Grappling with the Gray

Yonason Goldson
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Are you ethical?  Join Rabbi Yonason Goldson and his panel of thinkers as they grapple with a new ethical challenge each week. Only by contemplating all sides and every angle can we improve ethical decision-making, build more trusting relationships, and help create a more ethical world.

  1. MAR 4

    Grappling with the Gray #139: Pilot vs. Passenger?

    Can we use "the greater good" as an excuse to exempt ourselves from personal responsibility? That's the question that drives the conversation when Sam Ardery, Shannon Lee, and David Marlow join me to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic: An Alaska Airlines customer reported buying a first class ticket from Costa Rica to Seattle, an 8-hour international flight. Upon arriving at the gate, they were informed that they were being bumped down to economy class to make way for two pilots who were traveling to make a connecting flight. After the customer had paid for first class, the airline not only took away the seat but also the passenger’s breakfast, then failed to offer even a drink or a special snack. The anticipated luxury flight turned into a cramped, hungry ordeal. Apparently, a pilot shortage has compelled airlines to offer pilots the perk of first class travel when they “deadhead” to make connecting flights. But does that justify refusing passengers the seats they’ve paid for to solve their own logistics and personnel problems? And if it does, do the airlines have a responsibility to do more to offset the passenger’s inconvenience? Meet this week’s panel: Sam Ardery is a national mediator, trial lawyer, consultant, speaker, and author. He teaches negotiation at Indiana University’s Maurer School of Law and is author of Positively Conflicted: Engaging with Courage, Compassion and Wisdom in a Combative World. Shannon Lee is a CEO coaching chair with Vistage Worldwide, Inc. She works with organizations and executive teams to improve execution by defining, measuring, and standardizing the leadership behaviors required for businesses to perform well. David Marlow, aka the Ikigai Guy and the Versatile Guru, is a coach, speaker, and author who helps people live into their purpose and helps companies bring their purpose to their products and their people.

    46 min

  2. FEB 25

    Grappling with the Gray #138: Is too much attention obscuring who we are?

    Are we overdue for reexamining the benefits of modesty? That's the question that drives the conversation when JC Glick, Brian Reisman, and • Sue Tinnish, PhD join the ethics panel to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic: A study published in the journal Human Brain Mapping suggests a variety of benefits that accompany modest behavior. These include better acceptance of constructive criticism and superior regulation of emotions. Modest people tend to be less self-centered and less emotionally vulnerable to rejection.  Researchers found that people who are intellectually humble have less need to be right all the time, which makes them better at examining evidence and evaluating which argument is strongest.  Although the study did not address traditional modesty as relates to dress, the discarding of social mores had arguably contributed to the hyper-sexualization of modern society, leading to distorted perceptions, harmful stereotypes, and objectification, especially among women and girls. Social media has accelerated the cultural trend toward self-adulation, and common perceptions defining success in terms of fame, wealth, and power add fuel to the fire. Have we created a mindset that makes us more insecure, more dogmatic, and more resistant to the notion of personal growth? Is it true that we have to play the game to gain the recognition we need to compete? If so, is our desire for success increasing toxicity in our families, our communities, and our workplaces? If so, what can we do about it?  Meet this week’s panel: JC Glick is a retired Army Ranger Lieutenant Colonel. He is a leadership, strategy, and culture advisor, as well as CEO of the Commit Foundation, an organization that helps high-performance veterans find their next adventure. Brian Reisman is a software engineer and tech maven. He is also a professional speaker who works with leaders to promote a culture of trust and trustworthiness in work and life. Sue Tinnish is an executive coach, employing a unique blend of soft skills and technical knowledge, as well as a Peer Leaders Group Chair with Vistage Worldwide, Inc. #ethics  #leadership  #integrity  #accountability  #culture

    54 min

  3. FEB 11

    Grappling with the Gray #137: Can we escape the cult of partisanship?

    Has political ideology crossed the line into cult mentality? That's the question that drives the conversation when special guest Daniella Mestyanek Young joins me for this week's episode of Grappling with the Gray. Here is our topic: After the September 10 assassination of Charlie Kirk, reports filled the headlines of tweets and posts celebrating his murder. One teacher in Pennsylvania allegedly shared a post on social media calling Kirk a "racist, xenophobic, transphobic, islamophobic, sexist, white nationalist mouthpiece."  Days later, a Brazilian comedian wrote that Kirk had "died too late" and said that he "was the reason for a Nazi demonstration where they marched in tribute to him. Good riddance!" These and similar comments were widely condemned, especially by conservative Republicans. Three months later, President Donald Trump responded to the murder of Rob Reiner, calling him “deranged,” “very bad for our country,” and suggesting that his death was "reportedly due to the anger he caused others" by his "raging obsession" with Trump. Far more Democrats than Republicans took exception to his words. Is this an example of cult mentality in American politics? Donald Trump was not the first to employ extremist rhetoric, but he has certainly accelerated its normalization. If we can’t agree on the need for civil discourse, how can we possibly work together to maintain a functioning society? How does cult mentality encourage and justify this kind of behavior, as well as the double standards that make it acceptable in the minds of each side even as they condemn it from the other? And what can we do about it? Meet this episode’s special guest: Daniella Mestyanek Young is a US army combat veteran, Harvard scholar, TEDx speaker, and bestselling author. Her new book, The Culting of America, examines how cult tactics have quietly infiltrated American life, especially politics, and why they are so effective at keeping followers in line even when leaders disregard their own principles and values.

    1h 4m

  4. JAN 28

    Grappling with the Gray #136: Jumping to conclusions without a net?

    Have you ever been the victim of mistaken identity? That's the question that drives the conversation when Kelly Paxton - Pink Collar Crime Expert, Annette Taylor, and Tamsen Webster, MA, MBA join the ethics panel to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic: A recent post recounted the following story: A delivery driver was exiting an upscale Boston hotel, when the driver of a Porsche mistook him for the valet, tossed him his keys, and said, “Keep it close, I’ll only be 10 or 15 minutes!” The delivery guy calmly caught the keys, took the car for a short joy ride, then left it in the middle of the intersection with the door wide open and the engine running. Comments on the post celebrated the story, and several readers shared stories of their own.  In a similar situation, one mis-occupationed valet parked the car in a tow-away zone. In another case, the purported valet simply drove off, reasoning that “if you gave me your keys, now it’s my ride.” Are any of these responses justified? How much license do we have when obnoxious individuals literally invite us to put them in their place? We do love vigilante stories. It’s such fun to root for mavericks who restore justice when the system fails. But are we making things worse for ourselves and for society by fighting fire with fire? Meet the panel: Kelly Paxton is a Certified Fraud Examiner, former Private Investigator, Professional Speaker, Podcast Host, and author of Embezzlement: How to Prevent, Detect and Investigate Pink-Collar Crime. Annette Taylor is a researcher of evolutionary psychology and biology.  Her website, Cavedweller Club, offers guidance and insights on how we can better understand the way our own hardwiring influences unconscious bias and decision making. Tamsen Webster is a keynote speaker, message strategist, and “Idea Whisperer.” She uses her proprietary Red Thread method to help audiences, organizations, and individuals build and tell their stories to promote real, transformative change. #ethics #culture #accountability #mindset

    55 min

  5. 12/31/2025

    Grappling with the Gray #135: Waging lawfare to defend warfare?

    Is exaggeration just another synonym for lying? That the question that drives the conversation when Jennifer H. Elder, CSP, CPA, JC Glick, and ☘️Mark O'Brien join the ethics panel to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic: Speaking truth to power is one of the foundational principles of any society built on ethics and the rule of law. Senator Mark Kelly claims that’s what he was doing when he joined five other lawmakers urging service members to refuse illegal orders from their superiors, alluding to military strikes against cartel drug runners. Writing for National Review, Andrew McCarthy argues convincingly that, while Senator Kelly is not guilty of sedition (of which he has been accused), his message was ill-advised and wrongheaded. Without getting into the weeds of legal definitions, we might frame the issue as politicizing the military vs. weaponizing the justice system. Senator Kelly’s message threatens to disrupt military efficiency by undermining the chain of command, while charges of criminality seemingly overstate objections to the propriety of the message. If we insist on exaggerating or otherwise misrepresenting both justification for our positions and claims against our ideological opponents, do we not make it impossible to honestly debate the issues and work toward reasoned resolutions? How have we ended up in a place where rhetoric is more valued than substance? And what can we do about it? Meet the panel: Jennifer Elder is a CPA and Certified Speaking Professional who helps leaders future-proof their businesses by making smart decisions and staying ethical. JC Glick is a retired Army Ranger Lieutenant Colonel. He is a leadership, strategy, and culture advisor, as well as CEO of the Commit Foundation, an organization that helps high-performance veterans find their next adventure. Mark O’Brien is founder and principal of O’Brien Communications Group, a B2B brand-management and marketing-communications firm — and host of The Anxious Voyage, a syndicated radio show about life’s trials and triumphs. #ethics  #leadership  #integrity  #accountability  #culture

    1h 11m

  6. 12/18/2025

    Grappling with the Gray #134: Does social status obligate social good?

    Does celebrity impose a higher standard of social responsibility? That's the question that drives the conversation when Christopher Bauer, Diane Helbig, and Peter Winick join the ethics panel to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic: In recent weeks, two stories from the wide world of sports have made the headlines. In one, the FBI announced it had conducted a "massive, nationwide takedown" of two separate and illegal poker and sports-betting schemes with ties to Mafia families. The schemes reportedly spanned years and involved illicit gains from wire fraud, money laundering, extortion and gambling. More recently, Boston College senior Shane Hanafin was the only player to stand as the band played the alma mater after the last game of the season. He then remained on the football field for an hour. Despite a disappointing 1-10 record for the year, Shane felt compelled to linger as a demonstration of his gratitude for the opportunity to play. Fans and social media viewers alike found the story touching and inspiring. Star players make a fortune playing their games and endorsing products. Some of them leverage their sports careers to go into politics or acting. Young children of all ages look up to them as role models. So here’s the question: Does their notoriety impose upon them an obligation to hold themselves to a high standard of personal integrity?  When they engage in scandalous behavior, are they more guilty than the average citizen? If we’ve come to expect little in moral discipline from our elected officials, is it reasonable for us to expect anything more from celebrity athletes? Meet the panel: Christopher Bauer is a Speaker, Author, and Consultant on Ethics, Compliance, and Accountability. Diane Helbig is Chief Improvement Catalyzer at Helbig Enterprises, providing guidance and training to business owners and leaders around the world. Peter Winick works with individuals and organizations to build and grow revenue streams through their thought leadership platforms and is host of the Leveraging Thought Leadership podcast. #ethics  #leadership  #integrity  #accountability  #culture

    51 min

  7. 12/03/2025

    Grappling with the Gray #133: Are lottery players getting played?

    Can the greater good become an excuse for doing bad? That's the question that drives the conversation when ☘️Mark O'Brien, S. Scott Mason, and • Kirsten Yurich join the ethics panel to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic. Revenue from state lotteries goes to support a host of social causes, including education, environment, and veterans, among others. However, Fortune Magazine reported last year that:  “The average adult living in the poorest 1 percent of zip codes spends almost 5 percent (or $600 annually) of their income on lottery tickets, per the analysis. . . . Those living in the wealthiest 1 percent of zip codes spend only $150 on tickets, amounting to 0.15 percent of their paycheck.” Writing for National Review, Ben Connolly argues that the lottery is essentially a tax on the poor, observing that: “If you eliminated serial ticket buyers, and states only took money from people who bought a lottery ticket once a year on their birthday, state lotteries probably wouldn’t even cover their costs.” He goes on to argue that: “Gambling is a vice. It is not a social good. It is not an individual good. One of the roles of the conservative in society is to frown upon vices, to enforce social stigma against those activities that harm both the individual and society. Whether or not you believe that adults should be free to make their own choices about their money, including choosing to waste it on sports betting or lotteries, every conservative [and even libertarian] should agree that states shouldn’t be profiting from a vice.” We recognize that drug addiction undermines the health of our society. Is gambling addiction different? Should gambling be outlawed, or at least controlled, like drugs? And if not, does it then matter if government profits from it? Meet the panel: Jennifer Elder is a CPA and Certified Speaking Professional who helps leaders future-proof their businesses by making smart decisions and staying ethical. Scott Mason, aka the Myth Slayer, is a speaker, podcast host, and coach working with executives and entrepreneurs to Magnetize & Monetize Professional Freedom by Dislodging Toxic Myths to Ignite the Charisma Within. Kirsten Yurich is an Organizational Performance Management Consultant, Peer Leaders Group Chair with Vistage Worldwide, Inc., and Adjunct Professor of Education at Felician University. #ethics  #culture  #accountability  #leadership  #socialgood

    46 min

  8. 11/26/2025

    Grappling with the Gray #132: White House (East Wing) Down?

    How many of the issues we fight about are worth fighting about? That’s the question that drives the conversation when Krista Crawford, Ph.D., MBA, SPHR, Josh Green, and Jolanta Pomiotlo join the ethics panel to Grapple with the Gray. Here is our topic: In a recent article, Politico quoted former First Lady Betty Ford as saying that if the White House West Wing is the “mind” of the nation, then the East Wing — the traditional power center for first ladies — is the “heart.” The implication seems to be that Donald Trump’s tearing down of the East Wing to build a new ballroom is an assault on history. The president argues that the tents currently used for big events are unsightly, expensive, and cause damage to the White House lawn. Critics condemn the project as a “symbolic blow” to the East Wing’s legacy as a place where women made history. In 1948, Harry Truman was widely criticized for constructing the now-famous balcony. Truman explained that the awnings that shaded the White House facade were unsightly, and that the balconies would pay for themselves in a few years through reduced electricity consumption. (He also had the entire interior of the building gutted and rebuilt.) Before that, Thomas Jefferson was castigated for installing eastern and western colonnades, which were later replaced by Teddy Roosevelt. Are these past and present cases comparable? Is the president’s failure to navigate the standard public review process an act of imperial disregard for the law of merely cutting through red tape? In short, is this issue just the latest partisan bickering blown out of proportion, or is it really a subject worthy of debate? Meet the panel: Krista Crawford is a human resource consultant, adjunct instructor at Virginia Tech and Champlain College, and Group Chair with Vistage Worldwide, Inc. Josh Green is a keynote speaker and TEDx speaker. He advises leaders in business strategy, business growth, and leadership development. Jolanta Pomiotlo is Vice President of Information Technology for EXSIF Worldwide who manages innovative initiatives aimed at reducing operating costs, improving profit, and growing revenue. #ethics #leadership #integrity #accountability #culture

    39 min
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About

Are you ethical?  Join Rabbi Yonason Goldson and his panel of thinkers as they grapple with a new ethical challenge each week. Only by contemplating all sides and every angle can we improve ethical decision-making, build more trusting relationships, and help create a more ethical world.

Information

  • Creator
    Yonason Goldson
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    149
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Grappling with the Gray
  • Show Website
    Grappling with the Gray