Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher Marshall Burtcher

De-centering others and centering yourself in your life is *necessary*, not selfish.It is about understanding what matters personally to you while setting aside other people's opinions and perspectives of what you should be centering in your life.They are not the authority, and they do not live with the outcome like you do.You are the authority. You inherent the outcome and consequence of your actions. Thus, you must center yourself if your life is to yield well-being, peace, sati...

Knowledge overwhelm is a primary factor in experiencing freeze, procrastination, and loops of stagnation when you're trying to heal from trauma and instability.The mind's ravenous appetite for knowledge is driven by a fantasy that "if I'd only known better, I could have done better". There's a deep assumption that we're lacking something specific and when we find that specific thing, we will HEAL! What makes this so compelling is that it isn't necessarily wrong. But it is als...

Going Slow - It Is A MustTo heal, we must sloooooow down.To know ourselves, we must sloooooow down.To find direction in our lives, we must slooooooow down.Codependency, trauma, and the culture of "productivity" demands you speed up.You get it done now.Faster! Faster! FASTER! Healing, thriving, having a sense of self, liking yourself, loving yourself, loving others, feeling satisfaction - these all come from first slooooowing down. Slowing down helps us hear our own voice. It ...

Being neglected, being abused, being shoved into the world without guidance, care, shelter, or protection wired our attachment systems to be on high alert and braced for danger.Depending on what feels safest, your attachment system may try to control external things, resulting in anxious attachment.Or it may choose to avoid the threat all together and be needless and "independent", creating avoidant attachment.Or, if you're like me, you might experience high levels of anxiety about approachin...

Emotional Perfectionism, Part One: Making sure you feel the "right" things, not the real thingsI define emotional perfectionism as the rigid habit of feeling what one "should feel" in order to satisfy the real or perceived expectations of others.It is a sub-type of General Perfectionism, where behaviors and expressions are tailored to meet external expectations. This is a codependency behavior designed to help procure safety, belonging, and worth.Emotional perfectionism shows up as:- Ig...

Creation Phase is where you arrive with the ability to determine what kind of experiences you want to have, and then using your personal power, intuition, and skills, go out and receive those experiences.This all depends on knowing what you *actually* want, not what you think you want (which is often a product of trauma controling things rather than a genuine alignment within ourselves).This phase is all about understanding, creating, and following the alignments that lead you to outcomes are...