501 episodes

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Freedom from Attachment Tracy Crossley

    • Education
    • 4.8 • 264 Ratings

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

    When Your Whole World Goes to S**T, What Do You Do?

    When Your Whole World Goes to S**T, What Do You Do?

    You find out your partner is cheating the same day your bathroom floods. Then you call your friend on the way to the hardware store and get rear ended. We’ve all had days like that (ok, maybe not exactly like that!), but those days or series of days where the world feels like it’s conspiring against you. And of course, the first question you ask is WHY? What did you do to deserve this? It feels like your life is falling apart before your eyes. We like to believe that if we’re good girls and boys, life will go our way. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work. Sometimes the s**t hits the fan. Not because you’re bad, but because life does life.

    I have been challenged with this lately with my husband in the hospital. I can control my thoughts, my actions, my feelings and my words, but I can’t control life. I can’t pick and choose the outcomes I want. In this week’s episode we’ll talk about that desire for control and letting go of it. How to look at what you’re holding onto and why. How to be emotionally present and process your feelings instead of avoiding them. Because you still have choices, even when it feels like life has turned its back on you. Maybe the way forward is different than you thought, but you can absolutely keep on truckin’.

    • 24 min
    Are My Thoughts Creating My Reality? If So, My Love Life Might Be Screwed! (REBROADCAST)

    Are My Thoughts Creating My Reality? If So, My Love Life Might Be Screwed! (REBROADCAST)

    You have probably heard some version of “what you think, you create.” Meaning your thoughts create your reality. If your love life feels like a train wreck (or any part of your life, really), this can be a scary idea. Are you creating the situation you don’t want by ruminating on negative thoughts? By constantly thinking there are no “good ones” out there, are you actually making it true? Well… yes and no. Thoughts play a role, but they are not the only factor.

    Trying to simply stop the thoughts or replace them with positive affirmations doesn’t make them go away. It runs much deeper than that. In this week’s podcast we’ll talk about everything that exists between thoughts and actions, and where to focus if you want to change your situation. Believing your reality is only caused by your thoughts is limiting and untrue. If you want to change what isn’t working, you need to look at your emotions, beliefs, motivation, words and actions that stem from your thoughts. The good news is if you do this, you absolutely can change your life!

    WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)
    Don’t worry about what you think. Pay attention to your feelings, actions and motivation because THAT is creating your life.

    • 29 min
    3 Steps To Loving Yourself; You're Not a Project (REBROADCAST)

    3 Steps To Loving Yourself; You're Not a Project (REBROADCAST)

    Did you grow up feeling you were too much, not enough, too nice, too cold, too sensitive, too shy, too annoying, too inquisitive or too ANYTHING? Basically, instead of being loved for your whole self, did you feel like you were simply tolerated? Maybe you wondered, throughout your life, if people even liked being around you because those too much/not enough beliefs were always with you. So, to move from tolerance to love, you worked hard to prove yourself worthy of someone else’s company. And did those people (intimate partners, friends, family members, etc.) treasure you for the wonderful human you are? Probably not. Why? Because you didn’t treasure you.

    Self-love isn’t simply about spa visits, eating healthy, working out or treating yourself to a new outfit. It is attention, connection and awareness to yourself. And you cultivate it by slowing down, feeling your feelings and choosing what makes you happy. When you love yourself, you have compassion for who you are, what you are and why you are. And that is where true love with someone else begins… because love from another person won’t feel good unless you feel it for yourself first. In this week’s podcast I’ll share three questions to ask yourself to shift from external “give-it-to-me” love to true self-love. You deserve more, but to get it, you have to step up and show yourself some love.

    WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)
    Self-love comes from all the in-between moments not the pinnacles!

    Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

    Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

    • 27 min
    Stop Performing. You Have Value Because You Breathe! (Yes, You Do.)

    Stop Performing. You Have Value Because You Breathe! (Yes, You Do.)

    What do you want from me? What do you need from me? How can I make your life easier (while draining myself)? If these questions, or some version of them, come out of your mouth frequently, your value probably comes from what you do, not who you are. Throw insecure attachment into the mix and you can become over-the-top nutty in what you’ll do to receive validation that you’re okay. And that need can feel like trudging uphill backwards, especially if it seems like someone always gets more than you. Like there are only so many pieces of validation pie and you have to fight for your slice.

    But what if you didn’t have to perform like a circus seal, and could feel valued simply for breathing? How weird would THAT be? In this week’s episode we’ll explore why you overperform and when it started (yep, probably childhood). Where did that urge to be “extra” come from, and when did it become your default setting? Then I’ll challenge you NOT to perform and sit with those feelings. Patterns are hard to break because the feelings are so uncomfortable, but if you can sit through them and see that you don’t die, you’ll be able to do it again. And again. Because the belief you don’t have value is simply untrue. It just became a pattern that needs to be broken.

    • 23 min
    Help! I’m Dating an Avoidant! (REBROADCAST)

    Help! I’m Dating an Avoidant! (REBROADCAST)

    Are you in a relationship or dating someone who’s more robot than human; someone who intellectualizes everything and doesn’t show any warmth? Or what about someone who makes big promises all the time and never, ever follows through? Or maybe you’re with someone who appears and disappears without warning, pretending it’s normal, making you think YOU are the crazy one? These are signs of an Avoidant relationship. If you find yourself in one, you have to ask yourself… why are you there? Is it because you mistake those butterfly feelings for real love?

    Those feelings actually stem from a fear of abandonment. You’re trying to get the other person to cooperate with you and see your value, fearing they will leave you at any moment. It’s chemistry mixed with anxiety. There is also zero consistency in these relationships. So if you’re in a situation like this, realize it’s not healthy and look at how you got here. You made the choice to be with an Avoidant… which means you are also an Avoidant. Or an Anxious Avoidant. Securely attached people do not, I repeat do NOT, engage with people like this. Nobody who loves and accepts themself will put up with someone who is inconsistent and won’t emotionally commit. Period. In this episode I’ll show you how to identify what blocks you from giving to yourself and showing yourself love. Because this lack of self-love is what leads you to seek it from people who are unable to give it.

    Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

    Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

    Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

    • 42 min
    Secrets and How They Kill Relationships and Your Self-Esteem (REBROADCAST)

    Secrets and How They Kill Relationships and Your Self-Esteem (REBROADCAST)

    Are you living with secrets? Maybe you're hiding your shopping receipts from your husband, or maybe you're leaving out parts of your stories because you fear the repercussions. In some cases, you might not even be aware that you're withholding information from your significant other.

    All these secrets stem from one ultimate truth: you're afraid of change.

    You can't be 100% committed to someone if you're still hiding parts of your life. Keeping secrets may save you from ever having to change, but it also keeps you from experiencing a happy, healthy relationship. If you're ready to be courageous and leave secrets behind, listen to today's podcast episode.

    • 32 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
264 Ratings

264 Ratings

Tamarab1980 ,

Awesome Straightforward Perspective

This podcast frames attachment theory in a down to earth, practical, easy to process manner that really helps. I have read attachment books before and gone to individual and couples therapy but Tracey has a way of helping it “click”. My wife and I have been stuck in an avoidant/anxious avoidant cycle for 8 years and didn’t realize it until we came across Tracey’s generous podcast and online materials. We were both impressed and had this “ah-ha” moment that Tracey had captured the essence of our issues so well. Now that we understand what is going on we have a lot of hope and guidance about how we can break this generational pattern. Thank you Tracey!

Shan&Fiona ,

Journey of Attachment

It will change your life ❤️

AriaG108 ,

Wow

Just found this & wow!! It’s helping me understand so much about my anxious-avoidant attachment style. THANK YOU!

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