Getting a Lift: Studio Sessions with Mhairi Murray - Powered by Cosmedicare St. Ellen’s Private Hospitals This episode contains detailed discussion of stillbirth, pregnancy loss, medical procedures, grief, and the emotional impact of losing a baby. Some listeners may find this content deeply distressing or activating. Please take care of yourself while listening. If you are currently pregnant, have experienced loss, or feel vulnerable to these themes, you may choose to skip this episode or listen with support. If you need help or someone to talk to, please reach out to your local support services, bereavement charities, or a trusted healthcare professional. A deeply emotional and courageous conversation, this episode follows Nicola’s heartbreaking journey through stillbirth, grief, and healing. After a decade-long fertility struggle and a miracle pregnancy, Nicola shares the devastating loss of her baby boy at 23 weeks—and the strength it took to navigate unimaginable decisions. Through raw honesty, she opens up about instinct, motherhood, and the realities no one prepares you for - from hospital experiences to challenging systems around bereavement care and parental rights. Most importantly, Nicola highlights the power of choice, urging parents to advocate for themselves during loss. This episode is both heartbreaking and empowering—offering awareness, comfort, and crucial insight for anyone impacted by grief, pregnancy loss, or navigating the unknown in healthcare and bereavement. Follow Nicola: @comestylewithus on Instagram and @nikib1985 on TikTok Follow Mhairi: @the_misfit_maw on Instagram & TikTok Key Highlights * 💔 Nicola’s powerful story of loss after a surprise second pregnancy * 👶 The reality of stillbirth at 23 weeks and what happens next * 🏥 Hospital experiences, labour, and saying goodbye * ⚖️ The shocking legal gap before 24 weeks (no birth/death certificate, limited rights) * ❗ Challenging misinformation around seeing a baby after post-mortem * 🧠 Grief, identity, and the emotional aftermath of loss * 💪 Why choice, awareness, and advocacy matter for parents * 🌱 Finding strength, healing, and purpose in sharing her story Key Highlights/Chapters 00:37 – Nicola Returns to the Podcast Reintroducing Nicola and reflecting on her previous appearance in 2024. 01:23 – A 10Year Journey to Ollie Nicola shares her long struggle to conceive her son Ollie. 01:59 – A Second Unexpected Pregnancy The shock, disbelief, and emotional adjustment of discovering she was pregnant again. 03:47 – The Day Everything Changed Nicola describes waking up feeling different and noticing changes in movement. 07:39 – Preparing for Baby… Then Heartbreak From cleaning the pram to the devastating news that followed. 08:43 – Calling Triage The moment Nicola phoned triage and was told to come in immediately. 09:02 – At the Hospital: No Heartbeat Found The Doppler, the scan, the long wait, and the moment she knew. 13:47 – Entering the Bereavement Suite Nicola and Paul spend their first night in the bereavement suite. 14:01 – Telling Her Family The emotional phone calls, including telling her mum who had experienced a stillbirth. 18:45 – Going Home Before Labour Why Nicola chose to go home for 48 hours before returning to deliver her baby. 21:00 – Induction Begins The medication, rising temperature, suspected sepsis, and the physical challenges. 23:30 – Finding Moments of Laughter Unexpected humour and connection during labour. 25:40 – Labour Intensifies Contractions become stronger and closer together. 26:13 – Birth of Her Son Nicola describes the moment her baby was born in his sac. 26:32 – Meeting Him for the First Time Holding him, feeling his warmth, and the numbness that followed. 27:55 – Photos, MemoryMaking & Dressing Him The hospital’s support with photos, outfits, and keepsakes. 28:14 – Staying With Him Until Friday Nicola explains why she stayed with him the entire time. 30:00 – Choosing His Clothes & Keepsakes Ordering microprem outfits and preparing to dress him herself. 32:00 – Navigating the Practicalities of Loss Discussions about funerals, decisions, and the surreal logistics. 35:00 – Support From Midwives & Staff How the bereavement team guided Nicola through each step. 38:00 – Processing the Shock Nicola reflects on the emotional numbness and delayed grief. 41:00 – Paul’s Experience & Anger A raw conversation about his emotions, anger, and confusion. 44:00 – The Reality of Stillbirth at This Gestation Discussing misconceptions about “safe” pregnancy milestones. 47:00 – The Importance of Mother’s Instinct Nicola reflects on the feeling that something wasn’t right. 50:00 – Why She Chose to Share Her Story The vulnerability of posting her pregnancy reaction video and the aftermath. 53:00 – Honouring Her Baby’s Memory How she plans to keep his memory alive. 56:00 – Advice for Other Parents Nicola shares what she wishes others knew about stillbirth and grief. 59:00 – Closing Reflections Final thoughts on love, loss, resilience, and the importance of talking openly. Powered by Cosmedicare: https://cosmedicare.uk/ Female Owned and Managed Private Hospitals Based in Scotland, Cosmedicare is committed to delivering a patient-first experience. Their management team brings a unique, empathetic perspective to healthcare, ensuring every patient feels supported and cared for. Produced in partnership with Go Studios by Go Radio.
