomes dependent on someone else following your internal plan.We Attach Meaning to the OutcomeA missed gesture can quickly become:“They don’t care about me.”“I’m not important.”“I can’t rely on anyone.”The event hurts—but the meaning we attach to it often hurts even more. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Unmet Expectations When you believe people should behave a certain way, it creates: FrustrationResentmentDisconnectionSelf-doubtEmotional exhaustion You may begin keeping score. You notice every time someone falls short while overlooking the ways they are already showing up. And the worst part? 👉 Expectations can prevent you from experiencing the relationship that is actually in front of you. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger Unexamined expectations can lead you into choices that are based on control rather than connection. Examples: Staying silent while resentment buildsTesting someone instead of telling them what you needExpecting a business partner to understand responsibilities that were never clearly definedWithdrawing affection because someone failed to meet an invisible standardTrying to control the outcome instead of responding to reality 👉 When expectations replace communication, relationships become filled with confusion instead of trust. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to desire respect, consistency, honesty, and care. Releasing expectations does not mean accepting poor treatment. It means recognizing the difference between what you can communicate and what you can control. You can express your needsYou can create clear agreementsYou can set boundariesYou can choose how you respondYou cannot control another person 👉 Peace begins when you stop demanding certainty and start choosing clarity. 🔄 What Disappointment Actually Means Disappointment is not proof that your relationship is doomed. It may be showing you that something needs to be communicated. A boundary may need to be set. An assumption may need to be questioned. An agreement may need to be clarified. Or reality may be asking you to release an outcome that was never yours to control. 👉 Disappointment can become wisdom when you allow it to teach you. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Expectation” Mindset Separate Expectations from AgreementsAsk yourself:Was this clearly discussed?Did the other person agree to it?Or did I assume they would know?Expectations are often private. Agreements are shared.Communicate Before Resentment BuildsSay what you need clearly and kindly.Instead of:“You should have known.”Try:“This is important to me. Can we talk about what would work for both of us?”Honest communication gives the relationship a chance to succeed.Release the Need to Control the ResponseYou can communicate clearly without controlling what happens next.The other person may agree, compromise, say no, or reveal that they cannot meet your need.Their response gives you valuable information.👉 Clarity may not always feel comfortable, but it helps you make aligned choices.Question the Meaning You’re CreatingWhen you feel disappointed, pause before turning the moment into a story.Ask yourself:What actually happened?What am I assuming this means?Is there another possible explanation?Return to the Present MomentExpectations keep your attention focused on how life should be.Presence helps you notice what is already here.Look for the small moments of connection, effort, beauty, and care that might otherwise go unnoticed. 💡 Key Takeaway Expectations are not always wrong. But when they remain unspoken, rigid, or tied to your happiness, they can quietly damage the relationships you care about most. You do not need to stop wanting meaningful things. You simply need to communicate your needs, release what you cannot control, and remain open to what life is actually offering. 👉 Fulfillment grows when you trade silent expectations for honest connection. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode A quiet moment of connection that didn’t need to be plannedThe relief of finally saying what you needFinding joy in an ordinary part of your dayRealizing that a different outcome can still be a meaningful one 💬 Final Thought Life will not always follow the picture you created in your mind. People will surprise you. Plans will change. Some outcomes will disappoint you. But when you release the need for every moment to happen your way, you make room for something deeper: Presence. Honesty. Freedom. And real connection. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Encore: Are Expectations Destroying Your Relationships?

  4. Jul 8

    Encore: The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy

    The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy: Small Shifts That Spark Big SmilesWhat if joy didn’t have to come from huge milestones, perfect circumstances, or a totally redesigned life? In this re-released episode of Five Year You, we’re talking about the simple, everyday ways you can bring more joy, meaning, and positivity into your routine. Because sometimes the smallest shifts — a treat at the end of the day, a cozy morning ritual, a song you love, or a moment of gratitude — can create the biggest emotional lift. This episode is a beautiful reminder that joy is not something you have to wait for. It is something you can intentionally build into your day. In this episode, you’ll learn:How to find daily joy in simple, ordinary momentsWhy having something to look forward to can change the way your day feelsHow small daily rewards can help with motivation and momentumSimple ways to turn mundane tasks into moments of pleasureHow to create positive habits that support personal growth, even in a busy season of life Why this episode mattersSo many people wait for life to calm down before they let themselves feel happy. But joy does not have to be reserved for vacations, weekends, or “someday.” This episode invites you to look at your daily life differently. Instead of trying to overhaul everything, you can start by adding tiny moments that make you smile, feel supported, and reconnect with yourself. Key takeawayJoy is not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it is a small ritual, a favorite coffee, a walk outside, a good song, or a tiny reward that reminds you life can still feel good right now. Ready to go deeper?If you’re ready to create more peace, joy, and alignment in your life, learn more about coaching with us here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching

    Encore: The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy

  5. Jul 1

    Encore: How to Train Your Brain for Optimism - Best Case Scenarios

    Discover an unexpected twist in personal growth that will change the way you see your relationships. Dive into a raw, relatable conversation and learn how a simple shift in mindset can lead to healing and newfound peace. Join Andrew and Kat on their journey towards the best version of themselves, and find out how a seemingly small change can make a monumental difference. Stay tuned for the surprising glimmers that light up their lives. You won't want to miss this. In this episode, you will be able to: Embracing the benefit of the doubt leads to healthier relationships and greater understanding.Cultivating a best case scenario mindset can transform personal growth and lead to unexpected opportunities.Overcoming negative thinking empowers you to navigate life's challenges with resilience and optimism.Practicing self-compassion is crucial for personal development, leading to improved self-esteem and emotional well-being.Handling relationship changes positively fosters growth and strengthens connections in your life.

    Encore: How to Train Your Brain for Optimism - Best Case Scenarios

  6. Jun 24

    Sympathy or Solutions - Re-Release

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling stuck in the same conversations… like you keep venting but nothing is actually changing… like you want comfort, but also know you need movement—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Sympathy can feel good in the moment. And more importantly… solutions are what help you actually move forward. 💭 What This Episode Covers The difference between sympathy and supportWhy being understood is important—but not always enoughHow venting can become a loop instead of a releaseWhy solutions require honesty, ownership, and actionHow to know when you need comfort and when you need a next stepPractical ways to shift from repeating the problem to changing the pattern 🚨 Why We Sometimes Choose Sympathy Over Solutions Sympathy Feels SaferSympathy gives us comfort without requiring immediate change.It lets us feel seen, validated, and understood—which matters. But if we stay there too long, it can become a soft place to hide.👉 Result: You feel emotionally soothed, but your situation stays the same.Solutions Require OwnershipA solution often asks a harder question:What part of this can I influence?What choice is mine now?That can feel uncomfortable because it moves us from talking about the problem to participating in the change.👉 Result: You may resist advice because it asks you to step into your own power.Venting Can Become FamiliarSometimes we tell the same story so many times that it becomes part of who we are.We know the frustration.We know the complaint.We know the role we play in the story.👉 Result: The problem becomes familiar, even when it is painful.Being Validated Can Feel Like ProgressHearing “you’re right” or “that’s so unfair” can feel like movement.But validation is not the same as transformation.It may confirm your feelings, but it does not always change your reality.👉 Result: You feel temporarily better, but not truly freer. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Staying in Sympathy When you keep choosing sympathy without solutions, it creates: frustrationhelplessnessresentmentemotional exhaustiondiscouragement You may feel supported, but still stuck. You may feel understood, but not empowered. You may feel comforted, but not changed. And the worst part? 👉 You can start believing the problem is permanent simply because you have talked about it for so long. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger When you only seek sympathy, you may unconsciously surround yourself with people who help you stay in the same place. Examples: Friends who validate every complaint but never challenge your patternsConversations that repeat the same problem without creating clarityAdvice you dismiss because it feels uncomfortableStaying in victim mode because action feels scaryMistaking emotional agreement for real support 👉 Real support does not just comfort you in the struggle—it helps you rise out of it. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear You deserve compassion. You deserve to be heard. You deserve people who understand your pain. But you also deserve progress. You deserve tools. You deserve clarity. You deserve solutions that help you build a better life. Sympathy says, “That must be hard.” Support says, “That is hard—and you are capable of taking the next step.” 👉 The goal is not to dismiss your feelings. The goal is to honor them without letting them become your stopping point. 🔄 What Wanting Sympathy Actually Means Wanting sympathy does not mean you are weak. It often means you are tired. It means you want someone to witness what you are carrying. It means you need softness before strategy. But once you feel seen, you can begin asking: What now? What next? What is one small thing I can do differently? 👉 Sympathy can be the beginning—but it was never meant to be the whole path. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Sympathy Only” Mindset Ask Yourself What You Actually NeedBefore you start the conversation, pause and ask:Do I need comfort?Do I need advice?Do I need accountability?Do I need a plan?Knowing what you need helps you stop expecting one conversation to do everything.Put a Time Limit on VentingGive yourself space to feel it—but do not live there.Say what hurts.Name what is frustrating.Let yourself be honest.Then gently ask:What is this asking me to change?Look for Your Point of PowerEven if the whole situation is not in your control, something usually is.Your boundary.Your response.Your next choice.Your environment.Your willingness to ask for help.👉 Power returns when you stop focusing only on what others are doing and start noticing what is available to you.Choose People Who Can Hold BothFind people who can validate your feelings and lovingly challenge your patterns.You need people who can say:“That makes sense.”And also:“What are you going to do about it?”Turn the Conversation Into One Next StepBefore you leave the conversation, identify one action.One boundary.One decision.One honest conversation.One small shift.Clarity becomes healing when it turns into movement. 💡 Key Takeaway Sympathy matters. Feeling seen matters. Having your pain acknowledged matters. But sympathy alone will not change your life. At some point, healing asks for action. Growth asks for responsibility. Freedom asks for a next step. 👉 You are allowed to want comfort—but do not forget that you are also capable of change. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of being honest about what you are feelingThe clarity that comes from asking, “What do I need right now?”The strength of choosing one small next stepThe comfort of being supported by people who believe in your growth 💬 Final Thought You do not have to shame yourself for wanting sympathy. Sometimes your heart needs a soft place to land. But once you have landed, remember this: You are not powerless. You are not stuck forever. And the solution may begin with one brave, honest step. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Sympathy or Solutions - Re-Release

  7. Jun 17

    The Power of Contrast - Re-release

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling frustrated by what isn’t working… like the hard moments mean you’re on the wrong path… like life should feel clearer, easier, or more certain—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Contrast is not proof that something has gone wrong. And more importantly… it can help you see exactly what you want next. 💭 What This Episode Covers What contrast really means in your lifeWhy difficult experiences create clarityHow disappointment can reveal your deeper desiresThe difference between resisting discomfort and learning from itWhy you do not need to stay stuck in what you do not wantHow to use contrast as a guide toward a more aligned life 🚨 Why Contrast Feels So Uncomfortable You Think Discomfort Means FailureWhen something feels hard, disappointing, or misaligned, it is easy to assume you made the wrong choice.But discomfort is not always a sign that you failed. Sometimes it is information.👉 Result: You judge the experience instead of listening to what it is teaching you.You Focus on What Is MissingContrast draws attention to the gap between where you are and where you want to be.Without awareness, that gap can feel like proof that you are behind.👉 Result: You become consumed by what is absent instead of noticing what is becoming clear.You Resist the LessonNo one wants to stay in pain longer than necessary.But when you rush to escape discomfort without understanding it, the same patterns can follow you into the next chapter.👉 Result: You change the circumstances without changing the deeper choice.You Expect Clarity Before ExperienceWe often want to know exactly what we want before we begin.But sometimes you only discover your preferences by living through what does not fit.👉 Result: You criticize yourself for not knowing sooner when the experience itself created the knowing. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Resisting Contrast When you believe every difficult experience means something has gone wrong, it creates: shamefrustrationregretimpatienceself-doubt You may replay the past, criticize your choices, or wonder why you did not see things more clearly. And the worst part? 👉 You can become so focused on escaping the moment that you miss the clarity it is offering you. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger When you do not understand the purpose of contrast, you may make reactive choices simply to get away from discomfort. Examples: Leaving one situation only to recreate the same dynamic somewhere elseChoosing the opposite of what hurt you without asking what you truly wantSettling for quick relief instead of lasting alignmentAssuming a painful experience means you cannot trust yourselfStaying stuck in resentment because the lesson feels unfair 👉 Escaping what you do not want is not the same as intentionally choosing what you do want. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear Contrast creates clarity. You learn what peace feels like after experiencing chaos. You recognize respect after being dismissed. You understand alignment after living out of alignment. You appreciate ease after carrying too much. None of this means you needed to suffer. It means your experience can still become useful. 👉 What did not work can help you become more honest about what will. 🔄 What Contrast Actually Means Contrast is not punishment. It is not evidence that you are behind. It is not proof that you cannot trust yourself. Contrast is information. It shows you what feels heavy. It reveals what no longer fits. It helps you define what matters. It invites you to choose again with greater awareness. 👉 The contrast is not the end of your story. It is the beginning of clearer direction. 🛠️ How to Use the Power of Contrast Stop Judging → Start NoticingInstead of immediately labeling the experience as bad, ask:What is this showing me?What feels wrong here?What do I now know I need?Curiosity creates more clarity than criticism.Get Specific About What You WantIt is easy to say, “I do not want this anymore.”Go one step further.What do you want instead?How do you want to feel?What would alignment look like in your daily life?Separate the Lesson from the PainYou do not have to be grateful for every painful experience.But you can choose to take the wisdom without carrying the wound forever.👉 You can honor what you learned without remaining emotionally attached to what hurt you.Make One Aligned ChoiceClarity becomes powerful when it changes your behavior.Set the boundary.Speak the truth.Choose the healthier pattern.Take the next step.Small aligned choices create a very different life.Let Yourself Choose AgainYou are allowed to change your mind when you gain new information.A past decision does not have to become a permanent identity.👉 Growth often looks like choosing differently once you know differently. 💡 Key Takeaway Contrast helps you recognize what matters. It shows you what drains you. It reveals what you value. It makes your desires clearer. You do not have to remain focused on what went wrong. You can use the experience to move toward what feels more honest, peaceful, and aligned. 👉 What you do not want can become the clarity that leads you toward what you do. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The relief of finally understanding why something never felt rightThe moment frustration turns into clarityRealizing you are allowed to choose differently nowFeeling grateful for the wisdom without needing to relive the pain 💬 Final Thought Not every experience will feel good. But every experience can help you know yourself more deeply. Let the contrast clarify you. Let it guide you. Then let yourself move forward without shame. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    The Power of Contrast - Re-release

  8. Jun 10

    Who is Holding You Back? - Re-release

    Ready to go deeper? Work with me here: https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/ If you’ve been feeling stuck… like something—or someone—is keeping you from becoming who you want to be… like you’re waiting for permission to move forward—this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Not everyone will understand the life you are trying to build. And more importantly… you do not need their approval to begin. 💭 What This Episode Covers How to recognize who—or what—is holding you backWhy other people’s fears can quietly become your limitsThe difference between support, concern, and controlHow people-pleasing keeps you disconnected from yourselfWhy you may be waiting for permission that will never comePractical ways to reclaim your choices and move forward 🚨 Why You Feel Held Back You’re Carrying Other People’s FearSometimes the people around you discourage change because your growth feels unfamiliar or threatening to them.Their hesitation may sound like concern, but it can slowly become a voice inside your own head.👉 Result: You begin doubting dreams that once felt clear.You’re Afraid of Disappointing PeopleYou may know what you want, but choosing it could upset someone you love.So you stay small, stay quiet, or keep postponing the decision.👉 Result: You protect other people’s comfort at the expense of your own peace.You’ve Learned to Seek PermissionWhen you are used to looking outside yourself for validation, trusting your own decisions can feel uncomfortable.You wait for someone to agree, approve, or reassure you before taking the next step.👉 Result: Your life remains paused while you wait for permission that may never come.The Person Holding You Back May Be YouSometimes the loudest resistance is internal.Fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, and old beliefs can stop you before anyone else gets the chance.👉 Result: You mistake familiar limitations for reality. 😞 The Emotional Cost of Feeling Held Back When you believe you cannot move forward without someone else’s approval, it creates: resentmentfrustrationhelplessnessself-doubtdisconnection from your own desires You may start blaming the people around you while quietly abandoning yourself. And the worst part? 👉 The longer you ignore your truth, the harder it becomes to hear it. ⚠️ The Hidden Danger When you allow fear, guilt, or outside opinions to lead your life, you can make choices that look safe but feel deeply misaligned. Examples: Staying in a relationship because leaving might disappoint someoneRemaining in a job because others think it is “secure”Hiding a dream because people may not understand itSaying yes when your whole body is asking you to say noWaiting until everyone is comfortable before you change 👉 A life built around avoiding disappointment will eventually disappoint you. 🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear You are allowed to change. You are allowed to want something different. You are allowed to outgrow old roles, expectations, and relationships. You are not responsible for making everyone comfortable with your choices. And you do not need unanimous support to trust yourself. 👉 The people who love you may need time to understand your growth—but you do not have to stop growing while they catch up. 🔄 What Resistance Actually Means Feeling resistance does not always mean you are making the wrong choice. Sometimes it means you are leaving a familiar version of yourself behind. Sometimes it means you are finally questioning rules you never consciously chose. Sometimes it means you are standing at the edge of a life that requires more courage, honesty, and self-trust. 👉 Resistance may not be a stop sign. It may be proof that you are moving. 🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Held Back” Mindset Name the VoiceWhen doubt appears, ask yourself:Is this fear actually mine?Or am I repeating something someone else taught me to believe?Separating your voice from everyone else’s is the first step toward clarity.Stop Asking for Permission → Start Asking for TruthInstead of asking, “Will everyone approve?” ask:What do I genuinely want?What choice feels honest?What would I do if I trusted myself?Notice Where You Are Giving Away Your PowerPay attention to the places where you regularly say:“I can’t because they…”“They won’t let me…”“They’ll be upset if…”You may not control their reaction, but you can choose your response.Set a Small BoundaryYou do not have to transform your entire life overnight.Start with one honest conversation.One clear no.One decision made without overexplaining.👉 Every boundary strengthens your relationship with yourself.Take the Next Brave StepYou do not need the whole plan.You only need the next decision that moves you closer to the person you want to become.Courage grows through action—not endless preparation. 💡 Key Takeaway The person holding you back may be someone you love. It may be an old belief. It may be fear. It may even be you. But recognizing what is keeping you stuck gives you the power to choose differently. You are not powerless. You are not trapped. You are allowed to move. 👉 Your life begins to change when you stop waiting for permission and start trusting your own direction. ✨ Glimmers from This Episode The quiet relief of admitting what you truly wantThe strength that comes from saying one honest noRealizing another person’s fear does not have to become your futureTaking one small step toward a life that feels like your own 💬 Final Thought You do not have to fight everyone to choose yourself. You simply have to stop abandoning your truth to keep the peace. The next version of your life may require courage—but it does not require permission. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

    Who is Holding You Back? - Re-release
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5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Welcome to "Five Year You," the podcast that takes you on a transformative journey toward your future self. Join us as we explore the power of self-improvement, tackling challenges, setting goals, and unleashing the potential within you. Our conversations are raw, real, and relatable, offering practical tips and insights to empower you in your growth. Each episode offers useful tips to help you become the person you aspire to be. Tune in, invest in yourself, and let's embark on this adventure together! Get ready for a unique and personal exploration of the honest and relatable moments that will shape the next chapter of your story. In each episode, we dive into the day-to-day experiences that make up the mosaic of your life over the next five years. From the small victories to the inevitable challenges, "Five Year You" captures the essence of the ordinary and extraordinary moments that contribute to your personal growth. Our tagline, "Raw, Real, Relatable," perfectly encapsulates the authenticity of the stories we share. No glossy highlights, just the unfiltered reality of navigating the twists and turns of everyday life. Join us as we connect with individuals from various walks of life who openly share their aspirations, setbacks, and the unexpected surprises that come with each passing day. Whether you're facing career crossroads, building relationships, or discovering new passions, "Five Year You" is here to provide a real-time reflection on the shared human experience. Tune in for a daily dose of inspiration, motivation, and a reminder that you're not alone on this journey.

Information

  • Creator
    Andrew Dewar and Catherine Collins
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    132
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    ©Five Year You
  • Show Website
    Five Year You