In this conversation, I sit down with Rachel Hulstein-Lowe, a licensed therapist, gender diversity expert, and parent coach whose work supports gender-diverse youth and the families learning how to walk alongside them. Rachel brings both clinical depth and lived experience into this conversation. We explore what it means for a child to express who they are, and what that moment asks of a parent, not just intellectually, but emotionally. We talk about gender identity in grounded, accessible language, the difference between understanding and acceptance, and the reality that every child’s journey is personal. Rachel shares how her work has evolved over the last decade, and how her own experience as a parent deepened her perspective in ways she couldn’t have anticipated. This conversation is thoughtful, human, and at times deeply moving. It invites us to slow down, examine what we think we know, and consider what it really means to see and believe someone for who they say they are. What You’ll LearnHow Rachel defines terms like cisgender, transgender, and non-binary in clear, accessible waysWhat it means for gender to exist on a spectrum rather than a binaryHow young people experience identity, both internally and in relationship to the world around themWhat parents often move through when their child shares their identityHow family systems adapt, including communication, boundaries, and trustWhy many people believe they don’t “know” someone who is gender diverseThe role of curiosity, empathy, and self-reflection in supporting othersWhat it means to truly listen when a child tells you who they are Three Core Insights 1. When authenticity is met, relationship deepens For many parents, there can be an initial sense of loss, of the life or identity they thought they understood. But what Rachel speaks to is something more expansive. When a child is met in their truth, the relationship often becomes more honest, more intimate, and more real than before. Not a performed connection, but one rooted in who they actually are. 2. Self-awareness emerges when we are willing to question what’s given What stood out to me is how deeply self-aware many of these kids are. Not because they were taught to be, but because they’ve had to reflect, question, and define themselves in ways most people never do. When you step outside of inherited norms, whether that’s about identity or anything else, you are invited into a deeper relationship with yourself. And from that, a different kind of clarity becomes available. 3. Identity is personal, and closer than we think There is no single way to understand identity. Each person’s experience is their own. And as Rachel shares, many people believe they don’t know anyone who is gender diverse, but they likely do. What often sits underneath that belief is distance, not reality. When we allow ourselves to become more curious and less certain, what once felt unfamiliar becomes more human, and more connected to all of us. Guest: Rachel Hulstein-Lowe, MSW, LICSWRachel Hulstein-Lowe (she/her) is a gender diversity expert, licensed therapist, parent coach, writer, and speaker. She helps gender-diverse youth embrace their authentic selves while supporting parents in moving from anxiety to a more grounded, empowered way of relating. With over 20 years of clinical experience, Rachel has worked with hundreds of families navigating identity, change, and connection. She is the creator of the Positive Parenting Method™ and the AFFIRM Program™, where she brings together professional expertise and personal insight to help families build understanding, trust, and stronger relationships. The A.F.F.I.R.M. Program is a 6-month transformational journey during which your parenting will shift from anxious to empowered. AFFIRM is tailored 1:1 coaching by a therapist with 20+ years of experience and lived experience as the parent of a nonbinary young adult. You'll receive tools for understanding both your parenting superpower, attachment, as well as gender diversity, leaving you feeling calmer communicating with your child, as well as more grounded. In these worrisome times, this VIP program enables you and your family to thrive. More info here: www.rachelhlowe.com/affirm-program Facebook: www.facebook.com/rmhlowe LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/rachelhulsteinlowe Instagram: www.instagram.com/rachel_hulsteinlowe_llc Substack: https://rachelhulsteinlowe.substack.com/ Resources MentionedConcepts: gender identity, non-binary, gender fluidity, parenting support, family systems Positive Parenting Method™ AFFIRM Program™ Let’s ConnectIf you’d like to explore more of my work or stay connected, you can find me here: 🌐 www.jenniferherrera.com Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iamjenniferherrera Follow on Instagram: https://instagram.com/selfmasterywithjennifer Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamjenniferherrera Subscribe & Spread the WordIf this conversation resonated, I’d love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you can continue these conversations with me. You can also share this with someone who might benefit from it. This work grows through real conversations and connection. Final NoteWhen someone shares something important about who they are, it can be a meaningful moment. You may not fully understand it right away, and that’s okay. What matters is how you respond...whether you choose to listen, stay open, and continue learning.
