Gentle Power

Gerta and Alex at YourNegotiations.com
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Join Gerta Malaj & Alex Choi break down our negotiation strategies, unpack real-world success stories, and share practical tactics alongside conversations with leading experts. As cofounders of YourNegotiations.com, they help execs, mid-careers, and founders negotiate job offers and business deals. They're Harvard, MIT, and Wharton alums who have helped hundreds of clients increase their comp packages by an average of $100K, with some seeing increases up to $1.7M. Their backgrounds span tech (LinkedIn, Meta), the US Air Force, venture capital, and building venture-backed companies.

  1. 57. Heiress to refugee camps: Germany's Paris Hilton on building community & negotiating identity | Paula Schwarz

    APR 29

    57. Heiress to refugee camps: Germany's Paris Hilton on building community & negotiating identity | Paula Schwarz

    Paula Schwarz grew up as part of the Schwarz Pharma family, one of the largest pharmaceutical dynasties in Germany. She walked us through her background that led to her leaving all of that behind, spending years running technology platforms in refugee camps on the Greek island of Samos, building a co-living home network called Angel House now spanning Greece and San Francisco, and making the final round of the Miss Germany competition. She's also building MaharCar, a rideshare platform for refugees she originally launched with Uber's support, and MayaCode, an AI agent that helps refugees and government workers navigate bureaucratic forms in 300 languages. This episode covers: • Why knowing your priorities is the actual starting point of any negotiation • How to sequence your asks: in the first meeting, sell the next step in the conversation, not the final ask • Understanding what's in it for the other side, and leading with that instead • Why women often negotiate better for others than for themselves, and how to make use of that as a woman • Staying true to your values when the system keeps rewarding different behavior Learn more about Paula and her work: • Website: https://www.paula-schwarz.com • MaharCar (rideshare for vulnerable populations): https://marhacar.org For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    1h 8m
  2. 56. How to negotiate when you think you have no leverage | Priyanka Upadhyay

    APR 26

    56. How to negotiate when you think you have no leverage | Priyanka Upadhyay

    Priyanka Upadhyay, aka Coach Pri, spent 18 years in tech (Google, Salesforce, ServiceNow) before founding Product With Pri, a coaching and training business for product managers navigating job searches, transitions, and high-stakes career conversations. She's also an ICF-certified coach who's taught PM programs at Stanford and Product School, and now runs intimate small group cohorts for PMs looking to level up in their careers. In this episode, we got into the negotiation mindset traps that costs product managers money, why companies aren't actually optimizing for the cheapest hire, and how Pri negotiated her way through various situations in her life, from a grade dispute when she was attending Columbia Business School and a divorce mediation. Our conversation touches on the immigrant experience, the psychology of leverage, the importance of knowing what you're actually negotiating for, and the role of creative thinking when you think you have no options. • Why negotiation is underrated, and why most candidates don't use the support they already have • The "beggars can't be choosers" mindset and how exhaustion from a long job search quietly erodes your leverage • Why companies aren't optimizing for the cheapest hire, and what signaling strong self-advocacy actually communicates • Information gathering as the core of negotiation: understanding urgency, goals, and what the other side needs before you make any ask • Showing enthusiasm alongside your ask, and why that positioning matters for both top-choice and backup candidates• Getting clear on what you're actually negotiating for (base, flexibility, speed, impact) and why that has to come first Connect with Coach Pri: • Pri’s website: https://www.coachpri.com • PM Skills Quiz - https://www.coachpri.com/pm-quiz • Pri’s newsletter: https://productwithpri.beehiiv.com (for experienced PMs who want to grow their career & amplify their impact) • Book free 15-min career strategy session with Coach Pri: https://www.coachpri.com/career-brainstorm-call For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    1h 2m

  3. APR 17

    55. A former intelligence officer on power & negotiations | Jim Lose

    Jim Lose is a Marine Corps veteran and the CEO of The Military Veteran, a firm that places veteran executives into high-growth companies. Before moving into recruiting, Jim was a Marine Corps intelligence officer, including a tour at the Pentagon where, at 25, he regularly briefed the Commandant of the Marine Corps and had authorization to contact the White House Situation Room. After the military, Jim spent over 20 years in executive search, placing thousands of veterans transitioning into the private sector into corporate roles. In this episode, Jim joins Alex and Gerta to talk about what the military gives and takes away from you when it's time to negotiate your next career move, why veterans tend to undersell themselves, and what's actually happening behind the scenes when a recruiter facilitates your offer conversation with a prospective employer. • Why veterans struggle to advocate for themselves, and why military culture is specifically designed to work against you in compensation conversations • How the public pay structure of the military leaves veterans without the instincts to price themselves in the private sector • Jim's approach to coaching candidates: interview widely first, get selective when offers are in hand • What's actually happening when a recruiter asks how you'd feel if the offer disappeared • Gentle power in practice: how to signal competing options without damaging the relationship Connect with Jim Lose on LinkedIn, and learn more about this work here: • https://www.linkedin.com/in/jameslose • https://www.themilvet.org For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    1 hr

  4. APR 11

    54. Don’t memorize negotiation lines and scripts, here’s why.

    This week, Alex and Gerta react live to a short viral video from Alex Hormozi about a discount negotiation tactic. No guest, just the two of them watching the clip and breaking it down in real time. This episode is honest, funny (Alex shares his most embarrassing moment), and gets into something that comes up a lot in our negotiation work: why memorized tactics tend to backfire when it actually matters. Here's what the episode covers: • The Hormozi tactic itself: responding to a discount request, “can you do it for less” with "I could do it for more," and the anchoring logic behind it • The hidden assumption in the clip that quietly undermines the whole tactic• Why short-form negotiation advice tends to reward gimmicks over judgment • How memorizing scripts makes you less present, and why that costs you in live negotiations • What Alex and Gerta actually coach clients to do instead: principles with real logic, not lines to recite • Alex's mortifying elevator pitch story from college that illustrates all of this perfectly For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    17 min

  5. APR 4

    53. Let people ask 3 times before you take it more seriously | Tallulah Le Merle

    Tallulah Le Merle spent nearly seven years negotiating deals as a management consultant at Kearney, worked as a fractional COO and advisor for AI scale-ups, and is now a partner at Fifth Era, a conscious-tech investment firm. She's also a writer and speaker working on her upcoming book, The Case for Hope in the Age of AI. And she has a lot to say about negotiations. In this episode, we get into how power reads differently across cultures, why authenticity isn't just an ethical position but a tactical one, the StrengthsFinder concept of WOO (Winning Others Over) and what it actually looks like in practice, and how to hold your ground without turning a negotiation into a standoff. • How British and American corporate cultures handle power differently, and what that means for how you negotiate depending on the culture • WOO (Winning Others Over) as a negotiation skill: reading the other side, mirroring their language, and walking into their world instead of asking them to come to yours • The Rule of Three in consulting: why letting a client ask multiple times before treating it as a real ask protects both the relationship and the scope • Why lying about competing offers backfires, and what authenticity actually buys you at the table• The difference between being firm and being rigid, and how the clearest negotiators are often the calmest ones • Why vulnerability is a marker of power, not weakness, whether you're negotiating a salary or a relationship Connect with Tallulah Le Merle: https://www.tallulahlemerle.com For more: • Book free consultation call with us: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    1h 6m

  6. MAR 27

    52. She turned a no into $50K. Here’s how. | Surina Diddi

    In this episode, we invited Surina Diddi, who spent nearly a decade in finance, from equity research at UBS to investment banking at Lazard and Scotiabank to private equity in the renewable energy and energy storage space. We talk through Surina’s experience negotiating an additional $50K on top of her MBA scholarship at Chicago Booth School of Business. We get into how scholarship pools actually work, why the admissions officer relationship matters more than most people realize, and how she used a real job offer pipeline as leverage. We also talk about what she'd do differently: applying earlier and to more schools. We Cover: • How MBA scholarship funds are actually allocated and who controls them • Why pitching your credentials alone isn't enough, and what actually moved the needle • The role of persistence after a flat no • How a real job offer pipeline became negotiation leverage against a business school • Why Surina deliberately avoided naming a specific dollar amount • The Forte Foundation and other pre-MBA fellowship programs worth knowing about Connect with Surina Diddi: https://www.linkedin.com/in/surina-diddi-28824219 • Over many years, Surina has mentored lots of people pursuing careers in finance and admission to top MBA programs, often helping them secure scholarships. Feel free to reach out to her on LinkedIn if you think she can support you. For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    50 min

  7. MAR 21

    51. Visualization & the DREAMS framework in negotiations

    What if negotiation isn’t just about tactics, scripts, and numbers? In this episode, we sit down with Julia Martin and Melanie Bettis to explore the intersection most people ignore: mindset and strategy. Julia comes from the world of manifestation and intentionality. Melanie brings deep experience in job search strategy, interviewing, and salary negotiation. Together, they make a compelling case for something we’ve seen with our own clients: It’s rarely just tactics or mindset. It’s both. We get into how your internal state shapes negotiation outcomes, why most people start negotiating too late, and how to expand what you believe is possible when the numbers feel out of reach. If you found this helpful, share it with someone who’s about to negotiate an offer or make a big career move. What we cover • The question Julia uses to shift into a confident mindset • Why negotiation actually starts before the interview • How recruiters use early salary questions to anchor you • The “ladder of believability” and how to ask for more than you’ve ever made • How to identify and reframe limiting beliefs before a negotiation • Why visualization is used by athletes, the military, and top performers • How to mentally rehearse a negotiation or interview • Why likability and genuine curiosity create leverage • The small language shifts that make negotiation collaborative • What most people misunderstand about persistence in negotiation Key ideas from the episode 1. Visualization is practical, not just abstract. From athletes to military training, mental rehearsal is used to improve performance. The same applies to interviews and compensation conversations. 2. Negotiation starts earlier than you think. That “casual” salary question from a recruiter is not casual. It’s part of the negotiation. 3. Most people are anchored to their past. If you’ve been making a certain number for years, it can feel uncomfortable to ask for a lot more. The solution is expanding belief step by step, not forcing it all at once. 4. Your internal stories shape your outcomes. Limiting beliefs often drive hesitation in negotiations. Writing them down and reframing them can change how you show up. 5. Likability is a real advantage. “Be interested to be interesting.” Genuine connection makes people more willing to advocate for you. 6. Ask, then follow up thoughtfully/ Negotiation is not about being aggressive. It’s about being clear, collaborative, and persistent when it matters. Learn more about Julia and Melanie’s work: https://wearedreambuilders.com For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: ⁠https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: ⁠https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    1 hr

  8. MAR 12

    50. ⁠The moment a negotiation stops being rational | Sam Liu

    In this episode of Gentle Power, we talk with Sam Liu, founder of AI startup Fergana Labs and former Stanford PhD student in decision making. We originally invited Sam on because we love both PhD dropouts and decision making science. What we didn’t expect was how many of his insights about negotiation had less to do with neat frameworks and more to do with how messy real decisions actually are. Our conversation spans startup risk, taxi negotiations in Thailand, poker, game theory, and the emotional tension at the center of many negotiations.Sam shares why many big life decisions build quietly over time before becoming obvious all at once, why many career risks are actually social risks, and why the hardest part of negotiating is often simply holding your ground while the other side reacts. We also discuss when negotiations truly become zero sum, why conviction can shape outcomes more than benchmarks, and what game theory teaches us about long term relationships and cooperation. Learn more about Sam and his company here: • Sam's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samzliu • Fergana Labs website: https://ferganalabs.com For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: ⁠https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: ⁠https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

    55 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Join Gerta Malaj & Alex Choi break down our negotiation strategies, unpack real-world success stories, and share practical tactics alongside conversations with leading experts. As cofounders of YourNegotiations.com, they help execs, mid-careers, and founders negotiate job offers and business deals. They're Harvard, MIT, and Wharton alums who have helped hundreds of clients increase their comp packages by an average of $100K, with some seeing increases up to $1.7M. Their backgrounds span tech (LinkedIn, Meta), the US Air Force, venture capital, and building venture-backed companies.

Information

  • Creator
    Gerta and Alex at YourNegotiations.com
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    58
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Gerta and Alex at YourNegotiations.com
  • Show Website
    Gentle Power

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